Christmas Eve Brunch

 

Jeff and Susan hosted a Christmas brunch today for 14 of us.  Sadly Dan and Alex were not there because they were hesitant to be with others before flying to the Dominican Republic tomorrow.  They did not want to chance a positive Covid test and be forced to quarantine in a hotel instead of enjoying a vacation in warm weather.  We missed them but understood their decision. We greeted them via Facetime and little Henry actually said "Uncle Dan!" 

The rest of us had a great family time enjoying lots of food and gift giving.  Alex immediately recognized the size of package for his chocolate A letter although he did inform me that he did not like chocolate.  I was so pleased that he enjoyed his book light so much and was exploring the various modes of light.  I guess gadgets have their appeal. Ruth was aware that the idea for that gift for the four older Conway children came from her.  They can use their book gift cards later.

 Henry was delighted with his stepstool-bench gift which was really for both his first and second birthdays,  He also seemed very happy with the noisy school bus for his Christmas gift.  Katie was pleased to receive new towels and informed her brothers that they would understand when they were on their own--that towels were not boring!  

I made pigs in the blanket which were a family tradition for generations in my family.  Susan had deviled eggs, bagels, sausages and a beautiful coffee cake.  Laura brought a large fruit salad and Michael made a pumpkin pie.  I had the ingredients for mimosas available.  It was a feast.  

The older cousins played some board games with the younger cousins.  Michael had found and shared  a 1935 history book that came from Jim's grandpa which made for an interesting point of view.  Jasper poured over Jeff and Susan's family photo albums and particularly enjoyed the year of his birth 2007.  Yes, he was pictured when he arrived that May and during a family vacation later that summer.  

We all delighted in little Henry's enthusiasm for unwrapping presents--his own and that of others.  

Our Christmas celebration continues with a turkey dinner at Jeff and Susan's tomorrow.  We are blessed!

Christmas Preparations

 I think I presented church school classes three times on Simplifying Christmas--once in Raleigh, and twice in South Bend.  The last time was three years ago with my friend Julia Lincicum.  We had fun preparing for it and the class was quite memorable with some frank contributions from the group.

I remember Laura as a child being concerned that we would make Christmas too simple.  It is not my favorite time of year because I often feel inadequate in thinking of good gifts for people I love dearly.  Plus there used to be the plans for a Family Literacy party which involved gifts for the children and finding a Santa Claus and a costume for him.  I took pride in finding a Santa of color and I always did--a brother or a boyfriend or someone who worked at the Housing Authority.

This year, it is still four days until we have a Christmas Eve brunch at Jeff and Susan's house and I almost have my shopping done.  Yesterday we went to Target and bought a Fisher Price school bus for little Henry.  It is big and noisy and I am delighted with it.  I hope he will be.  His parents probably will not like the sounds it makes when you push the button but then the battery will wear out eventually.

Yesterday, Shutterfly emailed that they were having "production problems" and my purchase for my sons and son-in-law would be delayed.  Today an email says it is at my mailbox.  We shall see!  (the bright orange box was there! Hooray!)

I have chocolate letters for the grandchildren and skittles for the one who has food allergies.  I have learned to order them from Vander Veens, the Dutch store in Grand Rapids, right after Thanksgiving so that they come on time.  I have three pounds of almond paste also from them so I can make banket.  Alonso, our maintenance head, was asking if I made it for Halloween too--so I know he is looking for it for Christmas! I almost never bake anything so making banket is an intimidating thought.  I'll postpone it until tomorrow! 

It is hard to think of gifts for Laura's children--who have a lot of stuff.  When we were at their house a few weeks ago, Ruth mentioned that her mother was lucky because when she read in bed, all she had to do was turn off the light right next to her bed.  That gave me an idea of booklights for the four older kids.  They are battery powered and rechargeable and clip onto books.  I also arranged for gift cards from an independent book store near them so they can pick out books of their choice.  

I was "creative" in making monogrammed stationery for my daughter and daughters-in-law.  I practiced making some for myself a few weeks ago and was happy enough with how it turned out.  

We plan on asking the three couples to choose a charity for a gift in their name.  Last year we gave them a promise to take them out for dinner and it took until two weeks ago to be able to do that with Jeff and Susan.  That was a Covid postponement mostly.  

Jim and I say that we are giving each other a trip to Florida again this year.

I have written out about 20 Christmas cards and that may be the extent of it.  Any others we receive I will respond with email greetings!  

Now there is a lot of wrapping to do.  I may need more paper.  I plan to make the traditional pigs in the blanket for our brunch--and bring the ingredients for mimosas.  How nice it is to travel ten minutes to see everyone instead of two days!  Although Dan and Alex may not be there out of a need to take precautions before their vacation flight on Christmas Day.  They do not want to test positive and go into quarantine in a Dominican Republic hotel.

No Christmas church services for us except for joining in from our couch again.  We did not make reservations for the Christmas Eve services.  No pageant to see at Laura's church.  No choir presentation at 10 pm for me at least.  Covid lives are quiet but Christmas time is still a joy! 

A Heritage of Singing

This past week I listened to a concert of lessons and carols from my alma mater, Calvin College. It made me nostalgic for the days when I was singing in choirs. I have "retired" from our Nassau Church choir.  It was a joy to sing with them for a few months before Covid changed everything for choirs.  The choir is rehearsing again but I think a weekly negative Covid test is required.  Plus I was feeling quite strongly that I wanted to worship with Jim, singing with him next to me for the time that we have left on this earth to go to church together.  However, we haven't gone to church for a year and a half or is it almost two years now?  On Sunday morning we sit on the couch and livestream the services from Nassau Street on our laptops.

Two hour choir rehearsals were demanding and it probably was best that I retired before someone suggested that I do so!   I could still keep up--even on Christmas Eve with Bach's Christmas Oratorio two years ago --but my stamina was weakening--and maybe so was my balance on choir risers.  

But I miss the joy of blending my voice with others and following the conductor's leading.  If the Grace Notes Choir starts up again, I will join them for their twice a month rehearsals.  Grace Notes is a group of singers of a certain age like mine.  The director  Noel Warner is excellent and the music was worth singing.   I hope they can end Zoom meetings and go back to regular rehearsals soon.

