The Year Comes to an End

I spent some time this afternoon looking over my blog posts for 2024 in preparation for making another Blog2Print book.  Last year (2023) I ended with a post entitled "What Did I Miss?" I don't think I missed much this year that I want to write about.  We have done nothing more about senior living but have not given up on the idea.  We have had good health.  There were some concerns about providers no longer taking our insurance but as far as we know, those issues are settled with co-pays not as high as we feared or in one case, paying out of pocket being a far better solution than finding a new provider.  I have written enough about the political situation and our concerns for the next administration's plans.  

Last Friday we were invited to a lovely feast at one couple's home here at Barclay Square where we met a few other neighbors.  And yesterday our former neighbor picked us up and brought us to his new apartment for wine and snacks.  We are invited to his wedding in February.  Tomorrow our new neighbors are coming up the steps for a happy hour with us.   We almost always have people to greet at church thanks again to joining a Lenten small group and another group this fall.  My Barclay Square friend Peggy and I chat usually every other week--either at the playground or occasionally at the 1900 Building.  So after five and a half years, we do feel a part of this community.  And we love being able to see our children and grandchildren without having to travel 700 plus miles down I 80. 

I will add one more post about our adventure going into Philadelphia to hear Laura sing Bach's B Minor Mass.   Planning for this jaunt meant getting tickets on my mobile phone and reserving a parking place at Rittenhouse Parking--also with a pass on our phones.  All of this is a bit daunting for two 78 year olds but I will end the year with what I hope will be a happy account of our trip.  And I can start 2025 with Notre Dame's football team with its 12-1 record playing Georgia in the Sugar Bowl on January 1. 

------------Crisis!  Blog2Print no longer functions.  I spent quite a bit of time trying to find a safe alternative.  The parent company of Blog2Print sent me a suggestion.  I was hesitant to go to a site that might be risky so I have asked my IT person for help--my daughter-in-law Susan.  If she gives me the OK, I'll give it a try.  I was really frustrated because I have been making a book every January since 2009.  

-------------December 31 We had an adventure for our last day of 2024.  Laura was filling a long held dream of singing Bach's Mass in B Minor.  We bought tickets and enjoyed a magnificent performance at 4 pm by the Choral Arts of Philadelphia at Church of the Holy Trinity in downtown Philly.  The soloists were wonderful as was the orchestra and choir and it was a delight to spot our daughter with her sparkly necklace in the first row of sopranos.  The Sanctus in particular was heavenly! We were quite pleased with ourselves in handlinh the tickets and parking pass all on our phones. (Although we actually ended up showing folks the printed copies we had made). We were also very grateful to be home safely as we traveled an hour through Philadelphia and on I 95 in a terrible rainstorm in which it was very hard to see the white lines in the road.  

Tomorrow I will attempt to make a book from the 2024 blogs using intorealpages.com.  Susan gave me the OK to feel safe enough in spite of some warnings about security online. 

So this is the end of 2024!  For us personally, it was a good year.  For our country, we are concerned.  We enter 2025 with prayers! For ourselves, our family, our churches, our friends and very much for our country and peace in our world. My "lectio divina" for today was from the lectionary as always--"The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." 

Christmas Part II

 We celebrated Christmas with our family yesterday at Laura and Michael's house.  There were 15 of us there.  We missed Dan and Alex who had just returned from their trip to Colombia and decided to stay home.  They dd Face time with us so we could greet them.

There were moments I want to remember. I had bought chocolate letters for the grandchildren from the Dutch Store in Grand Rapids as I do every year.  Little Henry who is almost five opened his and with great surprise and delight said, "It's the first letter of my name!"  How lovely when something is new!   And then there is the joy of our tradition of singing Christmas carols--mostly acapella and by memory.  We stumble a bit on the second and third verses but we make a joyful noise and to this grandma's ears, it is beautiful! I pray that the words "Let every heart prepare him room" enter into my grandchildren's hearts as they sang.  

Last night, Jim made the decision that we would do livestream church this am because it is bitterly cold and it is quite the walk to the muniicipal parking deck.  We worshipped from our living room and appreciated the Daniel Pinkham Christmas Cantata.

To be continued--with Christmas dinner at Jeff and Susan's and more livestream church services for Christmas Eve.  

-------------At first half of the string of lights on our tree went dark. So we readjusted them and it looked fine. Then last night the whole tree went dark!  Alas!  With some difficulty, we walked around the seasonal section of Target until Jim spotted boxes of lights.  We bought another string of 60 and all should be well in time for Christmas. 

 As we shopped, we impulsively bought a little Tonka dump truck for Timmy who lives downstairs to go along with the classic Eric Carle book From Head to Toe that we had already gotten for him.  We hope to get to know his parents and him better when we have them over between the holidays. 

--------------Christmas Eve--Jeff and Susan invited us to go to Christmas Eve Mass at their church, St. Paul's in Princeton--and to have our traditional pigs in the blanket before church.  The church was sparkling with lights and greenery.  The service was led by their former pastor Monsignor Nolan who was a familiar figure for us too.  He was very pastoral and emotional in his telling of a story--and emphasized Christ was born in you--as in Mary.  I got teary when I saw the throngs of people going forth for the elements--including our precious Katie, James and Michael.  Then home again where we caught the opening words via livestream of the Family church service at Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church where Ruth read the welcoming words.  

Maybe we will join the 9 pm service at Nassau Church tonight via livestream.  And we hope to have dinner at Jeff and Susan's tomorrow.  They are so good to include us in their family times--and it is only ten minutes down the road.  

------------There was a package at our door delivered by the deacons at our church.  A few years ago Jim and I helped deliver poinsettias to folks who were elderly--and now we are the recipients.  There were lots of tasty goodies and a small poinsettia.   

Christmas Day--We made banket.  Each year I say it is my last time and then I buy more almond paste from the Dutch Store and we do it again.  Jim was a big help today.  We brought some for dessert at Jeff and Susan's tonight where we had a great turkey dinner with Susan's legendary rolls made by Katie this time!  

Our big achievement of the day was downloading Netflix so we could watch the NFL games which were only on Netflix.  And we did it without having to ask anyone of a younger generation for help.  

The Real Luxuries in Life

This post on Facebook caught my eye.  In retirement, I have most of these luxuries.  A quiet mind escapes me at times.  Slow mornings--almost always--with time to do NYT Spelling bee and Connections.  Ability to travel--I am happy to be home and to remember all the trips we have made in the past.  A good night's sleep--not always but most of the time.  People you love and who love you back--every day!  Calm and boring days--I am fine with our more limited life.  And for now we do have health for which we are very thankful. Meaningful conversations--ordinary conversations of everyday things are also valuable such as "What is on for TV sports tonight?  Here's the mail for today--the usual requests for funds.  Do you want to go to the library today?  We need more purified water for the humidifier."  

What my Husband Does for me!

