We Voted!

 Our mail in ballots were sent to us a few weeks ago.  We filled them out and rather than mailing them in, Jim deposited them in a secure box at the township offices as we have done for the last several years.  There is not much choice here in New Jersey where for some offices there are only Democratic candidates.  But we have done our civic duty.  We have received notice that they have been received. 

It looks as if the Democrats will win many offices in the mid-term elections with President Trump at an all time low approval rating.  Gas and diesel prices are high.  The war in Iran is not ending.  But what worries me is that even if the Democrats win big, what will President Trump do to call the election invalid?  He tried in January of 2020 and did not succeed thanks to a principled Mike Pence for one.  But who will stop him this time?  I fear the present Congress will not seat the new members and will give in to his demands. 

I pray nightly for our president to have a change of heart from his lies, his need for revenge, and his arrogance.  His filters are gone as is true of others who are suffering from dementia.  His rallys are full of vulgar talk and really embarrassing comments about men’s bodies lately and his press conferences  are full of insults to women reporters.  It is clear that he favors Putin and is encouraging Russia in its war against Ukraine which seems endless.  He does not support our allies in Europe.  And we have two more years of this man in charge of our country.  

David French in the NYT today, October 25 Given enough time, every institution takes on the character of its leader. Trump is a cruel man, he leads a cruel movement and only the total defeat of both can free the nation from their malign control

November 4 

The best comment I read this morning was “decency won.”  And it did !  The Democrats won the Senate and the House.  Trump says it is because he was not on the ballot.  Others say it is because he was in a sense on the ballot and people were ready for a big change from the war, the inflation, the cruelty and the crudeness of his administration.  I hope and pray that there are changes soon and that he is kept under control.  That there will be no nuclear attack on Iran.  That Hegseth is the first to go when the new Congress meets.  That we can work with our allies again.  

Progress!

 Adrian, the Xfinity technician, just left and we are connected to the world again from our apartment. No need to go out to the “living room” of Stonebridge to get guest access.  It was a problem of some background security getting turned on.  It was not an Xfinity problem but he fixed it. I was uneasy watching him fuss with it and muttering to himself!  So we can buy from Amazon this afternoon, we can give to our churches, we can check the PNC site to make sure there are no more fraudulent churgess.  I can check to see the comments on the FB post I put up about our move—and that was heart warming.

And the dishwasher is running.  It was not our inability to get it started.  The water was not hooked up to it.  No wonder it would not work! It took a few tries to get maintenance here but all good for now!

And we learned that the mirrors in the bathrooms are really medicine cabinets and lot s of our personal items were hidden in there.  That was the disadvantage of hiring unpackers.  

Tomorrow we need to sign for the new credit card that PNC is sending expedited,  Jim is golfing so I will need to be at the landline phone to get the call from the front desk.  But with WiFi access again, I won’t mind being here.  And maybe it won’t take all day.

Tonight we may try going to the cafe to order a meal.  Tomorrow is our first housekeeping service—too early for us but as new folks, we have no choice.  Saturday is takeout only, Sunday is another brunch and a friend has already invited us to his table.  We are finding out way.  

Jim is sending in with our WiFi the address changes for voter registration and drivers license bureau but can’t print the confirmation page because the printer is offline,  a new problem to be solved!

——————We were directed to a table in the cafe that could seat more than two.  A woman came up and asked if she could join us and we agreed.  That turned out well.  She was good company and as always, we learned a bit more about how to order and what is good.  I had a very good burger and fries and coleslaw and took half of the burger home.  Jim had a very good chicken sandwich and carrots.  We enjoyed decaf coffee again when our companion said she would order it if we did.  So that is how one meets more folks here.  

So this was a day of great progress—dishwasher works, WiFi works, and we found a new way to get food easily without doing takeout.  

November 5  Our first day of the weekly housekeeping was scheduled for 8:15 am.  Too early  They were out of here in an hour—a new woman and her supervisor.  We can ask for a later time and I will do so.  I think the management wants to make sure we elderly folk maintain the apartment.  

And then my iPad would not connect with many sites.  I was in despair after thinking we had it all fixed.  So I tried turning it off and back on and hooray!  Here I am at my blog.

My post on voting ends with how happy we are with yesterday’s results in the Senate and House of Representatives.  It is a relief but now I am praying that President Trump doesn’t decide to bomb Iran nd get us into a nuclear war.  I don’t trust his judgement or that of his advisors.  Vance would be against it; Hegseth might like to show his testosterone with a bomb.  

—————I will be so glad when the complications of moving are over.  I struggled to change my address for my SSA account.  Jim was successful earlier.  I was not.  But I have a bar code to bring to the Rocky Hill PO on Monday where they can help me.  At least I got that far.

And we are getting mail forwarded.  The lost credit card which was cancelled due to fraud (because we had not activated it) came today.  I stayed in the apartment all day when Jim was golfing waiting for the expedited new credit card to arrive so I could sign for it at the reception desk.  There were two wrong number phone calls but no request to sign for the credit card.  So I will stay here tomorrow while Jim does me a huge favor and gets my requested books at the library.  I have not been driving and I have got to get into the habit of doing it again.  However, I still am fearful of the library parking deck.  

November 9

The Rocky Hill PO could not help me but said I had to go to the SSA offices.  I tried their 800 number and with some frustration spelling my name (they kept saying Anderkam!), they put me through to a real person after about a ten minute wait.  And Jeremy, bless him, was the answer and said he was happy to help me!  So that address change has gone through.

The resident’s director who scheduled a meeting with us today said that we would get a later housekeeping time if someone died or moved out.  But we could ask for biweekly cleaning which I think I will do. She answered several of our other questions. 

Maybe tomorrow there will be no more things to schedule for our transition in moving.  Maybe we have found everything and we can begin to live a more normal existence.  Maybe!  

Adjusting to a New Life

 Our newest mantra is “where is it?”  Not “dump it” like it was the last week.  Where is the thermostat?  Not in the living room but in the master bedroom.  Where is the remote?  I know the Linda was careful to put it in a good place. It was in a big box of cords, etc. in the entrance closet.  Where are Jim’s eye wipes? (Still not found). Where are my somniguard tablets?  (Not found) 

Giving up the drawers in our walk in closet at Barclay Square was sad.  I put everything in the dresser and then the “girls” combined even more stuff in there.  What a hodgepodge of clothing—underwear, socks, PJs, etc.  I am switching things to the yellow chest of drawers and that means the music that was stored there has to have a new home.  That will temporarily be on the floor next to the keyboard.  

I am telling myself it does not all have to be done today.  We have successfully mastered the shower and Jim made coffee.  Out next door neighbor Ruth stopped by with chocolates and to welcome us.  Our friend Pam Wakefield is coming by soon to welcome us and answer any questions.  Jim has already contacted maintenance because the kitchen sink won’t drain.  

Once Xfinity comes (and they are on their way), we can hook up to the portal here and get the package concierge so we can order from Amazon again.  And figure out how to get the NYT weekend papers again.  We are doing fine with our digital access but without WiFi we could not do our puzzle.  

Actually, there are still several items in the car.  And we have to go to Barclay Square this afternoon for a move out walkthrough to see what damages we have done.  Not any I hope but they have charged us for carpet cleaning and probably will charge us for the oven. 

But for now, I am looking out our living room window at the beautiful tree changing colors.  I see people walking by on the paths.  We can make a good life here! 

————Our parking spot was open for us today so whoever had taken it over has given up.  Jim had trouble dealing with the entry door near the car and we don’t know what the issue was.  We did our move out walk through at Barclay Square and signed up for the $300 cleaning but learned that we won’t have to pay for carpet cleaning after all because the place was due for new carpet.  You win some, you lose some!  And speaking of losing some, even though we are signed up for the meal plan, we just spent $57 at ShopRite on snacks, fruit, etc.  Where is the peanut butter?  We could not find it in our cupboards so had to buy more.  I suppose we will find it now!  

—————-

October 31. We are not missing trick or treating from our second floor apartment.  That was always a challenge!  We have made progress in our new way of living today.

We made a trip to Trader Joe’s this morning and decided that may be a bit far to do often.  But we enjoyed using the cart that Jim put together to carry our groceries from the car to the apartment.  Then sadly, I somehow lost the magnetic base for my required name tag.  Jim retraced our steps but it must have fallen off and gotten lost under the leaves.  We will get a new one on Monday when Katie, the residence director is in.

This afternoon was taken up with a ND win over Navy.  The TV is hooked up and Xfinity says their testing says there is a problem.  We did note that the video does not seem exactly coordinated with the audio.  They will come back to adjust if that is the issue.  

It was a beautiful fall day and I have realized that I can walk with far greater back comfort if I use my walker.  So we did a nice walk on the Stonebridge campus heading down to a lovely little pond.  These halls are long inside the buildings so the walker is very helpful, even if a blow to my pride. But then so is the cane I usually use. 

