This morning we made our weekly grocery shopping trip together after a Starbucks coffee treat and I told him I did not take these outings for granted. In fact, I emailed our grand-daughter and her fiancée and said I hoped they could be doing the same thing in 50 years.
The “year of the hip” has made some changes in our relationship. I had assured a social worker who called before my hip replacement surgery last May that my 79 year old husband was capable of being a support person. He has filled that role magnificently. A change that has taken place is that he takes charge of more things. He will ask me if we have set a timer when we put things in the oven. He will take things out of the washer and put them in the dryer without my asking him to do so. He helps me put socks and shoes on my right foot. I don’t have the mobility to be able to do that without pain.
Sadly, too he has been my “therapist.” He is encouraging me to keep my “eyes on the prize” of getting past another dreaded surgery and having an easier time walking and doing the ordinary tasks of life. When I worried about my upcoming appointment with the surgeon and my concerns, he suggested we write things down in preparation. And I know he will go with me to the appointment. And then there is the joy of the activities we do together each day—the NYT Spelling Bee and a daily crossword puzzle.
One member of our small group at church mentioned this week that one of her major roles in life was “widow.” I can so understand her sharing that because I worry about having to take over all the things Jim does with our finances and our car and our transportation. I hope he outlives me but I know we will have no choice in this matter and I just need to be grateful for each day we have together.
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