2023--What did I Miss?

 Yesterday I looked over my blog posts for 2023 in preparation for my annual Blog2Print book.  I realized that there were some events, national, international, and personal, that did not get included. 

I pray every night for peace--in Gaza and in Ukraine.  But I had not posted about Putin's escalation of the war in Ukraine last February.  At least there have been no nuclear accidents as we feared at times or really any push beyond Ukraine.  But it has been months of fighting and destruction without any progress for peace.  There is so much destruction and death in Ukraine and many Russian soldiers have been sacrificed for Putin's cause.

And then there are the 91 indictments of our former president Donald Trump.  NYT asks if I want to be kept informed by a daily newsletter and I do not want to have my news feed focus on him any more than it already is.  It is confusing.  There will be trials in Florida, Georgia, Washington DC, and there were already trials in NYC.  With his appeals, it could go on forever.  He hopes it goes on until he gets re-elected and then he can pardon himself and his co-conspirators.  I pray for justice, for wisdom on the part of the judges and juries, but also lately for a change of heart for Trump. Enough of his ugly pronouncements insulting the judges and President Biden!  

I wrote about Jim's crisis with high blood pressure but not about mine in late November.  It is always high when I go to the gynocologist so I took it at home to reassure them that it was lower there.  Well, it was a bit high at home too but at their office it was scary high.  They immediately called Montgomery Internal Medicine and sent me over there to see Nurse Patel.  It was still high there but not enough to send me to the ER thank goodness!  She prescribed an additional drug and it worked!  My bp was pretty normal at my follow-up appointment last week.  

Jim is very faithful about walking every day.  I am not.  My back and hip ache and it makes walking unpleasant.  Which brings me to my next update.  We have begun inquiring into Stonebridge, a senior living community.  We went to a very nice lunch this fall which was informative even if overwhelming with the decisions that would need to be made--various price points and many floor plans.  I am ready for someone to take over our meal planning but we are not really ready to give up our lovely appartment here at Barclay Square.  At least we have no house to sell and have down-sized once already. 

But one cannot postpone a decision to move until one really needs it!  You have to pass their medical checks to live independently--as well as their financial checks.  So if we are going to make such a move, it needs to be done while we are still "independent."  We had a second appointment for a brunch at Stonebridge with a smaller group but we were both sick with colds and had to cancel.  I am wondering what 2024 will bring in that regard. 

Christmas 2023

 

It's Christmas Day.  We can still look forward to a dinner at Jeff and Susan's home with all of our grandchildren plus a boyfriend plus a boyfriend's parents.  Is this a step in a relationship when it is time to meet the grandparents?

Saturday was our family party at the Conway's home with 17 of us.  I had settled on quilted vests from Land's End for everyone aged 12 and up and was very pleased to see that many of the group donned their vests immediately.  The chocolate letters are a tradition that always seems appreciated. Michael and Laura had a great dinner for us with beef tenderloin, mashed potatoes, and green beans.  Dan and Alex made a spinach salad and cookies.  And how happy we are that Susan is always willing to make her wonderful rolls!  H helped me put together a snow man brownie.  A highlight for me was our all joining in singing Christmas carols--from sacred ones to a vigorous The 12 Days of Christmas with Susan helping us all keep track of where we were.  Even little H could join in on Jingle Bells.  I took a video but I will joyfully keep the vision and sound in my memory.

Sunday was Christmas Eve.  We could have gone to church four times.   We settled on three livestream services. We did the Nassau Church 10 am service from home and then were happy we could do the Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church nativity pageant from home too.  R and A were readers and did their readings so well.  H was an adorble sheep peering over the rail overlooking the pulpit area. We saved our church's 9 pm Lessons and Carols for this morning while making banket.

Banket!  Two years ago I said never again, but for some reason I decided to try once more.  Now I say again no more!  Next year I order from VanderVeen's Dutch Store--ready-made, not pounds of almond paste. Rolling out the pastry, removing it from the parchment paper, sticky hands from the almond filling--what a mess!  I will give some to our neighbors downstairs and bring some along to the Princeton VKs and maybe one for Alonso, our former maintenance man who once asked me if I could make some for Halloween too!

I hope and pray that we have many more Christmases to celebrate together with our families.  I feel very thankful for this one!

Why We Moved to Princeton

 

Jeff and Susan live ten minutes away from our apartment.  Laura and Michael and their family live about an hour away.  Dan and Alexandra are about 2 1/2 hours north of us.  This means that holiday get-togethers are possible without a 700 mile trip east on I-80.  But it also means that we can participate in other family events.

In the last month or so we have gone to Katie's Princeton University Ballet show.  We have seen Susan's photos in a photography exhibit.  And last night we went to the Harriton High School Winter Concert in which Jasper sang in the large concert choir, the select and auditioned Vocal Ensemble and the acapella group Pitch Please.  When the large choir opened with "Festival Gloria" -a gloria in excelsis deo--I just closed my eyes and let the beautiful sound enter my soul.  

I'm so glad we can support our grandchildren in their musical endeavors.  Adding to these events, we livestreamed Michael's George Washington Jazz Orchestra Holiday Concert and Lessons and Carols from Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church--in which Laura and Jasper sang and Jasper read a lesson.  It was good to be able to do those events from home because traffic along the eastern corridor is often very heavy--as it was last night. We were home safely by 10 pm.  

I'm Happy Because I Sing

A few years ago our church choir director quoted an aged choir member who said, "I don't sing because I'm happy; I'm happy because I sing."  Singing does bring joy!  

This fall Jim and I began singing with the Grace Notes Singers, a group of older folks who meet twice a month at a nearby senior citizen community.  The director is the music director at our church, Nassau Presbyterian Church, and is a wonderful musician who also has the gift of being a great teacher and a person who accepts less than perfection!  The music he chooses has been challenging  and really beautiful.

Today our group led an Advent Communion Service for the residents of the community.  Next week we will do the same service at another nearby senior community.  

It has been a joy to make music with others again--and to do it with Jim.  He encouraged me to join and I encouraged him to drive me there and give it a try.  