 

The first thing Jim did for me today was not appreciated!  I had gone to the guest bedroom during the night and he came in to say, "Are you still sleeping?"  I was not! I was reading my morning Heather Cox Richardson blog and I was in no hurry to get out of bed.  However, the next thing he did was to have coffee in the thermos for me which he does every morning.  And I do appreciate that first sip of coffee.

Then we do the NYT Spelling Bee together while I finish my coffee.  I had felt inadequate when he always could find more words than I could so now he stops-usually--at the point where I have stopped.  It is amazing how we see separate lists of words.  One day we each had 23 words before combining lists and there was almost no overlap.  

After we made our usual trip to get groceries at McCaffreys, Jim drove me to the Princeton Public Library and parked in the driveway next to the entrance so that I could get my two requested books and find a few more.  Then this afternoon we went to the Princeton Seminary Library where he checked out one book for his research and another one for me that I could not find at the public library or Better World Books.  The movable shelves could be a thing of nightmares for me but after I opened the slot a bit, he went in and found my book and checked it out on his card. 

Later this afternoon Jim will pour me a glass of wine and we will probably do a NYT crossword puzzle together--or just watch the Army-Navy game.  

I rely more and more on the cane he bought for me last April and sometimes am happy to take his arm as well. He encourages me to take at least one short walk each day.   I am thankful for my husband of 57 1/2 years and thankful for each day we have together and I pray there will be many more! 

------------One more thing!  On Sunday mornings, Jim drives the long way to church so he can drop me off right in front of the sanctuary so I don't have to walk from the municipal parking lot or even cross the street.  After church I do walk with him to the car. 

Christmas

 I have led adult church school classes three times over the years both in Raleigh and in South Bend on the topic of simplifying Christmas.  But I still get caught up in the stress of finding gifts for everyone on our list.  I love each person and want to find the perfect gift but am at a loss as to what that gift is. 

At least there are no work obligations or parties.  There are choir rehearsals with our Grace Notes Choir and our two Advent Communion services but that is nothing like some long choir rehearsals in the past--or playing the organ for Christmas Eve services.  Last  night we listened via Livestream to grandson Michael's George Washington Jazz Orchestra's Holiday Concert and saw and heard Michael featured with trombone solos a few times.  Maybe we can do some other livestream events for the Conway grandchildren.  

One traditional gift that is expected by the grandchildren is a chocolate letter of their names.  The letters have been ordered from VanderVeen's The Dutch Store and they have arrived.  I have learned to order them plenty in time for Christmas.  

Almost all the other gifts have arrived from Amazon and Land's End.  I miss seeing the stores all decorated for Christmas but online shopping is so convenient. 

I have ordered Shutterfly cards this year with a family photo of the whole VK gang--18 of us on the steps of the Ocean Grove cottage Laura and Michael rent each year.  I love getting family photos from others and so this year I will reciprocate.  

We have also learned to get our little table top tree on time.  Last year we found one with difficulty at a local nursery.  This year we went to Whole Foods where we have purchased trees many other years and found plenty of choices.  It is so easy to put it up--already in its little stand.  One string of lights is enough.  However, half of the string suddenly died today so we may need to go to Amazon one more time.  

I have made sugar cookie dough for a cookie baking session tomorrow with Laura and Ruth.  My sister sent me the recipe which she thinks I sent her years ago and that it came from our Grandma Vander Molen.  My memory is that  Grandma did not have a recipe but just did a pinch of this or that.  However, this recipe tasted to me like I remember her cookies tasted.  The dough has to be refrigerated for several hours so it had to be made ahead of time.  Ruth bought some fancy cookie cutters which she showed me on Thanksgiving.  They will even make impressions in the dough.  Good thing, because we searched everywhere and cannot find our cookie cutters--one more thing missing from our move here.  I found red and green sugars at Target this week so we should be all set to decorate. Laura and Ruth have made gingerbread cookie dough ahead of time because it also needed to be refrigerated.  This event has taken some planning! 

Every year I say I will not make banket again, but once again I ordered several pounds of almond paste from The Dutch Store.  The folks I have given banket to have been so enthusiastic about it--including Alonso, one of our maintenance men here at Barclay Square who even wondered if I could make it for Halloween too!  It went over very well with our grand-daughter's partner's parents who brought some home for the grandmother on his side.  So I will probably take a deep breath and roll out the crusts and fill them up again. 

I will add photos of the baking session tomorrow. 

December 8 An unexpected joy while walking to the municipal parking lot after church was coming up on the Tigertones, a Princeton University male Acapella group, singing O Holy Night.  They were huddled in a doorway and sang without printed music.  It was so beautiful.  It gave me chills.  It was a Christmas gift to me "O Night Divine, the night Christ was born."  I told one of them I had never heard it sung more beautifully and that was true for my 78 years!  

Cookie baking with Laura and Ruth was a treat in many ways.  Good cookies and good company! And Ruth requested a Scrabble game with her grandmother--and helped hang ornaments on our little tree.

----------December 13  One small crisis was averted I hope.  Land's End sent me just one of the fleeces I ordered for James and Michael.  I checked their website and the second one was backordered for January 25!  With some difficulty I contacted Land's End and used text messaging to change the order to another size and color.  That is being processed right now--I just checked their website. So we may get that by Christmas after all!  

Thanksgiving!

 

Arthur Brooks in his essays about happiness in the Atlantic reminds us to practice gratitude--to list what you are thankful for.  I do this in my private journals and probably that is best.  

But here is a list to share for my blog--with its maybe ten readers--but also for our Blog2Print for 2024 to be put together soon.

I am grateful for family.  57 years ago we made our marriage vows and we have kept them.  And we were so blessed to have three children who married three wonderful spouses.  And now there are eight grandchildren ranging in age from almost 5 to 26. There are 18 in this photo including a boyfriend and a girlfriend for two older grandchildren. And our daughter is in charge of our Thanksgiving meal.   

I am grateful for Jim who is patient and loving to me and takes care of me as I take his arm to walk.  He always has done his fair share of household duties but he digs in more and more.  As I write this, he is taking the laundry out of the washer and putting it in the dryer. I am thankful for the NYT Spelling Bee and crossword puzzles that give us daily challenges to do together.  I am thankful for each day we have together and pray there will be many more.

I am grateful for prayer and know I need to trust more that all will be well when I pray for ourselves, our family, and very much now for our country.

I am grateful for medical help.  I have needed more help in the last month or so and I have found kind and competent people to take care of me.  And there has been healing.  I have expressed my gratitude to them and I know that has been appreciated.

I am grateful for friends--old friends who email and call and new friends here in Princeton.  To make new friends at our age is not something we take for granted.

I am grateful for Sacred Space, an online resource put out by the Irish Jesuits.  It always helps me have more peace of mind and a calmer spirit.

I am grateful for books to read, for Goodreads that helps me find and record books, for our wonderful library and for Better World Books and Amazon Kindle so I can order books easily.  

