Grocery Shopping in a Pandemic

What was always a very ordinary weekly event has become quite extraordinary yet we have become accustomed to our new routines.   With the hope that this too will pass I want to record our weekly grocery shop.

Our usual time is Saturday mornings and our usual place is McCaffery's at Princeton Shopping Mall.   Groceries are more expensive than they were in South Bend and it has taken time to get used to finding things in a new store.  Occasionally we have shopped at Shoprite where items are cheaper but the stores are so large and confusing.  We do head to Target every few weeks especially we need "health and beauty" needs and then we get their bargains--like cereal and coffee and the staple for us--Triscuits.

When the pandemic first hit, there was a run on toilet paper and other paper products.   Disinfecting wipes were unavailable and shortages of meat were threatened.  We could not always find flour or even once, pasta!   That was a bit frightening but has eased up. 

We wipe off the handle of the cart before we get started.  We are required to wear masks in the stores and at McCaffery's, the aisles are marked one way only.   Check out lanes have stripes to suggest six feet distancing and the clerks have shields between them and us.   We cannot bring in our reusable bags.  There are no ready made meals buffet style and muffins, etc. are individually wrapped.  We have not had to wait in line at McCaffery's but at Trader Joes, we have stood outside for about ten minutes.  As one customer left, another one was allowed into the store. 

We have not eaten in a restaurant for several months now.  We have done takeout meals a few times and this week, even had takeout margaritas with our meal from On the Border.  Restaurants are beginning to open up for outside dining but we haven't booked a reservation for that yet. 

We are eager to treat ourselves and to join friends or relatives for a meal in a restaurant again.  But we are thankful that the supply chain does not seem to have broken down permanently.  We are definitely not going hungry. 

A Teenager Comes to Visit

The second weekly Conway offspring visit took place this weekend.  We picked up Jasper at about the same time as we picked up Sam last weekend.  When we stopped for gas on the way home, Jasper wondered if he could have a Wawa pretzel.  Of course, I said sure, so we donned our masks and got two pretzels--and were they ever delicious!   One for Jasper; one for Jim and me.

Jasper had several ideas for his stay.  At the top of his list was a walk around Princeton University.  He remarked at how different it was to see it without the crowds of the annual P-rade.  We wandered the campus with a look in particular at Nassau Hall, the oldest building on campus.

Again, I went to get groceries alone not wanting to expose Jasper to any unnecessary viral loads.   Jim and he watched golf--live sports at last.  Supper was burgers and sweet corn--easy and usually a winner.

 Jim and I wanted to watch Shakespeare and Hathaway again but before that we watched Jasper's suggestion--The Crown--on his Netflix iphone app.   He had watched seasons one and two so could help us figure out who was who and what would happen next.  It may have been a humorous sight to see the three of us on the couch with the little iphone on the coffee table.  The show had a sad feel with the impending death of King George and his constant coughing.

After both of our shows, at J's request, Dan and Alex did Facetime with us.  J had books to read in bed and we told him there was no need to set any alarms for morning!

Sunday am was church and adult church school.  J joined us for both.  Heath Carter's presentation this week was the 1894 strikes in Chicago and the  leadership of Mary McDowell--another very interesting chronicle of someone who made a difference.

J had asked about golf, so we found a "driving range near me" and he and Jim spent some time at West Windsor Golf Center.  Jim was happy to have a grandson want to hit that little white ball with him.   They picked up pizza (again a J request) for lunch.

J did a Zoom meeting with his extended Conway family at 5 and then we left for Washington Crossing to meet his nuclear family.  Enroute was a brief stop in Jeff and Susan's driveway so he could see his VK cousins too.  We had a warm walk down to the river, returned J to his family, and headed home before having to drive in the dark.

We observed that traffic seemed heavier this weekend--a sign that folks are getting out more.  Once again, it was great to have a grandson visit and we look forward to having two more grandchildren over soon.  Laura suggested it be earlier in the summer before they might be exposed to other kids at day camps and bring anything to their elderly grandparents.  How strange and sad it is to have to take all of these dangers into consideration.  We wore masks in Jeff's driveway.  We did not wear masks on our walk at Washington Crossing.

We hope to see the Conways in Ocean Grove for a few days over the 4th of July where they will have a bedroom to spare and a willingness to have extra help with five young ones.   Sam and Ruth both mentioned doing another scavenger hunt in town so this Grandma will have to come up with another list and a plan.  She will do that happily!

