Christmas Shopping

 

I have been unhappy with folks who post on Facebook or elsewhere that their Christmas shopping is all done well before Christmas.  Shopping for those I love always causes me stress because I want to give them all the perfect gifts and I don’t know what those should be.  I have lead adult church school classes three times over the last many years on Simplifying Christmas.  I know my dear daughter takes another attitude about this and was always concerned that we would simplify too much!

But…this year I have started shopping before Thanksgiving and I have a plan for the rest of my shopping.  Jim has suggested gift certificates for years and this year I think that along with the usual chocolate letters we will give the grandchildren cash.  Two of them will get Skittles instead due to allergies and preferences.  A highlight for me last year was little Henry unwrapping his chocolate letter and with sheer delight saying, “It’s the first letter of my name!”  Laura’s comment was,  “That’s why we send him to that expensive preschool!”  So what about the adults?  Because some of them may read this blog, I will keep that a secret for now.  And our oldest granddaughter and her fiancée?  I think they qualify for chocolate letters and the adult gift.

I can do all the needed purchases online and I have already purchased the gift bags for the adults at Michael’s.    This may all prove to be a very needed process if I schedule my second hip replacement surgery yet before Christmas.  

I will not brag on Facebook however.  And now the next big question.  Do we buy almond paste and make banket again?  Every year I say this is the last time we will do this and then I remember how much people enjoy our special Dutch treat and we do it again.  I might still have a pound of almond paste in the freezer from last year.  Stay tuned.  No decision on that needs to be made today.    

In Praise of My Husband after 58 Years of Marriage

 Who is my first blog reader?  It is the man to whom I have been married for over 58 years.  And my editor who corrects my errors and typos.  

This morning we made our weekly grocery shopping trip together after a Starbucks coffee treat and I told him I did not take these outings for granted. In fact, I emailed our grand-daughter and her fiancée and said I hoped they could be doing the same thing in 50 years. 

The “year of the hip” has made some changes in our relationship.  I had assured a social worker who called before my hip replacement surgery last May that my 79 year old husband was capable of being a support person.  He has filled that role magnificently.  A change that has taken place is that he takes charge of more things.  He will ask me if we have set a timer when we put things in the oven.  He will take things out of the washer and put them in the dryer without my asking him to do so.  He helps me put socks and shoes on my right foot.  I don’t have the mobility to be able to do that without pain.  

Sadly, too he has been my “therapist.”  He is encouraging me to keep my “eyes on the prize” of getting past another dreaded surgery and having an easier time walking and doing the ordinary tasks of life.  When I worried about my upcoming appointment with the surgeon and my concerns, he suggested we write things down in preparation.  And I know he will go with me to the appointment. And then there is the joy of the activities we do together each day—the NYT Spelling Bee and a daily crossword puzzle.  

One member of our small group at church mentioned this week that one of her major roles in life was “widow.”  I can so understand her sharing that because I worry about having to take over all the things Jim does with our finances and our car and our transportation.  I hope he outlives me but I know we will have no choice in this matter and I just need to be grateful for each day we have together.  

Hooray!

This post is TMI—too much information for my few readers, but it is a recording of what is important in my life right now! 

I kept postponing a six month glucose check hoping I would lose some weight.  But instead of losing weight I gained five pounds.  I googled first line of treatment for diabetes and decided it was not too threatening and if I had diabetes, I better not ignore it.  I told myself I would get through this hurdle and then decide about another hip surgery.  So yesterday (Friday) I fasted and saw Dr. Delacruz and had blood drawn at my primary care providers.  The aide said she would call me on Monday with the results.  We broke my fast by going to IHOP.  I was thinking it would be my last high carbs and sugar meal for a long time! And it tasted so good!

Much to my surprise, Jill from Montgomery Internal Medicine called already this morning and said my blood sugar was down a bit and I could have it checked again in a year.  Always before they had stipulated six months.  All the other tests (cholesterol, iron, etc.) were normal. I am so surprised and relieved. And I am feeling so thankful.  

So now I need to call to make an appointment for my right hip replacement surgery.  I dread it as I did the first time—maybe even more.  Dr. Delacruz really encouraged me to do it—saying life is short and you need to make it better.  He said I would not need to do another nuclear stress test—but that was only one of my many concerns and fears for surgery. 

A motivating factor for me is the reopening of the Princeton Art Museum and knowing there is no way I can walk from any parking lot to the museum and then enjoy a leisurely stroll through the exhibits.  That may seem like a strange motivation but it has been something I have been looking forward to in the five years that it has been closed.  And it is a significant sign to me of the limits imposed on my life right now.  

