The Year of the Bunny Cake

 

I read the historian Heather Cox Richardson every morning--the Substack posts she does for the previous day.  She was far more optimistic in her year end post than she was last year.  I would like to be more optimistic too. At least this year I feel like writing an end of year post.  Last year I waited until January 1 to do so because I was not up to it the night before.

So why do I want to call it "The Year of the Bunny Cake?" With the help of two grandchildren, I made a bunny cake for our family Easter celebration. Since then, every time our precious three year old grandson sees me, he asks if I brought a bunny cake.  I did do so one more time last summer but subsequently we have made a turkey cake and a Christmas tree cake.  He even mentioned "bunny cake"  when he saw me on Facetime this week.  It's his birthday celebration on Monday but I will let his parents figure out the right birthday cake for him.  But what a joy it is to have a little one who can be so happy about a small delight!   I have felt some pressure to continue a tradition that seems important! 

There is much to be thankful for today.  We are comfortable in our lovely apartment.  We see our children and grandchildren regularly--especially the ones who live here in Princeton.  Jeff and Susan have made us feel so welcome here and often include us in their family dinners or celebrations.

We have had a fairly healthy year.  I am thinking that one medical provider I have says my condition is "stable."  Another one wrote on my portal "Keep up the good work."  Hooray for that encouragement even as I wish I saw fewer doctors!  May it continue!  Sadly, however, Jim and I are both keeping our dentist in business as we have had major work done this past year and will have more next year.  Jim has had very good news from his cancer doctors.  His eyes continue to be a concern but his doctor sees nothing wrong internally.  He just wishes he could figure out why some days his vision is clear and on other days it is so hard to read.

Jim finished one major project--the RH Charles biography.  There has been lots of communication with Oxford University Press--both from Oxford itself and from India where the actual publishing is taking place.  The volume should be in his hands soon.  Jim was honored by being nominated to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and will be inducted into that illustrious group next fall.  He has been able to play golf all year and might even be able to go again next week if the mild temperatures hold. 

We have really made progress in becoming more involved at our church--Nassau Presbyterian Church.  Leading a small group for five weeks this fall in our apartment has meant that we have been able to greet many more folks at church and have been able to contribute to the life of our church.  It is good to feel less like strangers there. 

As we consider the world outside our own little world, we are still concerned about Covid and continue to wear our masks in public.  We are fully vaccinated and happy that most venues are open again--stores, libraries, walking trails, churches, and restaurants. The hospitals are coping unlike the early days of overrun emergency rooms and morgues. 

Zelensky speaks to 
Congress

 The war in Ukraine continues to take place with terrible suffering as winter comes on.  The prospect of peace is not good.  We worry about the future of the nuclear plants there and the threat of nuclear war.  Immigration and inflation are continuing difficulties for our leaders.  And when will the US ever do anything about the terrible continuing gun violence with shootings at schools and clubs and even supermarkets? The first law in years was passed to increase background checks but so much more needs to be done.

We were concerned about the November mid-term elections and the future of our democracy but many good people were elected and some extremist and unqualified people eliminated. (Dr. Oz in Pennsylvania; Hershel Walker in Georgia)  We watched every single one of the January 6 hearings and wait to see what comes of their recommendation that Donald Trump be indicted for insurrection.  A special prosecuter is working on various issues including the classified material illegally brought to Trump's home (Mar a Lago) as well as the January 6 concerns.  Other courts are looking into Trump's attempt to influence the elections in Georgia ("I just want to find 11,780 votes") and his tax issues. Trump has already announced he is running for president in 2024.  We hope other Republicans present themselves as alternatives and that the Democrats can come up with a good candidate as well.  We think Biden has done a very good job as President but wonder about the wisdom of running again at his age.  

So what will 2023 bring?  We pray for a healthy and safe year for our family and friends.  I hope there will be happy topics for blogging even as we age into our 77th year.  

Christmas 2022

Our tabletop tree

 It's not Christmas Day yet but our celebrations are mostly over.  Dan and Alex came for dinner on December 10--a pre-Christmas visit because they were leaving for Costa Rica with friends on December 20.  We had our version of what my friend calls "assisted living" when instead of cooking for eight of us including the Princeton VKs, we ordered takeout meals from Olive Garden.    We put the leaf into the dining room table which is rarely used for eating and used the good dishes and silverware--also rarely used.

Then last night we drove to Gladwyne for a Christmas dinner and time for gifts at Laura and Michael's home. Jeff and Susan left briefly to get James at the Philly train station so there were 15 of us in all!   Again, little Henry greeted me with asking if we were going to make a bunny cake.  He was reassured that we would do a Christmas tree cake.  

We had a great dinner of ham and beef tenderloin with an abundance of food.  There was also an abundance of gifts.  I had wondered earlier in the day where I had hidden the crossword puzzle book I was going to give to Jim.  I couldn't find it anywhere and our apartment isn't all that large!  Well, it showed up--in the package wrapped for grandson James along with the iron skillet I had purchased from Amazon!  He willingly gave it up and Jim brought it home.  

Rolls by Susan and Michael

It was very windy enroute to Gladwyne and very, very cold (around 10 degrees) on the way home.  We were relieved to get back into our warm apartment.  It would not have been a good night for car trouble--or the flat tire we had a few weeks ago.  

Almost the oldest grandchild 
with the youngest

There will be just one church service tomorrow morning at ten although there are several tonight.  We are invited for Christmas dinner at Jeff and Susan's house tomorrow so the celebration will continue.  We are feeling very thankful for our family and the joy we can have when we are together.

----------December 26--We didn't make it to the Christmas pageant at Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church on Christmas Eve but we were able to see Gabriel (Ruth) and a wise man (Alex) via livestream from our warm living room.  We also worshipped with our own church via livestream both on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.  It is bitterly cold in our area but we don't have snow like they do in the mid-West.  In fact, we are doing our part to conserve energy by turning down the thermostat and doing a cold water laundry.  

NFL and NBA

I have written only one blog so far this month.  I will probably do one about Christmas celebrations but otherwise there has not been much I have wanted to write about.  

Jim suggested writing about watching TV sports because that is a big part of our lives.  In fact when I complain about seeing the same commercials over and over,  I need to remember that is a result of watching so much TV night after night. 

