I am a "Book Girl"

 I have mostly finished perusing "Book Girl" by Sarah Clarkson.  I think I found this book by reading the blog "Modern Mrs. Darcy."  Both of these sources gave me suggestions to add to my "want to read" list on Goodreads.com.   

Last Wednesday I thought that I had absolutely nothing scheduled and no errand to run and no particular chores to do.  I know that for many that would be a blessing but in our retirement and Covid isolation, it is good to have some things to do.  Actually that wasn't quite true because I do a "choir gathering" (not rehearsal) via Zoom on Wednesday evenings.  But anyway, I ended up spending a couple of hours going through my  Goodreads "want to read" list and eliminating books that no longer had any appeal and then following up on several others so that I could enjoy reading them.   

I have three sources for accessing good reads.  We do not live in Princeton as such even though that is our postal address.  So I pay $70 a year to join the Princeton Public Library and that is money well spent.  I put many books on my hold list.  Several came available so Saturday morning I picked up another four books at the Curbside Pickup lane.  

Another source is Better World Books where I find out of print and older books for less than $5.  Shipping is free and within a week there is a packaged book in our mail box.  Not all the books are in pristine condition and sometimes I add them unread to the bag of donations I have ready to go in our garage, but it is not a big investment wasted.   Recycling books and employing people who need jobs is a business model I want to support. I have visited their Mishawaka, Indiana warehouse when they donated picture books to Family Literacy which I administered for several years in South Bend.   I "dove" into bins to retrieve treasures for our preschoolers. 

My third source is my Kindle app and purchases from Amazon--sometimes free (in order to get me hooked on a series?), but usually $2.99 or less--often only 99 cents.

I need good books to read as an escape.  But sometimes the escape motivation is not enough.  In the last two weeks I have finished three books that were really worth reading.  Jesus:  A Pilgrimage by James Martin was devotional in nature as it gave me a glimpse of the humanity of Jesus.   Tough Love by Susan Rice was an interesting account of her life and of the issues our government faced during the Obama presidency. Now that she has a role in the Biden administration I will be looking for her in the news.  Today's NYT tells that she is burning sage in her new office to clear it of the spirits of Mr. Miller who promoted some of President Trump's worst schemes.  I enjoyed a classic on my iphone app--Lost Horizon--and wondered why I had never read it before. 

And I did enjoy two mysteries:  Blood Grove by Walter Mosley and Final Arrangements by Rich Curtin.  Mosley's books have too many characters and too complicated a plot but I enjoy the "voice" of Easy Rawlins.  Final Arrangements was a story of revenge and terrible evil but I like the setting and Detective Manny Rivera.  But I abandoned Aspire to Die by MS Morris when there were multiple deaths, incest, and adultery--just too much degradation and sordidness.  Goodreads says that I have abandoned 66 books since joining and that I have read 294 mysteries.  

I just finished Latest Readings by Clive James.  When he was diagnosed with leukema he knew he did not have long to live so he decided that "if you don't know the exact moment the lights will go out, you might as well read until they do."  He writes about the books he never read and still wanted to read as well as the ones he wanted to re-read.  He motivated me to look for The Sun Also Rises by Hemingway but I noted on Goodreads that I had already read it and did not appreciate it as much as he did! One more reason I like Goodreads--to remind me that I have already read a book and forgotten!  

I am so thankful for the eyes to be able to read and for the sources to find good books to read and the ability to access them.  I have always been a "book girl" but during this time of social isolation it is even more of a blessing to have a stack of books ready for me to dig into. 

Parenting and Grandparenting

 This morning I joined with several much younger women in a Tuesday morning Bible Study from our church in South Bend.  With Zoom, it is possible for me to meet with them--in the same way they are all meeting from their homes even if I am 700 miles away.  It is good for me to hear of their concerns and requests for prayers--many of which have to do with their anxieties about their children.  Raising children always has its stresses but even more so these days with social distancing and virtual schooling.

It made me think about grandparenting and the joys of being with grandchildren without the stresses and responsibilities of their daily care and nurturing.  I thought about some of the highlights of 2020 and how many of them were times when we were with our grandchildren as individuals, not with their parents or siblings.

Before the pandemic struck, we went to see J in his middle school musical.  We took him out for McDonald's milkshakes and had quite the conversation which I will treasure and keep private.  Then over the summer, we had overnight visits from both grandsons and our granddaughter--all of which I put in blogs at that time.  However, looking back, Jim and I were amazed that those visits were not even a year ago--seems like longer than that because time seems to go so slowly these days.  

At some point when the weather was warmer, we did On the Border takeout with our oldest grandchild K and her boyfriend.  We sat at picnic tables near her graduate student housing and enjoyed margaritas--grown up drinks with a grownup granddaughter. Then later in the fall we stopped to see our oldest grandson in Troy, New York.  We picked him up at his off campus housing and had a great dinner on a patio overlooking the Hudson River.