We learned how to order take-out at the cafe and filled out a form with our choices.  It was ready to be picked up at 4 pm.  So we ate really early and did have to microwave the supper because it was lukewarm.  I am learning what makes a good meal.  The best meal this week of the three thus far for me was the chicken sandwich which is available every night as is a burger.  The spinach salad with my meal was very good tonight.  We didn’t order dessert but enjoyed our Trader Joe’s ice cream.  It was good to eat in our own room watching TV.

November 2. All is fine here except the crisis of not having WiFi.  It disappeared yesterday.  An Xfinity technician is coming Wednesday morning but we are so used to having it immediately available.  Yesterday we sat in the Stonebridge “living room” and used their Guest WiFi and we were able to do our NYT crossword puzzle together.  We can do that again today.  

We can walk to our church’s small group meeting at a cottage on the grounds here.  We will order takeout for supper again—but maybe just soup will be enough.  I have two leftover meals in the refrigerator as it is.

We are still in the “where is it?” mode.  I can’t find two of my lighter weight sweaters.  Jim can’t find his eye wipes and one of his OTC drops.  We do have our second load of laundry going so that is progress.  

Two More Days and M Day!

 This morning we met with Francesca Fogg, the sales agent at Stonebridge, to finalize the process.  We signed a 40 page document of rules and regulations.  Jim wrote out two large checks, one for the buy in and then one for the life care option.  Francesca gave us our fobs, our nametags, and our security bracelets.  And a box of chocolates!  

We decided to take a look at our new place.  It smelled very new.  It looked very nice!  I was happy to note that we can see a tree outside our windows, not just a grassy lawn.  It looked like plenty of kitchen storage space but maybe not as much closet space as we have here.  The living room floor looks pretty bare.  We may have to add carpeting later as we have done in the bedrooms. Jim was happy to see overhead lighting which we don’t have now.  

We checked out the walking distance to the cafe and dining hall and brought a copy of the menu home with us.  I may be happy to use my walker again for those long halls. 

Tomorrow the packers will be here at 9 am.  Tonight is clean out the refrigerator night but sadly there is quite a bit left in the freezer and refrigerator.  I hate to throw out food but I did get rid of mostly frozen leftovers.  The packers will just have to move some food into the new place after all. 

———-We made one more trip to Dollar Tree tonight because Jim was out of dishwasher cubes and I wanted some Dollar Tree mints.  We are packing up suitcases for tomorrow and Thursday because once the packers go to work, things will be out of reach for us.  That is an anxiety-producing exercise for me because I don’t want to be without my medications, my earplugs, my somniguard—let alone clothes and pjs.  I asked Jim how I could rescue my warm down bathrobe from the packers and he suggested putting it in the car.  (We plan to put some medications and our strong box in the car.) 

Tomorrow night the Moorheads are having us over for dinner.  48 more hours and we can hope to be in our lovely new apartment having had a meal in the dining hall with Stonebridge friends who have organized a table.  No TV sports yet that night—that will be our Xfinity appointment Friday morning. Maybe Saturday we can relax.  And enjoy watching Irish football.  Will we need a few groceries?  Probably but not much.  Then Sunday will be the adventure of taking a bus to church and having brunch afterwards with our Nassau friends.     To be continued!! 

————-It’s 9:15 pm and I was looking for a little freezer bag to put a tweezer in so it didn’t get lost in the suitcase.  And I find maybe a dozen or more plastic forks and spoons and knives in the drawer.  Into the trash!  Then Jim comes up with some flower food.  Do I want it?  No, into the trash.  Earlier this evening he found NYC Metro cards from years ago behind some of his medications.  I despair!  When will there be an end to stuff to dump?  The answer is tomorrow.  There has to be an end when the packing starts.  

October 28. The “girls” as our moving manager called them just left at about 1:30 having arrived around 9:15.  They took a short lunch break around our dining room table having used our microwave to fix some meals.  They worked hard and our apartment is full of boxes.  

I thought my phone cord was packed but Jim found it on the living room coffee table where I had put everything we did not want them to pack.  Good for me!  Jim wanted a snack for lunch but everything was packed away—except for there was a hard-boiled egg in the refrigerator.  He forgot to tell the ladies that there were dishes in the dishwasher so they will have to be packed tomorrow.  Good—because then there are sharp knives to cut up an apple if we wish.  This living in this transition is not fun but soon we will be settled in to our new place.  The “girls” will be there tomorrow to unpack things.  

Meanwhile there are some issues with new paving at our apartment complex and the trash receptacles are hidden somewhere.  Tony, one of the maintenance men, took our bags of trash away.  We just hope it won’t be a problem for the movers tomorrow.  We have warned the moving company and Eboni, our leasing manager here, and hope they can find a way around the work.  

What a contrast to seven years ago when we packed everything.  We made many trips to Menards to get more boxes and then it was a bother to break them down for recycling afterwards.  This time we are paying for service and that is good.  It still is not easy!  

Tonight we can watch another World Series game because the Tampa Bay Rays kept the Brewers from sweeping the series with a 12th inning walk-off single last night. 

October 29. We are in our new home at A107 Stonebridge and it is lovely.  The movers came at 8:30 and were so efficient in packing things up and moving them out.  We walked through the apartment to make sure it was empty.  There were a few things we missed—like the bag of toys on the floor of the closet in the second bedroom.  It gave me a lump in my throat to say good-bye to a place where we had a good life for seven years. 

 We decided to do a BK lunch and then headed to Stonebridge where the movers and ladies were hard at work.  We sat in the lounge until they called us to look over the placement of the furniture.  Everything looked great!  And the ladies had unpacked everything making it look so livable with knick-knacks in place and photos on shelves.  

One little snag—someone else was in our reserved covered parking place.  Francesca will figure that one out and  find out who the guilty culprit is!  She asked if we took a photo of the car.  Never occurred to us to do so!  

We are very pleased with how lovely it all looks.  And now we are waiting for friends to stop by and walk us to the dining room for dinner.  We feel welcomed!  

No TV yet.  That will get hooked up tomorrow.  No WiFi either until Xfinity comes in the morning.  So no TV sports or NYT crossword puzzle yet.  It is a process and it has been a process but we are very pleased and thankful at this point.  

—————-We could not find the TV remote but eventually found it in a box of electronic stuff in a closet (like the router too.)  We could not find the thermostat but eventually found it in the master bedroom.  Jim just found the laundry detergent.  My duffle bag of shoes?  On top of the closet that will be Jim’s closet. I think this may be our cry of despair for a few days.  

Closing the windows which were wide open for fresh air was a bit tricky.  Closing the blinds also took a bit of maneuvering.  Where to put our name tags which we need to wear on campus?  In a good spot so we don’t lose them or forget them when we walk out the door. How about the table behind the loveseat?  The table that used to be in our foyer and we are really happy to have found a place for it here too even if there is no foyer. 

Dinner worked out well.  We were given a complimentary dinner to welcome us so no points used as of today.  I may learn to ask for half portions because there was too much meat and potato’s for me to finish.  We were able to take it to go however.  We brought a bottle of wine to the table so that worked out well. I asked the ladies to each take a bottle of wine with them to thank them for their hard work and they were a bit hesitant but their team leader gave them the OK!  Tomorrow we eat with other friends and there is also a reservation made for us for Sunday brunch when apparently the post-church crowd is treated to mimosas or wine.  

Countdown to Moving Day

 Yesterday, October 15, Laura came for lunch and left with artwork from her childhood, movie tapes to be digitalized,, photo albums, some books for Henry, a “vintage” blanket from my parents, and even a “vintage” dress that I wore to one of Jeff’s Math Olympiad dinners at the State Department more than 30 years ago.  I just could not put that in the Green Drop pile.  I don’t know what she will do with it! 

Then last night Jeff and Susan made another trip here to pick up two of the black bookcases to pass on to our grandchildren.  They had previously taken two other bookcases and some glassware. 

Today, Linda from Byron Home and Linda from the moving company came to do our “walkthrough.”  Many photos were taken of what needs to be packed and what will be left behind for them to dispose of.  Linda praised us for all we had done already and I felt affirmed.  I think they come into places where a lot of sorting and downsizing still needs to be done and we have done a lot.  

Linda stressed that they will make it as easy as possible to settle into our new place—with food put away, dishes unpacked and even beds made.  I think we have been told us it is best to stay out of the apartment until they are finished and then come in to okay placement of things.  I am thinking that might be my time for that piece of carrot cake I saw in the Stonebridge cafe—my reward.  I can just sit in the Stonebridge lounge with my laptop.  

October 19   I said that there was nothing on our agenda today for our big move but I was wrong.  We got an estimate from the movers and had questions about it.  Jim got information from Eboni about getting the carpets cleaned and our resposibity for that and took care of those appointments.  I agreed to a pickup service on Friday for items that we are not moving—all at an extra charge.  The money is flowing out but we don’t have much choice in much of it.  We did agree to “the works” for making things easier and so far I do believe Byron Home is coming through on that.