I am grateful for journals that I keep online--a therapy journal and a spiritual journal.  They let me express myself easily and for my eyes only! 

I am grateful for such a comfortable and luxurious place to live here at Barclay Square.  It makes it difficult to think of moving to a senior living community.  But if we choose to do so, we have the financial resources to make that move and for that also I am grateful.

I am grateful for music in my life--for Grace Notes Choir--for singing hymns in church.  I need to take advantage of making more music with my digital piano right here in our dining room.

I am grateful for a bit of mindfulness each day as I sit on our deck and get some sun on my face and listen to the far off traffic and rustling leaves and do my breath prayers of "healing in and fears out, gratitude in and worries out."  

I am grateful for this blog and for the memories we can access through the Blog2Print books I make for each year.

I am grateful for social media to help me be in touch with friends from many eras in our past.  I am grateful for news sources but have to be aware of too much doom scrolling leading to despair over our political situation recently.

I am grateful for our country but very concerned for the prospects of the next administration.  I have to accept that others see the world differently than I do and hope and pray that the next four years are not hurtful for many. 

"Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget not all his benefits."  Psalm 103:2 

November 29  Thanksgiving dinner was at Laura and Michael's home with Dan and Alex there too. It was  a feast in the dining room with the lovely china that Laura bought from the estate's previous owner.  

Cheering for the Irish

 

Yesterday was a very good day for Irish sports fans like us.  The Notre Dame women's basketball team was on NBC at 4 pm playing against a University of Southern California team.  Hannah Hidalgo with her teammate Olivia Miles put on a show with a combined 44 points, 14 rebounds and 15  assists and in Hannah's case, 5 steals.  Hidalgo is so much fun to watch as she seems to be everywhere getting her hands in the way of the opposition.  It was a 74-61 win.  ND had a plan to stop USC's Juju Watkins and it was carried out well even if she did have 24 points--same as Hidalgo's total.  

Then at 7 pm, on NBC again, the Notre Dame football went up against Army at Yankee Stadium in what was called the Shamrock Series.  Riley Leonard was in control as quarterback until, with the game firmly in hand, the coach put in Steven Angeli to give him some experience before he will probably be the man in charge next year.  A touching video was featured at half time in which ND's kicker Goin was honored for his seven years in the Army before coming to ND to do graduate work in business and becoming a walk on member of the team.  Marcus Freeman praised his mature leadership and thanked him for his service to our country.  It is always impressive to see the Army cadets all in uniform in a cheering section and to remember the commitment they are making well beyond their college career.

So we enjoyed two big wins yesterday with hopes for a continued winning season for both teams. 

-------------December 10 We get to cheer for ND in the college playoff football games when they play Indiana in South Bend on December 20.  Should be a cold game to watch--and we hear very expensive. 

------------December 12  The women beat UConn and Hannah Hildago had so much fun and we had so much fun watching her. Jim was just chuckling at her moves.

Lifting my Spirits

 

I have been despondent today.  I should not be surprised but Trump's nominations for cabinet posts are terrible and dangerous.  The qualification has been loyalty to him and a desire for revenge on groups that cost some angst in the past.  I am trying to tell myself that there are good signs--that the sensible Republicans in the Senate have appointed Thune as their leader instead of Trump's man Scott thanks to a secret ballot.  Trump can't take revenge because he does not know how each one voted.  Not all Senators are Trump loyalists --some may refuse to confirm his appointees. Or he may push them through with "recess" appointments. 

None of this will affect my confortable life directly but I despair for our country and feel so powerless.  

My dear husband turned on the gas fireplace, put together some queso and chips and a glass of wine, and we did our usual NYT crossword puzzle--and could even do today's puzzle because it is Thursday.  I am grateful for these ordinary pleasures and was able to take joy in them.  

-----------------I just spent some time perusing old blogs--especially those of the pandemic days.  It is so good to read them and to remember those times--the difficulties and the joys.  It helps me to write my thoughts at the time--with my musings for today--and it is good to have the reminders of days gone by. 

Pain

 About ten days ago I began having pain in the middle of my back.  Jim went to our small group from church alone while I stayed home tethered to my heating pad.  Happily, the pain went away after two or three days.  But it came back the following Monday.  I went to the small group and chose a seat where there was a pillow behind my back.  I was not comfortable but I did it.  I went to Grace Notes Choir the next day as well--with some tension, but I did it.  

Thursday I sent a message to my primary care physician on our portal.  Sadly, he was out until November 18.  I was told to call to see someone else or to find a back doctor.  I went to United Health Care and looked for a doctor who would take our insurance.  The first one I called sent me to another practice and that practice said they couldn't see me until late November and then they would no longer take our insurance after December 1.

I called our primary care people at Montgomery Internal Medicine and they gave me an appointment with Sylvia Okoji,  a nurse practitioner,  for Friday, the very next day.  Jim had seen Sylvia before and respected and liked her. 

I was asked how bad was the pain on a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst you ever had.  It was not a ten--that was my ruptured disc pain in 1986.  I said 6 or 7.  Earlier that morning I told Jim that it reminded me of labor pains--intense, squeezing pain.  Some of those were tens!  Especially my last labor with a nine pound baby! 

Sylvia was kind and thorough.  She eliminated shingles and a urinary tract infection.  She gave me  prescriptions for a muscle relaxer and an x-ray.

I called Penn Medicine Radiology to schedule the x-ray and they said to come in at 3 pm--in just a few hours! 

The waiting room at Radiology was packed with folks and I despaired but I was called very quickly and Kyle, the technician, was also very kind and helpful. Because it was Friday afternoon, I didn't expect results over the weekend.  But to my surprise, when I checked the portal Saturday am, there was a message from Sylvia that the x-ray was negative.  So the pain probably was muscular as she thought. There was no disc problem and some arthritis showed up.  

I was so grateful to be able to get care quickly and with kindness and compassion.  However, it is now Sunday and the pain is still there--and I have had a couple of rough nights trying to sleep while getting the heating pad positioned for relief.  I have taken four out of the five muscle relaxers pills and am hoping that today is a better day.  It's not excruciating pain, it is just gnawing and can't be ignored.  Fortunately, the heating pad and lying down helps but that is not a good way to live. So if I am not better tomorrow, I will contact Sylvia again on the portal.   Last Thursday, I didn't know which way to turn to get help.  But now I have someone caring for me and am trying to hope for relief--along with prayers for healing.

----------November 11--a good night of sleep without any need for the heating pad! Hooray!

November 12--No pain today and it is such a relief.  I thanked Sylvia on the portal and received such a kind message from her in response.  I told her about this blog and I hope she reads it and feels my gratitude!

November 19--I did a survey from Penn Medicine but decided to call their customer relations and leave a more directed compliment for their prompt reading and response.  First thing Monday morning I got a phone call from them thanking me for my compliments and saying they would pass them on to their Leadership Team along with the specific names of the people who had helped me. 