A Voice from the Past

 On Wednesday morning I woke up to a message on Facebook from a 5th grade student in 1968 wondering if I was the Mrs. Vanderkam who was the "beautiful woman" who was his teacher.  He said he saw my name through one mutual friend and if I didn't want to respond that was OK but if I did, he had "more to say."  

I remembered him--but have to say one memory was when he jumped out an open window when we had a fire drill.  The principal came on the intercom and said, "Mrs. VanderKam, tell your students to leave by the door, not the window."   I was not happy!  But I did not think I would remind him of that incident!

I sent him my email making it easier to communicate because I don't often use FB messenger.  He wrote me a long email.  And of all things, he said he wanted "to issue an apology for jumping out of the window of your classroom during a fire drill and inspiring xxxx to follow me.  Hope you didn't get in trouble for that."

I was so tickled that after 53 years, this was still on his mind!  It seems amusing now, but it was not funny at the time!  I was angry and embarrassed.  And as I was rarely angry at those students, it must have made an impression that lasted! 

He also remembered my doing a mock election and exactly what the numbers were--one for Humphrey, one for Wallace, and all the rest for Nixon--including his which he said would no longer be true.  He remembered my bringing in a TV for the World Series--and he found a note I wrote to his parents telling them that he was a good writer.  All good memories!

I was also amused that others at his recent 9th grade reunion remembered a class trip in which I did a very unteacher like thing--and wore a bathing suit!  He was not in that class he said or he would have remembered!    I laughed out loud reading that and hoped it was not the Italian bikini I had purchased the previous summer!  I still have a photo of Jim and me on a Mediterranean beach from that summer but I will not post it!  Maybe I can find a less revealing photo of those mini-skirted, long-haired days.

What a lovely thing to get his affirmations and thanks from so many years ago.  Those were three good years of teaching 5th grade and then 6th grade. 

Holiday Planning

Holiday planning and preparation is so much easier than it was years ago.  My daughter and daughter-in-law settled who would host Thanksgiving and who would host Christmas.  I asked what we could bring but did not get any definite answers.  Our traditional fudge?  Dan said he would make it using the lessons he has learned from The Great British Bakeoff.  My usual sweet potato and cranberry dish? No.  Last year I wrote a reminder to myself that Jim and I were the only ones who really liked it and the leftovers lasted a long time! 

I will try to make a cheese and fruit platter that looks like a turkey.   I bought some asparagus this morning.  Last Saturday we saw a turkey cake at McCaffrey's but I didn't buy it thinking it was too soon to purchase it.  So today we went back, hoping there were more.  And there were loads.  I even got to thank the bakery manager for her efforts.  The cashier, an older man, wondered if we could stop the line, get coffee and dig into it!  

Every year I ask one of the grandchildren to read Psalm 100 before we eat.  Several of the older ones reminisced about how it was their turn over the years.  It was a rite of passage.  The child I asked to do it this year may be reluctant but his older sibling has already made plans to take over if needed.  I felt so good that the tradition was remembered by others besides Grandma.  

Then there is Christmas planning.  For years, planning for work at Family Literacy took effort.  It meant buying lIttle gifts for the children, finding someone to be Santa Claus (I always successfully recruited someone who was African-American), organizing food to be served and a place big enough for parents and children and staff to sit down and eat.  But those days are done and I remember them fondly but with a measure of relief too!

Gift-giving is a joy but also a source of stress.  I want to give just the right gifts but am at a loss for what that can be.  This year I have already purchased gifts for the women in the family.  The men and boys?  I have no idea but I am collecting suggestions.  I will remember to buy chocolate letters from VanderVeens Dutch Store--early enough so that they can be mailed out in time.  One year it was a crisis when I was too late.  The same child who remembered Psalm 100 has asked about the letters in the past.  Another tradition that I want to keep going!   

Everyone will remember when one grandson opened his gift last year and found Jim's puzzle book under his gift that I thought I lost.   My Amazon boxes got mixed up and Jim got his puzzle book after all.

It is a joy that we will travel four miles and not 700 miles to spend the holiday with our family.  Everyone should be there--several hours home from college in D.C.,  several hours from work in Maryland, an hour from Gladwyne, Pennsylvania, and 2 1/2 hours from Wallkill, New York.  Plus two others dear to our family from New York City.  How many of us?  16 I think!  What a blessing!  I am thankful!  ( I was corrected--18--I forgot Jim and myself!)

-----------December 21  All gifts are purchased and have arrived.  All shopping was done online which seems a bit sad to me, but was easy. The chocolate letters have arrived.  I can't do the banket because I still have the end of a cold.  I hope we can go to our family party at the Conway's.  I will probably be over the cold but Jim's is four days after mine and he is really coughing a lot.  

A Saturday in Princeton

 

Most Saturdays involve a morning of errands and shopping.  There is almost always a trip to McCaffrey's for groceries and often a stop at CVS for prescriptions.  Sometimes we make a trip to the library to pick up my requests. And later in the day we cheer for the Irish when there is a Notre Dame football game on TV.

But this week there was no game.  We made just a one stop trip to McCaffrey's. And then we had an afternoon and early evening of adventure.

We drove ten minutes to Jeff and Susan's house and they drove to the Princeton campus on surprisingly busy roads.  They had tickets to the 5 pm PUB show--Princeton University Ballet--in which Katie was dancing.  It was so good to have them know their way around and for us to be able to follow their lead. Katie was in only one number this semester due to her busy schedule as a Mechanical Engineering PhD, living off campus, and teaching a class.  But as always, it was a great show of amazing dancers and the best number for us was the one in which we got to see Katie. (modern dance, not ballet and very lively!)

From there we walked across campus to Birdivirsity--an opening reception for photos of birds in which Susan had two photos accepted.  It was great to see the enlarged photos with her descriptions. We were proud in-laws!

Again, we were happy to have transportation provided as we headed to Nassau Diner, a restaurant right across from our church that we had never noticed.  With breakfast served all day, there was a variety of good choices and we all had delicious suppers.  

Jeff and Susan have been so good in welcoming us to their home town for the last four years and we are grateful to be able to share in their lives here.   

A Visit to Shawangunk (and Dan and Alexandra)

 

We are home from a short overnight visit to see Dan and Alex in Wallkill, New York.  It may have been a bit past peak leaf peeping time but the ride there and back was lovely and the view from their home was spectacular--looking up at the Shawangunk Ridge (I think that is what it is called--Gertrude's Nose was one rocky cliff).

