What Will Happen Next?

 The events of the last week or so have been very consequential and I want to record them but am not sure where to start.  

Saturday night June 21 US bombers left Missouri and dropped large bombs on sites in Iran where uranium was being stored in bunkers and possibly being prepared to make nuclear weapons.  President Trump praised the brave military personnel and said that Iran’s sites were “obliterated.”  And that particular word is important because some say that the uranium was moved ahead of time and that there was damage but the process may have been delayed by a matter of months not obliterated. 

The first question was how would Iran respond and would this all escalate into a Middle East war?  Iran gave notice that they would bomb a US military site in Qatar so that there were no lives lost.  President Trump thanked them for their limited response and said it was time for peace.

We breathed a sigh of some relief.  But it is not over.  There are some defending Trump’s bombing a country that had not actually instigated any damage to the US—even though there were long standing cheers of “Death to the US” and “Death to Israel.”  Others are wondering how a president who said he would not get involved in any wars as he campaigned found it necessary to bomb Iran at this time. 

I find myself being thankful there is no draft and our grandsons are not in danger of being called into war.  I pray for peace nightly but the world situation is precarious and I fear that our leaders are impulsive.  Loyalty to Trump is the prime prerequisite for jobs in the Cabinet and even in spite of the praise Hegseth (Defense) and Gabbard (Intelligence) pour on Trump, their jobs may be in jeopardy.  The pundits tonight  on Washington Week (our Friday night staple) praised the measured response of the Chief of Staff Caine in contrast.  

I also want to comment on how ashamed I am of our country’s treatment of immigrants.  Stories come out daily of ICE personnel in masks arresting undocumented immigrants who are not criminals and putting them in detention.  A nursing mother is taken from her three month old baby, a pregnant woman gives birth to a stillborn child after being held on a cement floor and then chained to her hospital bed, a child with leukemia is taken without parents.  How can we permit such cruelty?  ICE has its quotas.  Farmers are having a hard time getting in their crops without their workers.  

Last week Saturday there were protests across our country with millions marching under the theme of No King! The latest polls show Trump’s approval ratings are “underwater” in other words below 50 %.  Maybe there will be changes.  I pray for Trump’s change of heart nightly—a heart that can find some compassion and not his calls for revenge and retribution.  I try not to despair when I think that we have 3 1/2 more years of his presidency left.  

July 2 Congress may pass Trump’s “big beautiful bill” this week that extends tax breaks for the wealthy in our country and cuts back Medicaid and SNAP programs for those who live close or in poverty.  It is so evil.  The ironic thing is that now Trump and Musk are feuding with Musk saying he will finance anyone who runs against those who vote for this bill.  A few weeks ago they were bros!  I wrote my representatives in Congress but the NJ folks are good people who would vote against this—Democrats!  Not Republicans who are bullied by Trump.  

July 4 Trump signed his bill today and I am having a hard time celebrating America today!  It won’t hurt us personally but it will hurt so many who need help with medical care and food.   Plus all those who fear ICE and detention—in his Alligator Alcatraz which his press secretary boasts will be a natural deterrent from escape.  There is so much cruelty in this administration and sadly the evangelical Christians who supported this man.  

Our Daily Spelling Bee

 Every morning, we open the NYT games site on our respective iPhones and do Spelling Bee.  Jim is kind enough to stop finding words at whatever point I stop.  He is definitely better at this game than I am and apart from seeing more words, he is better at finding the pangram—the word that uses all seven letters of the grid.  Today’s pangram was “hickory.”  Exactly seven letters. Sometimes the words are longer with duplicate letters.

Today I was amused to see the record the NYT has kept of our playing this game.  We have done 694 puzzles in which we achieved “Queen Bee” only 87 times—finding all possible words.  We almost always play until we reach “Genius” which is a percentage of possible answers.  We do what we can without hints but almost always go to the table of hints that gives us the first two letters of words and tells how many words there are with those initial two letters.

Is this a waste of time?  Probably, but we have time to waste in our retirement and it is a challenge for us.  I look forward to opening that game each morning, usually while drinking my coffee.  It is an activity that we do together.  We do learn new words sometimes of very little value however.  “Nene” is a bird; ”philhellenic”  is just esoteric.  We have learned to look out for three ways to spell one’s mother (momma, mama, and mamma) and to remember the often present “açaí” and if that is there, look our for “acacia” too.  

Jeff pointed out that the NYT just began keeping track of puzzles 694 puzzles ago.  I thought we had probably done far more because we have been enjoying them for several years. 

There is an active group on Facebook that complains often about the editor’s choices of words.  I posted once on that site when our local Dollar Tree had quite the display of bee-themed merchandise.  I didn’t buy anything but I had a lot of  “likes” on Facebook from the “Hive.” 

A Diamond and a Celebration

 

We were asked to save the date so we knew something good was going to happen.  But we didn’t know any details. 

