Wednesday, May 27, 2020

A Walk Not Spoiled (by 18 holes of golf!)

This afternoon Jim is out golfing.  He has had difficulty in getting tee-times  since the courses opened again two weeks ago.   Tee times are set every 16 minutes instead of every ten and allow only two golfers per slot.  So he is happy to be out there. (Jim just came home after 14 holes and said they are allowing four golfers to a slot now--another sign that things are opening up in New Jersey during this pandemic.)

I knew I needed to get some exercise too but was feeling lazy and didn't want to take our usual walk down to the towpath.  So I walked down Mapleton Road until I saw an opening through the trees and followed a path through the field to the familiar bench next to the towpath.  I called my friend Sue--and chatted until my phone was almost out of power.

 Instead of walking home via the towpath, I retraced my steps.  I walked along the "farm to table" garden of Eno Terra, a high class restaurant in Kingston.   I knew this land must have been part of the historic Mapleton Nursery when I saw the row of red maples and their entangled trunks.  I didn't see any bluebirds in the bird houses in the field but I heard lots of songbirds as I walked.

I scared a deer in the woods but he scared me too!

 It was a lovely walk but my Fitbit says it was only about 3200 steps. Not enough even if I am warm and sweaty and a bit weary. I can take another walk later--our daily walk to get the mail in the clubhouse--about 1600 steps.  My goal is 7000. 

Sunday, May 24, 2020

Feeling Useful

My friend Peggy, my walking partner, commented recently on how we all need to feel useful.  I know this is part of my melancholy lately--that it is hard to feel useful when one is so limited in this pandemic.  Plus living in a new place makes it hard to feel useful in the ways I did before--or when I was working.

In South Bend,  I was able to give to others through playing the organ.  I had really cut back on my playing but still played for special services and the 5th Sunday in the month.   I liked choosing music that was appropriate for the service and I knew it was appreciated.  Now, I can't even give to others by singing in the church choir and when we are back to normal, I may still hesitate to sing in an enclosed choir room--a known place for super infectors.

Because we knew everyone in our South Bend church, we were aware of others' joys and sorrows and could pass on and act on our concern.   I didn't bring meals or host large gatherings any more but could often find other ways of caring.   I can still send emails back to South Bend and have sent a few along here in Princeton but our circle of friends and acquaintances is greatly limited.

I have told myself that it is enough to do the essentials of laundry and meal planning and preparation.  Life is down to the basics these days. Yesterday's ordering of a take-out family meal of fajitas from On the Border was a highlight of the day-and we have two more meals out of one order left.

 I have emailed a few people in the last week to express my thanks for their contribution to my stay at home life.  I don't publicize this blog but know there are a few readers who enjoy it.  I do feel some sense of accomplishment when I write my musings.   At least it helps me organize my thoughts out of confusion and chaos and try to be positive and thankful.

Ruth in Laura's ribbon dress
We are heading to Laura's home in a few hours.  We opted to postpone our usual Saturday trip to the grocery store until Monday lest we pick up the virus just before heading to her family.  We can't and shouldn't go to Jeff's tomorrow or Monday lest we pick up something at Laura's and pass it on.   We don't stay home all the time but we do keep in mind social distancing.   Because the result is a pretty serious illness and we are all at risk.  We need to stay out of the hsoptial and off those scary ventilators.

--------------------------May 24  Sunday


Looking over the last few blogs, there is definitely a theme running through them of coping or not coping all that well with this time of pandemic and social distancing.   But last night, driving home from Laura's I felt some sense of peace--a moment to be treasured.  We had beautiful scared music ("With Heart and Voice") on my iphone and we were happy to have been with Laura's family.   Ruth who is a very loving child was wearing the ribbon dress I had saved from Laura's childhood.  I was touched that she wanted to do that for us.  Plus we were full from steaks that Michael had grilled and sides that Laura had prepared and a DQ ice cream cake that I bought to celebrate Jasper's birthday belatedly.  Little Henry is definitely the "family baby" that Laura hoped he would be.  The others all love to get in his face and get his big smiles in return.   Grandpa and I did too! 

Monday, May 18, 2020

A Trip to the Catskills

On Saturday we made our weekly run to McCaffrey's for groceries, unpacked them, and began our day trip to see Dan and Alexandra at their new home in the Catskills.   It was about a three hour trip heading up Route One and then the Garden State Parkway and I-87.  With about 30 miles to go of the 180 mile trip, we left the main highways.  We drove through Potter Hollow, a strip of houses right on the road, some of them derelict, and then turned off to Engle Road.  At that point, I was hoping we were following our Apple Maps correctly as the one lane road headed up and down the hill. At least it was paved although it was dirt beyond their place.  But...there was Dan sitting in his rocking chair on the porch, waving at us.