December 12--I got a bill for $30 from Penn Medicine this morning.  I saw that the charge for the x-rays was $3361. Thank God for health insurance!   Many are complaining about United Health right now after the murder of its CEO but we have no reason to complain.  Our co-payments have been low thus far.

Can I Move to Canada?

  A week ago, I googled if I could move to Canada if Trump wins the election.  The answer is No.  I am too old.  I could not get a work permit.  I could visit for a few months, but I could not stay.  In any case, I would not want to leave my children and grandchildren and I like where I am living--our apartment and our area. 

But when I think of Donald Trump as president, I am ashamed and embarrassed that such a man could be elected and could represent our country.  He lies, he insults others, he is vulgar, he incites violence and he threatens to do terrible things if elected.  Rounding up immigrants, legal and illegal, and putting them in camps?  What a horrible, demeaning idea.  Getting rid of civil service employees and replacing them with his loyalists?  Scary.  It was bad enough when he had some brakes on what he wanted to do in his previous administration. The New York Times listed 91 members of the Trump era who find him unfit to lead our country.   They see how dangerous he could be.   Calling out the military to punish his political opponents?   Would my private little blog be a reason to punish me?  I doubt it but more public folks who disagree with him are called enemies.   Would my giving a small amount to the Harris-Walz campaign mean I am an enemy?  I should have given more if it would make a difference.  

I dread the election.  I dread the days after the election when we await the results.  I dread Trump's winning but I even dread his losing if he incites violence as he did the last time.  He has done many immoral and really illegal things, but refusing to accept his loss in 2021 is maybe the most dangerous one for our country and he is setting the stage to do it again.  

I pray nightly for our country and I pray for Donald Trump--that he could have a change of heart and stop his lies and his insults to others.  Maybe he could even say he was sorry although he has said he has no need of asking God for forgiveness of his sins.  Do I really believe God can work in someone's heart?  I would like to think so and hope he hears my heartfelt prayers. 

------------Then in church last week I realized that among the sins I needed to confess was my anger towards Donald Trump when I probably should feel compassion for such an unhappy man.  He must be unhappy because otherwise he would not have such a need to disparage and insult others--a need to put others down to raise yourself up. 

-----------October 28--It just gets worse by the day.  Trump's rally in Madison Square Garden was nasty--insulting to Puerto Ricans, vulgar in comments by several including insults to Kamala Harris. He has referred to Arnold Palmer in admiring but vulgar terms.    Trump hints at his "secret" with Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House, as to what they will do if he does not win the popular vote. Mike Pence was the hero in 2021.  

November 1  And on it goes.  Now Trump's  desire is to see Liz Cheney lined up with rifles pointing at her so she can see what it is like to go to war.  I hope and pray no one takes Trump's suggestion to heart and goes after Cheney.  She has been courageous in supporting Harris as one of many Republicans who have done so.  It is incredible that he can be so dangerous in his speech and get away with it.  Three more days and the votes will be in and ready to be counted.  I am afraid and have to keep praying and remembering that God is in control.  

November 5  Election Day.  We voted by mail and received notice via a postcard that our votes were counted.  The system is working in Plainsboro, New Jersey and I pray that it is working everywhere in the country and that the votes will be counted and recognized as valid and that the results will be accepted without violence.  

November 6  Trump won.  I am sick at heart.  How could so many people vote for such an immoral man who lied, was vulgar, and insulting to anyone who disagreed with him?  How can he be kept from carrying out his goal of retribution to his so-called enemies?  I downloaded a photo of him for this blog but I can't bear to put his face in it.  May God preserve our nation.  

November 10  As one pundit wrote, Trump is my president whether I like it or not.  So what can I do beside pray?  The election is over; Trump was elected and democracy worked even if I don't like it.  My opinion was sadly in the minority. I can still pray for justice and for good leaders.  But I also renewed my ACLU membership and gave an extra amount to the ACLU Freedom Defense Fund because ACLU will fight the deportations and the separation of family members.  

November 14 It gets worse by the day as we read of Trump's appointees to cabinet positions in which loyalty to him is the requirement, not expertise.  Matt Gaetz as Attorney General will no longer be invesitgated by Congress because he resigned form Congress.  We hope the Senate will refuse to confirm some of these unqualified people.  The Senate in secret ballots voted Thune as their leader and not Scott as Trump wanted.  

November 22  Gaetz withdrew his nomination.  This is good news.  Maybe there will be more--one can hope!  Hegseth as head of Defense is troublesome; Gabbard and Kennedy are not qualified.  Musk with all his money seems to be a shadow president and will have a lot of control over financing the government.  We watch Washington Week every Friday night and it is depressing. 

Every Six Months

 

I wondered if I had written about Jim's bout with prostate cancer before and looked back to the fall of 2019 and yes, I had done so--and even mentioned the recurring PSA tests he would have for the rest of his life.  So every six months, Jim has blood drawn and sent off to the lab and we await the results with some stress.  And every six months, we have had good news that the numbers are low and within the normal range.  The urologist has told Jim he could make his appointments yearly but Jim has felt he wants to have it checked every six months.  Early detection is probably a good idea.  

The results have been on his portal the very next morning.  Jim greeted me with the good news and we are both so relieved and thankful.  He said yesterday it is like a burden lifted.  I prayed that if the numbers were high, we would get good medical advice and know what to do next.  We are very aware that many people do not get good news after medical tests and at our age, the good news can't last forever.  But this is another six month reprieve.

We celebrated with a happy hour meal at On the Border--where we have celebrated other occasions--even memorably a Covid take-out meal after the last radiation treatment four and a half years ago.  The waitress claimed to remember us and called us her "regulars."  Maybe she did but in any case, it was a good line and made us want to tip generously!  I will remind myself however on the next occasion that a smaller margarita would be a better idea.  

I deal with my anxiety by emailing our children and their spouses.  Jim deals with his anxiety in his own way--but less publicly.  

I wondered if the threat of cancer again would mean that Stonebridge would not want to take us into independent living.  Maybe this good result is a sign that we should pursue that option now.  In the last week there has been another sign--two folks who live there have told us that it is a wonderful place and they are so grateful for it.  Another woman told us that her parents have loved being there.  It's a matter for our prayers because the way is not clear to us yet.  What will I be writing in this blog in 2025? 

A New Jersey Adventure and a Will

The Rug in
David's Office 

Our former neighbor John O'Donnell is a financial planner and was interested enough in our situation to get information about senior housing options.  When he presented them to us (and did this all out of friendship), he strongly advised us to update our wills.  He gave us the name of an attorney he trusted.  So today we made the hour long drive to Morristown, New Jersey to meet with David Lewis in a lovely old house in a historic town.  It was a very good meeting in which David was delighted to tell us of all his Notre Dame connections--his father, his wife's father, he and his wife, and four of his five children are all Domers!  And it was a ND priest who married him and his wife in Puerto Rico. 

