A Paean to my Husband

 “In sickness and in health.”  I am not sick but these last few weeks Jim has stepped forward to do so much more than his fair share around here as I struggle with mobility and some pain.   I ask him to pick up things from the floor or  to bring me things from another room as he is enroute to wherever I am sitting.  He helps with the cooking and laundry.  He drives me places and gives me his arm when we are walking any distance.  Even with a cane, I feel more secure with his arm too.  I have not used my walker in public places yet. Yesterday he even went into the library with me to help me scan the shelves and find my volumes from top and bottom shelves.

I hope that if the day comes that I need to care for him in the way he has cared for me, I can do so with the same amount of patience and good will he has shown.  

And because the many pre-surgery instructions include no alcohol for a week before the operation, Jim has joined me in abstinence. I didn’t think I would mind giving up my happy hour wine, but I have to say that the last two nights we have had very nice dinners of salmon and asparagus and shrimp and asparagus, and I really missed my glass of Pinot Grigio to complement my meal.  I hope this requirement does not go for a long time past the surgery too.  Jim has watched the required video twice and is prepared to be my “support person” and “coach.”  I guess this means he will remind me to do my exercises and to use the ice packs and to not stand or walk too long or far.  

Plus Jim has had to listen to me speak of my worries and concerns over and over again.  I do tend to have to talk things through and aloud and who else is going to listen to me?  My journals provide an outlet and emailing friends has helped.  But he is bearing the brunt of my therapy needs!  I welcome his hugs! 

“For better and for worse.”  May it soon be “for better!”  

The Newest Dr. Vanderkam

 

Katie defended her dissertation this afternoon at Princeton University.  Her work was on combustion and turbulence and that is about all I could say in summary.  She gave a talk of about 45 minutes with many beautiful slides with formulas and graphs.  There were some questions afterwards and then a celebration for Dr. Vanderkam.  Jeff and Susan and Eli were there.  We joined in by Zoom as did Eli’s parents and several of Katie’s colleagues.  We were very impressed and proud!  Next year Katie will be a professor at Wake Forest University.  A degree and a job!  Hooray!

One Week to S Day

 April 23:  I am enjoying my glass of wine because this is supposed to be the last one for a week.  I took my last Aleve on Saturday thinking they may have been the culprit for some gut issues.  No more Aleve allowed either.  Another call from the hospital told me of one more video they want me to watch—but it never arrived so we can wait on that privilege.  One more heart test—an echogram tomorrow.  I was so bold as to call Dr. Wong’s office to say that I had received no instructions and did that mean there was no stress test involved?  Thank God, there is not.  I hope it will be a far less complicated and nerve wracking time there than last week.

Jim had two medical appointments today and came through both very well.  We are always glad when he gets another good eye exam and he too had an EKG which was normal.  

I was reading my book and suddenly had a feeling of panic about this whole thing.  I went out to the deck and soaked up some Vitamin D and tried to do my mindfulness with my breath prayers. (Healing in, fears out)  I got a vision of being in the hospital with Jim at my side and found that comforting.  He should be able to be with me much of the time before and after surgery but I definitely will send him home at night.  A friend told me her husband spent four nights at her bedside when she had pneumonia.  I hope not to ask for that!  One night and I hope I will be sent home the next day.  Another friend told me her mother had to go to rehab after hip surgery.  I told Jim that if I can’t get up the steps, we are going to Homewood Suites together where they have an elevator.  But that is borrowing trouble.  I plan to climb these 17 steps slowly but surely on May 2.  

As I am trying to think positively, I was grateful to have an important question answered by my dear gynecologist on the portal today.  And grateful to know that the follow-up physical therapy appointment I made will be with Jennifer—I won’t have to meet one more new medical person.  

———-April 24:  The echogram was easy.  We were in and out in about 30 minutes.  The doctor will call with the results tomorrow.  I am not anticipating any issues. The video email was lost in my junk mail.  However, it was one we had seen before and watching it made me feel somewhat reassured.  At least it wasn’t a whole lot more to learn.  I have a sense of preparing for a final exam and getting set up for failure.  

