Tuesday, April 30, 2019

My "Testimony" in Church Yesterday

I was the first of five members of our congregation to present a"testimony,"  as it was called in the bulletin, during the next five weeks of Eastertide.   Maybe it was a testimony of sorts to the power of hymn singing.  John Haas led the congregational prayer later in the service and asked that our praise be turned into joy and then into peace and then into contentment and lastly into courage.  I have a ways to go in that goal!  The parts in parentheses were not in my written script but added later. 


When Chris suggested the idea of presenting favorite hymns to the congregation, I thought it was a great idea because I love singing in church and especially in this church.   

As a congregation, we sing very well.   I’ve told many of you that my favorite part of playing the organ is not playing at all and listening to you sing acapella.  On Holy Saturday we were a small group and I wasn’t sure I dared drop out, but we were mighty thanks to the leadership of Ali, Hannah, Bruce and David and we sang Beautiful Savior without accompaniment like a heavenly chorus.

Singing hymns in church  is a unique experience. When else do we sing with others?  (Jim did remind me that we sing the National Anthem and then there is the Cubbies’ 7th inning stretch!) A good friend from my teaching years worshiped with me a few years ago and her comment afterwards was that singing next to someone is an intimate experience.  We are one body and we join our voices together in confession, lament and praise.

I wish my faith were stronger and my doubts were weaker.  But when I sing “In Christ alone my hope is found” or “O Sacred head now wounded...let me never, never outlive my love for thee.”  the music and the words find their way into my soul and I believe with my head and my heart.(Mike Rea talked about the hiddenness of God in church school this morning.  This is when God is less hidden for me.)

Now a few words about the hymn I picked.  “Fill Thou My Life oh Lord my God."

You sang this lively tune two weeks ago on Palm Sunday with the words “Hosanna, Loud Hosanna the little children sang”.  (I will be a music nerd here.) Any hymn with a Common Meter which is counting syllables 8686 can be sung with this tune--including Amazing Grace--I tried it when I was thinking about this.  Admittedly, it sounded pretty strange.

These words were written by Horace Bonar, a pastor in the Free Church of Scotland in the 19th century.  He and his wife lost five of their children and in his later years, his widowed daughter moved in with him with her five children.  He did not have an easy life yet he wrote this cheerful hymn of praise.

I love the idea of one’s whole being filled with praise "not for the lip of praise alone nor e’en the praising heart."   I especially love the phrase because as some of you know I am a fretter--"So shall each fear, each fret, each care be turned into a song."  I wish I could live up to that line. (I fretted even last night about making this presentation.)

I’ve told Jim that I want this song sung at my funeral someday.   He may or may not remember. But in any case, right now I have the joy of listening to you sing this hymn of praise and I thank you for that privilege.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

The Joy of Giving Things Away

I wrote earlier about "It's not Trash, It's a Treasure."  That saga has continued.  Yesterday I posted a photo on Facebook of the 12 piece china set I inherited from my Aunt Suzanne years ago.  When I first got it, I thought it was hopelessly old-fashioned.  But over the years, I really appreciated having matching china for large groups and I began to think it was really lovely.  But who would want it?  I am so pleased that Ann, a woman who grew up in our church and is now a translator for Wycliff who travels often to Cameroon, wanted it.  I was happy to give it to her.  It will be stored with another friend until she can come to South Bend to bring it to her home in Grand Rapids.

It was a joy to think of those dishes being used by Ann's family and friends-and I don't have to pay for them to be boxed and stored and shipped--and I don't need to sell them to strangers.

Additional items that have gone to friends are two bookshelves and a big brown rocker to Chris, son of Lisa and Gary, who was furnishing a new apartment.  A set of soup bowls went to Lisa.  My sister Lois took the crocheted bedspread made by our grandmother for our mother; she will pass it on to her daughter.   David took the beautiful wooden podium made by one of Jim's students. Linda, an artist whose work I treasure,  told me the book I gave her on the Armory Show in NYC 100 years ago was beautiful!   John and Cyn Haas want the desk for John and the canopy bed for their grand-daughter. Our cleaner, Linda, will take the snow-blower.

Two popular items were several damask napkins and my button box--both of which I was hesitant to post on Facebook.  Multiple Facebook friends expressed interest.  The napkins went to Karen in Fayetteville, Arkansas and Julie will use the button box in her Montessori classroom.