I was feeling a bit melancholy about giving up choral singing even though I had made a conscious decision to do so.  However I took great comfort in realizing that our daughter Laura is enjoying singing in her excellent church choir at Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church.  And then last Thursday we watched a livestream concert of our grandson Jasper's high school concert in which he sang with the concert choir and the more select acapella choir.  And today we watched our grandson James' concert from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in which he was one of only six basses singing in their excellent and challenging choir.  (His grandfather on his mother's side is a cantor in his church in North Carolina.)  So my joy in singing is carried out in my daughter's life and in our grandsons' lives.  And that gives me joy too!

In Appreciation of 508 Barclay Boulevard

 As I showered this morning in our bright, clean, spacious and powerful shower, I thought it was time I wrote about our lovely apartment.  I complained plenty about the shabby rental house on Juniper Road and wrote that we would be glad to get back into our place here in Princeton.  And now we are here and we don't take this comfortable, luxurious home for granted.

Our daughter-in-law Susan was our personal real estate agent who suggested Barclay Square.  I think we had assumed it was a condo complex and it may have been so originally.  We would have liked to have been able to walk to stores and libraries but we went for more space for the money and we have not been sorry.  We chose a unit looking at plans online and Jeff and Susan sent us some photos of the outside of our building.  We have three bedrooms with one used as Jim's study.  We have two full bathrooms and that is a bit more than we wanted or needed--the tub and shower are never used in one of them.  We have used the dining room area very few times but can blame that on Covid and limited entertaining or family gatherings inside.  My digital piano occupies a wall of the dining area.  

We looked at two complexes closer to town that charged extra for parking in a parking garage.  Here we have a garage attached to our apartment at the bottom of the stairs. It is large enough to store boxes and a bookshelf.   I am no longer fearful of getting the Sportage into and out of the one stall opening. 

We use the gas fireplace more than we thought we would.  There is no sound of crackling wood or smell of wood burning, but it is very cozy and can take the chill off a cold afternoon.

The decorating scheme of white walls and beige carpets is bland but we have area rugs in the kitchen and living room. Very colorful comforters add life to the bedrooms.  

So far we are happy to be on the second floor; we hope we can continue to manage the stairs.  In fact, I do the steps a few times extra each day for some exercise.  Our downstairs neighbors are concerned that their toddler's crying will disturb us but when we hear him, and it is not often,  we think of them with compassion.  We don't use the showers or laundry room late at night and hope we don't disturb them either.  

The grounds here are maintained well and landscaped beautifully.  Christmas decorations are up replacing the colorful mums that signaled fall.  If something goes wrong in the apartment, Jim puts our request on the "portal" and Alonso or Adriano is there to fix it very quickly.  Eboni in the leasing office has helped Jim with scanning and faxing documents several times.  It's a short walk to get our mail and to get rid of trash and recyclables--and a good excuse to get in a few of the steps we need each day.  If we are more ambitious, we can walk to the Delaware and Raritan canal path--a round trip getting us about 5000 steps.  

We did not even consider buying a house or condo in Princeton at this stage of our lives.  Taxes are very high.  We are so glad to have someone else take care of maintenance and problems.  

Barclay Square has become home. We are grateful for such a comfortable place to live.  We are a ten minute drive from the Princeton VKs, a bit over an hour from the Conways, and 2 1/2 hours from Dan and Alex in the Catskills.  We are glad it is no longer a 13 hour drive to spend time with them! 

Thanksgiving 2021

 

Thanksgiving 2020 was a solitary affair thanks to Covid restrictions. 

This year most of us are vaccinated and it was a two family feast with 21 of us plus Max, the Conway puppy, all hosted by the newlyweds Dan and Alex at their lovely home near Walkill, New York.  Dan and Alex gave the feast a theme of indigenous foods--which included the 20 pound turkey, cranberry relish, beans, rice, and pumpkin pie.  

Susan made her traditional rolls.  Last year she dropped some off at our apartment and talked Laura through baking them on her own.  This year it was great to enjoy them together.  Alex's dad made a cranberry sourdough bread giving credit to Dan who taught him how to make sourdough bread.  Katie made a chocolate pie which apparently is a traditional recipe from her boyfriend's family. I made a sweet potato-cranberry-walnut dish plus fudge which as often happens turned out to be spoon fudge.  Still tasted good however!

Before dinner there was football and frisbee throwing in the large yard behind the house at the foot of the Catskills.  Some of us stayed inside and enjoyed our cider-bourbon cocktail, the same recipe from the wedding celebration.  A rainbow came out to bless our gathering.

.

I asked Ruth to read a Thanksgiving psalm, Psalm 100, and Alex's dad read the same psalm in Spanish.  Jim gave a grace but only in English he said!  I was gratified to hear that the older cousins all remembered when it was their turn to be the family psalm reader.  At this point, there are still two younger ones to await their turns.  May we be blessed to hear that offering in future years.

The Conways and Princeton VKs headed home after dinner.   Jim and I spent the night at the Harvest Inn in Pinebush, a seven mile country ride from Dan and Alex's home but not as far on dark roads as home would have been.  

We arrived home before noon today after easy travel.  We are very happy to be home for a while now after travel to Texas and New York in the last week. 

SBL in San Antonio

Christmas on the 
Riverwalk

I was very hesitant to go with Jim to his annual Society of Biblical Literature convention this year.  Travel in a time of Covid had me very anxious.  Wearing a mask for hours in the airport and plane would be uncomfortable.  But Jim wanted me to go with him so I did. Fortunately our nonstop flight to Texas went very smoothly.  I wore a less effective mask but more comfortable than the usual KN95 one. 

We changed our flight home to a day earlier hoping to avoid the worst of the Thanksgiving traffic.  We are awake early and ready to go in a few hours.

The best part of being here was having meals with friends--former students and even friends from Jim's seminary days in Grand Rapids.  The worst part was trying to find healthy food in a "food desert" in a tourist downtown area.  We wanted some fruit for lunch--not a meal, just a snack.  We walked all over the area, even following our apple map for "groceries near me" but found nothing.  Sodas, coffee, even liquor--but no fruit.  We will try to eat better when we get home again!