Another Birthday

 

I am thankful to celebrate another birthday.  I have two beautiful bouquets of flowers from my offspring.  We had a lovely Easter dinner with Jeff and Susan and Katie and Eli last night.  We bought an ice cream cake for Jim and me for our own celebration today.  I didn’t want a restaurant meal tonight in my zeal to keep up the bit of weight loss I have had.  So we will do that at some other time. 

The day started with an appointment with Sierra, the PA at Dr. Culp’s office, not Dr. Culp himself as I anticipated.  That was OK.  She answered my questions and I dutifully signed all the permission forms.  Since getting home, a coordinator at the hospital called to make sure I had a cane and a walker and a good support person.  She will arrange for physical therapy at home for the first two weeks after surgery.  She checked to see if my husband, also a man of advanced years, would be able to do this role.  I assured her he could.  I was not happy to find out that I would have to stay a night in the hospital thanks to the fact that I had to see a specialist as part of my pre-admission testing.  I am trying to tell myself that this will give me time to get complete instructions from a physical therapist for all the warnings they give about how to dress, get in and out of bed or the car, go up steps, etc.  And maybe we can be sure that the effects of the anesthesia are worn off.  I was reassured to learn that at least all rooms in the hospital are private. 

Amazon just brought me a box of candy from Jim and a  handle to help me keep my balance in the shower. One more thing for handy man Jim to set up for me.  

I think the photo I included is appropriate.  Beautiful flowers fill the frame with the handy walker in sight.  

Nuclear Stress Test

 Jim walked me into Dr. Wong’s office by 11:15 for my 11:30 appointment.  I did not get started much before noon and at that point, Jim went home. We were home by 4:00.  It was a long afternoon.

Richie gave me the radioactive solution in my arm and explained the process.  I then had to wait for about 30 minutes.  I think.  The day is a bit of a blur.  The first scan was not difficult.  I am not claustrophobic or it might have been an issue but they warned about that and I guess you could get a sedative if needed.  

Then I waited in a small waiting room with two other women most of the time.  I asked the one who was doing needlework if she was enjoying the TV game show and she said vehemently, “No, I hate it.”  So I asked Richie if he could turn it down.  That was a relief! 

I was trying to read the gospel of Matthew on my iPhone using The Message.  It was hard to concentrate!  This has been my “spiritual discipline” for Good Friday for several years—reading one whole gospel and it was Matthew’s turn this year.  I got up to chapter 25 and will do more tomorrow.  

Helen, who was my waiting room buddy, came in after her second scan saying something like she hoped she never had to do it again.  Or maybe that was the other waiting room buddy who said that.  Helen did say they had to give her an antidote for the drug they inject to speed up your heart rate-if you cannot do the treadmill.  That was not reassuring although she told me the discomfort didn’t last long.   And because I am having hip surgery and use a cane, the treadmill was out. 

Evonne, the nurse, reassured me when it was my turn that everyone reacts differently to it and some have no problems.  And they would be monitoring me.  My heart rate was high enough even before they started.  They kept asking me how I felt and I certainly could feel my heart racing and I felt a bit blurry.  I said I would not want to have walked anywhere at that point.  But I did not have to.  They monitored me looking at the EKG and then called for the antidote for me too.  That did frighten me a bit.  I guess my heart rate was very fast and not coming down at all.  They were all very calm.  The antidote worked and it went down to a more normal rate. 

 It was time for another wait in the small waiting room. At that point I could eat something and I was ready to do so!   I had had nothing since 5:30 am when I had eaten a couple of peanut butter crackers in bed.  I didn’t need coffee.  I had really missed my morning coffee but I guess with our half decaf in the morning, I am not addicted to caffeine.  I did not have a headache with caffeine withdrawal like I had at other times in past years. 

The second scan was easy enough.  Evonne and Rinku, the physician’s assistant who was also monitoring me, said if it was normal we would not hear from them before Monday.  If it was not normal, they would let us know at some point tonight.  “Then what?” I asked.  Then you would need heart catheterization, I was told.  