Best of all, the buyers will take anything we leave in the basement and garage and we have negotiated a price for the living room and three season room furniture.  They made us an offer and we said it was too much!  They emailed that this whole process has been a blessing and we think it has been also.

Saturday, April 27, 2019

The Body is Aging

On October 23 I blogged about too many doctors' appointments.  That was not the end of it unfortunately.  I want to record what has been going on but this will definitely not be one I will post to Facebook!

First, my eyesight is much improved.  I wear glasses to read but if the light is good enough and the print dark enough, I don't always need them.  I also wear glasses to watch sports on TV but really don't need them at other times.  Sadly, I have not yet driven at night.  The glare and concentric circles around lights are so distracting and there doesn't seem to be any way to remediate that.  I will go back to Cataract and Laser one more time before we leave just to check things out.  I do not want any more lasik surgery.

In December while in Princeton, I had an episode of very painful stomach pain that radiated into my back.  Susan said right away that it was probably gall bladder pain.  I doubted it!   But when I had another episode in St. Pete Beach after eating fried chicken, I thought she could be right.  I have not had another terrible episode again but have had several uncomfortable days over the last few months.

 I saw Dr. Blechl and he scheduled an ultrasound which showed that I did have gallstones and evidence of previous issues.  The next step was a HIDA scan -- nuclear imaging.  I had that done yesterday.  It was a two hour process and it made me thankful for health insurance when I observed the time involved and the incredible equipment.  Fasting was no fun but midway in the test, they had me eat a huge muffin and drink a glass of whole milk to see if there would be blockage.  If we were not moving, I might not have agreed to the HIDA scan because I have had no issues for a month now.  I will be very hesitant to have surgery but we shall see.  I have to wait for several days to see Dr. Blechl again.

My more troublesome issue right now is hip pain which is probably arthritis according to Kelley Penrose, our physical therapist.  Her exercises which I have done for six weeks now are not helping much.  Ibuprofen does help and I don't have pain at night--just when walking.  I try not to look like I am limping but I know I am!

So having just turned 73, I feel like my body is failing me.  Yet I know so many others who are struggling with worse issues.  However I would like to not be so aware of my body.  And I'd like not to have to be so careful about what I eat, although I have lost a few pounds which is good!

We have plenty to do these days with the move in progress but things are getting done and that whole process has been so smooth and really blessed!

-------------------May 2 update:   I had an appointment with Dr. Blechl today.  I  knew that the HIDA test was negative because I was relieved to get a call already on Monday, April 29.  No need to see a surgeon.  Maybe stones passed.  Maybe pain was not gall bladder at all.  However, an x-ray this morning showed arthritis in my left hip--not "bone on bone" yet, but definitely there.  Not fun to hear that I will probably need a hip replacement "one-two-three-four years down the road!"  For now, I can take ibuprofen with meals twice a day and if I need more, that's OK too.  Just need to make sure we get a doctor in Princeton and get a referral to an orthopedist.   Maybe a second floor apartment is not right for us after a year or two!

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Falling into Place

This is a long post but I want to preserve the memories of this big change in our lives.

When did we actually decide that this was the right move for us?  It was still tentative in December although we agreed it was a great two weeks being near our children and grandchildren.  We also agreed that the two apartment complexes we saw were possibilities for us.

  We met with Faith Fleming to talk about selling the house and before we knew it, we decided to put our house on the market.  We were tired of the responsibilities of home ownership.  The last few years had involved expensive landscaping, purchase of a new furnace and air conditioner, and the need for Orkin to keep critters from sharing our space.

In preparation for selling we called a handyman to fix up the place.  R.V. and his crew came almost immediately and worked for a day and a half to paint, put on curtain rods, install the new microwave door, put up fencing under the deck, put foam under the siding, and replace basement ceiling panels, among other things.  They were very efficient and worth the expense.

The house went on the market Saturday, March 16 , and our first showing was the next day.  By Monday we had a request not to accept any other offers until these buyers could make their offer after getting an initial loan approval.  We had two other showings scheduled--not a lot really--but we had a written offer for the asking price by March 20.

The inspections went well although we do have to do radon treatment.  There was an issue with the roof by a dubious inspector but that was easily settled.

However, finding a place in Princeton was more problematic.  With purging we became aware of how much stuff we had.  Getting a 3 bedroom apartment seemed wisest but there were none available at the two places we looked at in December.  There were plenty of places on the "other" side of Route One but that meant coping with traffic congestion especially with the one year closing of Alexander, a major cross street.