A Grandson Visits

I haven't blogged for a while.   Life has been so routine that there is nothing to write about really.   Once Jeff said to me, "Mom feels a blog coming on."   Well, I have felt no blogs coming on recently.  But this weekend was a break in the routine when Sam came to visit.

A significant observation for me was Sunday afternoon when I was sitting on the couch and glanced at the clock which was only partly visible.  I thought it said 12:57 which made me think that time was dragging.   I got up and looked again and it was 2:57!  Time was flying by!   What a difference it made to have another person in the house with more to fill the hours!

We drove out to Gladwyne to pick Sam up at lunchtime on Saturday.   He kept up a steady flow of chatter for the full hour ride back to the apartment--mostly about video games.   It was a glimpse into his life!   Later in the afternoon Jim and he played catch--a welcome opportunity for Jim that he doesn't often get.  I got groceries on my own thinking that it was best not to expose Sam to what begins to seem a risky trip to the store.  Jim and he watched some golf--the first live sports in a long time.  Sam thought it was pretty boring.   Sam helped me make shortcake--an easy recipe from Jiffy mix.  We had burgers for supper and shortcake for dessert. We watched Shakespeare and Hathaway with the stipulation that if it got too weird Sam would be excused or we would turn it off.  It was weird but not too violent or gory at least.

Sam seemed to sleep well--even if he did have a question about whether it was a girl's room.  Yes, the furniture was his mother's originally but not the bed and it was not all in pink at least.


Breakfast was our usual boiled eggs and sweets.   We all watched the Nassau Church service from the website.  Dr. Davis's sermon was on Moses and the midwives and Pharaoh's daughter who spared his life.  He related it to the racial crises we are experiencing.   When I looked in the closet for our Scrabble game, I found the Brick Bible, a gift from the Princeton VKs a few years ago.  I pulled it out for Sam and to our delight, the story of Moses as a baby was there.   Jim and he looked at it.  I posted a photo of them on Facebook which got a lot of comments!   To my delight later, Sam spent a lot of time afterwards reading Scripture--Lego people style. 

Sam and I played Scrabble and he beat me by 30 points.   I gave him a bit of direction a few times, but I played to win and I didn't! 

We walked to the towpath along the canal and then through the fields home.  Supper was a pizza picnic with Jeff and Susan, James and Michael using a table near the roped off playground.

Sam was very uncertain about the decision to get picked up after supper or in the morning.  He asked several times if we had plans for the morning and we didn't--except for Jim's blood work appointment.   I felt that he might want to go home but not hurt our feelings so I made the decision and Michael picked him up around 7:30 pm.   We were so bold as to hug him good-bye--no social distancing.

Now, who will be the next to visit?  Jasper had been asking when he could come but when it was nearing the weekend, he had second thoughts for "complicated" reasons, said Laura.  So Sam was "gung ho" to come, she said.   Ruth thought it best to wait and have someone else tell her how it went.  And Alex had been here last fall.  Henry?  If only someone besides Laura could be his source of nourishment, he would be a joy to have but not for the present time at least.   Jasper is wanting to reschedule and Laura said Sam said he had a good time so maybe Ruth will be willing to come as well. 

Black Lives Matter

This week has been full of very sad news.   A 46 year old black man named George Floyd was killed by a white policeeman in Minneapolis--not shot but asphixiated by pressure of a knee on his neck for over 8 minutes, several of them after he had stopped saying "I can't breathe"and had gone limp.   Three other policemen stood by watching and not stopping the killing. After a few days,  the first policeman has been indicted for manslaughter; the assumption is that there will be charges for the others as well.

As a result, there have been marches and protests in many cities across the US;  some have turned into riots and looting. President Trump's initial reaction was, as always, to tweet--this time with an incendiary "When the looting starts, the shooting starts."  This was a phrase stated by a Miami police chief after racial riots many years ago.  The President said he didn't know where he had gotten the phrase and later he defended it saying that shooting results when there is looting not that he was promoting it.  He also said he would send in the National Guard and he called the Minneapolis mayor weak--his usual insults.  Later he threatened "vicious dogs" sent at the White House protesters--again a reference to the dogs called on protesters during the Civil Rights demonstrations years ago. 