A happy thought is that we have friends asking us over for meals two of the nights of moving week and a friend at Stonebridge arranging a dinner for our first night there in the dining hall.  We have friends!  And for that we can be very thankful.  

October 22  Yesterday I met my friend Peggy for a chat at the Barclay Square playground as we do every week or two.  She reminded me that may be our last meeting with my being able to just walk over there.  Afterwards, I felt very melancholy about that thought.  But in an email later, she told me that her car knows the way to Stonebridge.  We will just have to put out a little more effort into our meeting.

Today Jim printed up the 40 page document we have to sign next week with Francesca.  All the rules and regulations and warnings about life at Stonebridge.  It is overwhelming and I have to tell myself others have signed and as Jim reminded me that Stonebridge or its parent company Springpoint is a business.  So we will sign even without asking an attorney to look it over.

But then tonight I fixed pork chops for supper.  I put them in the oven with broccoli and potato’s at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes.  The broccoli was done before that.  The potato’s were not done when the meat was done.  The meat was dry even with BBQ sauce on it.  It was not a great meal.  And soon, our meals will be provided for us and I really do look forward to that.  

October 25  I keep finding things to throw out.  Old news clippings.  Magazines.  Princeton Art Museum quarterlies.  Tomorrow I will go through room by room and determine what else can go.  We don’t want to move stuff that we don’t want or need. A few more things are going into the Green Drop pile for tomorrow morning.  Is this their 5th trip here?  I have been grateful for their service.  Seven years ago it was our frequent trips to the Goodwill container in the Martin’s parking lot.  This is so convenient. 

It would be so much easier to stay right here where we have been happy.  But this can’t last and that is what is sobering about this move.  One of us will outlive the other one at Stonebridge.  One of us will be alone there at some point.  And then it would be good to have the support of others and the security of medical and emergency personnel.  One of the hymns this morning at church spoke to me:

1 God of our life, through all the circling years,
we trust in you;
in all the past, through all our hopes and fears,
your hand we view.
With each new day, when morning lifts the veil,
we own your mercies, Lord, which never fail.

2 God of the past, our times are in your hand;
with us abide.
Lead us by faith, to hope's true Promised Land;
be now our guide.
With you to bless, the darkness shines as light,
and faith's fair vision changes into sight.

3 God of the coming years, thro' paths unknown
we follow you;
when we are strong, Lord, leave us not alone;
our faith renew.
Be now for us in life our daily bread,
our heart's true home when all our years have sped.

Source: Hymns of Promise: a large print songbook #147

Through paths unknown!  When all our years have sped.  So this is the big week!  Next week we hope to take the bus to church and join our fellow bus riders for brunch in the dining hall afterward.  

I think I will post this blog now and then record the last week here as it goes. 

Day by Day Progress

 October 9?  I will keep a running record of what we are doing each day in preparation for this big move.  This will be of little interest to anyone but Jim and me but we will be happy to read about all we did when we are comfortably settled into our new home.

Yesterday Jim called State Farm to change our renter’s policy to the new place—and change our address.  Today he called Xfinity to arrange turning our system off here on October 29 and setting up the new one on October 30.  It actually is going to cost us less money because the basic cable package is part of our Stonebridge monthly fee. Jim said the salesperson, was quite chatty and wondered what he had taught and then asked if he had been to the Holy Land.  Well, as it turned out that it was the amusement park she had in mind, not the land of Israel!  

I went to the USPS site online to put in an address change for October 29.  Nothing is easy but eventually I made it work and did not sign up for additional services being advertised by them. I think I did not!  They did charge me $1.25 for some reason, but I turned down extended forwarding services at greater prices. 

I changed the Green Drop pick up from October 12 to October 19 so that Laura can look over anything she might want when she comes later this week and what is left I will give to them.  I tried on a dress I have not worn for years and it was too small, of course, so that goes into the giveaway pile. 

We threw out plastic leftover containers and tops that did not match.  I’m looking for a safe way to dispose of Mounjaro injectables.  

I bought an inexpensive landline phone from Amazon because our friend Pam says that is how you communicate in the community.  Stonebridge has its own phone exchange so we do not pay for that.  I bought a cart at her suggestion too—to transport groceries, etc. from the parking lot which will be quite a walk.  We will miss having a garage.  

So that is it for today.  Unless I get inspired to do more.  I wake up in the middle of the night and write things down and even emailed Laura about a plan. It will be so good to be settled in—in a few weeks.

October 10. My goal for today was to empty the drawers in our walk-in closet because the closets at Stonebridge are smaller and there won’t be drawer space there.  That meant finding room in my two dressers which are already full-one in the second bedroom is full of music and summer clothes.  But I made an effort to throw out some things and give other things to Green Drop. 

 Again, I had so many lovely scarves that I have forgotten I have.  Maybe I will dress with more care wth living with so many others around us.  I will probably forget where I have put my bathing suit and all the belts I never use and then there are all those panty hose I never wear. The top drawer in my dresser has always been where I stored my stash of chocolate—my antidepressant cure.  And that’s where I keep some of the nice things Jim has written to me for birthdays and anniversary’s.  Those can stay there!  A place for underwear and socks is less important.  

October 11 Israel Mizrahi, the Brooklyn bookseller, came at 6:10 am and left with a van full of Jim’s books.  How much did he pay Jim? It never came up, Jim said.  It’s OK.  We are both relieved to have so many books go to someone who can do something with them and not just fill a landfill. I managed to sleep through the whole process thanks to ear plugs and a sleep aid. I thought it was a night to indulge in help!  Jim set his alarm for 5;30 am so he could be ready to greet Israel.  The early time was necessary so he could return to NYC for his nephew’s bris.  He said he had ten children of his own. 

I wish I could add photos of the shelves he took and of the pile of books Jim kept for his own use—now on our bedroom floor.  

But this is a day of great progress.  Jim will not call in students to glean books, which may be a shame but this was easier and it is done!  

Jeff and Susan brought us pizza and left with the metal shelving in the garage and the smaller wooden bookcase in Jim’s study.  The metal shelving will go in their basement and Katie will take the wooden bookcase.  Plus they took some glassware and a 9X13 glass baking dish—because I don’t need two of them.  I rarely even use one!

October 12 

Amazon delivered the landline telephone and shopping cart that I ordered at Pam Wakefield’s suggestion as well as some plastic containers that we can store meds in.  We filled out our mail-in votes but will not register to vote in Somerset County until after we move.  Otherwise we didn’t do much today.  Probably there is not much to do this week until we have our two meetings with Byron Home on Wednesday and Friday.

October 13. I just emptied the closet in the yellow bedroom of all my winter things. There is an article in the NYT today about the neuroscience of decluttering and why it is so difficult.  I do not need all the warm sweaters that I own but I love every one of them.  So I will not part with them just yet.  If there isn’t room for them at Stonebridge, I may have to do so with regrets.  Others may need the warmth.  But while emptying the closet, I found a shadow silhouette and wondered who it was!  Jim!   So we saved it all these years.  Now to dump it?  That hurts.  

It is so strange to look at all the empty bookshelves in the hall.  But a relief to have all of those books gone.  

October 14  Deborah, our space planner, sent us a preliminary drawing of our new home and everything fits!  Almost everything.  We cannot take all six black bookshelves but three of them should fit in the living room along a wall.  Susan says she could pass bookshelves on to our grandchildren! The cedar chest and Jim’s favorite mission chair are in!  And even my keyboard has a place under a window in the second bedroom.  And the lovely glass table we have in our entryway will fit behind the loveseat in the living room.  And nothing looks crowded!  Hooray!

There are three closets and they are not as large as what we have now.  I am thinking the bathtub which we never use here will be my storage place for the boxes of weekly calendars and Blog2Print books I have accumulated over the years.  And maybe the toys we have saved.  

 I am very happy with Deborah’s work and happy with the way it looks.  And relieved.  

It’s still two weeks until we move and we have assigned ourselves tasks for many of those days. But we are making progress and I think I will post this and start a new entry after our “walkthrough” with the movers on Friday. 

There’s Still Time!

 Every day I go through more belongings.  I am constantly making decisions: throw it away, give it to Green Drop, or save it with the idea that I will use it again. 

I went through jewelry this morning and realized that I never wear any of it.  Why don’t I?  Maybe for the same reason I stopped wearing makeup a few years ago (except for lipstick).  Covid kept us at home.  Then it was my hip surgeries keeping us at home.  I forgot I had most of the jewelry I had accumulated over the years.  Well, I can start wearing it now—maybe as we will be dining with others much of the time at Stonebridge.  I will put out a little more effort!

I have already mentioned the many books I think I will read again.  I would have to have a few years left to do that—and not get distracted by the latest mystery from a favorite author.

And the CDs—so much beautiful music.  I need to make an effort to put one on and enjoy it.

And the piano music.  Maybe having that beautiful Steinway piano in the Stonebridge auditorium will send me to try my Bach and Debussy and Satie and even Einaude again—they will sound better than they could on the keyboard.  