So Monday morning I will make myself call Dr. Culp and get the process started again.  I have to have courage. “What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in thee.”  That is a text from my youth that comes back to me now.  Jim has called it the “year of the hip” and I am thinking that by March 3, 2026, it will be a year from the x-ray that said “serious osteoarthritis.”  That started the process for the left hip. Maybe by March 2026  I could be walking without a cane or walker and without pain.  And then the next year will not have to be “the year of the hip” again!  

————-November 10. It took an effort for me to get out of bed this morning knowing that I said I would call Dr. Culp and start the process for another surgery.  But I did it.  I ate my muesli, did Spelling Bee with Jim, and picked up my phone—and made an appointment for November 24.  I assume he will be scheduling surgery a few weeks after that so I have lots of time—too much—to think about it and back out.  But I have made a decision and hope by the new year I will be walking without a cane or walker and without pain.  

In Praise of Small Groups

 

When we joined Nassau Presbyterian Church, we knew we would have to put out some effort to get to know our fellow worshippers.  We joined a small group—particularly looking for one with young people in it.  We really liked that group—We met for six weeks during Lent at the home of two young men. Then Covid hit and the next time we did the group by Zoom. That was a bit awkward at times—with one member joining us upside down!  

Jim and I led groups twice at our apartment.  I did the opening prayer and “ice breaker” questions.  Jim did  the study and the closing prayer.  Again, we got to know several more folks. Since that time, we have joined groups four more times and yesterday our latest group met at the lovely Stonebridge apartment of our leader.  We had a good discussion of what it means to be “evangelical.”  This will lead into a discussion of the Christian nationalism that is being promoted by too many—not our church!  

The joy of doing these small groups is that when we get to church—in the sanctuary the last few weeks, not livestream—we have people to greet.  We know names and faces and this is a good thing when one belongs to a large congregation.  In South Bend, we knew every person, young and old, in church and knew if someone was a visitor. But not here in Princeton.  However, we have made progress in that way.    We go to church to worship, not just to greet friends.  But familiar faces make church a place of fellowship too.

A New Car

 Four years ago, we did the very same thing.  We went into Gateway Kia for information about the end of our lease for our 2022 Seltos which wasn’t due until March.  And instead of just information, we left with another car.  This time it is not orange, but bright blue—at least not boring white or black.

Marco greeted us and had us try out a K-4and a Seltos.  I liked the K-4 which was smaller and easier to get into with a bad hip.  Jim liked the Seltos we had for the last four years.  The price was comparable with the Seltos a bit more.  Investigating the Seltos meant a ride about ten minutes away from the main lot where there was a field of inventory.   Marco hit the alarm on the key fob so he could find the Seltos in the array of cars.  Jim drove both cars around the mostly empty parking lot of the Lucky Strike bowling alley next to Gateway Kia.  

I was happy enough to bow to Jim’s choice in this matter as he is the primary driver by far.  So then we began the paper work which was endless.  First it was at Marco’s desk and then later for the financial papers at Kevin’s desk.  We signed our names dozens of times on paper and on a screen.  We did not read every word.  

By this time, I was wishing I had eaten a lunch so Jim got me a bag of potato chips from a vending machine.  I used the Kia women’s bathroom with some fear as I saw how low the toilet was and hoped with my bad hip I could get up from it.  But I made it—another problem with my handicapping condition these days.  Plus reaching my purse and cane which I had hung on a hook.

Marco made a call to State Farm and got our insurance updated. Then there was the transfer of stuff from one car to the other—the garage door opener and the Easy Pass transponder.  Marco managed to get a new piece of Velcro to attach the transponder on the new car.  We remembered the flashlight and phone cord in the compartment between the seats and the umbrellas in the back.  

And then there was some miserable password that had expired from hours before on Jim’s phone and Marco couldn’t get our Kia apps to connect.  It was all frustrating and by this time it was dark and five hours had gone by.  At last, we were in the new car and on our way home on congested Route One.  I had suggested a McDonald’s supper but by that time, just wanted to be home with a glass of wine and whatever we could find in the refrigerator.

We watched some NFL instead of the World Series game although we did watch the last few regulation innings between the Dodgers and the Blue Jays.  We went to bed at our usual 11:30 when the game was going into extra innings at a 5-5 score.  At some point I checked my phone during the wee hours and saw that it was still tied at the 12th inning.  It went to 18 innings with a Dodger win and a Freddy Freeman walk-off home run.  That will be one for the record books! Apparently Ohtani was on base a record nine times with four hits and five walks.  The final score was 6-5.  No more runs until the last one! 

