The End of the Month

 

For the last several years, Jim has done the financial recording for us.  I used to do the checkbook but I know he was correct in thinking he could do a better job of it.  I do my own credit card bill and I usually write out the checks for donations. 

I have felt concerned that if I needed to take over the finances I would not be prepared.  So I am in training this month.  I sat next to Jim and took notes as he went through his credit card account and today our checking account.  So much is automatically deposited and withdrawn but it all should be recorded and reconciled.  Jim gets occasional royalty checks which he deposits using his iphone.  And this month, we both, to our surprise, got some medicare reimbursements for our expensive dental work.  

Next month I said that I would go through the process myself and Jim can watch me and guide me.  It's not enough for me to watch and take notes.  I need to be hands on and do it myself.  I was impressed with the time it took this afternoon and the stops ands starts when one forgets to put in the decimal point on the calculator when adding or subtracting!  (Sorry, Jim!) I also appreciate more that I need to write my numbers with greater care in the checkbook.  At least Jim didn't catch me on any subtraction errors this time!  

So why was there a $50 plus discrepancy?  Oh, one of the checks we wrote out for our maintenance folks here as a Christmas gift never got cashed.  So...we were only 24 cents off.  Not worth trying to reconcile that!  Hooray!  

I feel much more secure in thinking that I can do the finances if I have to do so, but for the time being I am grateful that my husband is willing to do so.  And I am thankful for the years we worked and contributed to social security and my pension and Jim's retirement accounts.  Our financial advisor in South Bend kept telling us to spend our money and enjoy it.  We would assure him that we spent all that we wanted to spend. And now we are grateful that we can have enough to pay our New Jersey rent and utilities without worry. 

------------March 20, 2023  Today I did the Visa bill with Jim supervising.  There were a few spots where I was uneasy but maybe next month I can do it with confidence.  

Another Birthday

Our son Jeff was born 51 years ago today in St. Andrews, Scotland.  The birth of one's children is always memorable but having your first child in another country was even more the adventure.  

We arrived in St. Andrews when I was four months along in my pregnancy.  We were determined to find a doctor who delivered babies because we felt uneasy about having a midwife in charge.  When the time actually came, I was already hospitalized for pre-eclampsia and I forgot to call our doctor.  So a very competent midwife was in charge along with a pupil midwife to assist.  There were no fees under the National Health Service.

I went to pre-natal classes but they were for women only.  I had a book for Jim to read and I reminded him to make sure he read it before the time came! Jim was present throughout labor and delivery.  I was very unhappy that I was told to go to the hospital before my due date for enforced rest.  I spent two nights in a ward of several women in my condition--all from the fishing villages near St. Andrews.  I was so lonely because I could not understand the dialect.  Finally, I was bold enough to ask the other women to speak slowly and I would understand. 

Fortunately I went into labor after two days of "rest" and Jeff arrived in the early evening after a day of labor in a room in which you could see the sea in the distance.   Jim borrowed our landlady's car so he could be with me in the maternity hospital, a converted mansion once owned by a beer magnate.  Part of our story was that he forgot to turn on the lights heading home on the country roads that night. 

I spent the next week in another ward with another eight women plus their infants in cots at the food of the beds.  There was very little sleep as a result with babies crying at all times of day and night.  At first my blood pressure dipped dangerously low and I was a bit faint.  The nurses took Jeff away and I was distraught but they were concerned I would drop him!  I began nursing and it went well.  In fact, a group of pupil midwives came by and I was praised for my efforts because it was not a common practice at that time.  I remember one cleaning lady coming by and saying to me, "Is your wee bairn greetin' you?"  Context helped with the translation! 

By the time we were released from the hospital I was exhausted.  The first eight hours we were home Jim had to comfort either his crying wife or his crying baby.  Plus there was a coal miners' strike and intermittent power outages--three hours of electricity and then three hours of no power.  We were warm enough in our "garden apartment" below street level but it was very dark in February in the far north of Scotland.  

We had to get a passport photo of Jeff which was not easy because he had to be awake and have his eyes open.  Jim took the train to Edinburgh to fill out the forms but had the wrong papers so a few weeks later, I claimed the adventure and we were able to get Jeff added to my passport.  

We were pretty stressed about caring for a newborn and really did not feel like all was well until my parents came to visit when Jeff was about six weeks old.  They acted like it was perfectly normal that he cried with what was probably colic.  They walked with him and comforted him--and for that matter, comforted us too! 

