A Plan

 

This morning, Jim and I saw Dr. Culp, the orthopedic surgeon who did my left hip replacement surgery on May 1 and we scheduled the right hip replacement surgery for January 29, the first time he had open. 

Jim had suggested we write out my concerns for Dr. Culp and print it up.  We did so and handed it to him to read.  He answered all my questions and did not seem offended by them.  It was good to have some of the processes clarified.  For example, glucose goes up because they give you an IV dextrose solution as a matter of course.  So they need to check glucose regularly after surgery.  That was a matter of routine. The urinary retention is a side effect of spinal anaesthetic and he could specify doing fewer bladder scans.  But at least I will know why they are doing them and can question so many next time.  

My memory of what happened in surgery is selective, he said, because of the drugs given that cause amnesia.  I find that disturbing. He said they could cut back on them but I wouldn’t want to wake up during surgery and hear a saw buzz. No, that is true.  But I don’t like the thought of possible bad things happening and I have no memory of them.  Another option is more sedation  He would make a note of it for the anaesthesiologist and I guess I could ask those questions too when I have Pre-Admission Testing or see the anaesthesiologist in the pre-surgery room. He assured me there were people in the operating room with me even if I saw no one or remembered seeing no one.   He did say I would not need the extensive heart testing again.  

I wish I did not have to go through this again.  I wish I did not have to dread it again.  But I want relief from my daily pain and lack of mobility.  I would like to walk without a walker or cane again.  I’d like to walk greater distances.  So I shall just have to find some courage and hope that “the year of the hip” is over by March 3, 2026, one year after the initial x-ray that said “severe osteoarthritis.”  

Christmas Shopping

 

I have been unhappy with folks who post on Facebook or elsewhere that their Christmas shopping is all done well before Christmas.  Shopping for those I love always causes me stress because I want to give them all the perfect gifts and I don’t know what those should be.  I have lead adult church school classes three times over the last many years on Simplifying Christmas.  I know my dear daughter takes another attitude about this and was always concerned that we would simplify too much!

But…this year I have started shopping before Thanksgiving and I have a plan for the rest of my shopping.  Jim has suggested gift certificates for years and this year I think that along with the usual chocolate letters we will give the grandchildren cash.  Two of them will get Skittles instead due to allergies and preferences.  A highlight for me last year was little Henry unwrapping his chocolate letter and with sheer delight saying, “It’s the first letter of my name!”  Laura’s comment was,  “That’s why we send him to that expensive preschool!”  So what about the adults?  Because some of them may read this blog, I will keep that a secret for now.  And our oldest granddaughter and her fiancée?  I think they qualify for chocolate letters and the adult gift.

I can do all the needed purchases online and I have already purchased the gift bags for the adults at Michael’s.    This may all prove to be a very needed process if I schedule my second hip replacement surgery yet before Christmas.  

I will not brag on Facebook however.  And now the next big question.  Do we buy almond paste and make banket again?  Every year I say this is the last time we will do this and then I remember how much people enjoy our special Dutch treat and we do it again.  I might still have a pound of almond paste in the freezer from last year.  Stay tuned.  No decision on that needs to be made today.    

In Praise of My Husband after 58 Years of Marriage

 Who is my first blog reader?  It is the man to whom I have been married for over 58 years.  And my editor who corrects my errors and typos.  

This morning we made our weekly grocery shopping trip together after a Starbucks coffee treat and I told him I did not take these outings for granted. In fact, I emailed our grand-daughter and her fiancée and said I hoped they could be doing the same thing in 50 years. 

The “year of the hip” has made some changes in our relationship.  I had assured a social worker who called before my hip replacement surgery last May that my 79 year old husband was capable of being a support person.  He has filled that role magnificently.  A change that has taken place is that he takes charge of more things.  He will ask me if we have set a timer when we put things in the oven.  He will take things out of the washer and put them in the dryer without my asking him to do so.  He helps me put socks and shoes on my right foot.  I don’t have the mobility to be able to do that without pain.  