Should I vow to make these changes in my life?  Maybe not just yet.  Maybe it will be enough to get moved in, unpacked, and adjusted to a new way of life.  Then I will try to amend my ways.

We Have a Move-in Date

 This morning we met with Dawn, the nurse at Stonebridge, for our assessment.  She went over our medical forms and gave us procedure and safety recommendations.  And she also evaluated us to determine our competency.  Jim told me later that he did not tell me she was going to do a memory task because he knew I would get all worried about that. 

It was quite a session with the usual questions about who was president now and who was president before and what day, month, and year it was.  But more inventive were a math question asking us to subtract numbers (take seven from 31 and then keep going) and a request to repeat the letters in a word backwards (world—dlrow).  We managed to convince Dawn that we could be “independent.” 

And now we have dates to add to the long list of to do items for October.  October 27 is our settlement meeting with Francesca when we give her our payment and sign some more forms. October 28 will be the packing day and October 29 the actual moving day and unpacking day.  We will try to schedule October 30 for our much needed WiFi and TV hookup with Xfinity.  

Jim has the Brooklyn bookseller coming this weekend to buy books we hope.  I have three more bags of books for the library donations but I will have to live a long time to reread all the books that I cannot give up.  I found the record player and will try it out tomorrow and then may have to keep those old Pat Boone and Janis Joplin records.  I went over our stack of CDs and wondered why I never listen to so many beautiful recordings. I will amend my ways.  

When I posted the subject line “Going, Going, Gone” for the movie tapes I found in a closet, both Laura and Jeff stopped me and said they would take some and consider digitalizing the record of their childhood.  I think by the time Dan came along our camera was in need of repair.  Laura is setting a time to make the trip from Gladwyne to pick up some artwork and books and whatever else I can convince her to take!

Today was a day of progress!  It will be so good to be settled in our new home.

————-October 7 Here are a few updates.  The record player works and Pat Boone sang out to me nice again.  Jim and I will have to hear Johnny Mathis and Simon and Garfunkle again too.

I thought that I had no goals today for going through stuff but when I went to put away my prescriptions in the closet, I found three bags of Covid tests—all outdated and quickly thrown out.  That was easy.  No decisions involved!  I decided that the six photo albums could be moved to Stonebridge as they are even if the only place for them is on the floor.  I can go over them at my leisure and put photos into envelopes which will take a lot less room.  And I don’t need six photos of sunsets at South Haven and as precious as they were, maybe not as many baby photos of the grandchildren.

This afternoon Debra from Byron Homes called to go over the placement of our furniture at Stonebridge. I was worried that not everything would fit in a smaller apartment, but it looks like we will be OK.  I would be so sad if my mother’s hope chest would have to go—plus it is full of memorabilia.  And Jim needs his study room chair with his armrests for his morning cup of coffee and his daily Hebrew reading.  Some things just cannot be given up!  Debra was so helpful even keeping in mind where the cable outlets were. 

At this point I think the extra we are paying to Byron Homes to facilitate this move will be worth it.  Debra will email us a plan of the apartment with everything drawn in.  

Thursday Nights with Mounjaro

 When it comes time for my weekly injection of Mounjaro, I can’t believe it has been a whole week.  I feel as if I just stuck myself 24 hours ago.  And I rebel because I didn’t want to do it again. Each time it is a bit intimidating because the procedure does not seem to take place like the instructions say.  There is no up to ten seconds between clicks—the clicks are simultaneous and then we carefully look for a little red puncture wound and the fact that the plunger is down in the apparatus.  And we do know that I push away from the table before I finish my meals and I have lost  maybe five pounds and I do have some indigestion although not bad at all.  So there are signs that it has happened and has its effects. 

When I was feeling a bit sorry for myself,  I remembered how Jim drove down Route 1 to UCA for 44 days of radiation.  He didn’t complain—at least not much.  Just when the routine got changed when there was a machine malfunction.  And all of this with Covid precautions so I really could not keep him company even when he got to ring the bell on his last day of treatment. And now five years later, he is doing well with one good follow-up test after another every six months.  

So I am doing this to get that A1C down to pre-diabetes levels again and Dr. Delacruz assures me that it will be successful.  I know it is worth avoiding diabetes to lessen the danger of heart disease and strokes.  

So that’s it for another week.  I am grateful there is a treatment that I can do and that I can afford the medication and that my husband is right here to support me through this each week.  

The Last Time

 This is not going to be a morbid post in spite of the title.

Last week Wednesday we picked up a butternut squash in our CSA basket.  One week later, I finally got to googling a reminder on how to peel a butternut squash with ease.  I sat at the kitchen table and successfully peeled the squash.  Then I tried to cut it into pieces to make soup and it was too hard for me to get the knife through it.  So I will wait until Jim comes home from his golf game and ask him as my strong husband to do it for us.  I will make the soup and not throw away the squash.

But it is the last time.  When we move into Stonebridge, it would be foolish to sign up for CSA again next year.  And someone else will peel and cut up the squash if we have the seasonal butternut squash soup.  And I will not feel guilty about throwing out good food—or the potential for good food.

As I have fears about a whole new way of life, I have to remember the reasons we are making this big move.  So I don’t have to cut up butternut squash ever again!

Progress! (But Not Enough!)

 I am feeling better about this big move after we made some progress today.  I will wait to post this hoping that we make even more progress in the next few days.

Sandra, a consultant with Byron Movers, came today and I signed a contract for everything they offered.  They are not the movers themselves but they help plan where your furniture can go in the apartment, they pack and unpack, and dispose of boxes and wrapping (which really appealed to me!).  It was worth the money to make the move as easy as possible.

We left five bags of books at the library, the maximum they would take at one time.  Walgreens would not take expired drugs but said they have to go to the police station.  That will be a place also for used mounjaro pens.  I scheduled Green Drop for another pick up and have several items and boxes set aside for them.  

Sandra said they would keep up with Stonebridge about setting a date.  There is nothing I can do about that until my LabCorp test is done and sent to the nurse at Stonebridge.  Meanwhile, I may tackle the other forms they have sent us. No, I don’t want my birthday posted and I don’t want to share my greatest accomplishments.  I know it is meant to help us be a part of a community but that was a bit too much for me at this point.

————

September 22 I woke up to the sound of can it be?  Jim going through files and getting rid of things.  Hooray!  And then going to my laptop and seeing that LabCorp has a message for me as does Montgomery Internal Medicine.  So my lab test is done and normal.  

It appears that we will have more furniture than what will fit in the dining area/ study.  We can get rid of the chest of drawers which Jim is emptying and never was in good shape.  We may have to get rid of one of the bookshelves.  Jim’s chair where he reads Hebrew every morning with a cup of coffee on the large wooden arms—that is a priority!  Byron Movers will take away furniture that we cannot use and even books if Jim cannot give his excess to students or sell it to the Brooklyn book dealer who is not responding to his emails.  (Although he had appeared to be willing to come here to buy books)

My goal for today is to get rid of clothes I don’t like.  I might lose enough weight to get into some things again, but maybe that is too optimistic.  I should go through books again.  Going through children’s books yesterday was hard.  Too many good memories of reading books to our kids—and even some I saved from my childhood.  Little Black Sambo?  Papa Small?  Susan and the Rain?  I know the phrase is to keep only the things that give you joy but these old books do give me joy! If I don’t get rid of them now, our children will have to get rid of them when we are gone. 

September 23. Not much more progress today except to add things to the Green Drop collection.  Jared, the president of Byron Movers, says he will be in contact with Stonebridge to set our date so I let that go for today at least. `I despair when I keep finding more things to get rid of—note cards that were sent to us with pleas for funds.  Some went into the waste basket; others in a plastic bag for Green Drop.  If someone wants them, great.  If not, they can throw them out. 

September 25.  After my checking in with our primary care provider and Jared at Byron Movers, Jim heard from Dawn, the nurse at Stonebridge.  They are missing some information so she is sending Jim a release form and then she will pursue what she needs to know. Meanwhile, we have an appointment with her on October 5 so we are making progress.  (Jim just took photos of the release forms and sent them to Dawn.  I hope that will facilitate the process.)

I fear this is all going to get pushed into November which will mean another month’s rent at Barclay Square.  But maybe not.  Meanwhile, every day we both find more stuff to throw into the recyclable bin or send off to Green Drop.  Or, happily, our son Dan claimed three books from his childhood, Richard Scarry, Winnie the Pooh, and a very old Hardy Boy volume.  He and Alex are also going to be given our Dr. Spock book from 1972 and a very funny book someone gave us before Jeff was born called “How to Raise Children at Home in Your Spare Time.” 

I was hoping to post this blog post when we had a move in date.  Now I know that will not even be set until after October 5.  I can’t move it any faster.  We have the rest of our lives to live at Stonebridge and I will try to be content right here today in our lovely apartment at Barclay Square.

September 28. Green Drop came today for the third time and took five or six boxes and bags from our entryway.

