It is Thursday and on Thursdays I have scheduled an organ practice at noon at Kingston Presbyterian Church when the secretary is there and the church is open. At first, I mourned for the organ I used to play in South Bend. That was a historic Tracker pipe organ and this one is a modern digital organ. But I have grown accustomed to the sound of this one and have been glad when I have made myself go practice for an hour. I play hymns and, then last week, Bach little preludes and fugues. It is healing for my soul to sit in a church sanctuary and I think about how people worshipped there for over 200 years.
But the church is cold. I keep my coat on. The organ keys are cold to the touch and my fingers are stiff. It is awkward to unlock the organ, open it up, turn it on, put on my organ shoes, and find my glasses. It's hard to see the music and I slide on (and almost off!) the bench. Sometimes, like today, it just seems like too much effort.
Yesterday I listened to a few excerpts of string quartets recommended on the NYT website. They were beautiful and I tried to imagine the violinist and violist and cellist each taking their turn. But I wanted to see them in a concert hall. It has now been months since I have heard live music.
It has also been more than a year since I have walked into an art museum. I thought I would be taking New Jersey Transit into New York on my solo trips and visiting museums but I would be happy now if I could just go to the Princeton Art Museum. But that too is closed.
I have been thinking about travel adventures of the past and there have been many. If there was no Covid, we would have had another jaunt to Florida in January. We would be planning a trip to Grand Rapids in May for a 50th anniversary of Jim's seminary graduation. I doubt that will take place except virtually--and we probably would not feel safe to travel there anyway.
I'd like to plan a birthday celebration for Jim in ten days but it's too cold to sit outside at our children's homes. I'd like to make a heart cake with Ruth who has told me that she likes to bake with me and that I know such good things to make. I may have a total of three special ideas in my repertoire but she remembers the ones we have done together and that is so dear of her.
So many things that have enriched my life are not possible right now. I can read but I need to find books that are interesting and worth reading. I am not in a studious mood and I have read too many British murder mysteries as escape reading.
Maybe I won't post this downer of a blog! I make lists of what I am thankful for in my spiritual journal. I know I have to accept that this is a hard time with the isolation that we have to enforce in order to be safe. I am thankful that I don't have small children to entertain or older children to keep motivated. I have Jim to share this isolation with me. I can express my thoughts in my journals and more publicly in this blog. I have been surprised by who does read it besides a few close friends and my husband! And right now I feel somewhat better already having vented in print!
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The sun was shining so I walked down the path bordering Mapleton Road and our apartment complex. I listened to Laura's "Best of Both Worlds" podcast. It was around 2200 steps with some Vitamin D on my face and a little glimpse into Laura's parenting her teenager and tweenagers. She talked about keeping the lines of communication open--and I cynically thought "good luck with that" as I remembered days of yore.
So I didn't do any organ practice today. Maybe I'll play the digital piano here at home for a while. Maybe I'll search my Goodreads "want to read" list for some books to request when the library reopens or to buy from Better World Books or to download from Amazon. I'll fix stir fry for supper with lots of vegetables and a minimum amount of sausage links. And I'll try to be satisfied with another quiet day at home.
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