We began our visit with a walking tour of New Paltz's Huguenot Street in which our guide Eddie told us the history of the first settlers with an emphasis on debunking the usual theories of their fleeing religious persecution.  He included accounts of the Lenape Indians who were there first and the slaves who lived and worked in the homes of the patentees. 

We had a very nice dinner at One With Land, a new restaurant that had taken over from one called Owl and paid tribute to its predecessor with its new name.  After dinner, Jim and I were introduced to the Great British Bake Off so we feel we are now more culturally aware.

D

This morning we did a bit more sight-seeing beginning with a look at the extensive garden Dan and Alex have created.  Then our first stop was the Shawangunk Reformed Church founded in 1730.  The church doors were open for visitors.   The cemetery was huge--with almost 300 years of burials.  

The next stop was the Shawangunk Grasslands National Wildlife Refuge where Dan and Alex look for birds that are native to the diminishing grasslands in the USA.  I was fascinated to see what grasslands look like--not just reading about them in the memoirs I've read recently about prairie life.  The grass is taller than I imagined and waves in the breeze.  Dan and Alex feel privileged to live so close to a national wildlife refuge.  They spotted fellow birders Tom and Jane (a lot closer to our age!) and exchanged ideas of what they could see in the area today.  (cattle egret--not usually in Ulster County)

It was an easy ride home and we are glad that there is no evidence of our mouse invasion--no smell.  We shall see if it is quiet tonight.

Our children have always enriched our lives with their interests and activities and they continue to do so as adults!  We are thankful!

Warfare with a Mouse

 I noticed that I posted on the mouse issue already a few weeks ago.  Sadly, the saga is not over but we may have moved into a new stage in the battle.

After the spraying did not eliminate the nightly scratching sounds, Adriano set traps in the attic. Jim said that he heard a new sound that night--one that seemed like thrashing and banging around.  He assumed the mouse was caught and was trying to free itself.  Amazingly, I slept through that episode. 

When Adriano and his colleagues came to inspect the traps, they said that two of the seven traps were missing and there was no mouse dead or alive in sight.  So what could have happened?  Adriano looked all over the attic but with blown-in insulation, it was hard to find the missing traps. 

We did not hear a mouse last night.  I fear the next evidence of a mouse will be the terrible odor of a dead one.  Adriano said that the odor should rise up and not come down to us.  I hope not.  He said he is going to come back to check on the status of the traps again today.   Didn't see him today--maybe tomorrow.

We have been so happy with our apartment and with maintenance here.  But this has been frustrating.  We pay too much money in rent to not be able to get an uninterrupted night of sleep.  

To be continued....(The available mouse photos are so cute--but not appealing to me right now! So no photo on this blog.)

----------November 3--no mouse sounds for several nights now.  Shhh.  Hope this doesn't start it up again!

Home for a Week

We have been home for a week and we are happy to be home.  I have been thinking how it is a good thing to like being home and not wanting to be on the road or busy all the time.  We like our routines.  We like our apartment and our frequent sports watching.  I am not fond of meal planning or preparing but I like to eat so it needs to be done.  Two weeks of frequent meals out gave me a weight gain of three or four pounds that have to go!  

This week has been one of terrible news coming out of the Middle East with thousands dead and injured--both in Israel and in Gaza.  Our hope and prayer is that it doesn't escalate.  The news out of Washington DC is also chaotic with the House of Representatives unable to choose a speaker and thus unable to accomplish any goals.  And then the news continues on the several indictments for former President Trump with the latest bit that one of his lawyers has pleaded guilty just before her trial in Georgia;  we wonder what her cooperation will mean for the others.

Our lives involve frequent doctor's appointments.  Jim had a good and reassuring one this week with his urologist for the six month follow up for his prostate cancer diagnosis of four years ago.  

We had the joy of a dinner out with our friends the Moorheads who treated us at Seasons 52 to celebrate Jim's induction into the AAAS.  And we had the fun of our first Wall Street Journal Wine Club shipment which to my surprise, my husband took charge of ordering.  Our first bottle (Caballie Blanc)was really a winner; the second not as much.  But it is fun to enjoy them and read about them.  

We began planning for the church small group which will meet at our apartment starting next week.  Suddenly the carpeted steps look terrible and needed cleaning.  We will dust and vacuum and clear off the coffee table. We have begun to look at the lesson and have emailed the group.  I have planned the snack.

 Jim was able to get in his weekly golf outing again.  I have spent time with my Goodreads "want to read" list and began downloading some for my Kindle app on my phone.  And as always,  there is our daily Spelling Bee time each morning where we don't stop until we get to "genius" together--usually with the help of the two-letter hints on the site.  And we do a happy hour NYT Crossword puzzle with each one of us on our own laptops. 

Last week Saturday was a great win for Notre Dame football over Southern Cal.  We are watching the Phillies and the Diamondbacks in the NLCS with the Phillies ahead 2 to 1.  We watched the Liberty lose to the Aces in the WNBA finals.  When we complain about the frequent repetition of some commercials, we have to admit that maybe it is because we are spending so many hours in front of the TV in the evenings.

I write about our trips and adventures.  It seemed good this morning to also write about a wonderfully  ordinary week at home.

A Trip to Notre Dame

 

DQ treats!

We have arrived at the Morris Inn at Notre Dame where Jim will be participating in a conference honoring his former colleague Gary Anderson who is retiring soon.  We had a mostly uneventful trip here--almost 700 miles--a trip that we took many times during the years we lived in South Bend.

Last night's stay was at a place familiar to us over the years, the Holiday Inn Express.  Because it was unseasonably cold, Jim turned on the heat in the room.  Smoke billowed out of the register.  He quickly turned it off and opened the door to the hall.  We were given another room down the hall but were hesitant to turn that heat on.  Eventually, I was so bold as to give it a try and all was well--and the room warmed up nicely.

Supper was also at a familiar place--Ruby Tuesday's--just down the road.  We came back to the room for Sunday Night Football.