We will miss that orange car that we could always find in parking lots.  The bright blue Seltos will stand out too.  Jim contacted PNC today to get the automatic withdrawal set up but that will have to wait until after our first regular payment in a month on November 27.  

So we are all set we hope for another 48 months.  It is sobering to think ahead that far.  Will we still be driving?  (There’s that ominous word “still” again!) Will we want another car at that point?  Maybe we’ll be at Stonebridge and taking advantage of their transportation services.  We don’t know.  No one seemed to question the wisdom of granting two 79 year olds a 48 month lease.

It was an exhausting afternoon but I am thankful that we were able to do it together and that we have the financial resources to pay for a new car again.

Grace Notes Choir

 I think I have written about our aptly named choir before but had a few thoughts to add to my previous blog.  There were very few men there today so Noel, our director, does his best to sing with the men and accompany us and direct us with his head movements.  That is no small feat.  

I don’t usually make suggestions to Jim but afterwards I mentioned that the men just need to sing out more—even if they are not singing perfectly.  I remember our church choir director in South Bend telling us to “sin boldly” when singing.  I guess if he could hear our errors, he could help us correct them.

Jim told me that today he had actually told himself to try to do so—to sing out.    Jim can read the music pretty well and can carry the parts but he does not have a strong voice.  I don’t either, but I do sing with some confidence.  Jim told me that a new choir member today thanked him for sitting next to him and said it was good to have someone there who could sing!  Yes!  Jim still has some stinging memories of our high school choir director who asked him if he “was kidding, of course” when he sang a scale.  That same gentleman was my first organ teacher and after practicing a piece all week, he asked me if I was “sight-reading.”  

I told Jim he looked like one of the younger fellas in the group.  He may be or not but we are not the oldest ones there.  I often don’t really feel like going but am always happy I have gone.  Noel once quoted another very aged choir member who said “I don’t sing because I am happy; I am happy because I sing.”  

It’s not just the singing but also the mental effort of concentrating on something for an hour. And maybe the physical effort of breathing and sustaining sound.   It’s good for both of us and I am thankful our church sponsors this group and pays a director to lead us.  And our director is a gem—a good teacher who asks for results but also is accepting of our limitations.  

Being Thankful

 A few days ago the text I picked out from the lectionary and saved for my contemplation was “In all circumstances, give thanks.”  Yesterday I had an opportunity to do so!

Monday night I started having muscle spasms in my back.  I looked it up in my 2024 weekly calendar and it was exactly the same pain in the same place as over a year ago—November 2024.  I put a message on my Penn Medicine portal asking Sylvia, the nurse practitioner that I saw then, if she could just call in a prescription for the same muscle relaxer.  I did not hear from her and the day was moving on.  I dreaded another night of pain with very little sleep. So I called our primary care—Montgomery Internal Medicine—and went through their endless phone chain twice, deciding on leaving a message for their “clinical staff.”  Someone called me back within 15 minutes and asked how far we were from their office.  Ten minutes!  They said to come right in and I was able to see Sylvia again.  And once again she was very kind and helpful.  We agreed that I didn’t need an x-ray this time.  She called in a prescription and we went to CVS to get it.  Jim was kind enough to wait the 15 minutes it took to get it filled—and we had six others to pick up between the two of us! (He was very pleased that his eye drops were not over $500 as predicted, but a more manageable $140)  Mine were mostly free—with generic and common medications.

I slept much better last night but the pain is not gone.  It took five days and five pills last time so I am trying to be optimistic about that relief.  I told the office receptionist, Stephanie (the aide) , and Sylvia how thankful I was to have a place to call when I was in pain and to have them get right back to me.  I think they said something like “That’s what we are here for.”  

This is one of the blessings of living in a place for six years.  We have people to call when there is pain or when a tooth breaks as has happened to Jim more than once.  I took my second muscle relaxer pill, deciding not to wait until bedtime.  If it makes me drowsy, I’ll take a nap!  I resisted the OxyContin left from my hip surgery which I never took but I was tempted this time. So for now it’s back to the heating pad and a quiet day at home.  We cancelled a dinner date with friends at a new for us Turkish restaurant on Nassau Street.  Jim had a Healthy Choice frozen meal and I found what I think was leftover zucchini stew in the freezer.  Easy enough and tasty enough.  And then a night of post-season baseball on TV.  No Mets and no Phillies, so I guess we are not really invested in any one team at this point. 

————It took five days and five pills to get rid of the spasms—just like it did a year ago.  I have five pills left “for the next time” Sylvia said. And because there was no real cause for this to start, it probably will happen again.