In many cities and states the National Guard has been called in. There are curfews tonight.   It makes me remember the riots of 1968 when gas stations were closed lest folks get gas to make bombs.  That was a terrible time and this threatens to be like it.   We shall see what happens in the next few days. 

This all follows after other incidents in the last week like the white woman in NYC's Central Park who called 911 when a black man who was birding asked her to leash her dog, saying she was threatened by an African-American man.   And this horrible Covid 19 virus has impacted black citizens more than white--with disease and death but also economic hardships.   People are on edge and angry and frustrated.

Facebook is full of posts saying that if you as a white person say nothing, you are also guilty of white supremacy. People are suggesting books to read and leaders to follow and places to give money.  But what is there to say?   I know I am priviliged and I am sorry my world is as white as it is. I have given to some causes (Hope Ministries, Robin Hood in NYC, the hunger ministry at church) and could research others.   I have not reposted or shared the posts of others.  I have not marched in local protests.

My world was not always so white.   My daily work before retirement brought me into a world of diversity in which I was still priviliged and in a position of power to a certain extent as the teacher of adult education students.   Sometimes, when I would ask for maintenance or assistance from those who ran our Housing Authority site, I felt as if I, a white woman,  was unheard or ignored.   Or maybe it was not me at all but just systemic problems in the bureaucracy there.   I know I often felt that there was anger very close to the surface in many of my students and sometimes marveled that we got along as well as we did.

I am pleased to be Facebook friends with former students and in some cases, colleagues, who are of other races and I try to encourage them--as they encourage me with their "likes."   I grieve for the sadness in our country right now and I grieve for the lack of empathetic leadership in the White House.   I think about President Obama's singing Amazing Grace in the church in Charleston and the contrast is painful.   Or President Bush's standing at the site of the 9-11 disaster and saying "I can hear you." President Trump tonight blamed the governors for being weak--he called them jerks for not putting down the demonstrations in their states.

I rarely write in this blog about anything but my personal life.  But this is a historic time and a time of crisis and our lives are full of tragic news.   I watched that knee on George Floyd's  neck too many times on TV videos and began to have to turn my eyes away.   But I shouldn't turn my attention away--none of us should.  It can't be ignored.

------------A week later--there have been protests in many cities for several nights now.  There has been looting.   The ugliest scene was the demonstrators in Lafayette Park next to the White House being tear gassed and dispersed so President Trump could walk to the steps of St. John's Episcopal Church and stand holding a Bible.  That scene makes me sick inside.   The bishop in DC and staff of the church protested later.  He wanted a photo op and he got one but for many like me it has shown how unBiblical is his approach.   

A Walk Not Spoiled (by 18 holes of golf!)

This afternoon Jim is out golfing.  He has had difficulty in getting tee-times  since the courses opened again two weeks ago.   Tee times are set every 16 minutes instead of every ten and allow only two golfers per slot.  So he is happy to be out there. (Jim just came home after 14 holes and said they are allowing four golfers to a slot now--another sign that things are opening up in New Jersey during this pandemic.)

I knew I needed to get some exercise too but was feeling lazy and didn't want to take our usual walk down to the towpath.  So I walked down Mapleton Road until I saw an opening through the trees and followed a path through the field to the familiar bench next to the towpath.  I called my friend Sue--and chatted until my phone was almost out of power.

 Instead of walking home via the towpath, I retraced my steps.  I walked along the "farm to table" garden of Eno Terra, a high class restaurant in Kingston.   I knew this land must have been part of the historic Mapleton Nursery when I saw the row of red maples and their entangled trunks.  I didn't see any bluebirds in the bird houses in the field but I heard lots of songbirds as I walked.

I scared a deer in the woods but he scared me too!

 It was a lovely walk but my Fitbit says it was only about 3200 steps. Not enough even if I am warm and sweaty and a bit weary. I can take another walk later--our daily walk to get the mail in the clubhouse--about 1600 steps.  My goal is 7000. 

Feeling Useful

My friend Peggy, my walking partner, commented recently on how we all need to feel useful.  I know this is part of my melancholy lately--that it is hard to feel useful when one is so limited in this pandemic.  Plus living in a new place makes it hard to feel useful in the ways I did before--or when I was working.