Jim gave his presidential address to a good audience who chuckled at the appropriate places even while fully masked.  He ran the SBL business meeting from his laptop in our hotel room at 7:30 am yesterday.  At least I was dressed and out of sight in the bed across the room.  That went well without any technological problems.  There never are very many in attendance but those that were voted after unmuting.  He read the "necrology" and the list of awards.

I am contemplating how when you meet with friends you take on their joys and sorrows.  I am sad to hear of illnesses and deaths in families.  Covid has isolated us from others in so many ways.  I am thankful for the renewed connections of  the last few days.  

Once again, we will be glad to be home in our own apartment and in our own routines.  I hope that will be by suppertime tonight.

-------------After a long day of travel and a hectic Newark airport, we are glad to be home. I think this will be my last SBL convention unless it is a train ride away. -----------

Jim was given this obelisk to commemorate his year as president of the SBL. Naturally enough, it raised questions at the TSA checkpoint when it showed up in his suitcase. ---------------- One more addition to this blog. Jim got an email this morning (November 24) saying that his biography of RH CHarles--the subject of his presidential address--was accepted for publication by Oxford University Press!

Covid is Still with us

I just answered a text from Montgomery Internal Medicine in preparation for a routine appointment, labs, and a flu shot tomorrow morning. One question was "Have you been in contact with anyone in the last seven days who tested positive for Covid?" I could answer "No" and thus was given a "green pass" to show at the door tomorrow. However if they had asked the same question with eight days I would have had to say "Yes." Our grand-daughter's boyfriend tested positive for Covid this week. He is not very sick fortunately and is trying to isolate under the circumstances. We had dinner with him and our son's family a week ago. So Covid has reached our inner circle of family and friends.

 Yesterday I went to our grand-daughter's Princeton Ballet performance. We wore masks when we entered the student center. We were not asked to show proof of vaccination. It was lovely to see her dance in a live performance. A week or so ago I watched our grandson's college choir in a taped performance. That was also lovely to watch but was not even in front of a live audience at his school in Troy, New York.

 On Wednesday this week, Jim gave his Society of Biblical Literature presidential address in front of a mostly student audience at Princeton Seminary so it could be videotaped for those who were not attending the annual meeeting. He will give it again live next Saturday in San Antonio. The audience was all masked and it is assumed vaccinated if they were seminary students. We joined a group for pizza and drinks at the home of one of the professors afterwards--a rare social occasion for us.

 We continue to wear masks when we shop for groceries or go into CVS for prescriptions. I am hesitating to fly with Jim to San Antonio this week but don't want to waste a very expensive plane ticket. He would like me to accompany him and it is easier to travel with a partner. The weather will be mild and the riverwalk is lovely.  However I am dreading hours of mask wearing in airports and planes and really hoping travel will be smooth. Stories of fewer TSA agents are not encouraging. I am not really fearful of contacting Covid or if we do, getting very ill as we are vaccinated and even have our boosters. Plus we will try to eat outside and packed receptions at the convention are not taking place. I would avoid those anyway.

 So this is a blog written when there really is nothing to blog about but I wanted to record the fact that Covid is still a part of our lives.

Aging Bodies and Doctors (snd Dentists)

Good news 
celebration

We made it through seven weeks in South Bend without needing medical assistance.  During the last week there, Jim sadly felt a crown getting loose in his mouth.  In the middle of one night, he dreamt it came off.   It did, but at least not during that night.  He didn't swallow it and put it in a baggie in his briefcase.  So that was our one emergency.

He called Dr. Brummell, our dentist, on Friday on our way home from South Bend and got an appointment that next Monday--after the wedding party.  Unfortunately, there was more to be done that just gluing the crown back on.  So he has seen an oral surgeon for a consultation and will have work done next week. Then back to our dentist for a bridge because there are too many problems for any other treatment.  We are outliving our teeth.

Between the two of us, I counted twelve medical or dental appointments between the time we came home and before we leave for San Antonio in late November for Jim's annual convention.  They are all grouped in a short time because of our being gone for those two months.   I need to be thankful for doctors and dentists but I dread each appointment lest we find more problems and need more referrals.  Some of them are routine--a mammogram, six month dental cleanings, an eye exam (which is never routine for Jim), bone density xray for Jim (because of his RA which is in remission however).  

Others are routine but don't feel routine, like Jim's six month follow up for prostate cancer which meant another PSA test this week.  That always makes me so anxious.  Jim is optimistic and I try to be but find myself preparing for the worst.   The results never seem to show up when we expect them.  Again this time, the doctor said they would be there on the portal the next day.  Three days later, Jim finally called the office and they gave him the good news that the numbers were low.  So it will be another six months before he has another "routine" appointment and the anxiety that means.  

It is time to fill my weekly pill container which I do on Sunday mornings.  I tell myself to be thankful for those little pills that help to control blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol.  I am thankful but I also find it an exercise in humility and acceptance of aging.  A while back one of our pastors mentioned the idea of "anticipatory grief" maybe in connection with Covid.  Before I get out of bed, I say "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be grateful for it."  I remind myself to be thankful for each day we are alive and reasonably well instead of worrying about the inevitable time in which we are not.  

So this is not a very upbeat posting but it certainly is a part of our lives right now.  I was home alone this morning because of a bout of stomach flu yesterday.  Jim went to church where he was teaching the adult church school for the first time here in Princeton.   I felt a need to open the Bible and see what the good word for me might be.  That can be risky but if one opens to the Psalms, it will probably be helpful.  I opened the Bible in the middle and there was Psalm 71 which read:   

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength is spent. ...So even to old age and grey hairs, do not forsake me.

So that was God's good word for me today. Even the Psalmist thousands of years ago was anxious enough to ask God for help as I do daily.

