TMI

 

My new cane

This is TMI for any readers I have but worth recording for our own memories because it has been a week of medical appointments and some progress.  Monday I had a six month check of my A1C which I dreaded because I meant to lose more weight and I meant to eat fewer chocolates.  While I was there, I asked my primary care doctor for help with my hip arthritis which has worsened over the last months.  He gave me a script for an x-ray and to my amazement, I was able to schedule that for a few hours later.

The x-ray came back already that afternoon as "serious osteoarthritis" and my doctor via his aides gave me the name of a hip specialist.  I was able to schedule an appointment with him for next Monday.  The office person at Princeton Orthopedics told me I had to have a disk of my x-ray to show him.  More on that later as I wondered why electronic transmission was not possible.

I anxiously awaited the glucose and A1C results and they came in on Tuesday with a diagnosis of "mild diabetes" and a recommendation to "limit simple carbs and sweets" and drink more water.  I eat very few simple carbs but I do succumb to sweets and I certainly could drink more water.  I felt I was given another six month reprieve to try to do better and am so glad I don't have to take any more drugs with unpleasant side effects.  (We hear too many ads on TV!) 

So then there was the hassle of getting a disk which had to be ordered from Medical Records at the hospital where I had the x-ray.  I went through an interminable phone chain without success and finally talked to a real person who put me on to another real person.  I ordered the disk and said I would pick it up that afternoon.  It was pouring rain but we made the trip to the hospital.  I asked for directions to Medical Records and hoped it wouldn't be a great distance as I walked along with my cane.  "Take a left and then another left" I was told.  I had to ask for help twice while walking the long corridors with multiple places to take a left. But I succeeded and when the clerk saw me pull out my reading glasses to fill out the permission form, she asked me for my driver's license and did it for me.  I thanked her, left with my disk, and hoped to be able to take a right and then another right to reverse my directions and find the entrance.  Happily there were exit signs and I came close enough to the right place to text Jim who picked me up after a very short wait in the rain.

So, progress and relief and maybe next week I will get some help for the arthritis--not hip replacement surgery which I have vetoed but maybe a cortisone shot or some temporary relief.  I felt weary at times this week of advocating for myself but also grateful for kind medical help and really quite prompt results for tests and xrays via voice mail messages.  And I am very grateful for my husband who was my chauffeur and has had to listen to my laments.  

Dinner in Gladwyne

 

Laura emailed that they would like to see us again--and I emailed that we needed an invitation!  That invitation came immediately and we settled on the next Saturday for an early dinner.

Laura ordered out and two big bags of food arrived making everyone happy with sushi for some and teriyaki chicken for others.  Plus chicken nuggets and fries for some of the younger, less adventuresome eaters. Contrary to the puzzled looks on these two eaters, they liked their meals! 

We enjoyed catching up on some Conway news and then it is so good that it is just an hour's ride home to sleep in our own beds.  In many ways, it was good to move cross country to be closer to children and grandchildren.  

It was six years ago that we put our Granger house on the market, sold it to the first family that looked at it, spent months down-sizing and packing, moved into temporary housing in South Bend and then in Princeton, and then finally in mid-July 2019 settled into our apartment.  It's almost time to sign the lease again which we will do.  

The big move into senior housing is on our minds and in our prayers but we can't seem to make the next step to put down our deposit and wait for our name to come up for the size apartment we would want.  

Susan's Mother Dies Unexpectedly

 We are mourning with Susan and her family in the sudden death of her mother on Wednesday.  

Obituary for Sharon Hughes Killian

Mrs. Sharon Hughes Killian, age 79, of Asheville, NC, passed away suddenly on February 26, 2025. She was born on January 24, 1946, in the loving home of Edmund Earl Hughes Jr. and Edith Polasek Hughes, who preceded her in death.

Sharon was the beloved wife of Charles Edwin Killian for 57 years. Together, they raised a family full of love and pride. She is survived by her husband, Charles; her daughters, Leigh Killian Altman (Allen) of Keller, TX, Susan Killian VanderKam (Jeffrey) of Princeton, NJ, Teresa Killian Tate (Jed) of Waynesville, NC; her son, Charles Edwin Killian, Jr. (Kristina) of Cary, NC; and her 10 grandchildren, Katie, James and Michael VanderKam, Anna and John Altman, David, Andre, and Aly Killian, and Samuel and Edie Rose Tate.