Today's trip was blessedly routine.  We stopped at Martin's and picked up a few things for snacks.  We were able to check into our room early choosing priority parking--at $18 a night it was a bargain compared to last week's $48 dollars a night in the challenging parking deck at Le Meridien in Cambridge. 

The trip was easy for us but because of the Hamas attack on Israel and then retaliation by Israeli forces, four participants for the conference were unable to come.  We are wondering if they can still join by Zoom.  

-------------October 10  Jim is in meetings all day.  I had granola from home for breakfast with some milk taken from HIE yesterday.  I then got a great cup of coffee at the coffee shop downstairs--no complimentary coffee available.  I was able to meet Linda Hanstra, a friend from church here in SB, and one I've kept up contact with--particularly because she has asked me to vet several pieces she has written.  We had a great chat over another cup of coffee.

Meals are always an issue--but I treated myself to an apple turnover for lunch!  

Last night's dinner at the Anderson's was lovely.  Lisa planned a musical celebration for Gary with several numbers--mostly light-hearted but one very somber canon for four women's voices:  By the Rivers of Babylon We Wept--as we all thought about the war in Israel and the conferees who could not fly to the US.

October 11  Last night we joined a few others for a light supper at the Coleman-Morse Building, a short walk from the Morris Inn.  It was fun to see Door Dash robots roaming the campus. After chatting over supper, Jim suggested a DQ treat--a great idea.

October 11  Jim gave his paper today.  Four of the presentations were via Zoom with folks who could not leave Israel.

I met with Lisa, Madge and Andrea, friends from our South Bend church, for coffee this morning.  We stopped at the grocery store on our way back to the Inn and I heard "Mary!"  It was a student from Family Literacy days--the kind of meeting that would occur more often in South Bend but never in New Jersey!  I had to ask her name but then I certainly did remember her--and her toddler from those days is now 20 years old!  

We met John and Lois who drove two hours to meet us for supper at Villa Macri where we had a leisurely dinner.  After getting back to the Inn, we decided we could still make a short walk to the Grotto. I lit a candle and prayed for all those on my nightly prayer list.  

It was a Phillies win tonight --10 to 2.  Leaving the restaurant we saw a few moments of it with Bryce Harper's three run home and then Trea Turner's later.

I think I'll end this posting now with the hope that it will also be an uneventful two day ride home--with an overnight stay at another HIE, another familiar one in Donegal, Pennsylvania.

October 12  Donegal, Pennsylvania Holiday Inn Express--407 miles--bought supper at nearby McDonald's which we have done before.  With a bottle of wine from Martin's we were all set!  Time to watch the Phillies who are ahead of the Braves 2 to 1 games amazingly!  

We began the day with coffee at Martin's with Dan and Jody Machiela--a great visit with them--and a gift for Jim of Dan's latest book.  

It was a good trip but we are eager to be home--maybe about 5 hours tomorrow.

--------------October 12--home at 1:30--easy driving today--about 700 miles total.

Jim is Inducted into the AAAS

 

We are home after a three day trip to Cambridge, Massachusetts where Jim was inducted as a part of the class of 2022 and 2023 into the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.  He joined a long list of scholars, artists, performers, leaders, philantropists, etc. going back to John Adams and Benjamin Franklin.  His class included Glenn Close and Abraham Verghese who gave a short speech as the representative of his group of the humanities. 

Our trip did not start well.  We almost forgot my dress clothes on the floor of the bedroom.  The weather was terrible and the five hour ride was dangerous with poor visibility and trucks spraying us with water.  We found our hotel easily however (Le Meridien) although getting into a parking space in the hotel garage was a challenge.  We enjoyed our kind of supper--MacDonald's and we bought  a four pack of wine for later.  The opening event Friday night featured John Lithgow and a conversation with David Rubenstein and Sheila Johnson.  Coincidentlally Jim's sister Terri and brother-in-law Ken had visited us the previous night in Princeton after their stay at Johnson's Salamander Hotel in Virginia.  We briefly joined the hotel reception afterwards but it was noisy and crowded and we were happy to escape to our room.

Saturday morning we found a great coffee shop, Mariposa, on Massachusetts Avenue and enjoyed pastries and dark roast coffee.  The afternoon was the highlight of the induction ceremony.  The AAAS provided shuttles to Kresge auditorium on the MIT campus. Jim had a reserved seat with his Humanities Group Section IV Religious Studies 7.  I found a seat on an aisle in the mezzanine--after looking for restrooms knowing it was going to be a long program.  And it was--three hours of short speeches and then each inductee called up by name and affiliation to sign his or her name to the membership rolls.  After the session there was a really nice reception in a tent outside the auditorium and then a shuttle ride back to the hotel.  Jim said he was delayed in meeting me because of the many folks who wanted a selfie with Glenn Close.  Jim was not among them!

Signing the membership book

And then--the Notre Dame football team won a very tense game over Duke in Durham.  With less than a minute to go, Audric Esteme ran for a touchdown--surprising everyone who expected a last ditch try for a field goal for a possible win.  

Leaving the hotel this morning presented a few more challenges.  We almost left our suitcase next to the car with each one of us assuming the other had put it in.  And then we had to get help to open the exit gate of the parking deck when the access card was a challenge.  And there was a 5 K race closing off some streets.  But we made it! And now we are home again after a much more pleasant ride in dry conditions.  

I was very proud of Jim and so glad he could be honored in this way. When the inductees were first asked to stand for applause on Friday night, it made me tearful!  

Apartment Life

 In so many ways, we are happy with our apartment but there are adjustments and issues.  

Jim has been hearing a mouse in the wall in the middle of the night.  Yesterday he put his complaint on the "portal" and maintenance was here promptly.  They will return on Monday morning to do something about it--which may involve a hole in the wall.  I fear a mouse in the house but at least the annoying scratching will be over we hope.  I am not bothered by it because by that time of early morning, I have wandered to the guest bedroom--where Jim joined me last night.  It was like the earlier days of our marriage pre-king-size bed. 

Our appliances are mostly just fine but the freezer is not large enough for what we purchase--which may be too much.  So Jim coped today by finishing off the old coffee ice cream so we could find room for a new container!  Ice cream for lunch!  