Pfizer Booster Shot

Before we even left South Bend, we were getting emails from the New Jersey Department of Health inviting us to sign up for our booster vaccine.  We were past 60 days from our previous two shots and were over 65 so we qualified.  I waited until we got into Princeton and then signed up easily for shots within 5 miles and the next week--not within 50 miles and a few weeks out as we had to do for our earlier shots.

Monday we drove to the Plainsboro CVS and waited in a short line to get our vaccines from a technician behind a curtained section of the store near the pharmacy.  Quick and easy compared to our last sign-up and trip to Rowan College South Jersey.  Typical of shopping in Plainsboro was that we appeared to be the only native English speakers in line.  A daughter-in-law was there to assist her husband's parents with the process.  

However, the follow up was not so easy.  Around 11 pm I started to feel cold.  By midnight I could not get warm.   I found a heating pad and an extra blanket.  Finally when I got out my down bathrobe and wrapped it around me under the covers, I felt warm again.  All day Tuesday I was tired and had no energy.  Food tasted fine but I had little appetite.  By Tuesday evening I felt better.  Jim had no side effects other than a slightly sore arm.  

Last night I slept for hours without any coughing spells like last week or without trying to stay warm.  I feel fine today.  In fact, I keep saying that I feel great!  I'm sure it was just a reaction to the booster shot and I hope a sign that it was effective! 

On the Road in Three Hours (posted ten days later)

 October 16  I wrote this blog before we left South Bend.  I didn't want to share it because of the worry about Covid exposure.  Ten days later we know that we were safe.  We had heard earlier before the wedding party that Jim's golf partner had a second negative test.  So now I think I can post this after a week at home.  My next blog will be one of gratitude to be home and enjoying our lovely apartment again.

---------------------

October 7

I thought the next blog might be from Princeton but it has been a somewhat stressful 24 hours and may be worth recording.  Jim is teaching his last class.  The house is vacuumed and mopped and dusted.  I have to empty the refrigerator but am waiting until the last half hour so I can put some items in the cooler.  Sadly, I will have to throw out some food even though I tried not to waste anything.  I cooked chicken and will make sandwiches for our supper.  

I just had my hair cut and blown dry so if it lasts, it will look fine for the wedding party on Saturday.  It was good to visit Salon Rouge again.

The third green at Warren

When Jim comes home, we will give the house one more walk through to make sure we haven't left anything behind.  

Yesterday the crown that Jim was worried was loose fell out.  At least he did not swallow it.  He hopes that the root canal that was done under it means that he won't have pain.  So that is something he will have to deal with soon when we get home.

Yesterday, the man with whom Jim shared a golf cart let us know that his wife tested positive for Covid.  We wondered how much danger this put us in.  Jim emailed the theology department to ask for advice.  Googling it made us think that because we were vaccinated we didn't have to quarantine.  Plus the golfers were outside. Later we learned that the gentleman himself had a negative test so that was a relief.  At first I was wearing a mask in the house but gave that up after a while.  There is no point in getting tested because any positive results wouldn't show up for at least five days. 

 We have been fortunate thus far to have had no contacts with anyone who had Covid or tested positive for Covid before we were with them.   This was the closest we had come to exposure; the timing was bad for our trip home and Dan's wedding party on Saturday.  The wedding party will be outside.  The forecast is for a high of 57 but at least it is not supposed to rain.  If we go inside, we will wear masks. 

These weeks have definitely been a change in our routine. Change is good although we wondered at times about the confusion and disruption of these weeks.  Jim's class went well from his perspective and also from what we heard from others who had talked to students in the class.  He was pleased with the students' presentations and now will await their written papers.  We have been glad that we could see our siblings and many friends from church and the neighborhood.  We worshipped with our friends at Church of the Savior for six weeks--outside twice and then in the sanctuary.

Our long driveway-
the former Juniper Road

 It has been very good to have others enter into our lives more.   We have missed that in Princeton and need to work harder to make more contacts there.  Covid has not made that easy!  But now we can begin to invite others into our apartment and to enjoy meals in restaurants again.  

Our living arrangement in this rental house was something we got used to.  However after seven weeks here, we will really enjoy our lovely apartment at Barclay Square.  Two bathrooms, a large TV screen, a dishwasher that doesn't need to be hooked up, counter space in the kitchen--what luxuries! 

So, maybe the next post will be about the wedding party.  I hope so--that travel is uneventful and the party is awesome! 

A Catskills Wedding Party

M

Dan and Alex were married on December 12, 2020 in a Google Meets ceremony. So they have had a wedding and are married for several months.  People were joking about this being the second wedding in a year--but the same marriage. But this time they did have a ceremony complete with a processional, readings, vows and a kiss. Alexandra had a beautiful dress and Dan looked wonderful too in his suit and floral tie that matched the bodice of the wedding dress. 

 Their friends came from as far as Seattle and San Francisco. Many friends and colleagues were there from New York City. A few new friends and neighbors came from Aumick and Decker Roads. I thought it was a special joy that Dan and Alex could introduce their friends to their lovely location at the foot of the Catskill Mountains.

Alex said that she stopped looking at the weather app because the weather was out of her control. It was not warm but it was comfortable enough. There were a few raindrops after the ceremony but not enough to ruin anything. 

 Jim and I walked Dan down the aisle and then he awaited his beautiful bride from under the arbor he and a friend had created for them. Dan had a wonderful smile on his face and for good reason! Their friend Jossie was the mistress of ceremonies. She said a few words about how Dan and Alex wanted to renew their vows in front of friends and family. There were two readings including Shakespeare's 116th sonnet read by Jim. They exchanged rings with their vows, kissed, and it was over. This mother of the groom wiped away a few tears from her eyes! 

 We had cocktails that Dan and Alex specially created for the occasion featuring apple cider and bourbon. Then on to the pizza truck for a choice of unusual pizzas which we ate at tables set up under a big tent. Lindsey and Max, friends of Alex and Dan, gave toasts. Martha, Alex's mother, toasted them with much love for her daughter. Jim and I said a few words about Dan--mostly memories of young Dan--and then we toasted their marriage too with our great happiness on this occasion. 

 And then we danced. What fun to see little Henry (21 months) dancing with great enthusiasm as well as Doris and Hal (neighbors married for 61 years) also dancing looking into each other's eyes. Jim and I even moved our bodies some--especially joining our grandchildren. 