So what can I say about our TV habits?  I have admired the longevity of Tom Brady and the skill of Baker Mayfield as they have come through in the last few minutes of some exciting games to pull their NFL teams to victory.  I have not admired Aaron Rodgers even if he too has been able to play well for many years because I have resented his refusal to be vaccinated for Covid.  Jim always hopes the games will be played in snowy conditions and we have seen a few where the field is obliterated under a white blanket.  One of the funniest scenes the TV crews loved was of a very creative snowman sitting next to a fan in the bleachers.  

Jim comments on the games and I try to understand what he is saying but much of it is lost on me.  Jim often makes an observation and then the announcers will say the same thing.  I tell him he could have a second career as a sportscaster!  

I like to watch Notre Dame teams play because their players are somewhat familiar to me and their coaches certainly are.  Jim finds it more distressing because he is frustrated when they play poorly.  I try to reassure him that the reputation of the theology department at Notre Dame is not dependent on the football or basketball team's winning seasons but I am not sure he is convinced!  

Sometimes I wonder about the morality of watching such a brutal sport.   Jim said that the Pro Bowl this year is going to be flag football!  I wonder how that will work out but I understand the desire to minimize injuries when so much money depends on staying healthy.   

And that is just football.  We enjoyed watching the Mets in baseball but they are losing so many players that it won't be the same next year.  We haven't really chosen an NBA team.  Last year we were happy to cheer for a few college teams--Rutgers and St. Peter's--who were often on in this local market.  

And then there is golf which Jim enjoys watching--even if the match is over and it's a replay and he knows who won.  I find it pretty dull although it can be relaxing at least.  

I do ask at some point each day what will be on for our viewing pleasure in the evening.  There is always something unlike the early Covid days when there were no live sports.  In our retirement we have plenty of leisure time and it is something we can enjoy together.  

January 5 update:  On Monday night, January 2, Damar Hamlin fell backwards after tackling another player.  He needed CPR and it was administered on the field with the Buffalo Bills players standing around him.  An ambulance took him to a trauma center.  The game was suspended after just six minutes into the game. The crowds went home. Amazingly, three days later, he is "neurologically intact" but still on a ventilator.  He wrote asking if there was a win and was told Yes because his life was a win.  It was such a reminder of how dangerous football is.  

We are Outliving our Teeth

 My mouth has been too much on my mind in the last few weeks.  It started with an ache in the back bottom molar.  After three days of listening to my complaints, Jim encouraged me to call our dentist in the morning.  They had a cancellation and asked if I could be there within an hour.  That didn't give me any time to think about it.  Jim had a phone interview so I had to drive myself which is a rare thing for me.  

After an x-ray I could tell the dentist had bad news.  He said it was an abscess and  I needed a root canal.  I asked about just pulling it out and he said that was an option but then I would need to go to an oral surgeon.  I didn't think about it any further.  I was sitting in his chair and I told him to go for it and do the root canal.  An hour and a half later I paid a "down payment" of $733 and drove home.  We picked up an antiobiotic which I choked down for the next ten days.  The pain was gone. 

I had a followup appointment two weeks later but I got very stressed because I didn't know what was going to happen next.  I didn't want to commit to a crown if I was going to lose the tooth eventually--which he had said could happen.  However, he said that things looked good so we should proceed.  After another hour and $1142 later, I went home with an uncomfortable mouth but no need for more antibiotics.  That night I was emailed follow up instructions.   If the front office had sent such an email after my first appointment, it would have eased a lot of my stress.  Someone probably made a mistake.  Information is helpful! (later--it probably was overlooked because my appointment was an emergency one--the dentist and his assistant will look out for that for others--I was glad I said something)

We don't have dental insurance as such although the office will submit the bill to our  Medicare Advantage insurance and we might get some reimbursed.  I have an appointment for a temporary crown and then they will do a permanent crown.  

I asked what was the cause of the abscess and he said it was probably a crack in an old filling.  There is nothing one can do about that.  Jim has had more than one tooth crack in recent years. His last episode involved an oral surgeon and a bridge which cost well over $3000.   We are getting old and our teeth are not lasting as long as we are.  A positive way of looking at that is we have lived a long life.  But it is uncomfortable and expensive to be spending so much time in a dentist's chair.  

Thanksgiving 2022

 

Fourteen Vanderkam-Conways gathered around a table full of so much good food!   Michael was home from college and James was back from his apartment in Maryland and his first permanent job.  Katie lives in Princeton in graduate student housing so it was an easy trip for her. Laura and Michael were there with their busy family of seven.  Ruth read our traditional Psalm 100 and we all said "God is great" holding hands around the table.  We missed Dan and Alexandra who were flying home from their month in Columbia tonight. 

Ruth had asked if a bunny cake would be appropriate for Thanksgiving as it is has been for Easter.  I looked for a turkey cake idea instead and came up with one from Betty Crocker.   I baked the circle pan and cupcake at home and Ruth and I put them together with lots of frosting.  Henry helped put in the feathers (Pepperidge Farm pirouettes) and candy corn.  We were pleased with the result!   

My other contribution to the fun was the glowsticks which lit up the backyard when we took a break between dinner and dessert.  The kids threw them in the air and they really were magical in their neon colors.  

And now we are home in our apartment and thankful that it is just a ten minute drive away instead of the 13 hour trip it used to be to get together for a holiday.  

Four Days; 1,604 miles apart

I wrote part of a blog and decided it was too introspective to post.  So here is another record of my almost four days alone--a little more suitable for sharing with the few readers I have. 

I did not make a silent retreat.  I chatted with Jim several times.  That was sometimes frustrating especially when he could not hear me and I could hear him just fine.  (update--I suggested that the volume was down on the side of his phone--turning that up helped!) The two hour time difference was tricky. But it was good to be able to talk and even do spelling bee together.  We learned that you can look at the game and chat if you put your phone on speaker.  I can't get to "genius" without Jim! 

Using "divineoffice.org" I did the liturgy of the hours several times--not all day long but at least two or three times a day.  I found it comforting and good company.

Susan asked me if I would like to go out for dinner with both Jim and Jeff out of town.  Katie and I joined Susan at Brickhouse Tavern and Tap on Friday.    I posted a three generation photo on Facebook and it was fun to get the reaction of my Facebook friends.  All three of the men in our lives were on trips out of New Jersey. 