David was reassuring about the whole process of settling an estate in New Jersey and gave us good information along with various questions we still need to answer.  Jim will contact our financial planner (aka "wealth advisor") in South Bend and I will gather some addresses for our donations.  I felt overwhelmed but when I googled how to settle probate in Middlesex County the instructions were all spelled out.  One needs to prove that one is married or related to the recently deceased so I was wondering if our marriage license was available.  Jim looked in our strong box and sure enough, we are officially married and can prove it! 

We are really glad we have the process started and feel good that we have lived here long enough that we know folks who can help us out and make good recommendations for people one can trust.  

We had a pleasant ride home on country roads as directed by our Apple maps.  It was good to leave I 287 with all the trucks.  In fact, the only real traffic tie-up was when we had to take turns getting on the one lane bridge that crossed what may have been the Delaware Raritan Canal or Millstone Creek.  

And then to finish the day up well, the Mets beat the Phillies in a close, tense game and will go on to the National League Champion Series.  

-----------I always say Psalm 23 before trying to fall asleep.  Last night I felt the day had been one of "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death."  Too many thoughts about the end for either one of us--stimulated by the day's information and decisions.  Hope I can clear all that away today!

I Can't Find Them!

When we first moved here five years ago, we found ourselves looking for items often.  Even the pots and pans were missing at first until we found them in a box mixed in with Jim's book boxes. I used a wine bottle as a rolling pin when I couldn't find ours--but that showed up later. 

 A recipe I used this week said one absolutely had to sift the flour.  But where was my flour sifter?  I could not find it and wondered if it was in such poor condition that I never moved it.  Not a frequently used item!   The beer bread was fine without sifting the flour.  

We have a wedding to celebrate on Sunday and the invitation specified "cocktail" dress code.  I bought a new dress on Amazon and spent more money having it hemmed than I spent on the dress.  Then I wondered where my little dressy handbags might be--and to my surprise found them easily on a higher shelf in our walk-in closet where they were gathering dust.  But now, where were my black patent leather strappy sandals?  We looked everywhere and found other items we had forgotten about but no shoes.  Jim found me another pair in the bottom of a little used closet that will have to be suitable but I am frustrated by this.  At least we don't need to make an emergency trip to  DSW for new shoes to be worn maybe once.  I think I wore the missing shoes to Dan and Alex's wedding so they must have made the trip to the east coast.  

---------And with Amazon Prime, I was able to order panty hose and a half slip and they arrived one day later.  

----------A note after the wedding--My dress was very appropriate and I was able to walk from the church to the reception a few blocks away without a problem.  I met one other person who said she got her dress from Amazon too!  It was fun to see what "cocktail dress" on the invitation looked like for others! 

The wedding was beautiful and the reception food excellent.  They were a very happy couple who were "smitten" with each other from their first meeting. The photo is of the bride dancing with her dad at the reception at the Nassau Inn. 

Dinner and a New EV Car

Dan and Alex stopped to visit enroute from a wedding in Maryland to their home in the Catskills.  They were eager to show us their brand new EV--on its maiden voyage.  They plugged it into a charging station at our apartment complex which involved downloading an app but seemed to be done easily.  While it was charging, we took our old fashioned Kia to Season 52 for dinner.  Susan was able to join us but Jeff was across the border in Ottawa for a week-long workshop.

Dinner interrupted our watching of the Mets game--sadly a loss to the Phillies in game two of the series.  We like the Phillies too and maybe they will be the team for us to watch as the post season goes on.  So thankful to be able to spend time with our son and two daughters-in-law. 

The Amazing Mets

 

We have enjoyed cheering on the Mets as our local team in the last few years.  And as one of their mottos says, "You Gotta Believe."   After a very rough start to this season (0-5), they have won their wild card race in two out of three games over the Brewers and they are going to to play the Phillies in the next phase of the long play-off post season.

Earlier this week on Monday there was an unusual double header with the Atlanta Braves to make up for the rain delay due to hurricane Helene.  The Mets managed to win one of the two games and thus went on to meet the Brewers.  All three games were at the Brewers' home stadium because they had a higher wild card standing. 

We despaired last night when the Brewers got off to an early lead but our heroes Lindor, Nimmo and Alonso came through with a walk and a hit and then a home run off a great Brewer closer Devin Williams--all in the ninth inning!  Peterson, who is usually a starting pitcher, was called in for the bottom of the ninth, and he took care of the Brewers with a final score of 4-2.   The Brewer fans were stunned into silence, the Mets fans at a watch party at Citi Field were rejoicing and we get to watch the Amazing Mets for another few days at least.  

Contacting Authors

If I have any hobby, it probably is reading books.  I spend quite a bit of time perusing book suggestions and making lists in a little notebook and on a "for later" list at our local library--and a "want to read" list on Goodreads.  I don't bother to finish books that I find boring or unpleasant.  I almost always have one book in process.

And after I read a book that I have really enjoyed and rated five stars on Goodreads, I find it very difficult to pick up another book.   So right now, I am at a loss to get involved in another volume.

I just finished Agatha Christie Mallowan's memoir about being on archaeology digs--Come Tell Me How You Live.  It was great fun to read Christie in a different role than as an author of mysteries.  Her book was funny in parts as she told of the difficulties of packing and also impressive as she wrote about the discomforts of living and working at digs.  

I have developed a very happy habit of contacting authors that I have enjoyed.  But I cannot do that this time!  It can take a bit of effort to write an author.  I have sent messages to publishers who forward the email.  I have left messages on websites.  My last contact seemed hard to reach but Ilyon Woo, the author of the Pulitzer prize winning book Master Slave Husband Wife, had an instagram account so I messaged her there and very quickly got a response.  She was happy I had enjoyed the book and yes, it was a lot of research.  She said she had gotten obsessed with the research.

Because my husband and my daughter are published authors, I know that they appreciate hearing from readers.  It has given me joy to contact authors and to encourage them when they have given me joy in reading. I can't think of any author who has not responded to my note of thanks to him or her.

Covid Vaccines Again

 I got notice that we could get a Covid booster at CVS again.  I made appointments for both of us very easily online at a local Plainsboro CVS where we had done previous vaccines.  We checked in when we arrived and had no wait at all to be helped.  When I mentioned how efficient all this was compared to our struggles to get that first vaccine, the technician agreed and said how easy it is to forget how life was at that point.  Empty store shelves, hospitals overwhelmed by folks in the ER, not enough ventilators, churches and schools closed.  People are still getting Covid and we hope we will avoid it.  We are drinking lots of water today and wondering if we will feel some side effects later.  We are feeling very grateful to be able to do this step so easily today.  

September 18  We both drank lots of water and had no side effects at all--just felt the injection spot when I lay on the side last night.  Happy to be vaccinated and hope it really works!  As we shopped at Target this morning, I remembered that was the first place we went that said we had to be masked to enter when folks were aware of the dangers of exposure.  