 We didn't stay for s'mores but headed to our motel in Pine Bush before the front desk closed. It was a dark country road ride with many turns but fortunately our Apple Maps cell phone service worked and we did well. To add to a good day, Notre Dame beat Virginia Tech and we were able to watch the Texas A and M Aggies beat Alabama on TV. 

The party continued into Sunday with cider and donuts at Wilklow Orchards.  This was our treat with an open bar for hard cider and dozens of delicious donuts.  Some guests picked apples while they were there.  The grandchildren had fun taking polaroid photos of the guests and putting them in a memory book.

We are so thankful that Dan and Alex found each other and are making a life together. They are both treasures to us and we love them dearly. As we were out on the edge of the dance floor I looked at our offspring and  wondered if we would be able to celebrate more weddings with them.  I hope we can. 

 Probably not for little Henry.  At least we danced with him at this party!

Two Grottos

Yesterday Jim and I parked the car in the Libary Lot under a #5 lamp post.  There were very few places open; that made it easier to find later.  I walked to the Grotto for the second time during our weeks in South Bend.  The first time was the Sunday after a home game when many candles were lit and it was hard to find one to light and to find a place to secure it.  This time a few days before a home game, there were plenty available.  As always, there are some others kneeling in prayer and this time a military group was setting up for a service.

I have found a "grotto" in Princeton too.  There is a place along the Delaware and Raritan Canal path where someone has put a madonna in the rocks.  There are no candles to light but there are benches where one can sit and meditate while looking at the canal.  It is a lovely spot although lately it has been a bit overgrown and I fear poison ivy.  Just this week a young woman on the path was kidnapped and assaulted so I may be hesitant to go that way alone again.  Admittedly, a young woman is more vulnerable than a whilte-haired woman of my age.  

I know one can pray anywhere and I do but it is good to have a special destination for prayer.  I have lit candles at the Notre Dame grotto many times over the years.  The price has gone up a bit.  I say lots of prayers so my $3 could be considered a bargain!  I remember well the first time I prayed at the ND Grotto when we were despairing about our children's school situations when we first moved here.  I looked up at the statue of Mary and said to her, "You are a mother too.  You know how I feel."   Was that a prayer from this Protestant to Mary?  Maybe it was.  At least I was talking to her.  

In one more week we will be on the road heading home to Princeton.  I am ready to go.  We have the atmosphere of one more home football game to enjoy. We can worship at Church of the Savior one more time.  We have three more dinners next week  with friends.  Jim has two more golf matches scheduled.  He will teach two more classes although at this point, his students are presenting their own work.

We will look back on these weeks with some fond memories and other memories that will make us chuckle.  Just yesterday I tried cleaning the very slow coffee pot with vinegar purchased at Dollar Tree.  Yes, they even had apple cider vinegar!  Today, Jim bought us Starbucks coffee for breakfast and it was great.  I guess he gave up on the 20 minute brew.  

Maybe the next blog will be posted from Princeton.  I am almost hesitant to write that because it would be good if the coming week is routine and goes by quickly. 

Eleven Days Left in South Bend

I haven't written a blog post for over a week.  I think that is a sign that the novelty of being here at Notre Dame has worn off.  These days I have a sense of being neither here nor there--as if I don't know where I belong.  This may be a reason for my unsettled feeling.  I really looked forward to this stay in South Bend and it has been good to see family and friends. But I am also counting the days now until we go "home" to Princeton.  Our accommodations have been less than ideal but we have coped and soon we will be back in our lovely Barclay Square apartment. 

This past week we had dinner with others three times.  This coming week we will have dinner with others three more times.  The last week here has still one more dinner date scheduled.  This is far more sociability than we have had for two years and it has been good.  Although I brought a scale along to keep track of my weight, I haven't even lifted it out of the box we brought it in.  I am afraid to check because I know we are not eating as healthfully as we do at home.  I have cooked very few meals--hamburgers, eggs, chicken salad, tuna melts--and that is it.  I plan to do a chicken stir fry but had to buy olive oil, rice, and soy sauce--just for one meal.  Those items will travel well enough to bring them back to Princeton with us.  

Mercado Stripes
(Sloan)

I played the church organ once and really don't have a strong desire to try to do it again.  That is one more thing in my life that is coming to an end.  I visited the Snite Museum this past week and enjoyed seeing some of my favorite works and was reminded of the stories I told the third graders when I was a docent there.  I hope to return to museum visits in Princeton and even in New York City but I have no desire to be a docent again.  Another chapter is closed in life.  I pulled books off the shelves at the Francis Branch Library and even downloaded an ebook thanks to the fact that my St. Joseph Library card was still valid.  I loved that library but I like the Princeton Library too and don't see myself as a volunteer again.  My short stint at the Plainsboro Library as a volunteer was back breaking literally so that is another door closed.  

Taos Skies (Huggin)

We worshipped at Church of the Savior this morning again and will have one more opportunity to do so next week.  I looked at the worship bulletin for Nassau Presbyterian Church this morning and thought that maybe it was a sign that I was thinking of that church as "our church" too.  But at CotS we know everyone and if we don't know someone, we are pretty sure they are visitors and should be greeted and welcomed.  That feeling of belonging is not the primary reason to worship, but it is a joy and may never be possible in a big church like Nassau Church--and one where we will never be as involved in music or leadership.  However Jim is teaching an adult class in late October so more folks will know him.  

I will be happy to be in our Barclay Square apartment again.  I will revel in two bathrooms with one very pleasant shower with room for my personal items next to the sink. I will be happy to use the sink without feeling like I need to put the top down on the toilet lest I drop something in it!  There will be counter space in the kitchen and storage space for food in the cupboards.  It will be great to see the sporting events Jim likes on a larger TV.  I will be glad to get the exercise we get going up the 14 steps to our second floor apartment and our daily walking to get the mail or to get rid of the garbage or recyclables.  

