Waiting

All this going on and on about my surgery is TMI (too much information!) for my few readers but as my primary purpose of this blog is a record of our lives with photos—and the yearly book that I make from it—it is worth recording.

One new friend emailed this morning that “the wait is the hard part” and I think that is true.  The recovery was tedious with all the pills for 30 days and all the exercises but I did not find it stressful.   I find the anticipation of surgery again quite stressful.  

But as I opened my email this morning and saw several notes from friends who are praying for me I was grateful.  The Jesuits do an examen at the end of the day asking how was God present in one’s day and I thought this is how God is present in my life right now—through the friends who are praying for me and letting me know they care about me.  I am very grateful.  

Yesterday we picked up all the meds at CVS that I will be taking for 30 days.  I turned down the OxyContin because I still have some unopened from the last surgery.  I hope I can keep that bottle unopened!  Today we have to wash the sheets and I have to pack.  We have to use these yucky disinfectant wipes—six of them for six zones of my body.  I will get a call about the time of surgery this afternoon.  I don’t expect I will sleep much tonight—I didn’t last time but they will put me out with their anesthetic in the morning so I’ll sleep then. 

Our church staff prayed for me to have a calm spirit and that does not come easily for me.  They also prayed for loving and caring nurses and doctors.  A hard part of the last surgery was entering the operating room which was so very cold and bright and there were no faces to see or kind words to hear.  Maybe the amnesiac drug they give you makes that my memory but I thought of it as a kind of hell.  I relived that moment too often later.  This time I will just accept it and go on.  Most of the nurses were kind but there was one who was very abrupt with me and with her aide.  I hope not to see her again!  For the surgeon, I am one of maybe six surgeries in a row.  How can anyone be a surgeon, I wonder!  But on his pre-op video, it is clear he feels it is his calling and he is pleased with how he can make a difference in people’s lives with replacements.  So I have to accept that too—that I am just number who knows what in his day! 

In 24 hours, the surgery should be over.  I was hoping to come home the same day and one PA seemed to agree but now I doubt that will happen.  I slept maybe 30 minutes of the night in the hospital the first times. So by Friday at least at supper time, I hope to be home and recovering. And maybe my next blog will be rejoicing in being home again!  

———One of my worries was waiting for the call scheduling the time of surgery and what if I didn’t get that call?  But I did and it is set for 12:40 which means getting to the hospital at 10:40.  That probably means I will not get home the same day but it also means we can travel in daylight.  It is a long time fasting but that won’t bother me.  I can drink water until 8:40 and even coffee!  Which I probably won’t do.  It’s 1:40 right now—maybe in 24 hours I will be in the recovery room and asking to go home!  (Well, that didn’t happen.  The surgeries were running late and we didn’t even get into the OR until 2:30.  I think that meant it was too late for the required OT and PT people to meet with me and there were also some issues with oxygen levels.  So an overnight stay was required.