Jared from Byron Home gave us move in dates of October 28 and 29.  I was pleased.  But then Francesca from Stonebridge emailed with the fact that we need up to date EKGs and Jim needed up to date bloodwork-which may not be easy to get by Monday when we were supposed to see the nurse.  I feel as if it is one step forward and two steps back.  Jim may have to hold off on breaking our lease lest we end up homeless having to leave here in 35 days after handing in. 

And then I open two more closets and see blankets that we don’t need and scrapbooks that I forgot we had.  We may need to get Green Drop to come again.  I am going to be so glad when this move is done and we are settled into our new home.  

Laura and Susan were planning Thanksgiving.  I hope we are all settled by that time and that we are welcoming a little baby boy into our family and being thankful for both those milestones!

September 30. It made me sad to put the woolen blanket that has been with us for years into a bag for Green Drop.  I remember it being on my parents’ bed.  But Laura said she would take the “vintage” blanket and that pleases me.  

We were able to get into MIM for EKGs this afternoon and Jim is fasting 8 hours today so he can do bloodwork.  Francesca emailed not to stress!  What will be the next obstacle is what I am thinking? 

Burdened by Books

 We are in the process of downsizing and I told myself I would go over my many books in the second bedroom today and give away some more.  We gave five bags to the library earlier this week—the maximum they would take.  We estimated that to be 85 books for tax purposes.

So I went to the shelves this morning and tried to get rid of some. I came up with two books and that is all.  I pull a book  off the shelf and remember how much I enjoyed it and how I might want to read it again.  I pull another unread book off the shelf and read the summary on Goodreads and think I would be happy to give it another try.  Many of the books I read and had rated five stars and gave great reviews.  How can I part with them?  

My life will not be long enough to read all these books.  And then I am tempted by buying still more for my Kindle app or checking out more from my “To Read Later” list at the library.  I am thankful for the joy of reading but right now I feel overwhelmed by my ambition to read and reread. 

————And then there are all of Jim’s books.  He may sell some to a Brooklyn bookseller, he will probably give many away to Princeton Seminary students or Princeton University graduate students.  The book dealer has been in contact with him; he needs to contact the students.  What is left, Byron Movers says they will give to some organization.  And a good many will make the move with us and will be left someday for our offspring to dispose of. 

Downsizing Again

 Seven years ago when we moved to Princeton, we got rid of so much stuff.  Books, clothes, furniture, papers—much of it found good homes because we had time to get rid of it.  I had book give-aways at church and was happy to see friends leave with books I had once loved.  Jim gave many volumes to a Theological Book Network.  I gave old bridesmaids’ dresses to the school corporation’s costume shop.  The family that bought our house bought lots of furniture from us.  We told them to make us an offer and when they did, we told them it was too much.  We were happy to leave a lot behind and that they could use many large items. 

This morning I asked Jim whatever happened to the beautiful illuminated manuscript Bible we had from St. John’s Abbey.  It was an oversized volume and we can’t remember what Biblical book it was.   I hope we gave it to a good home.  I wish we had kept it!

And I remembered high heeled shoes I can no longer wear and purses I haven’t used for years; there is a box of memories from the growing up years of the offspring in the garage; I filled up another box for Green Drop to pick up.  There are so many pieces of artwork that I treasure but have never hung on the walls here.  So much stuff.  

————-I went through a container of pills in the closet and we now have a bag full of expired drugs to try to get rid of safely at Walgreen’s tomorrow. There are old toothpaste and toothbrushes from years of dental visits under the sink in the master bathroom.  

I looked in the closet in the yellow bedroom and saw six framed pieces of artwork from our offspring’s childhood.  They are treasures to me but I hope the artists themselves will claim what they did.  Not really sure who did what because they are unsigned. 

———Laura claimed one and Dan claimed another.  Progress!  

It will all get moved and then can still be sorted.  But right now it all seems overwhelming.  Maybe by Thanksgiving we will be all settled into our new home.  Maybe by Christmas!  And for that matter, where will the Christmas box of ornaments and lights be stored?  Not in a garage like it is now.  Maybe in the storage cage Stonebridge mentioned.  

————If you are reading this,  I think I need some some encouragement that we are doing the right thing.  

The Road to Stonebridge is not Smooth

 I guess this title sounds a lot like last week’s blog entry.  But there are new problems as the previous ones get solved.

Monday we saw our Primary Care Provider Dr. Delacruz.  We gave him the lengthy forms to be filled out for Stonebridge.  We were pleased and he was pleased that neither of us needed EKGs or bloodwork because they had been done recently enough.  We had blood drawn for a TB test which was quite extensive—four little vials each.  Jim dutifully did his urine sample and I asked to do it at home.

It took until Thursday to get the TB test results after some puzzling posts from LabCorp.  Jim got his urinalysis results back but I did not.  Yesterday I checked with MIM (Montgomery Internal Medicine) and Jill, a very dear and competent aide, said it went in and just wait a day.  Today I checked with our sales representative Francesca Fogg at Stonebridge and she told me that Jim’s forms were faxed in, but mine were not. I followed up again at MIM and Jill found out that LabCorp could not locate my specimen.  So I have to give it another try on Monday. We will meet with the nurse at Stonebridge once our forms are in for her approval that we are “independent.”  

Meanwhile the moving company Stonebridge recommends is coming for our “free consultation” on Monday and we cannot set a date until all my forms are in and Stonebridge gives us a date.  Francesca said it would be OK to commit to them because this should not delay it much. We can commit but not to a definite date at this point. 

The timing of all of this is problematic.  Dr. Delacruz signed the form to help us break our lease here at Barclay Square.  But once that is in, we have 40 days left and we have to be out five days before that.  So really, 35 days after handing in that form.  So the movers have to come within that time frame and we need a place to go!  Jim thinks those five days are for them to clean carpets and clean the apartment all on our bill.  

I will feel relieved when we have a moving date.  We hope not to pay another month’s rent in November but we just may have no choice.  We hope to get our deposit back here and happily Stonebridge takes $3000 off your first month’s fees toward moving expenses.  I guess this gives Jim more time to find homes for more of his books.  I would love to have an overnight trip to the shore to celebrate and just get away.  I hope the next blog is full of definite plans!  

This is Not Easy!

Every day we make some progress toward a move to Stonebridge.  We signed papers of application this morning with Francesca Fogg and we handed over application fees and a deposit on our apartment.  After a little delay, the money was transferred into our account. (Although it says “pending.”) We saw a draft of the letter we will use to break our lease but that won’t be available until we get our medical forms filled out and the nurse at Stonebridge meets with us.  So we don’t have a move-in date yet. We chose carpet for the bedrooms.  We turned down the beautiful shelving and cabinets for now and can always add them later.  I am thinking the black bookshelves we have in the hall here can line a wall in the living room and that solves the problem of how to get rid of them.  

Byron Movers called this am and assured me they have availability in October yet.  So I hope we can get one of those dates.  But that cannot be settled until we get our medical forms completed along with the TB test and maybe other tests.  I had an EKG in January and hope that will do.  Jim has not had one for a while I think.

I set a goal of going through one shelf of books in the yellow bedroom each day.  I found book after book that I loved and thought I might reread.  I found only a very few that I put in the bag to donate to the library.  

Then I made myself go through a box of work related files and files from classes I took over the years.  That too was painful and I had to recycle papers that represented important information or lots of work at the time. I found thank you notes from students that were heartwarming.  I kept them!

Then there were the boxes of letters I had saved including heartfelt ones I sent to Jim when we were dating, the summer I was in Wheaton and he was in Kalamazoo.  I kept them back in their box and put it in the cedar chest.  

I hear Jim going up and down the steps to the garage and think he has begun sorting through his books as to which ones he wants to keep and which ones he can give to seminary students or sell to the Brooklyn bookstore owner. I know he finds that painful too. 

Yesterday I was in a panic mode as to what we could do with the large metal shelving in the garage.  Eboni said we could not leave it there for the next tenant.  Jeff said he could probably use it in their basement and could even put it in his van.  Problem solved! I am relieved until the next problem pops up!

 We had guests for supper last night and I thought that would be my last time for hosting a meal that I prepared.  I fixed a delicious salad supper and it went over very well.  I do not regret leaving that part of my life behind.  Our guests said they were expert movers and would help in any way we needed.  Just their reassurance was helpful!

——————I feel as if when we get one issue settled, more appear.  We got a big packet of move in information and forms from Stonebridge which ask for copies of our power of attorney forms, end of life forms, all our physicians and even our funeral home!  We have not gotten that far in our planning. It also had a page with getting to know you information requested—like what were our biggest accomplishments in life and what did we look forward to at Stonebridge.  I think I am not into that much sharing!  Not even my birthday for their lobby.  Besides the funeral home, there were other sobering requests.  Could they share our new address if we moved into a hospital or other nursing care?  Could they share the name of the funeral home when we die?  I am very aware that this is the end of the road for us—and for others.  We will get to know folks and then be sad when they are gone.  I had some real cold feet yesterday after looking over that packet.  But we are committed and it still seems like we cannot turn it down.  

