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Monday, April 18, 2016

Grandma Takes a Drug Test

To volunteer at the St. Joseph County Public Library, you need a police check and a drug test.   I came very close this afternoon to deciding that it wasn't worth the hassle.

Last week I was interviewed by the head librarian and an assistant.  My references were called to see if I worked well with others.  They were taking no chances!   Today I went downtown and signed permission for a police check and a drug test.  The drug test had to be done within 24 hours so I headed out to the Clinic for Occupational Medicine immediately, drinking warmish water out of my water bottle all the way.

The sign on the door of the clinic gave me a clue about what was to come.   " If you are here for a drug test, once you enter, you cannot leave the clinic."  I signed another form and had to relinquish my ID.  I sat in a very spartan waiting room with a noisy TV.  I was definitely the oldest client.   After about 15 minutes,  I was called in, given my ID after they made sure I matched the photo, and was told  to put my purse in a locker and take the key with me.

After all of that, I was a bit intimidated and found it impossible to comply--even for 1/2 inch in a little cup.   I tried to get  psychological help from running water in the sink but the sink was turned off.  Were they worried I would dilute the speciman?

I told the aides that I was ready to forget it.  They said to try again in ten minutes and they would put a basin in the toilet that time.  After another wait, success!

I understand that there are many ways to beat the system with drug testing and that safeguards are necessary.   I will try to take the attitude that it was an interesting experience and a glimpse into another way of life.

 Now to see if I pass!

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