Another Go at Our Memories

Five years ago, when we packed up and moved from our home of 25 years, I spent hours and weeks sorting through boxes of letters and cards and childhood memorabilia (report cards! piano recitals!).  It was sometime fun and sometimes very sad as I tried to look up friends from long ago and realized they were no longer with us.  There were many items that I saved, packed into shoeboxes and then into two larger boxes.  They found a home in our spacious garage at our apartment complex and I forgot about them.

Last week, I noticed water on the floor of the garage.  It was coming from a faucet that was leaking--a faucet that we had never used.  Sadly, it meant that the boxes were damp on the bottom.  I began a rescue operation in which items were pulled out and deposited in dry boxes.  I had to throw out a few things but many may be salvageable even if they smell a bit moldy right now.  

We had to laugh at some of the cards we had given each other over the years and some of the handiwork of our offspring.  (Dr. Dan VanderKam and his secretary Laura VanderKam--sexism that I guess did not matter at the time).  Most of the items I put away for another day.  I don't have the zeal for sorting it all out again.  

And then there were all the work items I saved thinking that I might tutor as a volunteer again.  Covid put an end to that ambition for a couple of years and now it just seems like too much effort.  But I found I  could not throw it all out.  Six volumes of Megawords?  Word charts?  A guide to phonics?  Too many memories and hard work were represented by those books and information.

So what will happen to it all?  Maybe I will be ambitious again and be more ruthless in editing all that paper.  If we move to assisted living, we would need a storage unit for it all.  That would give me some motivation. Maybe I will pass on and my children, in cleaning out our place, will find it easy to dump it all. But for right now,  I don't have to do anything but let some wet paper dry out and postpone most decisions for another day. 

Moonflowers

I have enjoyed moonflowers for many years.  I buy seeds from Amazon in April and start them in the house--first softening them in water and then putting them in a pot in the window.  When a few of them germinate, I rejoice and plant at least one vine outside when there is no danger of frost.  The last few years I have been able to pass on a second vine to a friend.

It takes months of watching the vine grow and grow but show no sign of buds.  At long last,  a few weeks ago, we had our first blossom.  Jim has been very faithful in remembering to water the plant--which means a trip downstairs with a full container of water.  He has also been good about looking out for a blossom because if you don't get a glimpse of it at night, it is too late in the morning.  The blossom will last one night and then wither and die.

The flowers are beautiful and have given us joy over the years.  They shine brightly white in the moonlight and are aptly named.  I hope we can enjoy them for another month until there is a fall frost.

A New Wedding Ring

 Several months ago I realized that I was unable to get my wedding rings off my fingers.  I went to a local jewelry store, Hamilton Jewelers, on Nassau Street here in Princeton and they cut the rings off my hand.  I put them in our safety deposit box at home and waited for the marks on my finger to disappear.  It took months and I kept delaying the choices I knew I needed to make about resizing the rings. Cutting the rings off was "complimentary."  New rings were pricey! 

Finally we went back to Hamilton Jewelers yesterday.  I had a photo of a single wedding band that I showed them and they agreed it would be "beautiful."  It would also be expensive with the price of gold very high.  I asked for 14 carat gold, not 18 carat.  The single band had to be large enough to fit my little diamond in the setting. It sparkled beautifully in the bright lights of the jewelry store and I knew I would be happy to have it on my hand again. 

I had a moment of panic when I reached into the zipper pocket in my purse to pull out the little bagged ring and it wasn't there!  But I had already handed it to the gentleman who was assisting me.  He had turned me over to another assistant when one more customer came in and wanted to sell his Patek watch to the store.  My transaction was less complicated I guess. 

So the ring is ordered.  It will take a few weeks to come in and then they will set my diamond in it.  I am very happy with my choice and very thankful we have better financial circumstances now than when we first exchanged wedding rings 57 years ago!  I will finish this post when I can take a photo of the ring on my hand.  

Years ago, when I joined Facebook, I was feeling frisky and wrote that my status was "in a relationship."  So I was--even as it was a married relationship.  When I get my ring, I think I will post a photo with the words that it is a new wedding ring but not a new husband.  Maybe then I can change my relationship status to "married."  

September 13  Today was an intermediate step.  The gold wedding band has arrived and it fit.  Now they need to place my diamond in it.  There will be another two week wait.  Traffic was terrible getting into Princeton--and then three doors were locked at the jewelry store.  It's probably a good idea to lock doors, but I couldn't find an entrance.  I was thankful for Jim's help in driving me there and walking with me back to the car.  

September 18  Yesterday Karen called and said her jeweler had to make some changes.  I said I trusted her and then as evening came on, I got worried about spending all that money and not liking the ring.  So this morning I emailed her and asked for a photo--and it arrived and it will be fine.  Not worth the worry I put into it.  It is just a once in a lifetime purchase--even if this is its third ramification--and it's a lot of money.  Again, another lesson for me not to get obsessed or fixated on things!  

September 26  My ring has arrived.  I am very happy with it.  Karen thought it was beautiful.  I said I felt like a newlywed and when Jim came to pick me up, I gave him a kiss.  Karen enjoyed that!

57 years

 

57 years of marriage is worth celebrating and we have!  We had a family dinner at Ocean Grove last weekend which I wrote about last week.  Last night we made the very short trip to Ruth's Chris for their happy hour, a day early for celebrating but happy hour does not occur on the weekend. We found a table easily and ordered sandwiches and wine at reasonable prices for Ruth's Chris at least.  When the waitress asked if we wanted to see the dessert menu, we thought Why not?  It's our anniversary.  We settled on the bread pudding and wondered why it was taking so long to come.  Probably it was because they wrote Happy Anniversary on the plate.  We asked the waitress to take a photo of the two of us--as we have not mastered the art of taking selfies.  

Then today we bought an ice cream cake at McCaffrey's and enjoyed a celebratory dessert after an ordinary but tasty meal of chicken thighs and vegetables.  Jeff and Susan stopped by this afternoon with a gift--a framed photo of the 18 of us as seen on the last blog post.  

We wrote notes to each other as we often do on special occasions and I treasure those notes.We did the NYT Spelling Bee and the NYT crossword puzzle as we do daily.  Although today, we struggled to get to "genius" on the spelling bee but finally after a second try and using hints this afternoon, we succeeded.

It was so long ago that we said our vows at the 12th Avenue Christian Reformed Church in Jenison, Michigan.  We spent our first night of marriage at our second floor apartment on Humboldt Street in Grand Rapids, Michigan and then left for a week long honeymoon to Montreal and Expo 67 and upstate New York.  We could never have imagined that 57 years later we would be Grandpa and Grandma VanderKam and would see our family grow to 18 of us.  We are grateful.  At our 30th anniversary, Jim toasted us saying "To 30 more years."  I hope and pray we make it to that--and beyond--in good health and enjoying each other's company. 