Susan also said they could go to Nassau Church with me on Sunday morning.  I suggested instead going to her church, St. Paul's, and that too was a great break in the solitude.  Jeff helped me with the liturgy and it was good to be there in a congregation packed with people of all ages and good to sing next to my son. 

 My sister was in touch with me a few times which I appreciated.  Every email that came in during these few days was important to me.  

When I was a young and very busy mother I said that the curse of my old age might be solitude because I craved time alone so much at that stage of life.  These four days have not been a curse but I have to admit to being lonely and bored.  I really miss my husband.  The other end of the couch is empty.  The other side of the bed is empty. No one is making comments on the sports I have been watching.  I hope and pray that we are reunited tonight and that we have many more years together. May my next post be one for Thanksgiving--with family and food to be thankful for! 

Going our Separate Ways for a Few Days

Jim is heading to Denver for his annual Society of Biblical Literature convention in a few days.  I have gone with him in recent years and he wanted me to go with him again this year.  I was very reluctant to go and have decided to stay home.  

Why do I not jump at the chance to go somewhere?  I don't want to fly unless it is for a very good reason.  I hope to fly to Florida in January although at times this year that was not a sure thing.  I don't like receptions standing with drinks in hand and trying to chat in noisy rooms. It's hard to find places to eat when there are literally thousands of conventioneers.  We went to Denver a few years ago for the convention and there was not much to do within walking distance there.  Maybe it's the Covid thing as well--having to wear masks and realizing that crowded places are super-spreader events. I'm thinking too that we are not spending the $600 plus for my plane ticket--but we spent more than that for my root canal deposit yesterday.  However, that was not an optional cost! 

If the weather Friday is terrible, who knows?  Jim may still stay home with me.    Travelling with a partner is always easier--with one more set of eyes to find things.  In that way, I feel badly not to help my husband out. 

Being home alone for a few nights and days?  I could get pretty lonely.  I am trying to make some plans.  Susan is on her own one of the days and asked if I wanted to join her for dinner out somewhere.  Absolutely!  I said if she drove, I would pay.  She said that sounded like a deal!  I was thinking of Alex's going on a silent retreat earlier this fall and thought these days could be my silent retreat.  Maybe I could make it a time of a spiritual discipline of reading or listening to the liturgy of the hours.  I found an app to use on my phone for that purpose.  I know I could do that at any time but I might be more motivated when I am alone. 

With Jim's help, I am making sure I know how to do the things he always does around here.   I started the dishwasher yesterday.  I turned the furnace off last night.  Jim asked if my key opened the door without getting stuck and it did.  He wondered if I had cash and we visited the PNC ATM.  There is enough gas in the car.  I had to drive on my own yesterday anyway and that was reassuring--because I rarely do so.  Our newly leased car has its idiosyncrasies and its beeps are a bit unnerving.  Plus it turns off when one brakes--to save gas.  But that too is disconcerting when one thinks the engine has killed every time one comes to a stop.  

I remember years ago being in New York City all alone for several days.  Jim was in Japan as I recall so there was no contact between us.  I felt a bit lost and lonely at first but then began to keep a running commentary in a journal and that made me feel as if there was someone to listen!  I'm sure I'll be writing in my journals again.  And I probably will do another blog to update this stay-at-home adventure.

Jim and I can still chat and text and do Spelling Bee with our iphones even if we are miles apart.  We will be happy to see each other again next Monday.  I hope and pray we can be safely reunited then.

Hosting a Church Small Group

 We have appreciated being members of Lenten small groups at Nassau Church for the last three years.  I have written about that before.  A lasting benefit has been that when we have been worshipping at Nassau the last few weeks in person once again,   it has been good to get over the feeling of being a stranger.

So when Corrie Berg, an assistant pastor who is in charge of education, asked us to lead a group this fall, we thought about it--I prayed about it--and we decided to give it a try.  Our group has now met three times with two more sessions left.  We meet on Tuesday evenings from 7 pm to 8:30 pm.  This week there were eight of us with three missing and calling in their absences.  

Our topic is "The End of the Main Line?"  The question mark is important because not surprisingly, our main line church would like to think optimistically.  We read a Bible passage from Acts and study that briefly.  The following week the sermon is based on that passage.  The first week we studied a Pew research survey on church membership showing declines from 2007 to 2014.  Then we read Fosdick's famous sermon from the 1920s on "Shall the Fundamentalists Win?"  and Martin Luther King's "Letter from a Birmingham Jail."  Our adult education class led by Heath Carter of Princeton Seminary has been based on those readings. There are questions in a guide based on the readings as well as opening questions to help us get acquainted.

Our group includes one person who was christened in our church in the 1960s and one person who joined two weeks ago.  Most of the group are long term members but they don't know each other which is not surprising in such a large congregation.  There are no awkward silences in our discussion.  Everyone has contributions to make.  We have been thankful to have had this opportunity to do something for others in our church and once again, to get to know others better. 

Adventures with Technology

 I had been having issues with my laptop telling me that my connection to wifi was weak and even buffering at times once I was connected.  If I went into Jim's study, the problem was solved so clearly getting closer to the router was the answer.

But the problem was exasperated when we had continual buffering trying to watch NFL on Thursday evenings on Amazon Prime Video on our living room TV.

So we made an appointment using our xfinity app and met with a young man at the xfinity store at Mercer Mall last Friday.  He gave us a new router with more speed (and only $3 a month more) and a new box for the bedroom TV.  He sent us off with what we consider scary words, "It's very easy to hook them up."  

Jim began the process and almost immediately I lost all wifi connections.  The "vanderkam" option was gone. I felt lost without my connection to the world out there! It was almost a panicky feeling! 

 As it turned out, something got unplugged accidentally.  Jim patiently worked on setting up the new router.  When it asked for a cord that we didn't have, he boldly skipped that step.  And...amazingly the connection worked and my laptop is connecting far better even in the room far from the router.  Now the test will be Thursday evening.  Can we watch the big game without the buffering?

Jim also hooked up the new box and remote in the bedroom so we can get more channels there.  And that too is working just fine! 

