At Loose Ends

What a strange expression.  I am trying to think of a  better title.  I had one task for today and that was all--to make a salad for tonight's church supper and mortgage burning ceremony.  Oh, and to play the piano for the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" for the service.

I was up early and on my own by 8:00 am and thinking about what I could do with the day stretched out before me.  I am feeling so much better than I was--and have more energy--and  I guess that makes me restless.  I used to think that the curse of my old age would be solitude because I wanted it so desperately at times when we had young children.

So how did this retired lady keep busy in her solitude?    I sent out an email and a Facebook message.  I called Jim once and a friend called me just to say hello.   So there was some contact with others.

I spent most of two hours going through old work files.  Two years after retiring I find that I could purge a lot more than I had originally done.  Articles on learning disabilities from the 1980s and 90s--dumped.   First day get-acquainted activities--gone.  It was an exercise in remembering--the good and the bad.  There were great notes of appreciation and then frustrating write-ups for staff members who were out smoking instead of taking care of children.

 I needed  exercise but didn't want to walk around the neighborhood again.  I got in the car and almost let it make up its own mind.  It drove me to St. Mary's College where I parked and walked to the old St. Joe High School.  I took a photo of the demolition and sent it to Dan who responded with a tearful emoticon.   It was a good walk and I felt grateful to be able to feel the breeze and see the wild flowers and the river through the trees.  I did wonder where I would be in five years--maybe in one of those assisted living places I passed?

I do wish we lived closer to our families.  I would have loved to have popped over to Laura's and taken the four year old out somewhere--or just hung out with the baby.  Or I could watch Jeff coach his 12 year old's Little League game.  But that is not the way our lives are right now.  Maybe someday.  But I hope that when that time comes, I am not too old or they are not too old to appreciate grandma time.