Jeff and Susan were very helpful in recommending Barclay Square and taking a look at the area.  A spacious 3 bedroom second floor apartment with a heated garage was coming available on July 13.  We applied online and with some difficulty in getting our 2018 tax returns early, we were accepted.  We signed the lease last week after taking a tour of the complex.  It looks very, very nice to us--even luxurious and spacious.

Were we going to be "homeless" for six weeks?  We were relieved to find an Airbnb near Notre Dame for at a good rate.  With the senior open golf tournament in town, even the Fairfield Inn was going for over $400 a night.

It is hard for Jim to leave Notre Dame although office space was not guaranteed for him each year.  But two wonderful professional opportunities have come through for him.  On the day that we signed the contract with the buyer, he got an invitation to be President of the Society of Biblical Literature  in 2021.  This is a very nice honor in his profession.  And then last week Martha Himmelfarb, a colleague at Princeton, arranged for Jim to have library privileges for at least one year at Princeton University, a bonus worth $800 a year.

What keeps me awake at night is thinking how to get rid of everything in this house.  The basement is full of furniture--some even left from the previous owner.  We will not have space for our living room furniture or the three season room furniture.


Monday night the buyers came over with their six sons and their in-laws.  They are very happy to be buying our house and that made me very happy too.  They are willing to take anything we leave behind.  They can have everything that is in the basement, including the ping pong table which was their first request in the contract!  They will take all the beds with one exception and they will make us an offer on the better and newer furniture in the living room and three season room.  What a relief that is to me!  We can even leave some toys for the boys, including the Rubik's cube that fascinated their oldest son with its authenticity.

There is still much to do.  I opened two cabinet doors today and they were not empty as I had thought!  More stuff that should have gone to Laura last week and didn't. We have to decide on movers but will get two estimates this week.  I don't know what will come of my gall bladder tests but I have had no symptoms for 2 1/2 weeks so maybe nothing will need to be done.  I hope so.

We are very grateful that although there are still many uncertainties, so much has fallen in place easily.  I have been thinking that we have prayed about this process and from what we know of the buyers, I am sure they have prayed about it as well.



Saturday, April 13, 2019

Grandparenting in Situ

The last few days, as did our two weeks in December, have given us a taste of being grandparents on the east coast.

Thursday we drove to Laura's in Gladwyne, Pennsylvania.  We timed it well; there were no problems once we got past the traffic lights on Route 1 in Princeton.  We were greeted enthusiastically by the kids when they got home.  A proudly held up four fingers to make sure we knew how old he was. Our 6th grader J was my height! R was very interested in "The Children's Bible" written by her mother at age 6--one of the many things I saved from my purging in South Bend.


Jim threw many pitches to S in the backyard with Laura's lovely flowering trees in the background.  One drawback--Jim did have a sore shoulder that night.  We had a great early supper prepared by G, the nanny, and then we took S to his baseball practice--a complicated route to Wynnewood guided by our iphones.  S kept up a steady conversation about his dad's new car and all its features.   When S got in the car afterwards, I told him how much we enjoyed watching him.  He observed that he saw that we were not always watching!  I admitted to having each of us walk a bit to stay warm.  Laura says he does not miss much!

I was so touched when just before we left, S was calling "Grandma" and he wanted me to see the laminated Venn diagram saved from my visiting his kindergarten tea three years ago.   We had recorded ways kindergarten was the same and different when I was young.

Then last night we went to M's studio jazz band presentation--just a short 20 minutes but he was featured as a trombonist briefly and it had me grinning a lot!  M got a ride home well after 11 pm after doing lightboard for the event and is still sleeping in this morning.  Jeff and Susan were able to leave him and go to James' choir concert in Troy, New York.  This may be our audition for their leaving M for a week in order to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary in Hawaii where Susan has a conference in the fall.

This is why I wanted to move to Princeton and it was a good reminder of that!

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Signing the Lease

Yesterday afternoon Jim and I initialed or signed an endless number of papers with all the rules for our lease for 508 Barkley Boulevard in Princeton, New Jersey.  We initialed that we would not have any pets, including goldfish.  (I missed that in reading the lease, but Jim, a more careful reader, caught it!)  We will pay our rent on time, we will not knock out walls in the apartment, we will not let our garbage accumulate, we will not smoke on the premises, etc.  The good part is that all our neighbors sign the same lease.