As I look back a bit further,   there were times alone with two other grandsons in 2019.  We stayed with M when Jeff and Susan went to Hawaii and  A came to spend time with us when the rest of his family travelled out of state.

My new year's resolution was to find more ways to be in touch with our grandchildren.  That has not been easy when we are so fearful of the Covid virus.  I have tried to text or Facebook message more.  

R calls me on her Gizmo watch sometimes and in the last week we have been meeting via Facetime to read The Boxcar Children together.  I loved that book as a child and suggested it to her.  I purchased her a copy of the original 1924 version and downloaded it on my Kindle app so that we have the same words.  We have read several chapters taking turns reading.  I hope it has been as much fun for her as it has been for me.  Plus it gives us a chance to chat a bit--about her softball clinic, an orthodontist visit, and life in general in her family's world.

So grandparenting is the reward of raising children--or else one would never have grandchildren!   We can leave their parents with the need to feed them, keep them healthy, and educate them.  We can just enjoy them!   

Pfizer Vaccine #1

The first Covid 19 vaccine is in our arms. This will not make big changes in our lives because the second vaccine is scheduled for March 18 and we will continue to wear our masks--even our new KN95 masks--and stay isolated for the most part. The great relief for me is that I don't have to keep checking for a place to get the vaccine. We drove the 50 plus miles and the process is started. 

 I stopped checking the CVS site and the Penn Hospital site this week knowing that our turn had almost arrived. If I had not found this appointment on February 6, I don't think anything else would have turned up. We get emails from Robert Wood Johnson Medical Center telling us we are on their lists but they don't schedule anything. We were relieved yesterday when we got confirmation of our appointments today. I figured that meant they had enough vaccines. 

 We left home at 8:20 am and arrived at Rowan College in Gloucester County before 9:30. We joined the long line outside the college center. First stop was to get our temperature taken by a young lady wearing a FEMA shirt. Second stop was for a National Guardsman to check our ID and appointment forms. I was happy that they allowed Jim and me to go in together even if our scheduled appointments were an hour or more apart. The third stop was to check IDs again and address and phone number. And then we were given seats together with the nurses who were going to administer the shots. However there was a short wait while they got more vaccines from another building. "No, they had not run out," I heard them reassuring someone! That gave us an opportunity to chat with Jasmine and Amy. Jasmine called me "Miss Mary" as my GED students always did--and called both of us "Hon." They were RNs from the county. The shots were duly administered and we were sent off to the recovery area where EMTs were in charge--asking us how we felt. I said, "Happy" or "Great" when asked. It was certainly better than just "Fine."

 

 

It took one hour from parking lot back to parking lot. On the way home we treated ourselves to a Starbuck coffee and a treat. I think we will treat ourselves tonight to take-out from On the Border which has been our celebratory go-to place this year--along with their takeout margaritas! I hope we don't have severe side effects this time or the next.

 I will NOT post a photo on Facebook. I know there are many others who are still struggling to get appointments. This process could have used better administration from the national level. The previous administration did not take the situation seriously at least not publicly so and the new adminsitration has a lot of catching up to do. Over 500,000 died in the last year. I am so thankful we have been able to take this big step in our defense against Covid and hope my children and grandchildren will get their turns soon.

Trying to Think Positive Thoughts

 I wrote earlier about FOMO and that fear of missing out persists especially when I see so many friends on Facebook writing about having had their vaccines and rejoicing in their fortune.  Then today someone called me to tell me that she had made just one call and gotten an appointment for Monday.  I was envious because I feel as if I have failed in this game and don't know how to do it better.  However almost all these success stories come from Michigan and Indiana friends and not New Jersey.

So as I have been battling my frustration and envy and even some anger, I tried to think about some positives for Jim and me.

We did our weekly shop today, one day early because we ran out of vegetables and worse yet, wine!   McCaffrey's had some empty shelves last spring and summer.    But today, there were no shortages.  There was plenty of frozen food, canned goods, and meat.  I didn't look for paper products or cleaning products so can't speak to shortages there.  But we left with plenty of food for the week--and wine too!

Jim had kept his RA (rhematoid arthritis) under control for the last few years with a weekly dose of methotrexate.  But when he started radiation treatments for prostate cancer last February, he had to stop the methotrexate.  This concerned us and he had a steroid prescription available in case he had a flare-up.  But he did surprisingly well and in fact, when the radiation treatments were done, his rheumatologist said that the RA was probably in remission.  Apparently radiation can affect RA  for some patients in that way.  He has had occasional painful joints but Aleve has taken care of the pain.  So how good it is that he is no longer taking an immuno-suppressant when there is such a powerful virus threatening us. 