This is not an apartment problem, but a technology issue.  In order to get the Mets-Phillies game last night, we had to sign up for Apple Plus streaming.  It is free for three months and then not expensive.  But Jim put in his password instead of his Apple ID and there was no going back.  We watched the game on his phone for a short while and gave up.  The Phillies have more at stake and will be in the wild card games but our heart is with the Mets and they lost again last night.  We hope to watch ND vs. Ohio State on NBC tonight with no issues! 

One more item to note--my gardening is limited to my moonflowers which are doing well again this year.  I started them from seed in April and potted the only two that germinated in May after the danger of frost is over.  With a tomato cage as a trellis they have blossomed ourside our door--just one or two a night and then they are withered in the morning.  They have attracted the attention of neighbors--and maintenance too who ask about "Jack and the beanstalk." 

Today is a very rainy day and once again we were glad we chose a complex with garages attached to the units.  When we came home from the grocery store, we got a bit of exercise climbing those steps. But at least it was dry!  Jim's sister and brother-in-law will be visiting this week and I wonder what they will think of our apartment life.  We think Barclay Square was a good decision.

He's OK now but....

 Many years ago, Laura emailed me after a night in an Australian swamp "I'm OK now, Mom."  It was a memorable line after a terrible experience.

I've been thinking about that line today.  Yesterday Jim had a routine rheumatology appointment in which he had a high blood pressure reading.  He attributed that to his hurrying into the examination room from the car.  I said we could check it when we got home with a monitor I've had for a few years.  

When we checked at home, his reading was even higher--much higher.  After a few more tries with confirming readings, I asked him to cancel his golf date and call our doctors.  He did so and got an appointment for this morning with a nurse practitioner.  Little by little the reading went down but it was still definitely hypertension. 

Googling the numbers told us that one had to head to the ER immediately if it was 180/120.  It was not that high but the initial numbers were not far below that. 

Jim felt good about the nurse he saw this morning.  She prescribed a medication and asked him to monitor his blood pressure twice a day and then see her in two weeks.  She didn't want the drug to lower it too far!

We picked up the prescription and Jim took his first pill at noon.  Tonight at 9 pm we got out the monitor.  Sadly, the batteries were dead.  Happily, we had more in the closet.  The numbers tonight were great!  What a relief!  How wonderful to see that drugs work and work so well!  We are so relieved and grateful.

----------Two weeks follow-up--All good.  He needs to check b/p two or three times a week and see nurse again in three months.   

This is Enough

 

"This is Enough" has been my mantra lately.  When we were in St. Pete Beach last January, I sat on the deck looking out at the bay and told myself, "This is enough."  I didn't need to go on a long walk or a swim and we didn't have a car half of the time.  It was enough to look out at the beauty around me and meditate with thankfulness.

Laura writes about the value of setting 100 goals.  I don't have 100 goals.  I don't have a bucket list and this week I read a piece in the Washington Post in which someone's father set a "chuck-it list" instead of a "bucket list" and was relieved to do so.  There are no places I really want to see other than visiting our children and grandchildren in their homes.  I have no desire to travel overseas again or even to fly anywhere in the US.   We do plan to go to Florida again in January so we will endure Newark Airport one more time at least.

It makes me somewhat sad to think of all the times I explored NYC by myself--the adrenaline I felt stepping out of Penn Station into the crowds on the sidewalk.  Thanks to a few falls and other incidents, I would not dare do it alone again.  Jim and I might make a trip there together but we have no immediate plans. 

We are offering our bikes as a give-away to students coming into town.  I insisted on bringing them here when we moved but we have not used them and now I feel too uneasy about doing so--getting off and on and keeping my balance.  It's a regret but not a big loss!

"It is enough" to do the household chores, to do Spelling Bee and the NYT crossword puzzle daily with Jim, to watch the Mets or the Phillies from our couch, to find good books to read, to email friends and hear from them in response, to visit our children and grandchildren, and to blog when I am inspired to do so!

Married 56 Years and One Day

 

My sister was the first and only one to congratulate us on our 56 years of marriage.  She sent a lovely, warm text that we really appreciated.  I did not put any photos on Facebook so there were no reminders to our offspring or announcements to friends.

We celebrated in our own way and it made a bit of a story.  Over the last four years, we have often used On the Border as a place to celebrate--sometimes with takeout during pandemic years.  We celebrated good medical news, memorably the last radiation treatment Jim had as I recall. 

We are definitely the "old folks" in going to dinner early but we enjoy sitting in the bar and taking advantage of happy hour prices.  So last night we ordered our house margaritas.  Jim ordered a chicken queso from the regular menu and my usual taco order was no long available so I happily switched to quesadillas.

The waiter apologized when my drink came with salt when I had said "no salt."  I assured him it was not at all important.  Our food came promptly and was great. The quesadillas were even better than the usual tacos. 

When the waiter brought our check, he told us we were the easiest customers he had all night.  Maybe that is a line he uses for a better tip!  Later we noticed and pointed out to him that he had missed the drinks on our bill.  He said he had left them off on purpose. It came out even in a way because my quesadillas were not half price as listed on the happy hour menu.  

I hope Jim did leave him a generous tip!  (He said he did!) We were so satisfied with our drink and meal that we decided to postpone a planned ice cream cake purchase for another day--to extend our celebration.  

May we be blessed to celebrate more anniversaries together!  We are thankful for each one.

Why We Moved to New Jersey

 It was definitely a major change in our lives four years ago to sell a house, downsize our belongings, and move 700 miles away from South Bend, Indiana to Princeton, New Jersey.  It was not easy to find medical and dental care we liked, let alone a hair salon and a golf course.  And a place to worship.  We missed South Bend friends and our church in South Bend.   I missed the opportunities we had at Notre Dame for programs, art, and library resources.  At least Jim was able to continue to take advantage of ND library resources with document delivery of electronic materials.  

We moved here to be closer to family, our three children and their spouses and our eight grandchildren.  A few weeks ago we were able to see our ten year old grand-daughter in the role of the wicked witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz and what an evil witch she was with her terrible cackle!  Then last week we drove just one hour to Ocean Grove to enjoy a cookout with our daughter's family and then a second cookout just a ten minute drive away with our son's family to say good-bye to our grandson leaving for his second year of college.  