And there were the alpacas grazing across the street.   I keep thinking about the Wizard of Oz and how "We're not in Kansas anymore."  Well, Dan and Alex are not in Brooklyn any more--what a contrast.  I think two cars went down the road during our time with them--and Alex gave each one of them a friendly wave!   What a contrast to Flatbush Avenue and its emergency vehicles heading to the Brooklyn Hospital with sirens sounding.

Dan and Alex said that if they were going to leave the city, they wanted a big change, not just the suburbs.  This was a big change!  We could hear a rippling brook in the distance.   I got a whiff of llama every once in a while.   We saw goldfinches and hummingbirds visiting their new birdfeeder.  It was lovely and peaceful.

We spent a few hours drinking wine sitting on their porch.  The cabin dates to the 1890s and looks pretty rustic on the outside but is very lovely inside with nice furnishings, rugs and artwork. Their wifi is good so they can both work offsite for now; they didn't seem at all eager to get back to the city with its crowded elevators, communal laundries,  and busy sidewalks.

We wanted to get home before dark so we left a bit before five.   We stopped at a service area with a MacDonald's where social distancing was in effect. The bathroom sinks were set so you were six feet separated from your neighbor.  We were able to get a supper as long as we did take-out--and it was a feast of burgers and shakes.   There was some light left in the sky when we got home.  We were so glad we can now picture Dan and Alex in their surroundings.  They had showed us around via Zoom and Facetime but the real thing was lovelier. 

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Mother's Day

I can't complain about celebrating Mother's Day during a pandemic because I really was able to celebrate it more this year than most other years in recent memory.  Yesterday we drove to Gladwyne, Pennsylvania to be with Laura's family for a few hours.  It was a feeling of freedom to drive down Route One and the Pennsylvania Turnpike--going farther from home than the grocery store!  We wore our masks much of the time and didn't do any hugging although we both held the baby for a while.

Laura served us a lovely cheese plate and a glass of wine and we enjoyed chatting with her and Michael and seeing five grandchildren ranging in ages from 4 months to almost 13.  Jim commented on how well they all seemed to be doing in spite of weeks of social isolation.   I guess I didn't expect any different but it is true that it is a long time to be at home and they all seemed in good spirits.   Baby Henry had such skinny little legs and arms when a newborn and now he is so beautifully chubby.   He smiles easily and makes lots of baby sounds and it is so good to be able to see him in person--even though we love the videos.

 Then today at Dan's request, we did a family Zoom hosted by Jeff.   Dan and Alex showed off their cabin (a six month lease) in the Catskills including the hummingbird feeder they are setting up and the alpacas next door.   They are very rural and really enjoying being out of New York City during this time of quarantine.   We hope to drive up to see them next weekend.

After our Zoom get-together, we drove to Jeff and Susan's for a cookout to celebrate Katie's Duke graduation.  Our plans for this weekend were to stay at a Doubletree near the RDU airport and attend the graduation but it was postponed; Katie has been home since Spring break.  Her belongings are still in her dorm room at Duke.   Susan had made one of her beautiful cakes and had the house decorated with blue and white Duke colors.   It was very nice but not the end to her college career that Katie would have wanted.  She will be at Princeton for the next several years doing a PhD in engineering so we will hope to be at her next graduation.

I am so thankful to have had three children especially because we began to think we would have just one as wonderful as he was!   And now our three children have wonderful spouses or partners--and there are eight grandchildren.   It is an amazing blessing.

 I often thought that I was not a super-Mom as a couple of my friends were who seemed to revel in every minute of parenthood.    I loved my children dearly but I was not always that good at playing with them or giving them total attention. I prized my solitude and used to think it would be the curse of my old age to have lots of solitude. (I do feel lonely at times but by no means cursed with solitude.)    I think I did find opportunities for my children to do enriching things and I encouraged their independence.  I am proud of each one of them and enjoy them greatly as adults.

I did have the sobering thought today however that I doubt we will make it to little Henry's college graduation--at age 96!  And if we do live that long, we will probably not be strong enough to travel.   My own mother never even lived long enough to meet any of her grandchildren.   My dad's second marriage gave our children a wonderful grandmother however.

 I have celebrated Mother's Day well and am very thankful for my children, my grandchildren, and their father and grandfather.  It was a good day.

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