And we do have an appointment which I happened to find open when I checked the NJ-DOH site ten days ago-but it is not for another week and it is 56 miles from here.  We have done a trial run to find Rowan College and the weather looks favorable for next week.  So that is reassuring but I am concerned that the site will run out of vaccine doses because this is happening in some areas. 

 I can be thankful that we are in the 1B category so we are next in line,  an advantage of our aging!   It may be a while before our children and our grandchildren will be able to get their vaccines.  I would gladly have them go before us. 

Morning walk with "Pray
as You Go" app

I keep checking local sites--at the Princeton CVS and Penn Hospital.  They update their pages daily saying that there are no appointments.  However tonight suddenly there was a notice that said you can call Penn Hospital tomorrow to get an appointment.  I will try to do so right at 9 am but there may be 700 others doing the same!  Still maybe there will be a wait list and we could have a backup plan for the Rowan College megasite appointment.  That is the first I have seen of any other option for us. 

So patience needs to be my mantra--and prayer my plan--for us and for our loved ones.
 

The screen shot shows that I redialed 24 times between 9 am and 3:30 pm and got a busy buzz every time. And I really appreciated a text from my wise younger son: "I'm hopeful that sometime in the next two months things will flip and it will be vaccines chasing people."

Connecting with Others--a Revision

 Last week I wrote a post about connecting with others.  I used names in it and my dear husband advised against that.  He was right and I deleted the post.  But I have had two incidents since then--or more--that made me aware of our lack of connectedness in this time of pandemic isolation and how hard it is on everyone.  And how it may encourage behaviors that are unusual.  And how much we appreciate the contacts we do have.

Last week we went to stores twice--the Plainsboro Dollar Tree the morning after we were no longer trapped in our garage due to a mound of snow and McCaffrey's, our local grocery store on our regular Saturday morning trip.  

Both times a clerk came in closer to me and whispered in my ear a story about another customer.  It struck me that these clerks were eager for a bit of connectedness and I was certainly receptive to it.

I told the Dollar Tree clerk how happy I was to be in her store on the day after the storm and she pulled me aside to say someone had been in the store in shorts earlier that morning.  I was appropriately aghast and said something like "You meet all kinds of people."

It was at the service desk at McCaffrey's after I told the clerk how pleased I was to get stamps from her and not have to go to the post office, she whispered to me, "See that lady in line?  She tells everyone else to go ahead of her because she is waiting for her husband.  But....her husband never comes."   I didn't look directly at the waiting woman but I have been thinking about this story ever since.  At first, I just had to chuckle.  But then I was thinking how poignant the story is.  Maybe that woman was doing her good deed for the day by letting others go ahead of her.  Maybe she just wanted to enjoy seeing other people around her.  And maybe she was wishing there was a husband to join her.  I didn't tell the clerk that my husband was waiting for me in the parking lot but I was glad he was doing just that!  

In both cases, somehow I elicited unexpected conversation--and I was glad for it.  The earlier post that I deleted was about the joy of my interaction with my gynocologist--who is a lovely woman and thanked me for asking about her college aged sons.  And who told me a very moving story about one of her assistants.  

This morning I participated in a women's Bible study with a group from my church in South Bend.  I am 30 years older than the others and I live 700 miles away from them but I am so happy to be a part of their lives in this way--to hear their concerns.  It enriches my life to think of others and to know how to pray for others. 

And yesterday our dear Jeff who had President's Day off from work brought us pizza and cupcakes to celebrate Jim's 75th birthday.  We ate in the dining room--six feet apart and it was so good to see him and chat with him.  I posted a photo on Facebook and was happy to get many "likes" and  to share others' congratulations with Jim.  Laura called and Dan texted.  Jim asked if I had reminded them and I was able to say that I had not done so.  

Tonight we begin a Lenten small group with others from our Nassau Presbyterian Church here in Princeton.  We were in a group with four of the others a year ago so meeting them on Zoom won't be totally new and awkward.    We look forward to meeting another person or two or three.  

But it is a strange world when connecting with others seems worthy of a blog post! 

Covid Vaccine Stories

Yesterday when I picked up a prescription at CVS, the technician told me that CVS would open up Covid vaccine appointments at 4 am today.  It would be good to have appointments four miles from home instead of the 48 mile trip we have scheduled. 

I did not want to set an alarm for 3:55 am but when I woke up at 4:57 I thought it was worth checking my CVS phone app.  I grabbed my phone from the side of the bed and found the app.  New Jersey was not open.  I lay awake for a bit and at 5:07 I wondered if I had checked carefully enough but there was NJ on the map--no red color. Being curious, I checked New York and there were many towns listed that were not booked.  New Jersey was clearly not ready for appointments. I went back to sleep and was grateful for a few more hours of rest.