I give my husband a great deal of credit for staying patient and following directions.  I give xfinity credit for good instructions for the most part.  

October 29:  Thursday night football was still buffering.  We watched on Jim's laptop instead of our large TV.  Susan suggested a firestick.  Maybe that will be our next step.  

Meanwhile Susan helped Jim set up Adobe Acrobat Reader because Oxford University Press said that is what he has to use to look at the page proofs of his R H Charles manuscript.  She skillfully downloaded it and gave him instructions in how to use it.  To be continued...!  

One Big Adventure; One Little Adventure

Laura's latest book has just been released--Tranquility by Tuesday. Much of what she proposes is not relevant for me at this stage of my life in retirement. But her idea of one big adventure each week and one little adventure is something I need to adopt.

 

So yesterday we had our "one big adventure." We hoped to see more autumn color than we did along busy highways but we had a memorable time nevertheless. We drove about 75 miles to the Brandywine Museum of Art in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania and enjoyed seeing the Wyeth art featured there. We walked a bit along the river. We left home around 1:15 and were back home around 7:15 having decided to make it a day trip and not an overnight outing. 

 Learning about the Wyeth family of three generations of artists was interesting. In fact, Jim splurged on a biography of Andrew Wyeth purchased in the museum shop so our visit will be extended as we read more about them. We were surprised to see several works featuring African-American models who lived in Chadds Ford. 

 We had an early supper of drinks and sandwiches at Chadds Ford Tavern on our way home. I was disappointed when the clerk at the museum acted as if there was no village of Chadds Ford to walk around. She may have been wrong because I think there is a historic district. Maybe we'll go back again and spend the night.

 In any case it was a great outing and because it was six hours or more it qualifies as one of Laura's "big adventures." Tomorrow we hope to celebrate Laura's book at her book launch party at her home--a possible "little adventure."

Covid--2 1/2 years and Still Here

 

View from our little balcony

I blogged only two times in September.  Life is very routine and there is nothing to blog about.  That is probably good!  But I have been thinking about how Covid is still a factor in our lives.  Except....this afternoon we shopped at Target and we both forgot to put on our masks.  Mine was on my wrist--where it doesn't do any good!  Jim's was in his pocket.  When we noticed our lapse, we put them on.  Target was the first place we wore masks 2 1/2 years ago--when we saw the signs on the door telling us to do so via NJ advisories.  Target seems like such a big, open store that we don't feel too concerned about our forgetting. 

We both had another Covid booster on Monday at the CVS in Plainsboro. This was our 5th Covid shot.  Unlike our first shots,  scheduling was very easy on the CVS app on my iphone.  Jim read me the various Medicare and prescription drug numbers as I filled out the required applications for each of us. We texted the pharmacy when we were in the parking lot and they let us know when we could come in to the store.  There was a very short wait while the technician was helping someone else.  She said she gave 200 shots in a day!  Jim had no reaction to his booster.  I felt chilled and a bit nauseous and tired all day on Tuesday but was just fine again on Wednesday.  

Last Sunday our pastor was unable to worship at church because he got Covid--probably after a presbytery meeting in which one delegate let everyone know that he was positive afterwards.  An associate pastor read his sermon.  A good friend back in South Bend is isolating in her home and is frustrated by a continued positive home test.  She is tired of isolating but doesn't want to expose her family.  The days of worrying about ventilators and personal protective equipment and available hospital beds are gone but Covid is not.  So we are still careful when we remember to be careful!  May we be spared--we are thankful that we have been so far! 

Peace and Quiet

Barclay Square is in the middle of a roofing project.  This week it is the turn of Building 5, our building.  It is noisy.  It is incredibly noisy and that is probably accentuated by being in a second floor apartment.  We had a key to Jeff and Susan's house and I asked if I could crash there for some of the time this week.  I made it through the first two days when the roofers were mostly at the far end of our building.   But today at 7:57 am the banging started overhead as they stripped the old shingles off.  Our doors were covered with tarp and so were the windows.  We had already moved our plants and deck chair to safety.

Jim is able to block out the noise as he keeps working on his projects.  I am not able to do so and thus am so happy to be sitting quietly in Jeff and Susan's living room.  I have books and I can still get wifi here from past visits.  I just sat on their deck for a bit to get my daily Vitamin D--impossible to do at our place yesterday with workmen all around us.  I have brought along a lunch although they offered me some options from their freezer.  I have checked their crockpot for them and will follow instructions of turning it to high later in the afternoon.  

Jim will golf this afternoon so he will be gone anyway.  It's a long day to be away from home but I am thinking it is better than tolerating the pounding.  It will only get worse when they install the new shingles.  I hope today is the worst of it because they were right overhead this morning.  They finish up for the day by 5:00 or so.  

We had to park our car away from our garage this week because access was unavailable with shingles waiting to be cleared away.  That is not a major problem because there are visitors' parking places around the complex.  

I am glad we are not paying for a new roof although I guess we are paying for it with our rent increase.  If it were a single family dwelling the noise would not be going on all week--and even for weeks when there are sounds from Building 4 and Building 6 which are just not as bad when they are not directly overhead.  

Our Sporting Life

 We watch a lot of sports on TV.  When I complain about seeing the same commercials over and over again (Draft King, Progressive, Amazon) I realize that the reason is that we watch a lot of sports. 

 We have been watching the Mets and I have become a Mets fan because we can get them on SNY--Sports New York--our local broadcast.  And now NFL has started up and there has been golf although the PGA is done for a while.   Jim still tunes in to the Golf Channel and gets the Asian tour or the Champions (seniors) or the women who are still playing.  Not the infamous LIV events however.  I wonder if they will be broadcasted at some point and if we would boycott them.

The Mets--It has been fun to watch their great pitchers--DeGrom and Scherzer--although injuries kept them out at various times.  We chuckle at Vogelbach, the large designated hitter whose running style is not his strength.  In fact, once Jim pondered if Nido would bunt and I was proud to point out that Vogelbach was on third and a bunt was unlikely!  The last few nights the Cubs have taken on the Mets and won.  I think Jim is still a Cubs fan; my allegiance has changed.