And yesterday it was another jaunt to Ocean Grove where our daughter was on her own with her five children with her husband having to work this week.  The nanny and her daughter were going to join them today.

Grandpa was instructed in various Kindle games and did his part in digging in the sand at the beach.  I resurrected the "name the baby" game we used six years ago at our 50th anniversary week and three of the older grandchildren gave it another try with lots of good guesses and plenty of wrong ones.  I was happy to have had time to have conversations with two of them when others were in the surf or on an ice cream trip.   And then it was just an hour's ride home and  we were able to sleep in our own beds.  

Patience!

 

I think it was late April when I ordered moonflower seeds from Amazon.  I soaked them for several days and then planted them in a pot inside the kitchen.  Only two seeds germinated.  When I knew any danger of frost was past, I planted the little seedlings outside. The vine grew well.  Our maintenance man asked if I was growing "Jack and the beanstalk." 

 A few days ago we saw a bud and this afternoon--before dark--the first moonflower bloomed.  There should be others but it may be a while.

And as always, we have to enjoy the lovely white blossom tonight because it will wither and die by morning.  I texted our downstairs neighbor to take a look before it disappears!  I will go downstairs later tonight to enjoy it by moonlight! 

Credit Card Fiasco

 I wondered why the clothes I ordered from Macy's a few weeks ago were not arriving.  There were four items at ridiculously low prices but with the Macy name, I thought it would be OK.  Then my AMEX bill arrived with the charge not from Macy's but from some place in Hong Kong.  That was bad enough but there was also another charge from some place in Colorado.  I disputed the charges on my AMEX account and they credited me for the Hong Kong charge but not for the other one.  They showed me the Colorado bill with my email on it.  A little research showed that the company sold tee-shirts with rude sayings.  When I tried to call and email them, my efforts would not go through.   I wonder if they really even exist. 

I felt I learned a lesson from the too-good-to-be-true items from Macy's.  That charge of $29 was refunded.  The other charge of $35 scared me because someone had both my email and my credit card number and what would be charged next to me?  It could be a lot more than $35!  So I froze the AMEX card--and then I cancelled it completely.  

Cancelling a card means that one needs to check the automatic monthly charges.  Two of ours were donations to Passport 13, our local PBS station, and Doctors without Borders.  I contacted both of them and changed the charges to another credit card.  Then there was my default card for Amazon which gets used a lot!  I cancelled my Kindle Unlimited account and changed the default card for my 99 cent Kindle purchases and I guess for the Amazon Prime charge when it comes due. 

So what else should I cancel?  I think I cancelled the Apple charge for extra storage--only 99 cents.  When I tried to cancel a Microsoft 365 charge, I was told I had to pay $1 for Tech support--which would be refunded or I could get support for $55 a year.  Forget it!  I was not going to give anyone else my credit card numbers.  When Microsoft finds out my AMEX card is no longer valid, they will cancel my account. I tried to let them know ahead of time.

I found this whole experience frightening--to know that someone has my information and is using it.  But the AMEX account is now closed and the Visa card we have is with a local bank so I feel more secure about that.  If that becomes a problem, Jim has another credit card we almost never use except for flights.  

We need credit cards in this era of ordering online and rarely using cash.  But there are dangers and they scare me.  I hope it is all settled now and there will be no more unusual activity on my cards.  

Watch Hill Chapel Adventure

 

Jim was invited to give a lecture at Watch Hill Chapel in Rhode Island.  It was part of a series called "Solving the Mysteries of the Scriptures" held over three consecutive weeks.  

We left home around 9 am Tuesday morning and arrived in Watch Hill around 1:30 pm.  The ride was mostly pleasant except for the congestion around the Bronx and the George Washington Bridge.  We found the chapel first and then found our accommodations at the Misquamicut Club which was a few miles away.  We were grateful for our Apple Map app which guided us through the resort area.

We made sure we were plenty in time for the 5:30 lecture lest the event organizers got concerned.  And actually because bad weather had cancelled so many flights, the contact person was a bit concerned because he was not aware that we were basically local--not in South Bend, Indiana any more. 

The lecture went well.  There was a good turnout in a lovely chapel setting.  Jim warmed up the crowd with his great story of grandson James making not a taco but a Dead Sea Scroll out of play dough many years ago--saying maybe the Scrolls had really taken over our life. A good laugh at the beginning bodes well for the rest of the lecture!  There were many questions in a lively give and take afterwards. One unusual and maybe rather bold question was how did the study of the Scrolls affect Jim's faith.  Jim said he appreciated the care early interpreters showed and how seriously they took Scripture and felt he was a part of that tradition. 

 Two trustees and their wives took us out for dinner at the historic Ocean House across the street from the chapel.  It was very pleasant looking out over the Atlantic where the sunset still reflected pink in the east.

We found our way back to the Club and had a quiet night there with plenty of breakfast options in the refrigerator across the hall in a little lounge.  

With the advice of our dinner hosts, we made better choices for a route home and crossed the beautiful Tappan Zee bridge and then headed south on 287.  It was much less congested and a far easier ride even if close to 20 miles longer.

A New Washer and Dryer

 

I'd say we have a new washer and dryer at no cost to us except we do pay a good amount each month in rent to Barclay Square Apartments also known as Apartments Seldom Scene.  Our new lease which began this month had just a $30 increase which is not bad at all.

Our dryer had been temperamental for months.  When we thought we should put a request for repair on the portal, it would work the next time I used it.  But then it began squeaking.  Not just a little squeak but a very loud persistent squeak.  Jim had enough of it with his study right next to the laundry room.  So he put our complaint on the portal.  

Within hours, Adriano was at our door.  He stopped the annoying squeak but said he wanted to get us a new dryer.  He said it was 20 years old and if it was repaired, it would just make trouble again.  It might take a few weeks, he said, but meanwhile it was usable and quiet.

However, Adriano and Don and Tony were here early this morning within a week and hauling out both our dryer and washer because they were all one unit.  This was not an easy job when it is necessary to go up and down a flight of steps.  So now we have a brand new washer and dryer--and I don't  even have a load of laundry to do.