Sadly, too he has been my “therapist.”  He is encouraging me to keep my “eyes on the prize” of getting past another dreaded surgery and having an easier time walking and doing the ordinary tasks of life.  When I worried about my upcoming appointment with the surgeon and my concerns, he suggested we write things down in preparation.  And I know he will go with me to the appointment. And then there is the joy of the activities we do together each day—the NYT Spelling Bee and a daily crossword puzzle.  

One member of our small group at church mentioned this week that one of her major roles in life was “widow.”  I can so understand her sharing that because I worry about having to take over all the things Jim does with our finances and our car and our transportation.  I hope he outlives me but I know we will have no choice in this matter and I just need to be grateful for each day we have together.  

Hooray!

This post is TMI—too much information for my few readers, but it is a recording of what is important in my life right now! 

I kept postponing a six month glucose check hoping I would lose some weight.  But instead of losing weight I gained five pounds.  I googled first line of treatment for diabetes and decided it was not too threatening and if I had diabetes, I better not ignore it.  I told myself I would get through this hurdle and then decide about another hip surgery.  So yesterday (Friday) I fasted and saw Dr. Delacruz and had blood drawn at my primary care providers.  The aide said she would call me on Monday with the results.  We broke my fast by going to IHOP.  I was thinking it would be my last high carbs and sugar meal for a long time! And it tasted so good!

Much to my surprise, Jill from Montgomery Internal Medicine called already this morning and said my blood sugar was down a bit and I could have it checked again in a year.  Always before they had stipulated six months.  All the other tests (cholesterol, iron, etc.) were normal. I am so surprised and relieved. And I am feeling so thankful.  

So now I need to call to make an appointment for my right hip replacement surgery.  I dread it as I did the first time—maybe even more.  Dr. Delacruz really encouraged me to do it—saying life is short and you need to make it better.  He said I would not need to do another nuclear stress test—but that was only one of my many concerns and fears for surgery. 

A motivating factor for me is the reopening of the Princeton Art Museum and knowing there is no way I can walk from any parking lot to the museum and then enjoy a leisurely stroll through the exhibits.  That may seem like a strange motivation but it has been something I have been looking forward to in the five years that it has been closed.  And it is a significant sign to me of the limits imposed on my life right now.  

So Monday morning I will make myself call Dr. Culp and get the process started again.  I have to have courage. “What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in thee.”  That is a text from my youth that comes back to me now.  Jim has called it the “year of the hip” and I am thinking that by March 3, 2026, it will be a year from the x-ray that said “serious osteoarthritis.”  That started the process for the left hip. Maybe by March 2026  I could be walking without a cane or walker and without pain.  And then the next year will not have to be “the year of the hip” again!  

————-November 10. It took an effort for me to get out of bed this morning knowing that I said I would call Dr. Culp and start the process for another surgery.  But I did it.  I ate my muesli, did Spelling Bee with Jim, and picked up my phone—and made an appointment for November 24.  I assume he will be scheduling surgery a few weeks after that so I have lots of time—too much—to think about it and back out.  But I have made a decision and hope by the new year I will be walking without a cane or walker and without pain.  

In Praise of Small Groups

 

When we joined Nassau Presbyterian Church, we knew we would have to put out some effort to get to know our fellow worshippers.  We joined a small group—particularly looking for one with young people in it.  We really liked that group—We met for six weeks during Lent at the home of two young men. Then Covid hit and the next time we did the group by Zoom. That was a bit awkward at times—with one member joining us upside down!  

Jim and I led groups twice at our apartment.  I did the opening prayer and “ice breaker” questions.  Jim did  the study and the closing prayer.  Again, we got to know several more folks. Since that time, we have joined groups four more times and yesterday our latest group met at the lovely Stonebridge apartment of our leader.  We had a good discussion of what it means to be “evangelical.”  This will lead into a discussion of the Christian nationalism that is being promoted by too many—not our church!  

The joy of doing these small groups is that when we get to church—in the sanctuary the last few weeks, not livestream—we have people to greet.  We know names and faces and this is a good thing when one belongs to a large congregation.  In South Bend, we knew every person, young and old, in church and knew if someone was a visitor. But not here in Princeton.  However, we have made progress in that way.    We go to church to worship, not just to greet friends.  But familiar faces make church a place of fellowship too.