And then there is Notre Dame football--two losses already this year.  It was understandable that they lost to number two-ranked Ohio State in an away game in a very noisy stadium.  But last week they lost to Marshall in a home game.  Poor Marcus Freeman, the first head coach to have a 0-3 record at ND ever!  And now Buchner, their quarterback, is injured and out for four months.

A crisis is averted we hope when during the NFL Kickoff game last Thursday, our audio feed suddenly changed to Spanish.  We followed some Google instructions and managed to get all the on screen instructions in Spanish too!  Jim chatted with a very helpful xfinity person on Friday and when the audio switched to Spanish on Sunday, he was able to correct it on his own.  Why is the TV doing these arbitrary changes?  We do not know!  It's only on NBC and only during football--so far at least.

We happily watch all these events from the comfort of our living room with our large TV screen.  We don't envy anyone sitting in the stadiums fighting traffic to get to the games and sitting in what could be super spreader Covid events.  We're glad we can be sports fans together--although it would be nice to be cheering for winners.  

A friend mentioned that I had not been blogging much lately.  Maybe this topic is a sign of our rather limited life these days.  And maybe limited is just fine for now!

A Family Celebration

 

Yesterday we celebrated our 55th wedding anniversary by going out to eat with our son and his wife and two of their children. The third child was beginning his first week of college.  We actually were also celebrating Susan's May birthday but for various reasons that was postponed.

We met at Metro North on Alexander Avenue and decided in spite of the heat to eat outside on their patio.  We were shown to a large corner table and it almost felt like eating in the woods.  It was quiet except for the far off sound of the Princeton Dinky, the train from the town to Princeton Junction.  

It was really wonderful to think that we could celebrate with three generations and a great meal in a lovely location--and all just a ten minute ride from our apartment. There was plenty to talk about--some reminiscing of course but also updates on the college freshman and the plans for the college graduate's move to Maryland and his first job and apartment.  Who would have thought 55 years ago that someday our family would include three children, three spouses, and eight grandchildren?  

The Unfiltered Joy of a Two-year-old

 

Our trip home
into the sunset

Our children were born in 1972, 1978, and 1984.  No, we did not plan to have children exactly six years apart.  And in fact, they really are spaced 6 3/4 years between the first two and 5 1/2 between the last two.  Years ago, a rather rude and bold parent at one elementary school asked me if the first child was with my first husband.  Yes, he was--but so was the second and the third.  My first and only husband.

Subsequently, our grandchildren also differ in age greatly.  Today the oldest grand-daughter is visiting her aunt and uncle and their family at Ocean Grove.  She is coming with her boyfriend and her only female cousin was very interested in just how they met and how long they had been dating.  I wonder if she will ask directly!  

Two of our grandsons are moving out of their parents' home this month--one off to college and one off to his first permanent job.  Our son and his wife will have an empty nest.  Our daughter and her husband do NOT have an empty nest--there are five children ranging in age from two to fifteen plus the new dog.

This blog post is inspired by the joy that the two year old shared with his grandma yesterday.  I noticed earlier in the week when we visited them in Ocean Grove that the bubble makers they had were out of bubbles so I bought a large container of them at Dollar Tree this week.  What great fun H had in blowing bubbles and chasing bubbles and popping bubbles on the grass.  It doesn't take much to create lots of excitement.

Another father and son had made a large mound of sand on the beach and when they left, they kindly told H and his grandpa that it was available for play.  This pile of sand was a priceless gift for an hour--climbing, smoothing, moving it, making roads on it.  The best sand-box ever!  

I brought along a blender to finish up the last minute preparations for the watermelon gazpacho soup I had made.  That caused many questions about just how that would work--plugging it in, pushing the button, making noise, and mixing it all up.  When it was suppertime,  I called H into the kitchen to watch the process.  When I pushed the button, he squealed with delight.  I don't usually get that kind of reaction when I blend our smoothies at home!   He even was willing to try a bit of gazpacho but that was not to his liking! 

Of course, the opposite can also be true for a two-year-old.  When things are not going right, one usually knows loud and clear. But yesterday was a happy day for this two-year-old and that made his grandparents happy too! 

My Home Library

All the Keepers!

 My project for the day was to sort through the shelves of books in the yellow bedroom and find books to donate to the Princeton Public Library.  It was not an easy process.  I pulled all the books off the shelves and put them on the bed.  I knew that if I just looked at them on the shelves, they would stay on the shelves.

I took a handful of books at a time into the living room and looked up the titles on Goodreads.  That reminded me if I had already read the book--and rated it.  Several of them were rated five stars so I determined they were keepers.  I might like to read them again.  Several others were shelved as "abandoned" and in some cases I decided it was time to pass them on.

Then there were the great majority of books.  These were books that I had enjoyed and might like to read again or books that I had bought and never got into.  So they went back on the shelves until the next time I decide I need to find more shelf room.

I spend quite a bit of time looking for the next good book to read.  The problem is that when I find one that I really appreciate, it is hard to get into the next book.  And I like to have one book on hand at all times.  I read Ann Patchett's Truth and Beauty this week and the loss of her friend at the end left me mourning and unable to pick up another book right away. 

I read too many mysteries.  They are great escape reading but when I get involved in one it is difficult to put it down and do anything else.  And so many of them are sad stories of evil and dysfunction.  At least justice is usually served--not always--but usually there is resolution and someone pays the price for crime.  I have the time to read as much as I want but have felt as if this murder mystery reading is somewhat of an addiction.  So even if I have enjoyed volume one of the Jeri Howard Mystery Anthology and have volumes two through five on my Kindle app waiting for me, I think I will hold off a few days!  

Just a few to donate

 Maybe I will reread some of the good books I just returned to the shelves.  Wendell Berry, Penelope Lively, Patrick Modiano, Carlo Levi, Graham Greene--lots of options.  Maybe I will reread The Great Gatsby for at least the fourth time.  

So there is one small bag of books to donate to the library.  And there are plenty of books to reread or read for the first time and maybe to reject again.  

Doctors, Dentists, and Hair salons

 

After three years in Princeton, we feel we have found the doctors, dentist and hair salon that we like.  And at our age, doctors and dentists and labs are definitely a big part of our lives.   I was hoping that we could say that we had no medical or dental appointments in June.  There were none on the calendar.  But then Jim had a filling fall out of one of his teeth on a Friday.  He called our dentist hoping that this problem would not be as complicated as his last emergency. (which involved oral surgery and several dental appointments) Dr. Brummell was able to see Jim on Monday and happily the filling was easily replaced--not cheaply replaced but in just one easy appointment.