There are many household chores that I postpone or do with reluctance but not the laundry.  It is so good to have a unit right in our apartment--and now one that is brand new.  I use my eco friendly detergent called Earth Breeze which eliminates plastic jugs from any need for recycling.  I guess it is just a feeling of accomplishment with very little effort. 

A Tale of Long Ago--our Cat

 

 A similar cat

Last night I had a dream in which I was supposed to record on an exam three types of cats.  Maybe some cat food ads triggered this dream; maybe a Facebook friend's photo of her cat.  I couldn't come up with the answer so I decided to fill in the space with my memories of our cat years ago.  When I woke up, I thought I could write about our only experience with a pet because it is quite a story. 

Jeff was four years old and very fearful of other people's pets.  We had an opportunity to get a kitten so we brought one home from a friend whose cat had a litter.  Jeff named him Grinto which was his misreading of the Spanish name for cat--Gato.  It worked!  Jeff immediately got over his fears and happily greeted a friend's very large wolfhound shortly after that.

Grinto was an indoor-outdoor cat.  He was quite territorial and there were fights in the yard.  He was also not very clever because when he saw that it was raining when he looked out the front door, he would try the back door for better weather!

Several years later we moved about a mile away to a larger house.  One day Jim and I went for a walk and Grinto followed us.  Suddenly he disappeared.  He was nowhere to be seen.  A few days later he showed up at our previous house. This meant he found his way back to his original territory--about a two mile distance! 

 We tried to get him to come home with us but it was like trapping a wild animal.  He would not get into our car and we couldn't catch him.  Fortunately our former neighbors were willing to feed him and keep him.  A few years later they moved but they tranquilized him and kept him inside. He managed to stay with them until he reached the end of his life.  I can't remember how he met his demise.

So that was our story of our only pet--with the exception of goldfish.  We realized that Grinto was not loyal to us, his family, but just to his own backyard.  

The CRC and the HSR

 

Calvin Seminary

Yesterday while walking along the canal, my friend Peggy told me that she had seen a news story in which a Christian Reformed pastor had walked out of  this year's Synod in protest over the Human Sexuality Report issues.  The Synod's reaction to the HSR is a story I have been following but when it becomes national news I am thinking it is worth recording in this blog.

Synod 2022 passed a resolution that made agreeing to the HSR a matter of confessional status.  That meant that to be a pastor or elder or deacon in the CRC one had to agree with a document that forbade marriage between gay individuals as well as engaging in sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman.  Years ago there was also a multi-year controversy over women in office, but it was settled by allowing individual churches to make decisions.  This issue was not settled in that way but instead was made "confessional." 

Over the past year many churches including our own former church in South Bend sent overtures to classes and then on to Synod to temper this ruling.  However Synod 2023 reaffirmed the decision of Synod 2022 but with just one hour left to meet did leave the decision of how to discipline those who disagreed for another time.  So as one person we know who is greatly affected by this decision (teaches in a church-owned facility) said the hammer did not come down yet.  

A young man named Ryan Struyk wrote a passionate piece a few weeks ago on the 12Blog which I read daily.   He wrote of being baptized and raised in the CRC and now feeling rejected by them.  Ryan is a producer for CNN and thus the connection to the national news.  His father David Struyk, a CRC pastor and participant in Synod, stood up after the vote and spoke saying that he was walking out of Synod in protest.  That was the video on the national news with Jake Tapper, a CNN host, commending his action on Father's Day.  

Our church in South Bend considers itself an "affirming" church and a welcoming church.  What will happen to it now is a question to be answered in the next year or so.  There will be many affirming churches and pastors and professors at Calvin College and probably Calvin Seminary.  What will happen to their jobs and for that matter, their pensions?  What will happen to all the CRC employees in missions or denominational agencies?  

We are no longer members of the CRC but I am sad to see this judgemental attitude become official.  I am sad to see that it may divide the denomination into groups or even a new denomination.  It is possible that the affirming churches may join another denomination like the RCA (Reformed Church of America) which has also split up over this controversy. 

----------Two weeks later--we know of two people who were employed by the CRC who have resigned their positions--in one case being unemployed, in the other taking a job that she is very happy to have.

A Second Indictment

Documents stored
in a Mar-a-Lago
bathroom

Last Thursday a grand jury in Florida indicted Donald Trump on 37 counts of keeping classifed documents, hiding them after a subpoena searching for them, lying about them, and showing them to others who did not have security clearance.  Trump will be arraigned in Miami tomorrow and is expected to plead "not guilty." 

 President Biden and the former vice-president Pence were also found to have  classified documents at their homes but they cooperated with officials and did not lie about their presence.  They are not being charged.  

Trump's valet, a Mr. Nauta, is also being charged for helping the former president move the document boxes around his home Mar-a-Lago and lying about his help.   Documents were found in a store room, a bathroom, a bedroom and a ballroom stage. Some were spilling out of boxes.  Some files labeled classified were empty.  

Crowds are expected at the courthouse tomorrow so security will be strong.  The former president is insulting Jack Smith, the special prosecuter,  (I won't even repeat his words!) and claiming it is a witch hunt.  I hope there will be no repeat of the violence of January 6.    

This makes two arraignments for Trump in recent months with the potential for at least two others in Georgia and Washington DC.  Those potential charges seem to me to be more serious--influencing an election and inciting violence--but some say this one is more likely to be provable.  Trump's attorney gave significant information which led to the charges.  A few attorneys have resigned from representing him. 

-------------It occurred to me that I could watch the arraignment live on TV right now--at 2 pm Tuesday.  But I have absolutely no desire to watch that event.  It will be bad enough to watch the highlights on the evening news.  It is just all so sad.  We pray for our country and for good leaders.  At least the debt ceiling crisis was averted and Congress was able to agree on that issue.  

Air Quality at Dangerous Levels

A few days ago we were reading about wildfires in Nova Scotia.  It didn't take long for us to smell those fires here in New Jersey--and then to observe the hazy conditions they created. 

Wednesday Jim had a golf date scheduled at a new course for him--Tamarack--in East Brunswick where a fellow he met at the Meadows Golf Course had scheduled a tee time for the two of them.  Tamarack is a bit north of here so even closer to the wildfires.  He texted me from the course saying that he was wearing a mask--not for Covid reasons but to prevent getting the smoke particles in his lungs.  In an unfamiliar course, it was even harder for him to see where that little golf ball landed. 

