Reflections on 2018

 For the last two years I posted  reflections on 2017 or 2016 on December 31.   I was not in the mood last night.  But today is not too late and I can include this last entry in my Blog2Print for 2018.

  The year started out well with our time in St. Pete Beach.  Then I began to struggle again in the spring to find the right medication to deal with insomnia and resulting depression.  I found it with the suggestion of Patty, the dental assistant who checked my "Somnimed" in Elkhart,  and Dr. Blechl's agreement.

We have many good memories from the summer with two separate weeks on Lake Michigan and a trip to the east coast.

Then all the medical problems began.  My aborted cataract surgery (the only time it ever happened according to those who made the error), the two subsequent cataract surgeries and all the doctors' appointments to try to correct the resulting problems, and then the diagnosis of tachycardia which forbade the "right medication" and meant several medical tests which so far have all come out within normal range.  I am not finished with either situation and may need further tests for the rapid heart rate and further procedures for the eyes.  And then again, I might just refuse either.

We prayed for much of the year for six friends or acquaintances with cancer.   Morgan Bolt and Gary Knoppers  died in the last two weeks.  Both were great losses of good men aged 27 and 62.  Howard Cole, a friend our age, died earlier this year.  Also a great loss for his wife and our church.  It has been sobering.

We began to think seriously of moving to the east coast to live nearer our children and grandchildren.  Jim preferred Princeton and I probably did too--for the proximity of the university and seminary and train station so we could get to New York City easily.  I started purging the house last summer but took a break from that this fall.  We just spent two weeks straight in Princeton to get a feel for life there.  Jim said he felt better about the move after the two weeks than before.  We gathered information about possible rentals and locations.  Upon our return home, the house seemed too big and all of our stuff a burden.  Our next step is to talk to a realtor here.  We will keep getting rid of stuff.  Jim gave away three books yesterday.  I photographed some dresses that that give me sentimental memories and packed them up to give to Goodwill.

One more grandchild left for college--James for Rensselaer Polytechnic
 Institute.  The others continued to grow and give us joy.   Little A is no longer in diapers, sleeps in a real bed, and gave up his pacifier.

Dan introduced us to A and we really enjoy her company. How will that relationship go?  We hope it will go well.  Dan scares us with his rock climbing. Laura turned 40 and Michael turned 50 and we celebrated with both of them. Jeff and Susan made us feel welcome in Princeton.

The political news continues to be disheartening. (As I posted in 2016 and 2017.)  President Trump continues in his egotistical ways with daily insults on Twitter for those who disagree with him. He offers his own "alternative facts"  and seems to govern on the basis of what he hears on Fox News and not on the advice of his associates.  One after another the top men and women in his administration have quit or are asked to resign.  Right now there is a shutdown of 25% of the government because the Democrats will not fund the useless "wall" he is demanding.  And he won't sign a budget without it.  I despair that many evangelicals continue to support him. I understand their liking his nominating conservatives for the courts but this included a  dubious Judge Kavanaugh for the Supreme Court who, whether or not he was guilty of sexual misconduct, was guilty of not acting very judicial during his hearings.

What will 2019 bring?  I feel well and am trying to tolerate the eye problems.  Jim's shoulder hurts enough today for him to take Aleve and ask for help getting into his jacket.  The RA does strike every once in a while but is usually under control.  Will we move this year?  What friends will we be praying for in particular this year?  Will our children and grandchildren be safe and healthy?  I look forward to a longer stay in Florida and more two week stays in Princeton--until the eventual move.

  I need a stronger faith and trust in God but even at my age I have many questions and doubts.  I want to believe and I need to believe. I want to feel that my prayers are more than just words.  I think that it is so important to me and that I want it to be important to my children and grandchildren is a sign of God's faithfulness and claim on my life.