I was dreading an appointment with my primary care provider this week and the follow-up blood work.  I had not lost weight as I had hoped nor had I exercised as much as I intended nor given up sweets and carbs to any great extent.  So how could I hope for and expect good news?  But the A1C number came back just a bit lower and I feel as if I have a reprieve for another four months.  The cholesterol numbers were higher but I assured the doctor when he asked that I was taking my statin every day.   We are going to double it and I hope that will bring those numbers down.  I am relieved to have a plan and to be doing something even if it means more pills.  And I am trying to get at least 5000 steps a day and because some of those are climbing the stairs to get to our apartment maybe there will be improvement.  There is so much that I cannot control but I can try to do better with diet and exercise.

I won't go into too much more detail on this blog but these health issues and appointments are such a big part of our lives that I want to record them for our Blog2Print book for 2022.  

Jim is more disciplined than I am about walking daily.  He does not need to lose weight.  We try to eat whole grains, vegetables and fruit.  We do not eat cured meats or sugary drinks.  I have a longer list of drugs to take; he has fewer pills but a regime of eye drops.  He has a regular rotation of specialists and sees a dermatologist, rheumatologist, ophthalmologist and urologist regularly with an occasional stop at the cardiologist.  I see the ophthalmologist once a year and my gynecologist regularly.  So we are keeping the medical establishments in business here in Princeton.  

It has taken time to find doctors we like and trust and that will take our insurance.  My first appointments with a primary care doctor here were very stressful for me but I have made a change within the practice and am far happier with the one I am seeing now--the first one and I were not a good match.  Dr. Sophocles, the gynecologist at the Women's Health Center, says I am "low maintenance" and I am very grateful for her care. 

And then there was the all important aspect of life in finding the right person to cut our hair.  I went to three places where the hair cuts were good enough but it was cash only and $95 for a cut and blow dry.  One other place was less expensive but the stylist did not speak English.  We now both get our hair cut by Francine who runs her own salon (Addicto Salon) just up the road in Kingston, charges $45 and does just fine.  Plus she takes a credit card!   Maybe that is not as important as a doctor or a dentist but a good hair cut is important for one's psyche and emotional well being. 

So three years after our big move, we have made progress and are thankful for the doctors we see and the pharmacy that provides our drugs.  We have a supply of Covid tests in the closet and have our Covid vaccinations.  We know where to go to get the anti-viral drugs if we need them.  We know how to get to the ER and have made a trial run but hope we won't need to make that trip again.  

Every Good Boy Does Fine

 

EGBDF are the notes on the lines of the treble staff and the reason for the title of Jeremy Denk's memoir about his life as a musician:  Every Good Boy Does Fine.

I am almost finished reading Denk's 350 plus page book which I borrowed from the Princeton Library.  It has a NEW sticker on it so I will return it soon so someone else can borrow it.  But it may be worth buying as an investment in my own Music Appreciation course--one I can enjoy from the couch in our living room--as long as I have my laptop close by.  Actually I would have to move to Jim's study so that I have more reliable internet access. 

Denk lists musical works at the beginning of each chapter and then proceeds to describe them and analyze them.  I have gone to YouTube and listened to several of them including a Schubert Impromptu and a Brahms Concerto for Cello and Piano.  I pulled out my tattered Well Tempered Clavichord and played Bach's Prelude in C Major, the first and the easiest prelude in the book--but with new ears and eyes after reading Denk's description of it.  I should do more of that careful listening but will need to do it over time and at my leisure.

I thought that I would like to listen to Denk himself play.  The first thing I found when I did a search was a great interview in which John Dickerson of CBS news sits near Denk at the piano and asks him questions about his book and his practicing.  Dickerson is smiling and so is Denk.  

Reading about Denk's teachers made me remember my teachers.  Over the years I have had three piano teachers not including my first teacher who was my dad.  I longed to have a "real teacher" but that was not something my parents felt they could afford until I was in middle school.  My teachers were kind to me unlike some of Denk's teachers who could be very demanding and even cruel.  I remember my high school piano teacher telling me to "think on each note."  Every single one?  That was mind boggling to me as I played from beginning to end without a great deal of thought.  My college teacher did not really encourage me to continue lessons with her after one year but suggested instead I read Copland's book  What to Listen for in Music.  She needed to invest her time in the students who were going to be majoring in piano. 

Also over the years I had three different organ teachers.  My first organ teacher was my high school choir director.  He could be a bit harsh.  I remember practicing all week on some piece and he commented, "You're sight-reading, of course?"  To his credit, he gave me a good start because the other teachers I had as an adult did not correct my technique.  I even signed up for harpsichord lessons at Notre Dame and decided it was a great experience that enriched my organ playing but I was never going to buy a harpsichord so ten lessons or so was enough.

Maybe I will meet Jeremy Denk as I see he is an American Academy of Arts and Sciences fellow and Jim will be initiated into the Academy next year.  If I do meet him, I will tell him that his book enriched my life.  

 I am also thinking what a remarkable thing this information age is.  I can sit in my apartment with my ASUS laptop--not a fancy tool at all--and I can listen to music and hear interviews and my world becomes a much bigger place than 508 Barclay Boulevard.  

A Mini-Vacation

We are spending two nights at Overlook Lodge in Bear Mountain State Park.  We checked in a bit early on Wednesday at 3:30 pm after an easy ride from Princeton--about two hours.  (taking 287 and 87) We ate an early dinner in the bar where I tried one of their specialty drinks--Spring Awakening.  That was so good that it made up for a chicken quesadilla that was not so good.  

We wondered why there were signs for a $5 charge for spectators in the parking lot.  We soon found out!  There was a huge car show with lots of wonderful vehicles from the 50s and 60s and some new models.  

It was a decent night of sleep (in spite of kids jumping in the room over us and dogs barking in the hall).  We had Keurig coffee and the cereal we brought along for breakfast.  I enjoyed mine on the deck looking out at the Hudson River. Jim enjoyed his in the room followed by his 30 minutes of Hebrew reading.