 My step-mother commented how clever we were to give him a name using our initials--J and M--Jeffrey Mark.  That was totally an unconscious choice but it was a good one.  That reminds me of another story.  We could not decide on a name and the due date was very soon.  We told ourselves we would go for a walk and not come back until we made a decision.  As it was a very cold and windy St. Andrews day, we walked along the north beach and decided quite quickly! 

So now, 51 years later we have moved to the town where Jeff and his family live and we could celebrate his birthday in person with a meal in a very nice restaurant.  

A Birthday (and Valentine's Day)

 

Jim is 77 years old today.  With his birthday a day after Valentine's Day, the two celebrations tend to blend together.  So yesterday with his help, I made lasagna.  There is enough for at least three meals so we will enjoy lasagna again tonight.  As that is one of Jim's favorite meals if not his very favorite meal, it is a good way to celebrate.  

Plus we bought an ice cream cake which will be good for at least four nights so the festivities can continue all week!  

Right now he is commemorating his day in a way that he enjoys--playing golf.  It is an unseasonably warm day even if a bit windy.  I doubt he has played golf on his birthday many times over the years. He had a 12:50 tee time at "his course"--the Meadows in Plainsboro.  Last week he came home after nine holes.  If it is not too busy on this warm day, I assume he will play 18.  I think it is pretty good that he can enjoy a game of golf on his 77th birthday.  

The other day he pondered whether he would feel old on his 80th birthday, hoping that he makes it that far.  I said that then he would probably think of 90 as old.  Most of the time I don't think of myself as old but then I feel my back strain or the sore shoulder I have had the last two nights or the arthritic left hip that gives in at times and I remember my old bones and joints.  Jim is better about getting in several daily walks.  I need to do better and keep moving while I can.

My prayer is that we can continue to celebrate these birthdays in reasonably good health and celebrate them together.

A Week at Home

 

I have written about Jim's RH Charles volume arriving at our door when we returned home a week ago.  However, my published book arrived too--a few days later.  This would be my Blog2Print book, my yearly project for January in which my blogs of the previous year are gathered together and for about $40 or so. we have a record of our lives.  I am always gratified to see how much Jim enjoys looking over the book but I say it is because he is a very important person in it--and in fact I usually "dedicate" the book to my partner of 55 years.

We have no immediate plans to go anywhere for a while.  We went out to eat once this week to On the Border where we sit in the bar for happy hour rates and have margaritas that are just as good as those in St. Pete Beach--but the view is not as good! 

 The less pleasant part of getting home is that we both had medical and dental appointments this week which accumulate after the holidays and a two week trip away from home.  But all appointments were routine and there is no need for any follow up appointments for which we are grateful.

Today is Saturday and we definitely follow a Saturday routine.  We drive about four miles into Princeton and almost always have three stops to make.  One of us usually has a prescription to pick up at CVS.  Today's charge was $0 for what must be a common generic drug.  We do our weekly grocery shop at McCaffrey's which has become a very familiar place for us.  The big change is using the self checkout lanes which means we no longer have to wait in line for a clerk to be available.  We have had a few senior moments recently which I will record.  One week we forgot to pay for the 24 pack of water and noticed it at the bottom of our shopping cart when we got to the car.  We went back into the store to take care of that matter.  Another week we paid for the water and forgot to take it out of our shopping cart in the parking lot. We noticed our lapse when we were almost home and did not go back that time. Our third Saturday stop is usually the Princeton Library where Jim parks at the entrance and I go in to get my requested books or find a few other volumes.  I left today with four books and always wonder how many of them I will actually read.  We don't actually live within the borough of Princeton so I have to pay a senior fee of $75  which I consider money well spent.  

The rest of the day is spent on laundry and today, trying a new recipe for sweet potato shepherd's pie.  I do not enjoy cooking but I do enjoy eating so we shall see what we think of what should be a pretty healthy meal--and should be good for at least two meals.  Plus there are several college basketball games to watch and maybe some pro games.  I was very happy to hear from my sister who had surgery for a broken wrist on Thursday but is doing well except for trying to get along with a hand in a cast.  Putting in earrings?  Fixing meals?  Dressing in anything except large sweaters and sweat pants?  She has been through quite an ordeal (after a fall on ice) and it is not over with an uncomfortable cast for at least another two weeks.

Our time in St Pete Beach was a pleasant change of scenery--beautiful scenery- but we are thankful that we are happy with our lives and our routines here in Princeton and are glad to be home.