I texted Jim to ask him to wait in the parking lot for me at that point. 

As I was finished with the second scan, I asked Reggie how old his children were—he had told me earlier that he had two of them and was hoping to not have to use daycare for them this summer. As I lay there, I thought am I going to tell him my Grandma Mary trick for Easter or not?   I thought why not?  When I heard Reggie had a four year old, I told him I wanted to draw him a picture.  So I quickly drew my two circle Easter bunny cake idea with the ears and the bow tie.  Maybe I can add a photo to this blog.  We are past that stage for now with our grandchildren  and I am not making it for children at our church as I had in the past. So I still got to pass it on!    I told him to tell his little one that he had a patient named Grandma Mary.  He probably did not have any other patients drawing him pictures for home!  

Jim was waiting for me and helped me to the car. About an hour after we got home, Jim saw that there was a phone call from Dr. Wong’s office.  He had a bit of a scare knowing that they said they would not call if it was normal.  But it was the kind Evonne calling to say it was normal and she didn’t want me to worry over the weekend.

Next week, when I go in for my echogram, I will tell the staff that they can look at this blog to read how reassuring and kind and competent they all were.  I was grateful for their care and for good news and I am so thankful to be home with Jim.  Now just to get through this surgery and the weeks of recovery.  

The Saga Goes On!

 We are home again from a meeting with Dr. Casey Wong, a cardiologist.  Jim and I both liked him and felt we could trust him.  He did not see red flags on my EKG and said those diagnoses were probably computer generated and the doctor just signed off on them.  But they were “red flags” for me and scared me.  He said we were treating my blood pressure and cholesterol issues with the right medications.  My mother’s heart attack at age 59 and then a second fatal heart attack is always a part of my history.

Dr. Wong scheduled a nuclear stress test for this Friday and an echogram for next Thursday.  The nuclear stress test involves four hours of our time; the echogram is not as big a deal.  All are done right in his office which is convenient.  He said to go ahead and sign papers for surgery and if problems come up, he will call Dr. Culp to cancel.  So this will be our life for the next week—and then next month, if the surgery goes through.  

I am thankful for health insurance because I don’t want to think about what this would cost.  I am thankful for Jim’s presence with me.  I am also thankful I don’t have to abstain from caffeine, alcohol, and chocolate until 24 hours before the nuclear test.  So we can have McDonald’s burgers, fries, and milkshakes tonight after all!  And I can enjoy my glass of wine right now while updating my blog and my family and friends.  I’m thankful to have people who care!  

Pre Admission Testing

 I was stressed about this PAT appointment and it did not help when the map we were sent to find the office in the large hospital complex was wrong. Eventually we were sent on a long walk to the correct place.  With Jim’s arm and my cane, I made it!  The staff there took a photo of the incorrect map so they could correct the mistake for others. Once there, we were seen quickly by Lisa, Irene, and Debbie and it was a relief that we could stay in one examination room and the staff rotated in and out.  I had bloodwork, an EKG, and was asked many questions and given answers to many of my questions.  We were given a guidebook and a couple of handouts.  Everyone was very kind and helpful.  

Some medications need to be stopped; others taken even the morning of surgery.  There are detailed instructions for antiseptic wipes to be used the night before surgery to prevent infection.  We were told to launder sheets and pajamas the night before surgery again to prevent infection.  I created a calendar to help me remember some of this and Jim as my “coach” and “support person” will have to help.  

Debbie gave us information about the anesthesia and I have to say that worries me—no feeling in legs for a while after surgery, twilight sleep so that you can’t remember what happens, possible nausea.  I remember a terrible headache after surgery for a ruptured disc in 1985 and Debbie said it was probably due to a leak and it can happen. But if it does, they have medication to help.  I remember how awful that was over the Christmas holiday and hope it won’t happen again.  

I was overwhelmed with information and instructions and thought I would lie awake ruminating.  But God gave me the gift of sleep and I was grateful—restless sleep but that is not unusual.  And plenty of sleep anyway.  Again, this is TMI for my few readers but it is a good record for Jim and me of our lives today.

