An Outing!

 

When I told Jim I needed to go to UPS to return an Amazon purchase, he said, “An outing!”  So this is what consists of an outing when one is retired.  While we were out, we made three stops and felt very efficient.

First stop, CVS for one of my prescriptions.  There will be more there later this week but at that point Jim will have some too.  Jim is so good to me.  Standing in line is hard for me so he goes in and has learned that doing so at 2 pm is a great time.  And it didn’t take long at all and he was back at the car, prescription in hand.

Second stop, Stults Farm Market for our CSA basket.  This week it was a cabbage, zucchini, apples, and a pepper.  There was also corn one could add to the haul.  We don’t eat cabbage and we used the last of last week’s zucchini last night when we had “squashy eggs.”  But we will enjoy the corn again tonight and I could make apple crisp one of these days.  I’ll grate the zucchini and freeze it for a time when I feel like making muffins.  I had been giving extra produce to the family downstairs but they moved out and we don’t have new neighbors yet.  And even if we did, I would hesitate to make my first encounter one of giving away food we can’t use.  

Third stop, UPS where there appeared to be a line and a woman at the head of it with issues.  One person ahead of us gave up and left. I was hoping my request would be easy as I showed the QR code on my phone.  And it was!  I have a receipt and my purchase is on its way to Amazon where I asked for store credit and will try a different size.  I was quite pleased with myself with handling the method of returning purchases through the Amazon site and the UPS.  

So…we are home again.  It’s almost time for happy hour and fixing supper.  Do we want to watch the Mets and Phillies again tonight?  We have cheered for both teams when they play others.  But our hearts seem to be with the Mets and they have not made us happy lately.  

So this is life in retirement.  In the past, we’d have to squeeze in all those errands after work or on the weekend and now it is what we consider “An Outing.” 

—————9:45 pm  While we go about such ordinary travels, there was another school shooting in Colorado and an assassination of a political activist, Charlie Kirk of Turning Points, in Utah.  Our world is full of violence and sadness.  

Watching TV Sports

Watching sports on TV is a very huge part of our lives so maybe I should blog about it.

The Mets—they can be so good and they can be so bad.  Even their best players, Lindor, Alonso, Soto, seem to have slumps.  And their pitching has not been what anyone can count on—even the reputed Senga.  But two rookies just brought up from the Minors have starred so maybe things will be looking up—McLean and Tong.  And we do like our SNY sportscasters—Keith Hernandez, Gary Cohen, Ron Darling, and Steve Gelbs. They are like old familiar friends coming to us almost nightly.  

ND football—It was a hard loss to Miami on Sunday.  A rookie quarterback CJ Carr shows promise but he was not always protected well by his linemen.  The Irish got way behind and then to their credit chipped away to come back but not enough.

We watched a bit of WNBA last night and of course, there is always golf on the weekends.  When I complain about seeing the same commercials over and over, I have to remember it is because we have that TV on so much. So now, will I watch the Mets without Jim here his afternoon?  I am less motivated to do so.  However, he is the one to give up on them when they get behind or start to lose a big lead.  And he is really emotionally invested in ND sports.  I tell him his reputation as a scholar does not depend on ND winning in football or basketball, but I think he is not convinced.  He used to feel the same way about NCSU’s Wolfpack.  To Jim’s credit, he knows a lot about sports.  So many times, he will make a comment and then the announcers will say the same thing—as if they heard what he said sitting on our living room sofa.

The Mets and Tigers were tied when I put on the TV. The Mets immediately went behind 3-1 and I wondered if I should turn it off.  I kept it on and it only got worse.  It was a 6-2 loss but the Mets had won the first two of the series.  

The Hip Saga Continues

 On Wednesday I visited Dr. Skeehan again, this time for a gel injection.  Once again, he was very kind and solicitous about trying to make me comfortable and tolerating the pain.  It was not bad at all.  I told him I was tough and had three babies without much medication and he replied, “Say no more!” Sadly, these gel injections are not covered by insurance for hips, just for knees, so Jim had to go to the front desk with our credit card before anyone could proceed.  

The strange thing is that even though there is gel inserted into the joint, there may be no relief for two weeks!  When we got home, I wondered how this could be true so of course, I googled “Why is there a delay in relief with gel injections for hips?” And yes, this is what happens.  Apparently, it needs to work with one’s own body’s mechanisms.  So I will have to be patient and wait for better mobility and less discomfort.  The best results could be at two months and one can have another injection after six months. 

What gave me some peace of mind is that one cannot even consider hip replacement surgery for three months due to the danger of infection, I guess.  So I don’t have to wonder if I should be thinking of that step.  I just have to be a patient patient!  

Today I asked Jim if we could drive down to the entrance to the canal near Eno Terra and I could walk just a bit there.  We did—and I managed at least to get across the parking lot and see the water.  It was lovely but that was far enough for today.  It’s a beautiful Labor Day and we have spent a lot of it watching the Mets win and now watching the Phillies.  