Jeff offered to meet us at the lease signing and that really made us feel good; it was one more way that he and Susan have welcomed us to Princeton.  We met with Eboni who gave us a tour of the Devon, another second floor apartment,  and a tour of the clubhouse.  We couldn't see the Hampshire II because it is still occupied.

The rooms we saw were spacious.  There were bonuses like drawers in the walk-in closet and a pantry in the kitchen.  The heated attached garage had ample storage space for bikes and boxes of stuff ranging from Christmas paraphernalia to the letters and journals and photo albums I have saved.

The clubhouse was luxurious with amenities we may never use--the media room, the sauna, and the billiard table.  The highlight for me was the Yamaha baby grand piano located in the piano room.  I could shut the doors and play in privacy--although I have a feeling the sound would carry.  The piano was in tune but had some bass notes that lingered so it will need some work.  Eboni assured me they would have it taken care of before we moved in.  I saw her record it on her phone!  Now Laura can have my piano or we will sell it in South Bend.

The complex was far bigger than it appeared from the road but we are on the very edge of it.  I think, although it is hard to tell for sure, that we will look out on a row of trees from our living room and bedroom.  One of them was flowering--Princeton definitely gets an earlier spring than South Bend.

Susan asked me at dinner if I saw any drawbacks now that we have visited the apartments.  I have a bit of concern about the rather ramshackle building on the other side of the trees--who lives there and will that be a problem?  But otherwise I think we are both reassured about the decision we have made and we are excited about it. It will definitely be more luxurious than anything we have ever had before.

Turning over the deposit and first partial month's rent was a bit daunting.  Jeff reminded us that a year's rent is more than we paid for our first house in Raleigh, North Carolina in 1976.  Granted that was a small ranch with only one bathroom, no garage and no basement.   He remembered that I told him later that I felt I was selling my life away.  I know I lay awake that night thinking our student days were over--we had a mortgage!  Well, last night I slept just fine maybe knowing we don't have a mortgage!  We are not making a permanent commitment.  After a year we may decide that we need to buy again, but if we do, it will be a maintenance free situation.  Princeton taxes may help us decide to continue renting however.

What an adventure we are undertaking in our "old" age.  It has gone well so far.  The last inspection report came in yesterday for our house and there are no termites.  Everything should proceed well now.  We'll get the radon situation fixed and the house clear of furniture and find a place to live in June and then we're off in July to Princeton, our new home.

-----------------Just booked an airbnb condo very near Notre Dame for the month of June.

Monday, April 1, 2019

Finding a Place in Princeton

Earlier this morning we went to FedEX Office and got help from a very pleasant clerk in scanning our financial documents to send to Stephanie at Barkley Square in Princeton.  We applied for a 3 bedroom apartment online last Friday. We are not quite settled however because Stephanie needs our 2018 income tax returns which we don't have and I guess 2017 returns won't do.

We will not be able to get the apartment until July 13.  We will need to be out of this house on June 1.  I don't know what we will do in those six weeks.  We both thought of making that our time to go to the United Kingdom and have Jim do his RH Charles research but Jim is having second thoughts about the confusion that might ensue if we are not in the States at that time.  We will figure that out later.

We felt that we had to make a decision this week when we realized that there were virtually no 3 bedroom apartments available on the Princeton side of Route 1.  Avalon should have one coming up today but it is only 1299 square feet whereas the one we have applied for is 2000 square feet.  Barclay Square is  about four miles from downtown Princeton but it is not a congested route across Route 1.  Avalon is right in town but is more expensive and you even have to pay a monthly parking fee.

Hampshire II is on the second floor with no one above us.  I'm not keen on steps with my hip bothering me but it's only one flight.  So much space means we don't have to get rid of as much stuff--furniture, books, memorabilia, maybe even the piano and dining room set.  Jim can have a study; I can have an extra bedroom.

Susan has been so helpful in checking out places and she and Jeff sent photos yesterday.  We feel reassured to have a place in mind and if we don't like it, the commitment is not permanent.  But I have a feeling we will enjoy the luxury of walk-in closets, gas fireplaces, heated garage, quartz counter tops, etc.  There is a walking and biking trail very nearby that can take us one mile along Lake Carnegie to Kingston where there is at least a post office, a coffee shop, and a few restaurants.

It's all a very big adventure and most of the time I am excited.  I'm glad Jim and I can do this together.  Even he is waking up early at times contemplating what has to be done.  I have been surprisingly calm at least in the last few weeks when decisions have been made to go ahead with the process.