Monday, November 19, 2018

The Cataract Saga, Part III and Not the Conclusion I Hope!

It has been over two months now since the first aborted surgery and almost six weeks since the last one on the left eye.  I am discouraged and hope that my vision will improve.  It is not as it should be and I find myself wishing I had never gone through with the surgeries.  I was told they were ready to be treated and I thought I would do it before they got too bad and while we were living here with familiar doctors.  It's done and it can't be undone!

I have lost count of how many times I have seen either the optometrists or the surgeon. We have tried steroid drops, prescription artificial tears, over the counter artificial tears, and drops and ointment for cornea swelling.  The last laser procedure (capsulotomy) to clear a film from the left eye has made no difference in my vision (20/80)  or the glare from lights at night.  I am going to cancel the same procedure for the right eye scheduled for next week.  What's the point in doing it?  That eye has good enough vision although the glare is bad for both.  Maybe later.

For about two and a half weeks I felt driving was unsafe for me.  I am okay with driving again.  The left eye may not be better but the right eye could be taking over--as Jim's does.  I can read with my $10 reading glasses--even early in the morning which I could not do a few weeks ago.  The worst of it is the radiating glare with both eyes--like a thousand rays in a little kid's drawing of the sun--off any lights at night.  I just want to close my eyes to get rid of the confusion.

After we left church last week, I said to Jim,"My left eye is not right."  At that point we both started laughing.   He said that comment ranked with the one I made years ago at the Queen's View in the highlands of Scotland, "The view will be mist."  But I sure would like to see my left eye get more "right!"

Once again patience is needed!  I wish I could know that in two months it would be better.  But I don't know that.  The surgeon is not communicative.  The optometrists are far more receptive to questions and concerns.  Maybe another lasik procedure after six months could correct the vision in the left eye.  I'm not sure I want it to be touched again.  At least that can be done in the doctor's office.  Or maybe I'll wear glasses again.  I don't know what can correct the glare however.

I think of a friend who is waiting for inflammation to recede after radiation with the goal of having surgery to remove a tumor.  I think of another friend of my sister's who is waiting for doctors to decide what can be done for her cancer and whatever it is it won't be a cure but just prolong her life.  I think of another young friend waiting with Hospice care after a four year battle with cancer.

I can function with my eyes like this.  I don't like it but it is not threatening my life or my health or for the most part my daily activities.  I like not wearing glasses although I do feel the need to learn to use eye makeup safely to cover those wrinkles and bags under my eyes--no longer hidden!

And as always, writing about it is my therapy.  I have a few regular readers and they already know most of this saga.  But I write for myself and for my annual  Blog2Print books--records of my life in print and this has been a very big part of my life in 2018.


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