The Baby Game

 

Seven years ago, Laura and Michael rented a large cottage in Ocean Grove, New Jersey and invited the entire family to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary.  It was a great week with beach time and lots of good eating.  I had tried to think of ways that the whole family (with a variety of ages among the cousins) could participate in activities and I came up with a scavenger hunt and a baby game.  The scavenger hunt paired older cousins with younger ones and asked for cell phone photo proof of their finds.  It was a great success and got everyone exploring the village of Ocean Grove. 

The other activity was a baby game.  I found baby photos, printed them up in black and white, and numbered them 1-14.  The goal was to match the baby photo with the adult or child.   Our winners with perfect scores were the two mothers among us--Susan and Laura.  This year at Ruth's request, the baby game was found and brought along. I added two more photos to the mix--Henry and Alexandra. Two of the older cousins had their special friends along--and they joined in trying to recognize the matches.  Ruth was very pleased that this time she had a perfect score!  

57 years ago on August 24, 1967, Jim and I made our vows and how grateful we are to celebrate with 18 of us in the family photo this year!  (Thanks to our resident photographer Susan who set up the tripod and remote camera and kept us all smiling!)

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

 So much is happening in the news right now and I want to process it but am overwhelmed and frustrated and sad.   Yet I want to remember the events of this week and hope at some point I can say that all is well.  I am saying to myself, " He's got the whole world in his hands."  "He's got Biden and Trump and Vance and Harris in his hands." 

 I had been hoping some traditional Republicans would be able to find a better man or woman to run for President than Donald Trump but that has not happened.  He gave his acceptance speech last night at the Republican National Convention and has become what I consider to be a cult figure with folks raising their fists and shouting "Fight!"  He survived a terrible assassination attempt last Saturday and speaks of God's sparing him.  God did spare him but another man who did nothing wrong but show up for a Trump rally was killed.  So was the shooter, a young man whose motive is not yet determined. People at the RNC were wearing white bandages on their ears in solidarity with Trump. 

Now I am hoping enough Democrats can convince Joe Biden that someone else is better qualified to take on Donald Trump in November.  But he is digging in hard to resist that scenario and I find myself very frustrated with him.  He is a good man and has done a good job as President, but he should have handed over the campaign to others months ago.  Is it such outsize egos in these men to think they are the only ones who can save our country from ruin?

 I fear it is not only our country that is in danger.  I despair when Trump says he will take us out of NATO and climate change is a hoax.  He admires Putin. Our European allies are concerned. Trump says immigrants have to be rounded up into camps and deported.  And oil men should give him money because he will save their companies.

 Trump says he will get revenge on those who have indicted him.  He was spared the trial in Florida because a judge he appointed has given him a break.  That may still be appealed.  Sentencing is yet to take place in the trial in NYC in which a jury of 12 found him guilty on 34 counts.  Even if elected president, he cannot pardon himself in that trial because it was a state charge not a Federal charge.  I don't know what has happened in Georgia where he was taped asking an election official to find him the necessary number of votes to call the state for him in 2020.  And then there is the terrible scene on January 6 in which he encouraged folks to march on the Capitol and did not call them off for hours.  The Supreme Court may give him immunity for his actions there--and immunity for anything he may do in the future. 

I hope and pray that this post may be outdated soon.  Maybe Biden will give up and there will be an open convention in August with capable, young men and women wanting to serve our country.  I don't wish bad health for either man but they are both too old to take on the duties of the Presidency.  All I can do is pray for our country. I can remember that there have been bad times before.  We weathered January 6 and there was a peaceful transition of power later that month.  The 60s were a time of great turmoil with protests and assassinations and a war that brought death to far too many.  May we survive again.

July 21  We just read the news that Joseph Biden has withdrawn from the race for President and endorsed Kamala Harris.  This is very good news.  I hope Harris can be a good candidate.  I think she can hold her own against Donald Trump and JD Vance.  CBS News broke into regular programming with Norah O'Donnell at the desk.  All her political reporters were on the job.  Now the big question is who will be the VP candidate?  

July 22 The NYT Editorial:  "Mr. Biden has done what Mr. Trump never will:  He has placed the national interest above his own pride and ambition....Mr. Trump is a felon who flouts the law and the Constitution, an inveterate liar beholden to no higher cause than his self-interest and a reckless policy maker indifferent to the well-being of the American people...In a second term he would operate with fewer restraints and more willing enablers, and he and his emboldened advisers have made clear they intend to exercise power ruthlessly."

August 7  Harris chose Governor Walz of Minnesota to be her VP candidate.  I think it was a good choice.  He has done good things in Minnesota--which Trump and Vance call radically liberal, but lunches for school children and better health care are not radical ideas!  We shall see.  There is a lot of enthusiasm for this pair.  More "radical" ideas come out from Vance's past like calling Simone Biles weak when she withdrew from the Olympics in 2020 for mental health issues and calling single women "cat ladies" who don't have a vested interest in the country's future.  Not good things to say and will hurt him I hope!

September 13 Trump and Harris debated a few nights ago.  If one can call it a debate!  Most pundits agree that Harris looked better than Trump who went off on his usual tangents--this time lies about Haitian refugees eating people's pets.  Trump however boasted of his victory--but is refusing to debate again. 

September 18  Schools in Springfield, Ohio--the place where Trump and Vance claim pets are being eaten has had to close schools and government buildings because of bomb threats.  There was a second assassination attempt on Trump at his golf course.  The political rhetoric increases the chance for violence.  It is frightening.  I pray nightly for it to stop.  

A Five Year Anniversary

 Jim suggested we find the exact date we moved into our apartment five years ago.  It took some research through my blogs and his diaries but he found it.  The movers were here July 17 and we stayed one more night after that at Homewood Suites.  So our first day at Barclay Square was July 18, 2019.  

We have accomplished a lot in five years.  We were off to some bumps when cancer and Covid were disruptive.  But we have found doctors, a dentist, a hair stylist, libraries, and a church. 

 This morning at church we chatted with several folks and one other person introduced herself to us so we are still meeting folks.  And that is a good feeling.  We are no longer strangers!

Jim has golfing buddies and a regular place to play which is what he likes--no need for variety there.  He is planning on a breakfast date with someone this week and I am hoping to make a birthday lunch for my Barclay Square friend. 

We have had many cookouts at Jeff and Susan's home just a ten-minute ride from here and that has been wonderful.  We have been to concerts and plays and performances both here in Princeton and near Gladwyne.  We have made some trips to Brooklyn and now to Wallkill, New York.  We can participate in the lives of our children and grandchildren without making a 700 mile trip down I 80.  

A Granger neighbor called me today and I chatted with another friend from South Bend earlier this week--so we continue to keep up ties from there.  We still think of the church in South Bend as "our church" and try to support them.  

We are thankful we can celebrate this anniversary this week!   

What Do You Think?

 I create these blog posts as a way of recording memories for Jim and me;  they become a Blog2Print book at the end of the year.  I do have at times as many as 20 readers but only one or two people ever comment.  So this time, if you are reading this post, please give us some advice in the comments or send me an email.  