There were 13 of us at dinner—hosted by Eli at Roots Ocean Prime in Princeton—adjacent to the Princeton University campus.  Eli included parents, siblings, Jim and me and Grandma from NYC.  We had a delicious dinner and got to admire the sparkling diamond on Katie’s hand.  The proposal took place at Plainsboro Preserve, a place that we have walked many times too.  

Now they will be off to Winston-Salem where Katie will be an assistant professor of teaching at Wake Forest University.  The wedding may be in the summer of 2026–a long time off!  

We are very happy for this wonderful couple—and they are very happy too!

June 9. A postscript:  Rogers (sitting between Jim and me) has tested positive for Covid!  We ordered up to date tests from Amazon—the ones in the closet were badly outdated—and they have already arrived.  Now we hope to be symptom free and disease free—ten days incubation period we read.  

June 15. 

After feeling like I was fighting a cold, with Jim’s help and the video of instruction, I did a Covid test and with the great drama of waiting 15 minutes, it was negative!  Hooray!  It’s strange how uneasy knowing that you have been exposed to someone who tested positive and waiting to see if you too are infected.  But so far we are OK!  Off to Jeff and Susan’s this afternoon to celebrate Father’s Day!

No WiFi

 Yesterday our Wi-Fi went out at about 4 PM and with some difficulty we connected with the Xfinity app and they kept postponing the time that it would be reconnected. Eventually it was connected at about 4 AM but I am still having trouble accessing things on my iPad, so I am writing this blog on my phone.

It was really enlightening to realize how much we depended on our Wi-Fi. We missed doing the New York Times puzzle together during our happy hour we could not watch any sports and at 10 PM Jim had to check the Mets score on his phone.

I found a book to read or to reread, and I think Jim was reading too, but we certainly did miss our Wi-Fi.

———Hours later—It wasn’t the end of the story.  Xfinity said it was connected but our devices said there was no internet.  Jim communicated with Xfinity via the app and they reset the Gateway device and it appears to be working—knock on wood!  

I’m Ready to Get my Life Back!

 

My “support person” and “coach” who has been 
Wonderful through this whole process!

I called United Health Care this morning and learned that I have unlimited physical therapy appointments available with a $25 copay.  So that will not be a reason to end PT!  But I felt yesterday that I was able to do almost everything at home without having to go in to the busy site two or three times a week.  So tomorrow I will talk to Jennifer about a plan going forward.  My suggestion will be to check in once a week for a while and I will see what she has to say.

Plus I am counting down the number of pills I have to take daily.  There are five days worth left of the anti-inflammation pill.  There are about the same of the 81 mg aspirin for clot prevention.   I have cut back on Tylenol taking two at night only instead of the nine originally recommended. So I have felt free to have a small glass of wine again with supper or happy hour.  

I am walking with the walker in the house but beginning to walk without it.  I have figured out how to avoid the early morning deep pain in my hip by getting out of bed and walking around a few times during the night—a few trips to the bathroom or kitchen has been enough for the last three mornings.  May it continue!  I had to figure that out on my own—when the PA offered another opioid (which I have successfully avoided!) and PT agreed that I needed to cut back on the exercise when it was making things worse.

My life has been consumed with this surgery since March 3 when I asked Dr. Delacruz what to do and he sent me for the x-rays which were diagnosed as “severe arthritis in left hip.”  I am eager for a more normal life!

May 29. Jennifer thought once a week check-in would be great for PT so that is what I will do from now on.  Progress!  

May 30. And more progress!  We went to Target together and got all our favorite Target bargains.  It was no harder than usual pushing a shopping cart.  I was glad to be home again but I always am after a big shopping trip.  And it was one more big step towards our normal lives.  

May 31 And another step forward.  I shopped at McCaffrey’s with Jim today—our regular Saturday shopping trip and I did it.  Always happy to be back in car sitting down again but we did it together.  Not sending Jim alone.  Hooray!

June 3. No more morning and evening drugs to take and record.  Progress!  Jim says I am “bustling about in the kitchen” more—not a lot but taking charge of meals more.  

June 12. It has been six weeks since surgery so I no longer have to sleep on my back which I did not do or keep a pillow between my legs if I sleep on my side.  I substituted a rolled up blanket but will be so glad not to do that any more either—always readjusting it if I turned over.

  The bad part about no more drugs (including Celebrex) is that my right hip started hurting and I can’t bear the thought of another surgery.  I am taking two Aleve a day and hope that helps.  I fell two days ago again—for no good reason which also concerns me.  I was plugging in my phone and found myself on the floor.  With difficulty Jim got me sitting in a chair and then up and around again.  I need to do those chair exercises and strengthen my legs! 

July 4 I have celecoxib to take once a day and I was cautiously optimistic for three days and now not so much again.  I dread the idea of another surgery but that may be the answer.  No decision needs to be made tonight!  