Now for two more pre-op appointments, one with my primary care practice with Sylvia, the nurse practitioner, and one more with Dr. Culp supposedly to sign papers.  And I do have a few more questions.  

Now my prayers for peace of mind and acceptance that I am doing the right thing.  I had very little pain yesterday so I almost welcome pain to reassure me this is what I need to do.  The deterioration in my hip is not going to get better on its own.  I continue with my “leave of absence” this week which meant Jim went to Grace Notes Choir without me and will go to the Lenten group alone as well.  

———-April 11 I was dismayed when I checked on my portal before going to my primary care provider to get the OK for surgery that my EKG was “abnormal.”  Sylvia, the very dear nurse practitioner I saw, said that was not uncommon but at my age I should have it checked out by a cardiologist.  I spent an hour trying to get an appointment with someone but the cardiologist I had seen a few years ago could not take me until August as a new patient again.  Another call to a practice Sylvia recommended was frustrating and I really wonder if I was talking to someone in a call center.  I left a message for Michelle, the scheduler for Dr. Culp, to say I had problems and she called back and said she would get me an appointment with someone they use next week.  I am thankful that I am not in much pain at all lately.  Maybe this all means I should not have surgery.  I can be glad that if there are heart problems, we can deal with them.  But it has all been very unsettling and anxiety producing this afternoon.  

Planning for Surgery

 Yesterday, the scheduler Michelle called from Dr. Culp’s office with a May 1 date for surgery and then a list of other appointments both before and after surgery.  She told me that an email would come with attachments to be printed up and brought to my appointments.  The email did not come for hours and I was concerned about that.  I followed up on the portal and it did arrive eventually.  When I told Michelle it would take me a few minutes to get my calendar, she told me not to hurry.  I appreciated her empathy and patience and responded to tell her that later in the day.

Jim and I watched the required video a few minutes ago.  It is overwhelming to think of all the cautions and procedures one must follow for success.  However, I am trying to remember that it will be one step at a time and there will be people to answer questions along the way.  I am thankful Jim will be here to be my support person and coach.  Plus he will allow me to stay off my feet or do the only 300 steps a day I am suppose to do in the first week.

I already have a walker and a support frame for the toilet.  I ordered a step counter and a “hip kit” from Amazon.  

I was a bit irritated that I received a text from Dr. Culp with a survey about my pain and ability to think and manage my life.  I had already answered all the prompts on the portal earlier.  Maybe they are checking to see if I am consistent.  Maybe no one really looks at these surveys.  I said that I thought my ability to answer medical questions was excellent.  I said my social relationships were very good.  My ability to do everyday chores not so good.  My emotional state was moderate and that may be rating higher than it is some of the time.  My pain levels are nothing when I am sitting—but moderate when I reach for things or get up and down from sitting.  I find dressing and undressing to be some of my harder moments of the day.  I did not anguish over my answers.  I will see if the doctor mentions them at my pre-op meeting on my birthday.  What a way to celebrate! 

————April 7  I told myself I could have a “leave of absence” from my usual life for this time before surgery and probably a few months after surgery.  That made me feel better about decisions for each day and week.  Jim just offered to go to Target alone and I accepted his offer and am pain free sitting on the sofa.  We did livestream church yesterday and enjoyed the livestream of our church’s Blue Grass Mass on Saturday afternoon.  No walking was involved to the municipal parking lot.  We do miss a church parking lot!  

————April 8  Jim just left alone for the Lenten Communion Service that Grace Notes Choir does at Windrows.  I let Noel know that I probably would not be coming.  I feel best just sitting on the sofa.  I feel sorry to not be a part of something that I know I can contribute to but this is easier.

Every day there is some reminder or other from the medical people.  I confirmed my Pre-Admission Testing appointment yesterday online and then they called today also.  Maybe that was the call I missed yesterday.  I am telling myself to be glad they are so organized.  I hope I will feel reassured after the appointment tomorrow with some more questions answered.