A Very Sociable Week

 I read advice for those of us who are very senior citizens emphasizing the importance of social contact to prevent dementia and maybe just to encourage longevity.  Seven years ago we left a community where we had many friends and acquaintances and a church where we literally knew everyone.  We made a move to be closer to children and grandchildren and have not been sorry.  But it takes time to feel a part of a new community and a new church.  This week I have been reminded of our progress in that regard!

Sunday while waiting for Jim to park the car and join me in the pew, two people came up to me to chat.  Later we were joined in our pew by a young family we had gotten to know.  We met all of these folks through joining small study groups over the last few years.  We did our part to feel a part of a large congregation and it was good.

Sunday afternoon our former neighbors came over for a happy hour.  We have gotten together with them several times since they moved away.  Best of all, we celebrated their wedding with them over a year ago.  

Tuesday evening we went to a lecture at our church as a part of a series commemorating the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.  We sat with friends and then walked to a restaurant in Palmer Square to have dinner together.  These folks have invited us to their home more than once and we have enjoyed restaurant meals with them also.  Again, we met them through small groups at church—twice when we were hosts.

Then this morning, old friends came over for coffee and muffins.   These were friends from Raleigh days with whom we have been able to renew friendships.  We raised children together years ago and now we have grown children and grandchildren to enjoy.  Again, they are part of our church community.

A new friend of mine had surgery this week.  I am past the stage of my life of cooking meals for folks, but we went to Trader Joe’s and bought several of our favorite items and left them at her doorstep along with a TJ’s bouquet of flowers.  She has referred to this kind of purchase as “assisted living” in our own style and so it is.  She said she felt spoiled eating our favorite coffee cake and my favorite chocolate mints.  

Jim has his usual partners for golf each week and plays with one gentleman whose scores are almost the same as his.  They keep score but it is a friendly competition and they are good partners.

So are we preventing dementia and encouraging longevity?  Maybe so, but at least we are happy to have new friends and sociability in our lives.

Lamorial: Everything They’ll Need

 I assume Lamorial is a play on Tutorial or Memorial.  I saw it online and paid my money and had it sent to me, knowing that sometimes these online purchases are a big mistake.  I don’t think this one is.  The idea is to get all your passwords, accounts, access—all in one place.  So that if I outlive Jim, I can get into our accounts.  I find it all overwhelming and maybe this will help.

I have set a goal of doing one page each day.  It is not fun and we both get a bit tense about it—with Jim trying to find his user IDs and passwords which are all foreign words—they are nonsensical for me.  I have a few user IDs myself and passwords—and had to retrieve what I had from the Indiana Retired Teachers Fund where I have a small pension.  I had to create a new password because I had not accessed it online before.

Fortunately, we can skip the mortgage page and debts.  There are several bank accounts and two credit cards of which I use only one—but it is good to have a backup one and Jim does use that one.  We have some monthly subscriptions but one or the other of us would probably continue those.  (Amazon Prime, NYT) and a couple of automatic charity withdrawals. 

We have a few more pages to go and then have to find a good place to put this important volume, a place that our executor Jeff can retrieve it when we are both gone.   I am thinking that maybe the next step will be to try to access each account to see if those user IDs and passwords are accurate.

It is a painful process but probably worth doing.  There are instructions as to what to do first.  There are places to put down phone numbers for our financial advisors (one local, one in South Bend).