Yesterday's email brought an opportunity to make an appointment for the Covid booster shots very near our home in New Jersey.  The slots available were before October 11 when we will be at home and free to sign up.  So I will wait a few days to peruse the site.  However, it is encouraging that it may be easier this time around to get an appointment and to hope that we can continue to feel safer in our area.  

This post is a recording for our memories of this time.  We don't regret making the effort to be here.  Jim's class has gone well and the students have been very appreciative of his being here.  He is beginning to get the usual requests for recommendations which have always been a part of his work and it is affirming that his name and good word mean something to others in his profession. 

My sister wondered when we would ever see each other again.  Jim's siblings expressed gratitude to me for initiating our meeting for dinner.  It's a long trip to Princeton so it is very good that we were able to make those visits when we were all in good health.  

I think this blog post shows that I am anticipating a return to what has become home for us in Princeton. We are thankful to be closer to our children and grandchildren and thankful for a very comfortable place to live without the concerns of home ownership.  

It's Beginning to Feel Like Home

Our house as seen
from Douglas Road

It's our fourth week at 53730 Juniper Road and the last few times we walked into our little house I thought that it was beginning to feel like home.  Thanks to Steve's care (head of maintenance) of us the first week, things are much better than they were.  The second window air conditioner has made cooling the bedrooms possible.  Plus the weather is cooler. The worst of this place is the little bathroom with no exhaust fan and a very feeble shower.  

This weekend's news was of a fatal shooting at a party house in South Bend.  It took place at a house of Holy Cross undergraduates and the neighbors said that there were often loud parties until the wee hours in the area.  That made me thankful for our quiet house where the only real noise is the toll road traffic but that is far enough away that it is not disturbing to me.  

Three roundabouts 
to our house

I am also thankful to have a washer and dryer in the kitchen.  I have to use the top of them for counter space but it is so good not to have to go to a laundromat.  Right now the bath towels are spinning in the dryer where I put them after our showers lest they get all sour smelling in the bathroom where they cannot dry out.

So three weeks from today we will leave for Princeton.  We have two dinner dates scheduled and at least three more in process.  I hope to practice the church organ soon but told David I would rather not play for Sunday's service.  

Yesterday I had visits with three friends or groups of friends.  It was good to have in person glimpses into their lives.  That was my most social day so far and today nothing is scheduled.  Although Jim suggested we think about our weekly grocery trip so that we avoid the football crowd this weekend.  Actually I have been so disorganized that I went to Martin's three days in a row earlier this week but but it is a quick and easy trip--easier than our grocery trips in Princeton.  (although every trip seems to involve three times of negotiating roundabouts!)

We turned on the TV last night to watch the Cubs without any drama of wondering which remote we should use and which button we should press.  The Marquee network is part of our package.  Sadly the Cubs lost on a passed ball in the bottom of the 9th but the loss was to the Phillies which I consider my team on the east coast. 

Maybe I'll go shopping at Talbott's or Chico's today.  Maybe I'll stop in at the Francis Branch Library.  Or maybe just sit on my lawn chair in the back yard and read a book.  Jim will meet his class this afternoon.  I am glad he is enjoying his students and the word from others is that they are enjoying the class.  So that is the most important takeaway from our seven week time away from Princeton.  And Princeton really is our "home." 

-------------September 21--Steve came by today to change the showerhead which will probably make our showers a better experience. I told him how much we appreciated him. I asked about his days off last week and he said they were spent playing golf which got our conversation going to courses in the area. Then he said that he tried being a professional bowler for a while in his youth but couldn't make a living at it so he got into maintenance. I had Jim tell him about his honorable withdrawal card from the Teamsters-probably one of the very few professors who can say that (thanks to summer jobs at Eckrich Meats in Kalamazoo). I told Steve he is the only former professional bowler we know! And what fun it is to know that. Now, if the shower is improved too how good that would be-even if we only have two weeks and two days left here. Yes, I am counting!

Notre Dame Football from Juniper Road

 

NBC did not broadcast ND's first football game of the season.  It was streamed on Peacock and we chose not to subcribe just for that game.  So I listened to ND radio on my phone  in the bedroom while Jim watched other games on TV in the living room of our South Haven condo. 

 At 5 pm, he asked if I wanted a glass of wine and I declined to have it alone in the bedroom.  Jim said I could bring the radio broadcast into the living room.  He hates listening to games.  I think it is because he feels a loss of control!  Later I found out he was not happy with my exclamations of joy and disgust emanating from the bedroom.  

ND pulled it off in a game that should not have been so close.  The new quarterback was sacked six times.  It was not pretty but it was a W as Jimmy Valvano used to say during his Wolfpack days years ago.  (32-29 over Toledo)

We were concerned about getting back that night into our rental house on Juniper Road which is usually one way traffic heading out of ND's campus post game.  So we stayed in South Haven until 7:30--1 1/2 hours after game time--and then headed home.  There was no problem heading towards campus at 8:30 so we were fine.

Sunday we observed chalk lines on the neighbor's lawn where they must have sold parking places.  The lease for our house specifically said that we were not allowed to use our lawn for football parking.  

Preparations for the home game were underway early in the week as we saw rows of Joy's Johns at the edge of parking lots all over campus--not just near the stadium.  There were signs telling people how to access their mobile tickets--a first game without paper tickets.  I wonder if the usual scalpers were at their places on Angela Boulevard this year.  Apparently the stadium was not full--60,000 in attendance instead of 80,000.  

We will see what happens next week when Purdue comes to ND.    We have a special hang tag that is supposed to allow us to move around campus streets but if the streets are one way into campus pre-game and one way out of campus post-game that will not make it easy to make our usual Saturday grocery shopping trip.  We will be able to watch the game on NBC and we might take in some of the pre-game excitement and rituals on campus.  

Go Irish! ---------------I walked outside to get rid of the garbage and heard music. It was the ND band practicing in the fields across Douglas Road and it was the Irish Fight Song I was hearing!

South Haven: Packing and Unpacking

Today we made our second trip this week back to South Bend from South Haven.  Jim had a candidate's job talk and  recruitment dinner on Tuesday and today and tomorrow he is leading his seminar.  Some people commute an hour daily so doing this twice in a week is not so bad!  I decided not to stay in South Haven alone without a car so I kept Jim company on the trip and during those afternoon and evening hours on Juniper Road just north of the Notre Dame campus.