After breakfast we drove to the main parking lot and then walked past the Bear Mountain Inn where we had registered the previous day.  We walked along Hessian Lake and on to the path leading to the Hudson River Docks.  It was quite a long walk under the road (9W) and down past a pool and deserted train tracks finally to the river with a great view of Bear Mountain Bridge. 

 But all that walking downhill meant a long walk uphill.  Fortunately there were many benches along the way which were a very welcoming sight for me.  Jim is tougher than I am and I took advantage of his arm much of the time.

We stopped at the Inn to replenish our Keurig coffees for tomorrow morning and are now back in the room cooling off and relaxing.   

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Dan and Alex made the one hour journey from their home near Walkill to meet us for dinner at the 1915 Restaurant where we enjoyed good food and mostly good drinks and definitely good company for the evening.  (and a shared creme brulee for dessert--always a treat!) 

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This morning we tried to take 9W South home--hoping for a scenic ride along the Hudson.  But somehow we got directed to the Palisades Parkway which was nice enough but then to the NJ Turnpike past Newark which was just crowded and stressful. Jim stayed calm and drove defensively and well.  We reminded ourselves to avoid that route next time. 

 It is just a bit past noon and we are home and happy to be home.  It was a great mini-vacation with exercise, beautiful scenery, and time with family.  

Three Years in Princeton, New Jersey

Three years ago today we arrived in Princeton, New Jersey.  We stayed at the Homewood Suites for two weeks until we could move into Barclay Square Apartments.  We had planned to go out to eat anyway tonight but it seemed like an occasion for celebration so we enjoyed margaritas and good food at On the Border.

It is a time for reflection.  We had no idea that these three years would have brought cancer and covid into our lives.  The cancer has been treated and the last two years have shown good results for which we are very thankful.  Covid would have been a factor in Indiana but there has been greater precautions in public places here in New Jersey.   So far we have been spared.  

It has not been easy to find doctors and dentists and even hair stylists but we have settled into good people all around.  It has been a relief to be free of the burden of home ownership.  When it rains hard, we don't worry about a 500 year flood causing water damage.  When something goes wrong in our apartment, we put it on the "portal" and Adriano or Alonso comes in a very short time and cheerfully puts all in good order.  Our apartment is comfortable and spacious and the grounds are lovely. We enjoy walking along the paths.  Today's walk along the canal gave me a glimpse of the lovely heron we often see there.

And best of all, we see family often.  Cookouts, dance performances, choir concerts, holiday celebrations--even a wedding celebration--all within a three -hour drive--and often just a ten minute drive not a two day trip down I 80.  

We miss friends in South Bend and we miss our church family there.  But we do not regret our move and we will never have to purge the belongings we accumulated over the years again.  What will the next three years bring?  We do not know but we will try to be thankful for today in this lovely place with a loving family nearby.  

Life with a Ten-Year-Old

 Our granddaughter came to visit for two nights and one full day.  It was a joy to have her here.  We had hoped to have a dinner at On the Border with both of our granddaughters--but the older one sadly developed Covid.  This was a great disappointment for Grandpa and Grandma and the younger one.  But it did mean that R was able to eat pasta for lunch and for supper--one of her favorite foods.

We had wondered how we would entertain R.  We had a large container of wine corks for crafts.  I had researched some ideas on Pinterest.  We inquired about getting her a pass to swim in our apartment pool. And we knew R would have ideas of her own.

It rained much of the day so swimming was not an option.  R made three cork families as a gift for her little brother. So who needs Pinterest?  She wanted to make a bunny cake for him too.  Amazingly as soon as he saw us on Sunday, he said "bunny cake" as he remembered a highlight of our Easter visit.  So we put together the two circle pans in preparation for finishing them up with his supervision today when we brought her home.

Two grandchildren and
a friend

A highlight of our time together was our Dollar Tree visit.  We gave R $5 to spend as she wished and that took some serious shopping time and decisions.  Her first choice was a Get Well card for her nanny who had just broken her foot. I thought that was so dear of her.  She had been very concerned about her nanny.  She bought some candy and a pretty creepy looking doll head with hair that could be styled.  As the Dollar Tree's prices are now all $1.25 that almost was enough.  Plus her grandpa and grandma thought maybe a time limit on shopping was advised!  We gave her a bit of change for the tax and that created a topic for conversation on the way home.  What are taxes?  What are they for?  

Another query R had was about our financial status.  If we were no longer working and getting paychecks, how were we paying for things?  So we tried to explain social security, pensions, and savings and assured her we were doing just fine.  We were not broke and had all we wanted and more.

We watch CBS Evening News almost every night but decided we were not wanting to watch it with a ten year old.  We did not want to see the violence of shootings or the war in Ukraine or try to explain "reproductive freedom" to a child.  

It caused great amusement when I called her by her older cousin's name at least four times.  It was just stuck in my head.  Jim said he did it once too.  It was a great visit and we are so grateful for a loving precious granddaughter.  

January 6 Select Committee Hearings I-V

 

Men from the
Attorney General's 
office

There will be no hearing today--and no more in June.  There should be a few more in July after the committee of legislators does its groundwork.  The five hearings have been surprisingly dramatic.  I expected to be bored and I was not.  I feel like  withdrawal is taking place for me today--I am looking for my adrenaline fix of another hearing! 

The hearings have been  conducted in a sober, restrained fashion. However, they were choreographed like a TV documentary with live interviews interspersed with videotaped ones. There were no representatives trying to speak over others or to argue points.  The main reason for this is probably because Kevin McCarthy wanted Republicans to boycott the committee so the only two Republicans on it were Representatives Kinsinger and Cheney, both of whom voted to impeach Donald Trump.  Both of whom have been called RINOs, Republicans in Name Only.  So there is no cross-examination of witnesses.  But that is the choice McCarthy made. 