58 Years!

Taken a few years ago at Ocean Grove

 We celebrated our 58th wedding anniversary on Sunday.  We were married when we were only 21 years old and still had one more year of college to go.  Plus Jim had seminary after that—and then graduate school for another several years.  We both worked during those years and at age 30 he had his first full time job as a professor at NCSU.  By that time we had one child.  Somehow we made it through all those years paying the rent and getting enough to eat.  Our families helped us some.  And rent was cheap!  

We celebrated in a pretty low key way.  I try to avoid going out to eat on Sundays—my little bit of conservatism, or Sabbatarianism in a way.  So we made one of our favorite meals together—lasagna.   It was delicious!  And a great thing is that there is enough for two more meals.  

I am so thankful for Jim.  I am so thankful our marriage has lasted through mostly good times but not always!  But we endured and can be so grateful for that.  Especially this last year, it has been “in sickness and in health.”  I am not sick but “the year of the hip” has meant Jim has had to help me in so many more ways.  And he has done so with such kindness and love. 

Quotidian Gratitude

 Therapists recommend keeping a gratitude journal.  Arthur Brooks in his letters on happiness asks readers to respond with what makes them happy—not a bucket list kind of happiness but a more ordinary, daily happiness.

I wake up in the morning and start my day with the prayer:  “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  Then I read Heather Cox Richardson’s daily Substack post and I despair for our country with its leaders making bad decisions day after day.  I pray not to let my struggle with mild depression get the best of me. And right now I pray that my struggle with pain and mobility not overcome me.  And then I get out of bed. 

I do keep a gratitude journal in my private online journals but I thought that today I would make my routine reasons for gratitude a bit more public here. 

As others said in the Brooks article, I am grateful for that first sip of coffee in the morning.  Jim almost always has it ready for me in the thermos.  I like opening Spelling Bee and Connections on my NYT app on my iPhone.  I do what I can on my own and then Jim and I compare our lists.  We don’t give up until we get to Genius—even if it means having to look at the hints provided. I rarely succeed in Connections without getting the message “next time.” 

I read the lectionary for the day and often go to Sacred Space or Divine Office for wisdom and guidance and a few moments of peace.  I like my time of mindfulness on the deck when I do my breath prayers and try to see and hear and feel nature around me. 

I am thankful if I have a plan for supper that does not involve much work—maybe just leftovers from another meal. 

I am thankful if my husband comes over and gives me a kiss saying that he knew I just needed that. I am thankful to have him here working in the study or doing errands with me.  The only times we are apart are when he goes golfing and I am always happy to get his message from the 13th green and know that he will be home soon.  I am thankful that we can do a NYT crossword puzzle while enjoying a happy hour in the late afternoon.  Usually I am thankful that we can cheer the Mets on SNY with our favorite announcers Gary and Keith and Ron although the Mets don’t make it a relaxing experience very often.

I am thankful to have this iPad and the connection it gives me with a world of information and with friends and acquaintances from years past and with our family wherever they are. (Today it’s Ocean Grove, New Jersey and Venice!) 

I don’t have a bucket list.  I am quite content to stay home and have a pretty routine existence.  I like that word “quotidian”  which has entered my vocabulary recently.  I have quotidian reasons for gratitude—many of them.  

Another Stage of Life

I can’t really think how I want to title this post but I have been thinking about how life changes and how solicitous and dear my offspring have been in the last few days.

Friday night we went out to eat with Jeff.  Susan was in North Carolina with her dad.  I had a craving for a steak salad so I did a search “Steak salad near me” and Rocky Hill Inn came up—just a short ride from our home.  There were no parking places left in the lot so Jim dropped me off and looked for a place down the street.  Jeff very kindly helped me walk to the entrance and get up the steps.  We had a very pleasant meal and the steak salad was perfect!

Then Saturday we drove to Ocean Grove to spend some time with Laura’s family at the ocean front cottage they have rented for several years—beginning with the 50th anniversary week we all enjoyed eight years ago.  Laura too was very solicitous about my walking across the lawn and up the steps to their porch.  She offered me her arm if I wanted to go down to the water but I decided I was happy enough on the porch feeling the sea breeze.

I have been thinking how life changes.  Once upon a long time ago, I held their hands and helped them walk.  And now they are looking out for their mother who stumbles along with her cane.  I am grateful for their looking out for me.  I am humbled by my need for help but try to accept it with thankfulness. 

A Kitchen Table with a History

 

Our dear granddaughter Katie has just moved to Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where she will be a professor at Wake Forest University.  I had emailed her yesterday to see how she and her fiance were doing one week into their move and she suggested a FaceTime visit so she could show us their new townhouse. Tonight we were delighted to see her face and hear her voice and see how very lived in their place looks already!

Adding to my delight was seeing their dining room table.  I asked Katie to take off the tablecloth so I could have a closer look.  Yes, that is the table that came from my grandparents’ kitchen 58 years ago.  Jim and I stripped the painted grape leaves from it and varnished it—working in our driveway the month before we got married.  It had a home with us for many years and then found its way to Jeff and Susan’s apartments and now, there it is, with Katie and Eli in North Carolina!  That table has a history and I hope will be the happy place for many more meals for a fifth generation.