I have been a bit overwhelmed by the constant packing and unpacking however.  Today we left Jim's shampoo in the shower in South Haven and my favorite pillow must be there because it is not here!  I have had more trouble with insomnia this week and I am attributing that to the transitions--and wanting to enjoy South Haven so much.  Plus we are constantly problem solving to get wifi access, run the TV remotes and turn the kitchen fan off. (a new remote battery was the answer)  Yes, these are first world problems but they are a challenge for two 75 year olds! 

Last night's sunset over Lake Michigan was worth the confusion of our many transitions.     We walked to town and waited 20 minutes as early as 5:30 for a table at Clementine's, a favorite and always busy restaurant.  We were walking home at 7:30 when I said to Jim, "I think it is beginning to rain."  Within three minutes, there was no doubt.  It was a downpour.  We took shelter at the entrance to the Maritime Museum and checked our weather app which said it would stop in 20 minutes.  It did lighten up and we walked the rest of the way home.  It was good to put on dry clothes.  Our shoes were still wet this morning. But then the sun came out over the lake and the sunset was glorious.  The sky was pink for miles north of us and the water reflected that pink sky.

The condo we rent in South Haven is so lovely.  And it is well equipped unlike this Notre Dame rental.  There was plenty of toilet paper, hand soap, paper towels,--even a bottle of Merlot and a container of coffee.  The owner gave us a $25 gift card to Bunde's Bakery, another favorite place two blocks away, but sadly they will only be open on Saturday and Sunday mornings for a few hours each.  This is the Covid story--staff shortages everywhere.  We'll get ourselves a treat and then leave the card for housekeeping to use. 

Jim and one of his favorite golfing buddies, Uncle John Lukaart, golfed at Hawkshead while my sister Lois and I did a bit of shopping.  We were happy to see our favorite women's apparel store, Janny's Beach House, was still open and I left with a shopping bag in my hand.  

It has been too windy and cool to enjoy the beach and the pool.  But the best part of renting #301 at 225 North Shore Drive is looking out at the lake which is always beautiful.  We will head out there again tomorrow afternoon for another 24 hours and maybe another beautiful sunset. We have to time our return to South Bend carefully however because Juniper Road has always been one way traffic on game days--coming into campus pre-game and leaving post-game.  

Patience

The Professor 

 It has not been an easy two weeks.  Packing up to make this temporary move to South Bend was stressful.  Our first week here was uncomfortable in the heat and with inadequate air conditioning.

We have finished our second week away from home.  Jim is teaching his fourth class as I write and it has gone well.  He is thinking of ways to get class participation so it is not his lecturing for a three hour session.   One student had a family crisis and is now in Columbia but other students are arranging  Zoom participation for him. 

I left my webbed chaise lounge chair at home in Princeton even though I knew I would like to have it here to sit outside.  There was no room in the car.  We couldn't find one here at a decent price, or really at any price, so I ordered one from Amazon thinking it was quite the extravagance when I knew it was just for six weeks.   And then it did not arrive as promised.  The update said it was coming late--and then it was possibly lost in transit--and then today, nine days after I ordered it and a week after it was promised, it arrived.  I'm glad I did not ask for the refund they offered.  I sat outside in the back yard and revelled in the breeze and being able to look at the tall trees--just like I did when we lived on Deerfield Loop.  I could hear insects but not the shrill sound of our Princeton 17 year cicadas.  I could hear distant traffic but it was not as loud as it can seem at night with the windows open.  (The toll road is within sight down Juniper Road.)  

In two days we will leave for a week at our condo rental in South Haven.  I look forward to seeing sunsets on Lake Michigan and to enjoying a decent shower and larger bathroom.  I have some concerns about being out there alone without a car when Jim has to commute to Notre Dame so I may come back with him for those two nights. It will be another transition and I am thinking that we are getting too old to keep changing our routines like this.  

A funny example of our need to cope and adjust was the fact that we did not know the dishwasher was a portable one and had to be hooked up to the sink.  No wonder it burned the food on the plates and silverware as it generated heat but no water.  Now we know but it may still be easier just to do the dishes by hand.  That is Jim's job but in his absence today, I did a few meals' worth and felt so good to do it for him!  Jim was musing about the fact that someone should have told us that it needed to be hooked up; it was certainly unfamiliar to us. 

 I have to be patient with myself and try to live in the present moment.  It was lovely sitting outside in the back yard in my new chair.  We have made progress in being comfortable in the last week with cooler weather and a better air conditioner and windows that maintenance was able to chip open.  

I have some sense of how I felt at the beginning of the pandemic over a year ago when I had to learn to be content with accomplishing very little in a day.  A load of wash, a trip to the grocery store, a book to read--it has to be enough.  I used to worry that solitude would be the curse of my old age because I craved it so much when I was busy with work and family.  Now I need to enjoy that solitude.  A good book, a blog to write, a chair in the backyard--all ways to try to be contented and patient.  I am trying to live in the present moment and to enjoy it and thank God for it.

Going to Church (and not from our living room sofa)

 

Yesterday we drove to Church of The Savior, formerly known as the South Bend Christian Reformed Church, put on our masks, and found socially distanced seats in the sanctuary.  As we greeted a few people outside, a young man came up on his skateboard and wondered if it was safe to leave it outside.  I was hesitant but went into my church lady mode and asked him if he was a visitor.  He was--his second time at church--and an exchange student from the Netherlands.  I was not sorry I asked and later gave him our phone numbers.  

Worshipping and singing with a mask on was uncomfortable.  But it was good to worship with others and to hear the familiar voice of Chris Mihut leading the liturgy and John Haas preaching and to hear the amazing David Banga on the piano enlivening the hymns.  We look forward to hearing Pastor Chris Rea preach next week. Our first Sunday back at "our church" was the church picnic so we had lots of opportunity to visit at the tables under the shade trees and to enjoy burgers and a variety of potluck salads and desserts.  