A Big Move Coming Soon!

 

I had been concerned about new neighbors moving in downstairs again—our 6th new neighbors in seven years.  We had been told by a friend that a single man with a dog had looked at the place.  We did not know if he took it.  We thought this complex had a no pets policy as it was when we moved in but that may have changed.  Eboni, our leasing agent, informed me that barking dogs and noisy children were what you could expect in a multifamily place.  

So I called Stonebridge and told them that we could put our names in for a two bedroom place not just the two bedroom plus a nook or den that we had specified.  Tara hinted that would move our name up.  And so it did.  We got the call yesterday and went in to look at Number 107. It was a lovely apartment with two bedrooms and a large dining area which we would split up for eating and Jim’s study.  It had a fireplace and a screened in patio and two bathrooms.  We have to accept it within a week.

I am overwhelmed with what has to be done and typical of me, lay awake thinking of it last night.  I made a list and eventually got some sleep.  I got to work this morning.  I made an appointment with our doctor to get his OK for breaking our lease due to my lack of mobility and also to have him fill out the form that says we are independent and can take care of ourselves.  Jim called our financial planner in South Bend and got money transferred for our deposit which will be due on Thursday. 

These payments are not small amounts, but this apartment is considerably less than the one we specified earlier—both as an initial fee and monthly fees.  So that is a plus. And we have the funds thank God.  Our man in South Bend kept telling us over the years to spend what we had and we really did spend for  everything we wanted or needed.  But now it is good to have the funds to buy into an expensive life style.

We made choices to get the life care option so we could move into more advanced care if needed.  We also chose the 80% refund to our estate when the time comes. Both of those options make the initial cost higher. 

I felt better after emptying out several drawers in the yellow bedroom desk and putting my mostly purged journals of many years in one of them.  Lots of medical and prescription information went into the recyclable container.  Travel information may need another look before I get rid of it.  No one seems to want our soprano and alto recorders.  That may go to Green Drop for another pickup time.  

I emailed church to see if they were still collecting winter coats as we have not worn our woolen dressy coats for several years.  No need to move them.  The beautiful red dress I bought at Loehman’s in Durham years ago and wore to the State Department banquet honoring Jeff with his Math Olympiad teammates—I hate to give it up but maybe a photo will do.  I haven’t worn it for years.  (I didn’t put it in the Green Drop box but they did take the winter coats.)

We downsized seven years ago and don’t have as much to do this time.  And we won’t have to find new doctors and a dentist and a church and a library.  It’s all very scary but I am thinking of it as an adventure that we can thankfully do together at this point.  

September 5. One step at a time.  I scheduled Green Drop to come on September 14 and we will have several items for them again—a suitcase and matching travel bag, a golf cart, maybe the recorders, and a bag of clothes.

Laura says she will take the 100 year old rocking horse if the parents of the little one coming in November do not want it.  

Jim says he will contact the bookshop owner in Brooklyn who is interested in buying his books and will make a trip out here to look at them.  But first he has to go through them and see what he definitely wants to keep.  And he will have local students see what they want. 

Jim has contacted our financial planner in South Bend and we will have the money available by next Thursday for the down payment.  

I have a lot more peace of mind about this big move than I had in the middle of the night a few nights ago!  

————At our happy hour I asked Jim if we were going to take this apartment on Thursday and he said we were.  Now just to get our lease broken.  But both Eboni and Frencesca seemed to think that would not be a problem.  

I asked Jim to check out my addition to this blog post and he said it is a good thing we are recording all of this.  That is my primary motivation for this blog—a record of our lives that becomes a scrapbook of sorts in January when I have a book made of these posts. 

Put it on the Portal

 The ice maker was not letting us get ice.  It has been jammed for a while but we could at least reach in and get some ice but even that was not working well.  So this morning Jim “put it on the portal” for Barclay Square maintenance to come and fix it.  He warned me to get out of bed and ready for visitors because they can come quickly.

And so they did.  Within a very short time, Adriano and Tony were here.  There was a problem with the computer in the refrigerator and freezer and we hope it is now working just fine.  

This is why apartment life is the right thing for us at this stage of our lives.  No problems thinking of who to call for repairs, for a long wait, for high fees.  We pay plenty in rent but it makes our lives easier and we are grateful.

Now for the next step.  When will Stonebridge call? What will they offer us?  Another move is very daunting and it is much easier to stay right here.  And it is a big financial investment to go into a continued care facility.  But at age 80, it is probably the best thing for us to do when the time comes.

Third Injection

 I just did my third Mounjaro injection.  Each time it is a little different—the first time, well over ten seconds between clicks, this time about two seconds.  But we can see a little puncture wound and the plunger is visible in the apparatus.

The first week went deceptively smoothly.  Then I had a delicious grilled burger with the Conways on Friday night and after I took my last pills of the day, I began to feel like there was a rock in my stomach.  That lasted until about 2 am when I fell asleep.  The next day, Saturday, is always our day for grocery shopping and meal planning.  I felt as if the thought of food was revolting.  I could not think of anything that sounded good to buy but we needed to eat.  I was very sad and so aware of how important food is in our lives and how, in many ways, food is a reward. 

In the early afternoon, I had a voice mail from the pharmacy at Walgreens.  I thought I better return the call and it was the pharmacist calling to ask if I had any questions about Mounjaro.  I thought that was so kind.  I told him I was sad about finding thoughts of food so unappealing and he said that was very typical.  I was so hoping the next three months were not going to be like this.

And blessedly, the next day was better and this past week has been better.  I have enjoyed my food again and tried to be careful about not eating a lot.  I even had a few sips of wine with meals.  Jeff and Susan brought pizza one night this week and that tasted great and had no ill effects.

I hope that the side effects don’t get worse with each injection as they did after the second one.  But at least I know that I got over the worst of the indigestion and the despair over planning and cooking and eating.  And in any case, this is what I have to do to bring that A1C down to pre-diabetes levels.  I may have lost one pound but no more.  I have left food on my plate a few nights but didn’t feel like I usually overate before this regime.  I have a ways to go to lose 12 pounds by November 3 as Dr. Delacruz predicted.  Weight loss will help my back strain and make it easier for me to walk greater distances.  I may have lost one pound.  

Again,  TMI for most of my blog readers but Jim and I like using this blog and the book we make of it as a record of our lives and this has been our life this week!  

A Week of Doctors and Drugs

 This will be TMI for my blog readers but it will be good to record a consequential week for Jim and me.  It started with my “wellness visit” with Dr Delacruz last week and the phone call the next morning to tell me that after many years of pre-diabetes, I had gone over the border.  I scheduled an appointment for a “treatment plan” the next Monday.  

That treatment plan was to be Mounjaro once a week-to lower the A1C and also to lose weight so that my back strain would lessen.  Dr. Delacruz demonstrated the use of the injection and said it was “easy-peasy.”

Getting the prescription was not easy.  CVS was out of it so I asked Montgomery Internal Medicine to send it to Walgreens.  Then CVS said they had it but couldn’t fill it because someone else had filled it.  Eventually I got the injections at Walgreens for $308!  I hate the Mounjaro ads on TV with the fat people dancing and now I am one of them—not dancing and not all that happy about it either! 

Last night we began our Mounjaro adventure.  Jim read me the instructions step by step.  It did not go perfectly as we waited for the second click and it did not happen.  I put the shot next to my abdomen again and it did click.  We could see a little puncture wound and Jim saw the grey plunger in the shot apparatus so we figured it must have happened.

And…I was aware of my stomach later in the evening—and was not tempted to snack during the night as I often am when I am lying awake.  So we shall see how the next week progresses.  I hope not with too much nausea and indigestion.  In three months I see Dr. Delacruz again and he thought I would lose 12 pounds by that time!  

Plus Jim had a routine ENT visit in which his bp was high.  So he will see Dr. Delacruz this afternoon to see if he needs to do anything about that.  It was not emergency high, just elevated. (Jim’s bp was OK at the follow-up visit.)

Oh, and we did have shingles vaccines  too at the Plainsboro CVS.  We had no reaction to that except a bit of soreness on our arms. (And I had some unusual fatigue two days later.)

We are thankful we have places to go when we need medical help and we do trust Dr. Delacruz for good counsel.  

A Tsumani of Loose Ends

 I don’t like loose ends.  I like closure.  This has been a few days with too many issues—not all that important—but too many loose ends.

I was convinced by an ACLU post in my email to give them $100 online.  Jim happened to be checking our credit card that day—the 20th of the month—and asked if I meant to give ACLU $100 four times.  No!  I called and talked to Vicki who was so appreciative of my being a long time supporter and so sorry for the error.  She said it would be fixed and they would call or email me. A few days later, there were no emails or calls but Jim said the credit card statement no longer had those four $100 gifts as “pending.”  They were gone.  I had thought if they didn’t go away, it was a worthwhile cause to stop our president.  The ACLU had argued successfully before the Supreme Court on the birthright issue.  But it is better that the mistake be corrected.  I will give to them again but I fear doing so.  Vicki told me to do it by phone but I don’t see how that would prevent errors if someone codes it in wrong.