In South Bend,  I was able to give to others through playing the organ.  I had really cut back on my playing but still played for special services and the 5th Sunday in the month.   I liked choosing music that was appropriate for the service and I knew it was appreciated.  Now, I can't even give to others by singing in the church choir and when we are back to normal, I may still hesitate to sing in an enclosed choir room--a known place for super infectors.

Because we knew everyone in our South Bend church, we were aware of others' joys and sorrows and could pass on and act on our concern.   I didn't bring meals or host large gatherings any more but could often find other ways of caring.   I can still send emails back to South Bend and have sent a few along here in Princeton but our circle of friends and acquaintances is greatly limited.

I have told myself that it is enough to do the essentials of laundry and meal planning and preparation.  Life is down to the basics these days. Yesterday's ordering of a take-out family meal of fajitas from On the Border was a highlight of the day-and we have two more meals out of one order left.

 I have emailed a few people in the last week to express my thanks for their contribution to my stay at home life.  I don't publicize this blog but know there are a few readers who enjoy it.  I do feel some sense of accomplishment when I write my musings.   At least it helps me organize my thoughts out of confusion and chaos and try to be positive and thankful.

Ruth in Laura's ribbon dress

We are heading to Laura's home in a few hours.  We opted to postpone our usual Saturday trip to the grocery store until Monday lest we pick up the virus just before heading to her family.  We can't and shouldn't go to Jeff's tomorrow or Monday lest we pick up something at Laura's and pass it on.   We don't stay home all the time but we do keep in mind social distancing.   Because the result is a pretty serious illness and we are all at risk.  We need to stay out of the hsoptial and off those scary ventilators.

--------------------------May 24  Sunday

Looking over the last few blogs, there is definitely a theme running through them of coping or not coping all that well with this time of pandemic and social distancing.   But last night, driving home from Laura's I felt some sense of peace--a moment to be treasured.  We had beautiful scared music ("With Heart and Voice") on my iphone and we were happy to have been with Laura's family.   Ruth who is a very loving child was wearing the ribbon dress I had saved from Laura's childhood.  I was touched that she wanted to do that for us.  Plus we were full from steaks that Michael had grilled and sides that Laura had prepared and a DQ ice cream cake that I bought to celebrate Jasper's birthday belatedly.  Little Henry is definitely the "family baby" that Laura hoped he would be.  The others all love to get in his face and get his big smiles in return.   Grandpa and I did too! 

A Trip to the Catskills

On Saturday we made our weekly run to McCaffrey's for groceries, unpacked them, and began our day trip to see Dan and Alexandra at their new home in the Catskills.   It was about a three hour trip heading up Route One and then the Garden State Parkway and I-87.  With about 30 miles to go of the 180 mile trip, we left the main highways.  We drove through Potter Hollow, a strip of houses right on the road, some of them derelict, and then turned off to Engle Road.  At that point, I was hoping we were following our Apple Maps correctly as the one lane road headed up and down the hill. At least it was paved although it was dirt beyond their place.  But...there was Dan sitting in his rocking chair on the porch, waving at us.

And there were the alpacas grazing across the street.   I keep thinking about the Wizard of Oz and how "We're not in Kansas anymore."  Well, Dan and Alex are not in Brooklyn any more--what a contrast.  I think two cars went down the road during our time with them--and Alex gave each one of them a friendly wave!   What a contrast to Flatbush Avenue and its emergency vehicles heading to the Brooklyn Hospital with sirens sounding.

Dan and Alex said that if they were going to leave the city, they wanted a big change, not just the suburbs.  This was a big change!  We could hear a rippling brook in the distance.   I got a whiff of llama every once in a while.   We saw goldfinches and hummingbirds visiting their new birdfeeder.  It was lovely and peaceful.

We spent a few hours drinking wine sitting on their porch.  The cabin dates to the 1890s and looks pretty rustic on the outside but is very lovely inside with nice furnishings, rugs and artwork. Their wifi is good so they can both work offsite for now; they didn't seem at all eager to get back to the city with its crowded elevators, communal laundries,  and busy sidewalks.

We wanted to get home before dark so we left a bit before five.   We stopped at a service area with a MacDonald's where social distancing was in effect. The bathroom sinks were set so you were six feet separated from your neighbor.  We were able to get a supper as long as we did take-out--and it was a feast of burgers and shakes.   There was some light left in the sky when we got home.  We were so glad we can now picture Dan and Alex in their surroundings.  They had showed us around via Zoom and Facetime but the real thing was lovelier.