As you all probably know we are trying to make a decision about getting on the list for senior housing, a continued care community in our area.    In the last week, we have talked to two younger friends who are concerned about their elderly parents having to pack up and sell a house.  Good for us!  We have done that and done that well.  Our house sold easily and our move went well.  We like our apartment and are relieved not to have the challenges of home ownership any more.  We are very comfortable here and that makes it more difficult to make a change.

So is it time to make the next big step?  It is so much easier not to even think about another move.  But it won't get any easier as we age to adjust to a new way of life.  Is this going to be our next big adventure?  And we have to do it while we are still "independent" or the authorities at the community will not accept us. 

 I would enjoy having a variety of good food available without my having to plan for it or prepare it. Apparently you don't always have to join others in the dining room.  Take-out or ordering at the cafe is an option.   It would be good to have the security of personnel available there if we had a medical emergency or a fall.  There is a cleaning service that is required.  We saw two apartments that were spacious and lovely. 

I'm sure there are lots of good people to meet.  We're probably not very interested in exercise classes or other clubs but who knows?  We are already singing with a group that meets at the community twice a month.  Some programs might be of interest.   (Our grandchildren have given dance programs there.)  A bus provides transportation to our church on Sunday mornings.  There are options for trips to local grocery stores. 

There are big financial decisions to make with various options for buying into the community.  Even if we put down a minimal deposit and get on the list, it could be quite a while until a unit we would like would be available.  

At this point, the way is not clear and the decision is not easy.  Any advice would be welcome!

The Debate

 

I am alone this afternoon while Jim golfs.  I was thinking of a potential blog topic and this cartoon spoke to me.  Tonight is the first and maybe the only presidential debate--early in the process when in reality neither Trump nor Biden are the official choices of their respective parties.

It's like the lure of watching an accident along the side of the road.  The pundits write about the importance of this event--but seem to emphasize the mistakes each man could make.  I asked Jim if he was going to watch it and he said "No."  I probably won't either but I may check out comments and fact-checking as it is going on.  

Supposedly Biden has been at Camp David rehearsing for days.  Trump says he has no need to rehearse although some think he is doing more than he brags of not needing to do.  He has been disparaging the moderators even though he had agreed to these CNN hosts.  He is claiming in vulgar terms that if Biden is energetic, it is because he has taken performance enhancing drugs.

My despair is that I wish neither of these men was running for President.  Trump is a danger and his plans for another term are frightening for our country and for our world.  Biden should have allowed a younger candidate to step in months ago.  How can either one of them have such inflated egos to think that they are the best candidate possible?  And who knows, at their ages, something could still happen to change the whole picture.  Their possible vice-presidential running mates are not reassuring choices either.

I pray nightly for our country and for good leaders.  After tonight, I may add a few thoughts to this blog.  .  I am not optimistic! 

-------------We did not watch the debate.  I only briefly checked the fact checkers and despaired.  Today the pundits say Biden was weak and Trump lied.  It was a nasty debate with both men speaking in a less than civil manner.  They did not shake hands which is not surprising.  Now what?  Some are speaking of Biden's withdrawing and having an open Democratic convention.  I didn't read the same for Trump.  One Facebook friend said what about John Kasich as the Democratic candidate?  Now that would be interesting!  A moderate Republican running as a Democrat!  

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

 I woke up very early one morning last week absolutely overwhelmed by the thought of how much "stuff" we have--even after downsizing five years ago.  I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and started going through a box of organ music in the garage and a drawer full of other organ books in the spare bedroom.  I pulled out books that I could get rid of and emailed Noel Werner, our director of worship at Nassau Church, and asked if he had students that could use my music.  He did and I have a shopping bag ready to drop off at church.  

Then I emailed Katie, our granddaughter, to ask if she would take my mother's silverplate service for 8.  I have my own and don't need two sets.  At one point it was good to have so many pieces to use when we entertained more often but those times are past.  Katie was good enough to say she would take my things so the next time we saw her, we passed on the silver chest and a vase and water pitcher.

I have a bag of books to be donated to the used book sales at our local library but will add more to the pile.  I find it so hard to get rid of books I read and loved.  Maybe I will reread them someday! 

Then best of all was getting rid of the six large glass vases left from Mother's Day or birthday floral gifts which have accumulated over the last few years.  I called Plainsboro Floral and Gift where at least one originated and they were happy to reuse them.  A few days later we dropped them off knowing it's better to "reuse" than to "recycle."

After feeling overwhelmed earlier, I felt very pleased to have made progress in eliminating our possessions.  There is much more to do but I have made a start! 

-------------December 29,  Noel told me he had passed on the music to several students.  One of them played a number for a postlude at church.  Noel said he himself is learning a piece for January 5, 2025.  I am so glad the music found a home.  It was a bit of a sentimental exercise to sort through the books and remember all the times I had played pieces at our church in South Bend. 

Exercise!

 

This is a blog about doing almost nothing.  This cartoon in The New Yorker spoke to me!  Jim is so good about taking his three walks each day and getting at least 10,000 steps.  I am thankful he does so because I want him to live a long time! He encourages me to walk with him to "the ugly tree" down the path next to Mapleton Road if I haven't walked from church or in a grocery store or yesterday to meet my friend Peggy for a chat. 

I try to do my "squats" each Day--which is a crucial exercise for folks like me.   I also do a short routine I found on YouTube for those who limp because of hip problems.  And something is helping relieve my pain--along with my once a day Aleve.

I pay small amounts for Better 5 videos and then don't do them.  I never have liked group exercise classes--the ones I tried at Forever Learning in South Bend didn't work out well for me.  I am thankful for the cane Jim bought for me.  I have made my peace with using it--even in public going to church and the library.  I use it while walking in the house and miss it when I misplace it.  

I find that if I write down those bits of exercise in my "to do list" for the day, it nags at me to do them and then I get to check them off as done!  I know it is essential to keep moving for avoiding heart disease, strokes, diabetes, and all kinds of bad things.  But it is so easy to sit in my "headquarters" as Jim refers to it--the corner of the couch--while on my laptop like posting this or with my volumes to read. 

Grandpa and Grandma VK part II

Yesterday Jim had the excellent experience of a new golf partner--our granddaughter's boyfriend Eli.  They met at the golf course and had a good afternoon of play.  We extended the joy by going out to eat at Mercato's, a family-owned restaurant in nearby Kingston.  

Mercato's is a deli and a very small restaurant.  There is no parking and reservations are absolutely necessary.  We brought our own bottle of wine although we did notice that they sell wine by the bottle, not by the glass..   Katie remembered my golf rule--we will listen to the story of one hole each.  I have observed that golfers could go through all 18 if allowed to do so!  Eli definitely had one to tell us about--a great birdie on number 12.  But there was lots more to talk about and we considered it a great privilege to be able to spend time with our granddaughter and her boyfriend.