Jim got his real ID in the mail several days ago but I did not.  He looked on our temporary IDs and it says that if you don’t get yours in 20 days, there is an email address to contact.  So I will be patient and hope this is not an issue and mine is lost somewhere in the postal system.  (Hooray!  July 27–my real ID came in today’s mail!)

Jim said we had two Amazon Prime Video charges this month and how did we have two accounts?  I do a yearly Amazon Prime charge in November to get our free shipping and that is probably worth it for the convenience of ordering.  But two video charges?  It is possible that one is for BritBox and one for Premium Amazon. He cancelled the premium charge with some difficulty and we will see if we can still get the TV sports that we want to watch.  And BritBox?  We used to enjoy some shows and should look them up again for a few laughs.  (In fact, we just watched with great amusement the first show of season 5 of Shakespeare and Hathaway—worth the monthly fee!)

Then there was my new hair styler with puzzling instructions on a sheet that was printed so faintly that it could hardly be read.  But my patient husband helped me figure it out and the styler that has been sitting in its box for a month or more can be used the next time I wash my hair.

We had two additional $45 charges on a email statement from the wedding hotel for getting early check-in even though the kind clerk said she had removed said charges because we had called that morning.  But those charges did not come through on the last credit card statement so that was settled too.

I guess the lesson here is to always be aware of the charges on one’s accounts and to be careful about what one is signing up to give or buy.  I appreciate my husband’s patience on all these issues.  Our lives are so involved in technology that it is easy to make mistakes on our part and that of others. 

A Passport and a Real ID

 We have no travel plans but I was motivated to get a passport out of fear that President Trump was going to make it difficult for me to vote next November by requiring a birth certificate and another document that gave my married name. And I definitely want to vote to get opposition in place to that man!

  I had my photo taken at the UPS store and with some trial and error, filled out the form to get a passport.  It was not possible to renew a passport at any of our local post offices. And the online form seemed problematic to me. Our daughter-in-law Susan who always has good advice suggested we take the forms to the Rocky Hill Post Office where parking is easy and the staff is not busy and had been helpful to her in the past.  We took her advice and it worked out so well.  The clerk knew exactly where the forms had to go and how to safely mail them.  So for $130 for a passport and $12.99 for mailing, off they went. And the renewed passport came back in the mail one day before our appointment for a real ID at our local BMV.

And that was another process I dreaded.  We went over the requirements more than once and put them in two folders, one for each of us.  I had a SS card with my present name so that was helpful. Jim’s SS card printed up a variation on his middle name which concerned him.  I had a birth certificate and marriage certificate and we found utility bills in each of our names with our present address.

The lines were long at the BMV but the staff was amazingly efficient and patient and we were in and out of there within 45 minutes.  The clerk did notice the discrepancy for Jim’s name and brought it to the attention of his superior, but it passed anyway.  My clerk did not even use my new passport but felt the other certificates would be easier for the typist to read.  So for $11 dollars each, we have temporary real IDs and will get the permanent ones in the mail in a few weeks.  We have no plans to fly anywhere, but if the need arises, we will be OK. 

These two procedures caused me some anxiety but both turned out well.  We had carefully prepared for both. And the people at UPS, the post office, and the BMV were competent and helpful.  And we won’t have to do it again for a long time, maybe never! 

Katie and Eli Got Married!

 My preparations were nothing compared to what others had to do but they caused me some stress.  My “cocktail dress” was going to be too tight because I gained far too much weight in the last year.  But I had another dress in the closet, never worn, and needing a hem.  So I hemmed and pressed that and knew it would be comfortable.  I realized that I needed a slip and the only ones I had were midi length or black.  But Amazon came through with a next day shipping—even if the order was delayed probably due to the flooding of our roads.Then there was a haircut on Friday and the difficulty in scheduling an early check-in from the hotel.  

The weekend started on Saturday at the Princeton University’s Prospect House with a brunch hosted by Jeff and Susan.  It was a lovely setting in the Alan Turing Garden Room—a long walk for me from the parking lot but I made it!  Jeff noted that I “worked the room” and I did mingle and chat with people I knew and didn’t know.  

We were not planning on going to the rehearsal dinner  Saturday evening but Susan seemed to think we were included and offered to pick us up.  It seemed a bit overwhelming to me but Jeff was disappointed that we were not going, so we said thanks and took advantage of their taking care of us again.  It was a nice dinner at the Ryland Inn, the wedding setting, and there were various toasts from parents and friends.

Sunday morning Jim called the Hyatt House and got us a 2 pm check which made it easier to get to the rehearsal at 3.  Katie wanted the grandparents there to practice the procession.  And yes, it was important because we were the pace setters and the first ones in.  I set a slow enough pace with my cane in hand.  The weather was great after the previous week’s heat and storms.  The wedding coordinator was no nonsense and gave everyone their orders. 

Jim had a role in reading I Corinthians 13 which he did well.  The other reader was cousin Erin who is a rabbi in training and she read Ruth’s promise to Naomi in Hebrew and English.  

Katie was beautiful and the vows were original to each other and very touching.  Eli was quite emotional in reading his vows.  We were amused when he said that his roommates upon meeting Katie warned him “don’t mess up!”

Photos took a long time during cocktail hour and then there was a sit down dinner in which we sat with the Conways and the Moorheads.  There was dancing and toasts during the evening.  Katie and Eli’s dance was a big hit as they put on quite the choreographed show with lifts. I did  join in the Hora where Katie and Eli were lifted high on chairs in the middle of our big dance circles.  

It is hard to converse in noisy rooms.  We were happy enough to be in our quiet hotel room around 9:30 pm.  As always, I didn’t sleep well but got in a few hours and was glad to have Jim in charge of driving home this morning—after one last good-bye breakfast at the hotel.

Seven Years

It’s an anniversary for us today!  On June 30, 2019 we left South Bend for Princeton, New Jersey.  We left the AirBnB where we had been living for a month.  Our house in Granger sold so quickly that we had to move out before we planned to do so.  We found a place right next to the Notre Dame campus that we think was a prime rental for football weekends.  There must have been ten football posters on the walls. We spent that month saying good-bye to friends and good-bye to our community for 28 years.

Then on July 1, we moved into our next transitional housing at Homewood Suites just a short ride from the Barclay Square Apartments in Princeton, New Jersey where our lease began on July 17.   We spent two weeks signing up for utilities, WiFi,  library cards, driver’s licenses, and buying the necessities that we had not moved—mattresses and many bookshelves.  

Our earthly goods all arrived on time and in good condition on an incredibly hot day.  The poor movers worked hard and the A/C could not keep up with the demand for several days.  Our family all showed up for a house warming party that weekend  with time in the apartment pool and was it pizza? And we do remember the ice cream cake that wouldn’t fit in the freezer so we had to cut it in half.

It took some time to find a church, and to find medical personnel that we liked and trusted.  And there were some hard times ahead with Jim’s prostate cancer diagnosis and then the Covid pandemic that affected all our lives—even if Jim and I never succumbed to the disease itself.  

But seven years later, we can still say we really like our lovely apartment and are finding it difficult to think of uprooting ourselves for continued care senior housing.  We are so happy to be nearer our children and some of our grandchildren.  One family is just ten minutes away; another about an hour, and the third sadly some further about 2 12 hours.  But all of that is so much better than 700 miles.

We miss South Bend friends and our church—and the opportunities on Notre Dame’s campus.  But we have not regretted our move and can celebrate seven years in our new home!

A Very Sociable Week

 I read advice for those of us who are very senior citizens emphasizing the importance of social contact to prevent dementia and maybe just to encourage longevity.  Seven years ago we left a community where we had many friends and acquaintances and a church where we literally knew everyone.  We made a move to be closer to children and grandchildren and have not been sorry.  But it takes time to feel a part of a new community and a new church.  This week I have been reminded of our progress in that regard!

Sunday while waiting for Jim to park the car and join me in the pew, two people came up to me to chat.  Later we were joined in our pew by a young family we had gotten to know.  We met all of these folks through joining small study groups over the last few years.  We did our part to feel a part of a large congregation and it was good.

Sunday afternoon our former neighbors came over for a happy hour.  We have gotten together with them several times since they moved away.  Best of all, we celebrated their wedding with them over a year ago.  

Tuesday evening we went to a lecture at our church as a part of a series commemorating the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.  We sat with friends and then walked to a restaurant in Palmer Square to have dinner together.  These folks have invited us to their home more than once and we have enjoyed restaurant meals with them also.  Again, we met them through small groups at church—twice when we were hosts.

Then this morning, old friends came over for coffee and muffins.   These were friends from Raleigh days with whom we have been able to renew friendships.  We raised children together years ago and now we have grown children and grandchildren to enjoy.  Again, they are part of our church community.

