Leave of Absence

 Maybe my leave of absence started when we decided to do livestream church for many weeks now.  But today was a significant day in that I made up a grocery list and Jim went alone to Trader Joe’s to shop.  The last several weeks have been hard on me even with pushing a shopping cart.  

I am not planning to go to Grace Notes Choir on Tuesday not only because it is difficult to manage the walking but also because I don’t want to get exposed to any germs a week before surgery.

We looked over the medication list from pre-admission testing to see what I can or cannot take the morning of surgery. I fretted in the middle of the night as to whether we had that information.  Jim looked it over and we did.  I had overlooked it. 

  We will watch the required video later today but can skip the class according to Michelle, Dr. Culp’s scheduler, who sets up all the appointments and sends the video by text message. 

I worry about not getting the phone call from the hospital the previous night telling me the time of surgery.  Last time they called early in the 12-6 time slot and I was reassured.  It is not totally clear what to do if I don’t get a call but there are a few numbers on the forms.  I guess I can always call the main hospital number and they could get me to the surgery schedule.  Just a worry. Along with all the other worries. Last time we practiced finding the entrance and parking lot but this time that is familiar to us. 

Monday is another pre-op appointment in which I will sign my life away.  I will ask if I can go home the day of surgery.  Last time they said No, because I had seen a specialist—the cardiologist.  This time I did not see any specialists.  I would love to get home to sleep and to get to the bathroom with Jim’s help and not have to call any nurses.  As long as there are no complications.  And I can walk with the walker and get up the practice steps.  Maybe they will say at my age No Way!

I have to do this but I dread it—every step of the process.  I need to have courage!  “What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in thee.”  A text memorized in my childhood has become a mantra! People have asked me if I feel less stress this time having been through it once before. The answer is No.  I know the things that are difficult and hope they will not be so this time.  

January 25  The Monday appointment with Sierra was very helpful.  She answered my questions and even welcomed my questions.  She wrote down that I wanted to go home the same day as surgery.  If that is possible, that would be wonderful.  She told me to tell the nurses that I had no problems with urinary retention when I got home.  So maybe I can convince them that is not a problem either.  

I have more pain today after having to stop the Aleve.  That must make a difference and it helps me to accept my need for this surgery.  

We are happily at home with a winter storm outside—lots of snow and wind.  The church service was pre-recorded for this morning so no one had to get out on the roads.  Susan is in NC with her dad remembering her mother’s 80th birthday yesterday and mourning her mother. Her trip home may be delayed a day or so.  She may have to teach her first class by Zoom.  Dan and Alex are in Hawaii perilously close to a volcanic eruption.  Jeff is shoveling out his driveway in stages.  And we are safely at home listening to the New Dawn workers clean off our apartment access and sidewalks.  

January 26  Another PA called from the doctor’s office about prescriptions and said you are staying overnight and I said NOOO!  He will talk to the surgeon and let me know if I can come home the day of surgery.  I was very sad and stressed because that was a relief for me and now it may not be happening.  I got the prescription straightened out because I never took OxyContin last time and it is still unopened in the closet—I don’t need more!  I understand their being careful about opioids.  And so I wait for a call from the doctor.  Which I may not get.  I can’t recall if he said he would call if I could not go home or if I could.  It’s all so important to me and I am just one of many for them—six surgeries for Dr. Culp on the day of my surgery the last time.  And that was not by far his record in one day.