Sharon was also a loving sister to Kathy Bambach, Ed Hughes III, Dorothy Hovis, and Robert Hughes. She cherished her family deeply, and her nurturing presence will be greatly missed. She was also preceded in death by her brothers, Thomas and David Hughes.

A proud alumna of the University of North Carolina at Greensboro (UNC-G), Sharon was part of the first co-ed class at the university in 1967. She earned her B.A. in Mathematics and went on to have a rewarding 25+ year career as a Math Instructor at A.B. Technical Community College, where she was the director and guiding force at the Guided Studies Math Lab.

Sharon was a dedicated member of the Women’s Guild and Adult Choir at St. Eugene Catholic Church and was known for her involvement in the PEO group, as well as her talent for quilting and heirloom sewing. Her contributions to the community and her family were countless, and her warm heart and kind spirit left a lasting impact on all who knew her.

In addition to her work in education and community, Sharon’s passions extended to her family and her faith. She will be fondly remembered for her deep love for her family, her devotion to her church, and her tireless commitment to bettering the lives of others.

Visitation will take place from 12:00 PM until 2:00 PM on Sunday, March 2, 2025, at Morris Funeral Home in Asheville, NC. A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at St. Eugene Catholic Church in Asheville, NC, on Monday, March 3, 2025, at 10:00 AM, with Reverend Patrick Cahill officiating. Graveside services will take place on Monday, March 3, 2025, at 2:00 PM at Gilkey United Methodist Church Cemetery in Rutherfordton, NC.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be made to the UNC-Greensboro Foundation or ABCCM Helene Relief Fund in honor of Sharon's legacy.

Sharon's family takes comfort in knowing she is at peace, surrounded by love, and that her memory will continue to inspire those who had the privilege of knowing her/

------------March 3  Susan sent me the link to the Livestream of the funeral mass so in between my doctor's appointment waiting, I watched that and then later at home.  It was lovely--full of "hope," and the music was very nice.  I was touched to see Katie, James and Michael take the elements along with their mom.  I'm so glad they could be there to support Susan.  By now, the burial has also taken  place at a family plot and soon Jeff and Katie will be home--on the same flight tonight, Jeff said.  Then Charles will be alone and how hard that will be.  I could send him a card of sympathy to his house.  Susan sent me a photo of the flowers so I know they arrived OK yesterday.  

Recently I read A Grief Observed by C S Lewis in which he noted that bereavement is a stage of marriage--like a honeymoon or raising children.  Every marriage has to go through that stage if it lasts without separation or divorce.  Somehow I found that comforting.  I know one of us will have to face that stage alone--but not for a long time, I hope! 

Living Solo

 I won't post this blog until Jim is home with me again.  Not that I feel unsafe here--I was careful when we lived in Granger not to post when one or both of us were not home and there was an empty house.  But in a second floor apartment I feel pretty safe! Nevertheless, I check and double-check to see if the doors are locked and the garage door shut! 

Jim went to his conference in NYC alone.  After the wedding this weekend, I said I just didn't think I could do the city and needed to be home in my "silent retreat."  But it has been lonely.  Jim has called me regularly and I talked with a friend on the phone and saw another friend at 1 today.  

I did the "Divine Office" on my phone several times and will do so again today--joining in on the words spoken and listening to the hymns.  It is lovely and very meditative--with the Catholic church as a sponsor and spoken with a British accent.  Doing those prayers has given me a bit of focus to my long days. 

I made coffee myself which is usually Jim's gift to me every morning.  I forgot to put in the plastic filter and what a mess I made!  Even on the floor--and it is hard for me to pick up things from the floor.  I did it with difficulty and will get the "Swiffer" out later.  My meals have been simple but good enough--chicken soup yesterday and a bit leftover for today. 

Jim said this would be his last conference.  It is a bother to get somewhere--although he did Uber from home to Washington Square and that was easy and probably didn't cost all that much more than Uber to the train station, the train fare, and then a taxi to the hotel.  He is reading his paper today--and he is happy enough to see his many professional colleagues again.  But I am relieved that he said this is the last one.  Another step in the winding down of his career.  And it is not really his last one--he has agreed to be on a panel at one here at Princeton Seminary later this month--but that is just across town and not overnight.