Dr. Katie Vanderkam

 We celebrated Katie’s graduation with a cookout at Jeff and Susan’s place today.  There were more than 20 of us with all of the VK family, Susan’s dad and sister, and good friends Michael and Roxanne and their children.  And Katie’s partner Eli and Michael’s friend Allie were there too.  It was so nice that Dan and Alex and all seven of the Conways made the effort to come to honor Katie.

Susan made one of her beautiful cakes and Jeff fixed chicken, burgers, and brats.  We contributed deviled eggs (Jim and I boiled and peeled 8 eggs) and some beer.  There was room for all of us on their spacious deck.  

We watched the hooding ceremony from our own living room.  That was far easier for me than parking a car and walking a long way.  Closer to bathrooms too!  We were thrilled to hear Katie’s name and see her honored.  

Then last night Jeff and Susan treated 12 of us to dinner at Metro North.  It meant a bit of a wait but Susan asked for a chair for me—as always, taking care of us!  I had the idea of toasting Jeff and Susan so Jeff quieted everyone down enough for my “speech.”  And I did it—and was happy to do it in front of their children, Eli’s parents, and Charles and Leigh.  I think it went over just fine!  

Three Princeton PhDs

26 years ago!

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Three Weeks Post-Surgery

 

After four weeks of abstinence!

Today is a milestone of sorts.  It has been three weeks since my hip replacement surgery and I am glad these three weeks are over.  I had another PT session with Jennifer at the outpatient site today and have three more scheduled for next week.  I may have to call United Health Care to see how many more they will pay for.  

Jennifer is so glad I had the surgery.  She remembers me being in more pain than I remember.  I do know that I could not even get my left foot into the pedal on the bicycle and now I have cycled for five minutes and the five minutes did not seem endless.  She stressed that recovery is a process and is not to be hurried.  She says my gait is so much better with the walker and it is best to continue to use it for now.  The pain I had in the early mornings was probably a result of doing too many exercises.  The best exercise is walking she said and I hope to take the walker outside again—if it ever stops raining.

I am learning that one gets mixed advice.  Shilpa said to put away the walker and the cane and get back to normalcy.  Jennifer says not to rush the process.  Monica said do not use the heating pad for relief of pain.  Jennifer says at this point, whatever helps is fine—and the cool pack was just too cold in the early morning hours.  It is a relief not to have to wear the compression stockings and to use the Spirometer several times a day.  I think I am past the concern for clots and pneumonia and infection.  

I have a three month appointment with Dr. Culp on July 14.  I have about ten days left of the many drugs I was assigned and will be very glad not to have to be checking them off every morning and evening.  I have not needed the OxyContin or at least I resisted taking it.  I have cut back on the Tylenol and thus have felt freer to have a small glass of wine with supper the last few nights.  I hate to think of all the medications my body has had to tolerate.

I am supposed to sleep with a pillow between my legs for six weeks.  We have substituted a rolled up blanket which is not as thick.  I find this uncomfortable and will be glad to have the freedom to sleep in whatever pose feels right at night—or in the wee hours of the morning.  

Jim has helped me with dressing—particularly getting socks on—and has helped me get in and out of the shower.  I have not needed the shower seat and will return that to Jeff and Susan.  Jim continues to help with household tasks and has taken the lead in many of them.  

I have been grateful for Jim’s kind and patient help.  I have been grateful for friends who have expressed concern and brought food and flowers.  I feel more a part of our church as staff and friends there have been in touch.  Dr. Culp said a full recovery would take three months and when I feel a bit discouraged, I have to remember I have made a lot of progress. 

We have several celebrations to enjoy next week with Katie’s graduation from Princeton with her PhD.  I have said on campus events may be too much for met yet but we will happily participate in a cookout and a restaurant dinner.  

May 24. Another major milestone.  I went grocery shopping with Jim today at Trader Joe’s and did well.  It was no more overwhelming than it usually is and we left with almost $150 worth of our bargains and favorite TJ items—coffee, almond coffee cake, a few new frozen items, not a lot of wine with my post-surgical abstinence, graduation cards, gluten free muffins to host the Moorheads for coffee, cheeses, etc. 

A note on the big margarita!  I had ordered a smaller one and the waiter said he would just charge us for that.  So I had to resist drinking the whole thing and I did.  The waiter asked if we wanted a to go cup.  I was amazed that was possible and so agreed to it!  It did not taste as good the next night!

May 27. I went to PT today and felt like it is time to quit that too.  Jennifer has so many clients at the same time.  I think I could do my exercises at home just fine except for the bike.  I will call United Health Care to see how many they are willing to pay for and that may give me a quitting motivation. 

Plus, through trial and error, I think I have found the answer to my early morning pain.  Two nights ago I made a few trips to the bathroom and the kitchen, and had no pain in the morning.  So last night, I I intentionally made a few outings from the bedroom and again, had no pain this morning.  If that is all it takes, I can do that.  I am restless enough at night.  I went right back to sleep each time.  And it was such a relief not to call Jim for the cool pack and to take more Tylenol.  Maybe I am getting ready for life post-surgery more and more!