Our weather app listed the air quality on Wednesday as around 375 in Princeton.  It was far worse in New York City.  Outdoor events including Major League ball games were canceled.  Everyone was warned to stay inside and to check on elderly neighbors.  Once Jim came home, we did stay inside and we did not open the windows to let in cool air in the evening as we often do.

The air smelled like one giant campfire--reminiscent of roasting hotdogs or marshmallows.  Dan and Alex texted photos of their landscape with no Catskill mountains in sight.  

Yesterday the air seemed clearer.  I went for a short walk in the evening.  Today the air is fresh again and it is a relief. Dry conditions due to climate change make the danger of forest fires more likely.  So this may not be a once in a lifetime experience as it was for us up to this point.

A Paean of Praise for the Cloud

 

Potential IT Help

Ted told me that Chromebook saves everything on the cloud.  That is why I was able to access what I wanted on Jim's laptop when I didn't have one of my own.  And he was so right and I was so relieved! 

One afternoon I panicked thinking that all the photos of my childhood and our early marriage were lost because they were on my laptop.  I went to a Google grid in the top right corner and then to Google Photos and there they were--along with other stuff that I forgot I had saved--a NYC diary from 2008, a bit on dementia thinking about our aged mother and step-mother, a day by day account of our downsizing in our move, a few presentations I had done at church plus various other documents and even recipes.  Amazing!  

It is mind-boggling to me to think all my stuff is out there "on the cloud" and so is stuff from millions of others.  My mind cannot grasp the enormity of it all.

Now what I need to figure out is ChatGPT lest I am totally out of sync with what is going on in the world around me.  But that will be for another day.  Maybe I can get one of my children or grandchildren to give me a lesson.  I'm eager and ready to learn! 

Help! My laptop died!

 Last night my laptop went dark.  I plugged it in but it would not open up.  We made a couple of calls in the morning and Ted of Princeton Computer Repair Service just left with my laptop.  Apparently there is a home call option because he picked up my precious ASUS laptop and will get back to us in 24 hours.  $105.  It was worth every bit of it because I feel someone gave me advice and reassurance. I may need a new one which is fine.  It is as if a part of my body is missing.  And it is so confusing.  But I had the correct password for gmail and Google so that was good.  

As Ted said, it is all there on the cloud!   So I am using Jim's laptop and happy to have found my blog.  I guess my precious journals (therapy journal and spiritual journal) are not lost.  My therapist is still available to me!    

---------Ted texted to say that they are going to be able to "restore your Chromebook and not lose any of your browser bookmarks either."  He also asked if I wanted to have a tutoring session.  I told him OK.  At least he can help me change passwords and know what to do if it happens again.  It may be time for a new laptop which is fine.  

I now know that I can do my journals and this blog on Jim's computer.  I can access the library site.  I can shop with Amazon.  So that is all a relief.  Things are not lost.  

Restoring my bookmarks--that is great.  I feel as if I am lost in a neighborhood on another computer when I know my way around my own.  I can find photos and websites and so much is already password protected like doctor's portals.  I am aware of how often I aimlessly pick up my laptop or phone and look for contact with others via email or Facebook.  At least my phone was still available all day.  

I was upset last night and frustrated.  Tonight I am still a bit stressed but grateful to have found someone to help me solve this situation.  I hope my next update is an all clear and written from my own little Asus Chromebook. 

------------Ted just left.  After years of tutoring as an occupation, I was the tutee not the tutor.  I was intimidated not wanting to feel like a Luddite.  He gave me high fives several times and said that because I was quiet, he thought I was a "neophyte" but when I showed him my process for cleaning out my inbox, he was impressed and said I had used a good five clicks!  Sure.  My laptop is so familiar to me and it is so good to have it back.  The one change he made was to enlarge my cursor whiich is probably good. I decided not to switch to a mouse but just use my touch pad--and not make too many changes in my life!  I definitely learned how to preserve battery life in a way that I had not been doing.  Hooray for Princeeton Computer Repair and Tutoring and for Ted!  Now I need to write a good review for him online.  

---------the saga continues.  The laptop is dying again!  Ted has ordered a new battery-not expensive at all--and says there will be no charge to install it.  His first source for the battery was China with a two-three month wait.  His second try was a place that will deliver next week.  So that is the plan for now.  It is frustrating but I am telling myself it is a small issue compared to Covid or cancer or anything else health related.  Meanwhile I have learned to use Jim's laptop--which I am doing right now.  So I can blog, I can journal, I can find books to read.  And I have my phone for email and Facebook.  And if this doesn't work, I am going to get a new Chromebook and start over.  

--------and it continues on May 23.  I thought Ted ordered another battery; he thought I ordered it.  He sent me several links a bit ago and I was totally confused.  I am waiting to hear from him hoping he will order the right thing.  But this means I will not get my Chromebook back for another two weeks maybe.  Fortunately I am learning to use Jim's laptop and I just accessed my portal from Women's Healthcare of Princeton with a new password.   I feel frustrated and confused but this is not crucial to my life.  I am so glad I can use Jim's machine for my blog and my journals and most of what I want to access.  

---------and today's update on May 24.  I asked Ted via text if I should just buy a new Chromebook.  He thought that was for the best because there might be some other issue making my batteries die.  He sent me a link to an ASUS Chromebook on Amazon and I ordered it.  It should arrive on May 26.  He thought I would be OK setting it up.  We shall see!  I told him I would do a review for him on Yelp and so I did!  I hope the next update is from my own laptop!  

NYT on laptop again!

May 26  I am writing from my new ASUS Chromebook and I am very pleased!  All my bookmarks are there.  I can access everything.  It was tense while waiting for the applications to be downloaded but slowly on there was 1 out of 6, 3 out of 6 and then all of them.  Then the wifi was not working but it is stronger in Jim's study so that is where I am.  Then I needed a pass code for my hotmail but I have it--and had to find my password for Facebook but I found it.  I need to text Ted.  He will be pleased.  I wouldn't have asked him for help this weekend anyway because he mentioned more than once that the Indy500 was his priority for this weekend!  Hooray!