I think it is a good thing to miss one's husband of almost 58 years.  I don't take it for granted that we can be together doing ordinary things each day.  

------------Jim is home.  He could not get an Uber--the app would not work.  So he used the hotel's car service and was just glad to have another way to travel--besides the train.  

Updates!

 My curiosity is somewhat satisfied.  I have heard from a few of my blog readers and that has been very affirming and fun.  Two readers came via Laura's blog.  Maybe I commented once with my website posted or maybe someone just searched for my name. Another reader was a friend of our son--many years ago--and it was great to hear from him again.  Still another was a friend from our former church in South Bend.  I read his mother's blog too!  And then there were a few folks that I did know about because they have commented or emailed before.  I hope a few more will be in touch via comments or email. 

One reader said he or she lived in the Netherlands and liked that I made banket and gave out chocolate letters.  I smile at that connection over the miles and told him or her that I am ordering a gift package from The Dutch Store in Grand Rapids as a present for a wedding we are going to celebrate tomorrow--a good gift for a couple who are combining households and don't really need much of anything.  I think they will enjoy Dutch cheeses, banket, and a tin of Wilhemina peppermints!  At least it will be a one of a kind gift for them.  

This is unrelated to the musings above but I am thinking how Jim and I share household duties.  We brought our income tax forms to the UPS store this morning and mailed them to an accountant in South Bend that we have used for years.  Jim did almost all the work of preparing them but I totaled our charitable contributions and sent for a tax receipt from one organization.  I fear my ignorance if I am left to do this on my own.  

Jim just took the laundry from the washer and put it in the dryer.  He started up the dishwasher.  I probably instigate the majority of household chores and certainly meal planning but he does more all the time.  

Jim has a conference in NYC next week.  He has contacted the hotel to make sure they are planning on two of us.  He will call the Uber to get us into the city on Sunday afternoon.  He made a restaurant reservation for Sunday night because the hotel said the restaurant is small and seating is limited.  I haven't decided for certain that I am going with him.  I am not mobile enough to do the big city on my own any more--so it's a matter of being alone at home or in our hotel room.  Jim wants me to go along.  To be determined Sunday afternoon!  I'll blog from  home alone or from the big city!

Happy Birthday, Jim!

We celebrated Jim's birthday on Saturday by asking Jeff and Susan to join us for lasagna and ice cream cake. That is probably Jim's favorite dinner and dessert.  However, lasagna is labor intensive so the birthday boy did his part to get the meal in the oven and on the table.  I have made a list of the layers in order next to the recipe in my notebook of favorite recipes and Jim called the layers out one by one while I put them in the pan.  The ice cream cake was a small one--but our freezer can handle only a small one so we cut it in four pieces and enjoyed every bite--no candles but we did sing Happy Birthday!  For Jeff and Susan it is just a ten minute ride from their place to ours and we are so happy that we can make that trip often! 

Jim heard from two of his siblings and also from Dan and Alex and Laura.  We have several friends who have birthdays within a day or two of his so greetings were exchanged with them.  I hope and pray that my dear husband has many more birthdays in good health and that I can celebrate them with him. 

Who Reads my Blog Posts?

30 people read my latest blog post on "I Used to be Younger."  Who are they?  I do not know.  I know who four or five of them are.  There is one dear friend who comments regularly.  Occasionally there are junk comments with someone who is selling something. I delete those solicitations.  It is quite possible that of the 30, there are many who are just scrolling looking for people to sell things to.

I have two main goals for blogging.  One is that it helps me think things through and writing helps with that.  The other is that the blog serves as a scrapbook of sorts--a way to remember our year when I make a book in January of the previous year.  A diary with photos!  It's amazing how much one can forget and it is fun to go back and look over years past.  I always enjoy seeing how much Jim likes to look over the books of yesteryear--or even just last year.

So..if you read this blog, could you leave a comment or send me an email to mvanderkam@hotmail.com?  Don't worry--I'm not going the Substack route or trying to sell anything!  I guess I am just curious!