At 8:30 am I saw that New Jersey was open.  However, Princeton and all other slots were booked.  Some Facebook posters wrote of their frustrations like mine.   It appears that the sites opened up at 7 am and within 15 minutes were fully booked.  So if I had tried hard enough by checking every 15 minutes from 5 am to 7 am, I might have been successful!  

It makes me very glad that we have our backup plan of driving to Gloucester County on February 25.  We will do a trial run to find the site next week.  My gynocologist told me this week what she said was a funny story of her parents doing the same and when they found their site it was almost deserted.  They were asked if they were there for an appointment and her father said they were --just not right then.  They were welcomed in anyway and got their shots!  

A friend in the Grand Rapids area told me that she spent 3 hours and 50 minutes on hold  on the phone waiting to get her appointment.  She has now had her second shot and posted on Facebook that she is "sooo happy."  I am trying not to be jealous!   I know that I have not wanted to put that kind of effort into this.  We can wait.  Really, when I think of the need for teachers to have vaccines so schools can open safely, I think they should go ahead of us--the 65 and older group.    

So now we can hope that the Gloucester site doesn't run out of vaccines.  And that when it is time for our second vaccine a month later,  they also have supplies.  And that we don't get too sick from the side effects either time.  Maybe by early April we will feel safer about seeing family in person and getting out a bit more.  Maybe by summer things will start opening up again.  We can hope!  

I am Unmotivated

 

It is Thursday and on Thursdays I have scheduled an organ practice at noon at Kingston Presbyterian Church when the secretary is there and the church is open.  At first, I mourned for the organ I used to play in South Bend.  That was a historic Tracker  pipe organ and this one is a modern digital organ.  But I have grown accustomed to the sound of this one and have been glad when I have made myself go practice for an hour.  I play hymns and, then last week,  Bach little preludes and fugues.  It is healing for my soul to sit in a church sanctuary and I think about how people worshipped there for over 200 years. 

But the church is cold.  I keep my coat on.  The organ keys are cold to the touch and my fingers are stiff.   It is awkward to unlock the organ, open it up, turn it on, put on my organ shoes, and find my glasses.  It's hard to see the music and I slide on (and almost off!) the bench.  Sometimes, like today, it just seems like too much effort.  

Yesterday I listened to a few excerpts of string quartets recommended on the NYT website.  They were beautiful and I tried to imagine the violinist and violist and cellist each taking their turn.  But I wanted to see them in a concert hall.  It has now been months since I have heard live music.

It has also been more than  a year since I have walked into an art museum.  I thought I would be taking New Jersey Transit into New York on my solo trips and visiting museums but I would be happy now if I could just go to the Princeton Art Museum.  But that too is closed.  

I have been thinking about travel adventures of the past and there have been many.  If there was no Covid, we would have had another jaunt to Florida in January.  We would be planning a trip to Grand Rapids in May for a 50th anniversary of Jim's seminary graduation.  I doubt that will take place except virtually--and we probably would not feel safe to travel there anyway.  

I'd like to plan a birthday celebration for Jim in ten days but it's too cold to sit outside at our children's homes.  I'd like to make a heart cake with Ruth who has told me that she likes to bake with me and that I know such good things to make.  I may have a total of three special ideas in my repertoire but she remembers the ones we have done together and that is so dear of her. 

So many things that have enriched my life are not possible right now.  I can read but I need to find books that are interesting and worth reading.  I am not in a studious mood and I have read too many British murder mysteries as escape reading.

Maybe I won't post this downer of a blog!  I make lists of what I am thankful for in my spiritual journal.  I know I have to accept that this is a hard time with the isolation that we have to enforce in order to be safe. I am thankful that I don't have small children to entertain or older children to keep motivated.  I have Jim to share this isolation with me.  I can express my thoughts in my journals and more publicly in this blog. I have been surprised by who does read it besides a few close friends and my husband!  And right now I feel somewhat better already having vented in print!

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The sun was shining so I walked down the path bordering Mapleton Road and our apartment complex.  I listened to Laura's "Best of Both Worlds" podcast.  It was around 2200 steps with some Vitamin D on my face and a little glimpse into Laura's parenting her teenager and tweenagers.  She talked about keeping the lines of communication open--and I cynically thought "good luck with that" as I remembered days of yore.  

So I didn't do any organ practice today.  Maybe I'll play the digital piano here at home for a while.  Maybe I'll search my Goodreads "want to read" list for some books to request when the library reopens or to buy from Better World Books or to download from Amazon.  I'll fix stir fry for supper with lots of vegetables and a minimum amount of sausage links.  And I'll try to be satisfied with another quiet day at home.