The babies are now all two years old.  A few more mothers are visibly pregnant again.  We missed three dear friends who passed away in the last two years.  We missed several others who may have been on vacation or just unwilling to be in large groups of people.  We'll look for them next week when a special back to school blessing service will be held outside.  

It was good to worship in community again especially a community in which we knew almost everyone.  It was good to see and meet a few newcomers as well--in a church which has always been a transitional place for the academic community here in South Bend.  May God bless the Church of the Savior, small but mighty!

Four Days and Four NIghts in our New Home

 We have made progress in settling into our little white house at the end of the long driveway off Juniper Road.  Thank God!  The first photo is of our 5 pm happy hour with our improvised table.

Steve, the head of maintenance, is my new best friend in South Bend.  He was kind enough to say that he talked to his wife and thought about how he would feel if he was in our position.  The ladies in the theology office gave us a gift package of chocolate covered fruit with a note saying how they didn't mean for us to feel like the first years of our marriage--in student life again. And that is the way it feels!  

It will be very hot for three more days and then cool off next week.   The a/c which replaced the one that died is just not enough to cool off the bedrooms down the hall.  But by 11 pm the temperature has gone down below the 84 it is in the bedrooms so we can open windows and be comfortable enough.  I don't like the constant white noise of a room a/c but have to tolerate it during the day.

I have one load of wash started and it is so good to have that option in our house.  The dishwasher managed to bake the food on the dishes so we (Jim) will just do those by hand.  The bathroom does not have an exhaust fan and the wet towels get very smelly quickly.  I have towels in the dryer right now--after our showers.  

How luxurious our apartment will seem when we get home!  We have appreciated it before but will do so even more in October!

I had lunch with one of my friends from church yesterday and we had plenty to talk about for two hours--the time went very quickly.  I popped into TJ Maxx and tried on clothes for the first time in 18 months.  Sadly, the dresses looked cute on the hangers and terrible on me!  But it was fun to shop a bit!  We are going to a favorite restaurant tonight to celebrate our anniversary a few days earlier--and the end of our first week here.  Grand Mere Inn in Stevensville is an unpretentious place right on Lake Michigan--with great seafood and a wonderful pate and bread served before the meal.  Hope they still do that!

A few observations about ways South Bend differs from Princeton.   We had forgotten about triple trailer trucks on the toll road.  They are enormous and a bit scary.  Then there are the multiple roundabouts on the edge of campus.  We go through three of them on Douglas Road  alone to get to our house.  There are beggars on the street corners with signs proclaiming their homelessness and need for money. The trees are all green right to the edges of the branches. There is no sign of the omnipresent "flagging" left by our Princeton cicadas.   We did not see posters requesting mask wearing at the Dollar Tree.  Many people are not wearing masks although I have not been looking with great care for observance of that precaution.  We wear masks at least. I was the only one in Salon Rouge yesterday wearing a mask.  My stylist had been vaccinated.  

So we have made progress this week.  Jim met his class for the first time and seemed pleased with the students.  One of them asked him if he came to ND just for this class and thanked him!   Another one has a wife who is doing graduate work in Princeton.  Still another needs to be excused to travel to Columbia because his grandmother just succumbed to Covid.  He asked if Jim would be OK with a Zoom presence which another classmate will set up.  Jim is fine with that as long as he is not the person in charge. 

So progress is made.   Another installment in our retirement journey!

24 Hours in our New (temporary) Home

 

We had two good days of travel but the long trip from Princeton to South Bend (700 miles)  made me thankful that we are not making that trip regularly to see our children and grandchildren.  From Princeton, we travel 10 minutes, one hour, or 2 1/2 hours to see the three families and that is wonderful!

We arrived on the Notre Dame campus around 1 pm.  Jim popped into the theology departmental office to get our house key and welcome packet.  We quickly found the white house set back from Juniper Road down a long driveway.  All good until we tried to open the front door.  The key went in but the door would not open.  Fortunately we had a garage door opener and were able to get in that way.

First impressions were that the house was clean.  We were happy to have a bathroom available but there was no toilet paper.  Or soap.  There was a standing room air conditioner going full blast in the living room to cool the entire house and it was very, very noisy.  We quickly checked to see if we could get wifi and were told our password was incorrect.  We were not off to a good start!  We called Steffany, our Bradley Rental contact, and she put in a maintenance order and said she would come by later to check the password.

Steve, the maintenance person, came within a few hours and saw that the door needed to be sanded in order to open.  He said he would come back in the morning with tools and to make a list of anything else we needed.  It didn't take long to come up with a list.

Steffany also came by within a few hours and determined that she had given us a wrong password--by one number.  So we were connected with her apologies!  She was unable to decipher our TV remote access so told us to ask Steve about that too.

It was 83 in the bedrooms and the a/c unit was too loud for me to sleep through the noise.  The windows were stuck and impossible to open.  But we made it through our first night and Steve came in the morning and fixed the front door.  He also fixed the ceiling fan in the living room to get us some moving air and with difficulty he opened the bedroom windows so at least when it cools off at night we can open windows.  He and his helper Jack were very jolly about our needs and commiserated with us as to why Notre Dame cannot afford to put central a/c in their rental units.  We expressed our appreciation to him for his quick response to our requests.  Jim figured out the remote last night so we were able to watch the Cubs on their own network-and their win with a walk-off home run.

So this morning I am more optimistic about spending six weeks in this house on the edge of campus.  It is clean and it is quiet--at least with windows shut the traffic sounds are not disturbing.  I could hear some motorcycles in the midnight hour but not later. We lived for the first 30 years of our lives without air conditioning and soon it will be cooler--maybe in another week or so.  

We have been to "our Martin's" grocery store twice already and found it spacious and bright--unlike our rather crowded McCaffrey's in Princeton.  We got Jim's watch battery replaced easily at the nearby and familiar Batteries Plus location--a problem for us in Princeton. 

It's our 54th wedding anniversary today and I have a sense of our being newly weds starting over in a new place.  We have done that many times and even if this house is less than ideal, it is temporary and we will go back to our lovely, luxurious apartment in Princeton in several weeks.