A new friend of mine had surgery this week.  I am past the stage of my life of cooking meals for folks, but we went to Trader Joe’s and bought several of our favorite items and left them at her doorstep along with a TJ’s bouquet of flowers.  She has referred to this kind of purchase as “assisted living” in our own style and so it is.  She said she felt spoiled eating our favorite coffee cake and my favorite chocolate mints.  

Jim has his usual partners for golf each week and plays with one gentleman whose scores are almost the same as his.  They keep score but it is a friendly competition and they are good partners.

So are we preventing dementia and encouraging longevity?  Maybe so, but at least we are happy to have new friends and sociability in our lives.

Lamorial: Everything They’ll Need

 I assume Lamorial is a play on Tutorial or Memorial.  I saw it online and paid my money and had it sent to me, knowing that sometimes these online purchases are a big mistake.  I don’t think this one is.  The idea is to get all your passwords, accounts, access—all in one place.  So that if I outlive Jim, I can get into our accounts.  I find it all overwhelming and maybe this will help.

I have set a goal of doing one page each day.  It is not fun and we both get a bit tense about it—with Jim trying to find his user IDs and passwords which are all foreign words—they are nonsensical for me.  I have a few user IDs myself and passwords—and had to retrieve what I had from the Indiana Retired Teachers Fund where I have a small pension.  I had to create a new password because I had not accessed it online before.

Fortunately, we can skip the mortgage page and debts.  There are several bank accounts and two credit cards of which I use only one—but it is good to have a backup one and Jim does use that one.  We have some monthly subscriptions but one or the other of us would probably continue those.  (Amazon Prime, NYT) and a couple of automatic charity withdrawals. 

We have a few more pages to go and then have to find a good place to put this important volume, a place that our executor Jeff can retrieve it when we are both gone.   I am thinking that maybe the next step will be to try to access each account to see if those user IDs and passwords are accurate.

It is a painful process but probably worth doing.  There are instructions as to what to do first.  There are places to put down phone numbers for our financial advisors (one local, one in South Bend).  

Laura’s 25th Reunion

Laura was celebrating her 25th reunion from Princeton this week.  She asked if she could spend the night Thursday and of course, we were happy to have her.  It all turned out to be more of an adventure than she anticipated.

I asked her to text us when she was leaving the campus and I was in my “mother” mode and worried about her walking alone on the dark streets.  She did text us when leaving and then when she got into her car but warned us that her key fob was almost out of power and although she got the car started by putting it right next to the ignition, that it could be a problem if she parked behind our garage thus blocking us in.

There didn’t seem to be any other parking places nearby so we chanced it.  Jim googled how to replace a battery because he remembered it being an issue with one of our fobs.  Fortunately, she was able to start the car in the morning and Jim drove her to CVS to get the correct battery.  It was replaced and she was able to get back to campus for a lunch and then a 4 pm session with a 95 year old John McPhee who was one of her writing professors 25 years ago.  How lovely for him to have a group out to his home.  I will be eager to hear more about that.  I remember reading someone saying that he had the gift of making each student feel like he or she was just the greatest student ever.  

Today was the P-rade and Michael sent a video of the whole family with their signs and Princeton gear ready to march in the rain.  Not a good day for reunion celebrations!

I’ll try to include a photo of Laura in her orange blazer.  Sometimes this works; sometimes it doesn’t!

Family and Friends

 

It has been a weekend for enjoying and being thankful for family and friends.  Saturday was grandson Michael’s graduation from George Washington University.  We joined the ceremony by livestream and were able to see Michael walk across the stage and hear his name read with his majors in music and psychology.  Sunday was granddaughter Ruth’s confirmation at Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church.  We again joined by livestream and were able to hear Ruth say her vows with 15 other young people and to hear her name called.

Mark Noll, our friend from South Bend and Notre Dame, was the inaugural lecturer in a series on Presbyterians and the American revolution in our church, Nassau Presbyterian, on Sunday afternoon.  A graduate student brought him to our apartment and we enjoyed having lunch together and spending time visiting.  We got him to church plenty in time for his lecture at 4 pm and were able to greet Maggie, his wife, and my dear walking buddy from South Bend days.

On Monday Jim golfed with Eli, Katie’s fiancée and I met my good friend Peggy at the apartment playground for a chat.  It was very hot and not the best weather for golf but they enjoyed the round and I enjoyed the visit.

Monday morning we got a text from granddaughter Katie inviting us for a celebration dinner for her mom’s birthday and Michael’s graduation.   We were happy to say Yes.  I offered to bring my usual brownies but Katie had made a cake and decorated it for the occasion.  So we joined Katie, Eli, Jeff, Susan, and Michael for supper.  That means just a ten minute ride into Princeton, not a 700 mile trip like it used to be for family events.

We came home and watched a double overtime game in which the Spurs beat Oklahoma City Thunder and we read about the Mets win in the 12th inning with a score of 16-7.  A great sports night!

Mother’s Day

I have not blogged since April 25.  Sometimes it seems there is plenty to write about; other times not so much.  But today is the day after Mother’s Day so that gives me something to say.

First,  I am so thankful to be a mother and a grandmother.  That did not come without complications and delays but we are so blessed to have three children with three wonderful spouses and eight grandchildren.  I blogged about our wonderful family party for our 80th birthdays and I treasure the memory of that evening.  Our three children are spaced almost seven years apart and then five and a half years apart.  That is not the way we would have planned our family but it is the way we were given our family.  It has ramifications even now with the oldest three grandchildren all older than the youngest five.  

Jeff and Susan treated us to brunch at Triumph Brewery yesterday.  We walked there after church and sat on a bench in Palmer Square until the time of our reservation.  It was a beautiful spring day and there were families picnicking on blankets and children running happily around the grounds.  We had a lovely meal.  Jeff and Susan are always so good about making us feel welcome here in Princeton.  

Dan and Alex attempted a FaceTime call and somehow we missed it.  But we called them around 7 and made plans to visit in early June—when Alex is back from a Philadelphia yoga convention and their newly repaired roof should be finished.  Laura sent flowers and called.  Michael is with his mother in North Carolina along with his siblings.  I am happy for Grandma Di that she could get her entire offspring together.  Michael sent a photo of the beautiful scenery along with his wishes for a happy Mother’s Day.

So I heard from everyone—even granddaughter Katie who hoped we had a good lunch.  I felt loved and remembered.  

What You Should Have Read by Age 80

 I have been giving this idea some thought and then today’s NYT Book Review features exactly such an article.  I reject more books than I read each week.  I bring three or four books  home from the library and do well if I read two of them.  I download books for my Kindle app and delete many of them.  I have plenty of time to read but I don’t care to read anything that is not interesting and worth reading.  In the last few months, I have had much pleasure in rereading a series of books—the Maisie Dobbs mysteries by Jacqueline Winspear.  And I enjoyed them very much even if the plots were familiar.  I was happy for Maisie all over again when she found love for the third time and adopted a precious and needy little girl.  And I lived through the two world wars with her in dangerous and difficult times in England.

So what have I never read?  Sometime “By the Book” in the NYT  will ask that question of the interviewee.  What classic have you never read?  Well, I have never read To Kill a Mockingbird.  I have tried a few times and I think I will try again.  I have never read the great Russian novels by Dostoevsky and I may not get to those with their great length.  Although, I will not say never.  I have tried to read The Power and the Glory by Greene more than once and gave up.  To his credit, Jim picked it up recently and did read the whole thing and Lawless Roads also by Greene recounting his own time in Mexico.  Middlemarch?  I tried and have no interest in trying again.  Anything by Faulkner?  I have Sartoris on my Kindle app now and will give it a try. Love in the Time of Cholera?  I tried and gave up although I may try again. I have read War and Peace, memorably while nursing a baby 42 years ago during the middle of the night.  Short chapters made it easy to pick up and read a bit at a time.  I read Moby Dick because I wrote a paper on it for Freshman English many, many years ago.  I have read The Great Gatsby more than once but not Fitzgerald’s other novels.  

I read mysteries for escape but draw the line at serial killers, true crime books, and those that feature “family secrets” or abuse.  But then mysteries that are too “cozy” are not worth reading either, and certainly not those that feature a dog or a cat as the detecting partner.  

What have I read with interest in the last few weeks?  Abigail and John: the Portrait of a Marriage, a wonderful biography that lead me to looking for other biographies of that era—Benjamin Rush, Samuel Adams, Aaron Burr, Alexander Hamilton (a young adult book was just right for me!).   How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising East Asia by Hamid, such a strange, intriguing title and a strange, intriguing book but I enjoyed it and even took a screen shot of one memorable page.

Right now I am almost finished with a book Surprised by Hope by NT Wright that has been worth reading.  But I read only one dense chapter at a time and try to take notes on it.  And I have requested a brand new book from our library and picked it up today—The Secrets of the Abbey, a Brittany Mystery by Bannalec that I am sure  to enjoy.