The focus of the hearings is to show that Donald Trump was told by his aides and others and knew that he had lost the election but went ahead with any means possible to gain a second term anyway. Some are calling it an attempted coup.   Almost every witness (and they all solemnly swore an oath not to commit perjury) was a Republican--from a conservative Judge Luttig to an aide to Vice-President Pence to Attorney Generals and acting Attorney Generals (Engel, Rosen, Donoghue) appointed by Trump himself.  Some witnesses referred to their days starting with prayer or getting a call from the White House when in the driveway after returning from church.  One quoted Ronald Reagan in his testimony.  One said he wanted Trump to win but could not break his oath to the Constitution to make that possible.  These were not so-called liberal Democrats!  There was dramatic footage of the January 6 insurrection with rioters looking for Vice President Mike Pence shouting "Hang Mike Pence." Two black election workers from Georgia emotionally recounted that Trump targeted them by name (Lady Ruby Freeman and her daughter) and caused danger for them.  

The committee does not have the ability or mandate to indict anyone.  They hope to create a report that will prevent such an insurrection from ever happening again and to clarify the electoral college process so that no one is tempted to think that one person, namely the vice-president, can do anything but record the certified electors.  The Department of Justice has asked to see the transcripts of all the interviews and it is their job to bring indictments.  

These hearings are such an important story but they were completely usurped in tonight's newscasts by the Supreme Court's overturning of Roe vs. Wade today.  

Not Just in My Little World

I have been writing about our day to day life, our family events, and my reading--which takes up too much of my time.  But so much is happening in the world beyond our apartment walls and it is disturbing and sad and should be recorded.  

Covid continues to be a factor in life.  Our son related that his office mate tested positive.  Our grandson came home from a high school trip in which a few classmates and a staff member tested positive.  Inflation is at record highs which may have many causes but one is certainly covid supply chain issues.  We continue to wear our masks in public.  

The war in Ukraine has gone on for over 100 days.  It shows no sign of ending soon and the fear is of escalation.  Ukraine is begging for more weapons.  If there are more provided that threaten Russia, how will Russia retaliate?  The sad thing is that the horrors of war are not even the lead stories lately. People in Ukraine are suffering so much loss. 

The lead stories have been the unbelievable gun violence in many places. One of the worst was the supermarket shooting in Buffalo, New York which was racially motivated.  And then with even worse carnage, 19 children and 2 teachers were killed in a 4th grade classroom in Uvalde, Texas--a name that will live in infamy like Sandy Hook or Columbine.  There are some signs that Congress will pass minimal gun safety laws--laws that could have saved lives if passed long ago.

And then there are the January 6 hearings televised this week with 20 million viewers for the first one during prime time.  This morning there was another at 10 am and there will be several more.  The Congressional panel called on several members of Donald Trump's staff to show that he was told emphatically that he had lost the election. He however continued to say he won and to encourage the violence of the insurrection we witnessed on January 6. When I despair about the future of our democracy, I try to remember that in the wee hours of January 7, Joseph Biden was confirmed as our next president by Congress and a courageous and bold Mike Pence, the vice-president in charge,  and that he was inaugurated on January 20 without incident.  

 The point of these hearings is to ensure that such an attempted coup will never happen again.  Whether criminal charges for people in government will ensue is uncertain.  Hundreds have been indicted among the rioters and some have pleaded guilty.   Others are being tried in jury or bench trials.  Some nominees for offices are still looking for Trump's endorsement and are continuing to say the election of President Biden was stolen.  Hearing Trump's Attorney General Bill Barr say that he told then President Trump that his saying he won was nonsense--actually he put it more forcefully in graphic, crass language-- has been so honest and revealing. 

Reading and Writing Memoirs

 

I read two memoirs this week.  The contrast between the two books and the two lives was great.  The first one was titled Bookends and was written by Zibby Owens.  It was offered as a free download through Amazon Prime and was billed as an account of how reading was a help through a life of losses.  Zibby took care not to write about her first marriage and divorce out of consideration for her family and her four children.  But she wrote about several other traumas in her life--the loss of a very good friend when the planes hit the World Trade Center along with other deaths of friends and family.  The losses continued to the present time when the mother and grandmother of the new love in her life died of Covid.  Zibby struggled to find her role in life but ends with an upbeat chapter about her podcasts, publishing firm, and the new love in her life.  Her book was exhausting to read.  She admits that she does everything fast.  Her present husband says things can unfold organically without pressure so that may slow her down!  I hope that she does find peace and happiness.  

The second memoir was called Chasing the Wind and was by Pastor Douglas Brouwer.  I had read Pastor Brouwer's post on the 12Blog (Reformed Done Daily) on Sunday when the short biographical note mentioned his memoir.  I downloaded it also from Amazon paying a minimal amount.  Douglas Brouwer wrote about his long career as a pastor.  He wrote with great honesty about his regrets and about what he called the "holy bits." Unlike Zibby's life in a wealthy NYC mileau,  I could identify with much about his life.   He was raised in a Dutch immigrant community as we were, attending a Christian Reformed Church as we did, graduating from Calvin College as we did a few years later, and then going to Princeton Seminary and becoming ordained in the Presbyterian Church.  As we now live in Princeton and worship in a Presbyterian Church next to campus that also rang famliar to me. 

I emailed Pastor Brouwer to thank him for his book and he responded with gratitude  saying it was the kind of response every author wants for his writing.  From his response, I found even more points of contact in our lives.  I may have been his brother-in-law's 6th grade teacher in Grand Rapids, Michigan--but that remains to be seen.  When you are raised in a fairly closed community, that tends to happen! 

Both writers inspired me to look for a document I had begun writing last year with my 10 year old granddaughter in mind.  She had asked questions about how her grandpa and I met.  Her older brother had just asked recently about our earliest memories.  It took a bit of searching but I found the document on my laptop and wrote some more on it adding a few photos.  

As I wrote, it brought back more memories as I wondered what might interest our grandchildren.  A TV with just three channels to choose from?  A telephone "party line" with our next door neighbor listening into our conversations? A doctor making a house calls to a sick child?   The threat of polio?  

It made me wonder how my parents survived financially when my father spent a year in a Veteran's Hospital when I was four years old.  How did they survive emotionally without long distance phone calls and email possibilities?  Friends and family drove my mother the three or more hour ride to see him in the VA hospital but they could not have had much privacy.  But these are questions I did not ask when those who would have had answers were alive.  

Douglas Brouwer told me that he teaches a course in memoir writing and encourages folks to write for their grandchildren.  I hope to continue to give it a try!  It will be one step beyond blogging!