Volunteering Update

Our local library has been a source of much delight for years but especially in my retirement now that I have more time to read.  I have requested many new books or books that are located in another branch in the system.  Usually, within a few days, I get a notice and I go right over and get my book.

As I thought about volunteer options, I thought I could give back to the library. This meant an application, an interview, and worst of all, a drug test.  (I blogged about that earlier.)   This morning, I had my third weekly session of work at the Francis Branch very near our home.  The work is pretty routine but that is fine with me.  I gather the books and audio-visual materials from the deposit bins, put them through a scanning machine where they are "inducted" and sorted into twelve carts.  When I finish with that task, I bring the books to specific shelves  that correspond to each cart.  Someone else shelves the books in the library.

Today, for the first time, I found two incoming books that I wanted to check out.  Both of them were serendipitous finds so that felt like my own little reward.

I have also begun helping with the Homebound program at the downtown library.  I selected books and audiotapes for three women who are among the 190 on their list.  This is a more challenging--to find books they have not had and that they might enjoy.

  I continue to tutor one student through Hope Ministries although because she is not homeless, we are meeting at my church, a convenient place for both of us.  I am delighted with her progress in six weeks and so is she.  She says she is beginning to read signs around town and  to read texts on her phone without involving the dictation app immediately.

I resigned from the docent program at the art museums.  I asked for a two month break from playing the organ at church--my first leave in over 24 years!

I am trying to strike a balance between reducing stress and still staying busy and productive.  For now this seems right.

Pray-as-you-go.org

I have appreciated the Irish Jesuit's Sacred Space site over the years and I think that is what introduced me to "Pray as you go."  I started using the site during Lent and have continued to do so through Eastertide.  An app on my iphone makes it very easy to log on.

First there are chimes calling you to prayer.  Then there is music.  Maybe it will be from Taize or Ladysmith Black Mambazo or a monastery choir.  It might be in Latin or it might be in Swahili! Usually it is lovely.

 There are a few statements leading you into the lectionary reading for the day.  "As I enter into prayer now, can I put aside for a moment my pride, ...and place myself humbly into the hands of my God, who knows all my faults and failings and loves me still?"

There is more music and a few more statements guiding your thinking about the passage which was from the First Letter of Peter today.  There is more music and then you listen to the passage a second time.  You are asked  to focus on what is on your mind and how you relate to the passage.  Often it is very personal.  "What particular anxieties are troubling you now, that you can place in God's hands? Why not do that, now?"

All of this is done in a wonderful British or Irish accent.  The post ends with a single voice leading to a chorus of voices: "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen."

My favorite place to do this ten minute prayer is outside on our deck looking up at the trees and listening to the birds.  I recommend giving it a try!

A Birthday Gift

My birthday cake as seen on Nixplay

My birthday is tomorrow.  70 years old.  I need to be grateful and I am--for good health, for Jim and the kids and grand-kids, for friends, for things to do.  But 70 just sounds so old to me!

Yesterday however I had a moment of absolute delight in connection with my birthday.  A cousin at my step-mother's funeral put me in touch with my childhood best friend Judy.  We  had lost touch from maybe age 12 on even though we were in college at the same time and the same place.  I contacted her by email and we have exchanged emails twice now.  I mentioned that I remembered the date of her birthday because that was always a fun day for me.  And to my amazement she sent me birthday greetings this week too.  She remembered my date as well.  It made me happy to renew our friendship--but also to know that date was important to her also!

Jim and I are going out to eat tonight to celebrate--a day early.  I slept well last night and feel great.  That is not always the case and it might not be true tomorrow.  Seize the day!  Carpe diem!  Plus Jim wants to do some demo day for golf tomorrow.  Maybe we'll go out again tomorrow.  We're going to Ruth's Chris tonight--far too expensive but we have a $50 gift certificate for donating to our public radio station.  However, the expiration date said 4/1/16.  Oops.  I called the restaurant and they will honor it--maybe not happily however.  Hope we still get treated well. $50 will only be a start on their menu prices.

What will the next year bring?  Or the next decade?  Will there be big changes in our lives?  Or will we just little by little give up some things--like driving at night or traveling overseas--both of which we are avoiding even now.

Enough pondering.  I will enjoy the celebration today and not think about tomorrow or next year or ten years from now.

Grandma Takes a Drug Test

To volunteer at the St. Joseph County Public Library, you need a police check and a drug test.   I came very close this afternoon to deciding that it wasn't worth the hassle.

Last week I was interviewed by the head librarian and an assistant.  My references were called to see if I worked well with others.  They were taking no chances!   Today I went downtown and signed permission for a police check and a drug test.  The drug test had to be done within 24 hours so I headed out to the Clinic for Occupational Medicine immediately, drinking warmish water out of my water bottle all the way.

The sign on the door of the clinic gave me a clue about what was to come.   " If you are here for a drug test, once you enter, you cannot leave the clinic."  I signed another form and had to relinquish my ID.  I sat in a very spartan waiting room with a noisy TV.  I was definitely the oldest client.   After about 15 minutes,  I was called in, given my ID after they made sure I matched the photo, and was told  to put my purse in a locker and take the key with me.

After all of that, I was a bit intimidated and found it impossible to comply--even for 1/2 inch in a little cup.   I tried to get  psychological help from running water in the sink but the sink was turned off.  Were they worried I would dilute the speciman?

I told the aides that I was ready to forget it.  They said to try again in ten minutes and they would put a basin in the toilet that time.  After another wait, success!

I understand that there are many ways to beat the system with drug testing and that safeguards are necessary.   I will try to take the attitude that it was an interesting experience and a glimpse into another way of life.

 Now to see if I pass!

Making Choices as a Volunteer

The other day Jim was pondering about how he might volunteer his time when he retires.  He will continue to do his research and will spend plenty of hours in the office he will keep at Notre Dame.  He  agreed to teach a seminar in the spring.  But he was thinking about what else would be good to do with more time available.

Since retiring, I have volunteered as a docent at the South Bend Museum of Art and the Snite Museum at Notre Dame and as a tutor at Hope Ministries (a homeless shelter.)  I volunteered as an organist for years before retiring so that doesn't really count in these musings about choices.

5th Graders at SBMA

I have fulfilled my contract with the museums at this point.  Their curators trained the new docents over a four month period and in turn, we actually signed a contract committing to two years of leading tours with a minimum of ten tours each year.  My goal of learning more about our local museums and about art in general has been met.   Do I want to commit to another year?  I don't know.  I don't really look forward to the continued bi-weekly training sessions and I haven't looked forward to taking groups of 5th graders through their Museum Morning tours or 3rd graders through their Jump Start sculpture tours.   However, when the tours are finished, I have satisfaction knowing that the kids were very responsive and the sessions went well.

Tutoring at Hope Ministries is like an extension of my working years but it so much easier with just one student at a time and no paperwork or meetings.   I am using my skills and experience and feel comfortable with the students who have been very responsive and appreciative.   So I will continue to work with the students I have now and when they move on, agree to others.

Playing the organ for church services is a challenge for me.  I enjoy preparing the music but I often lie awake on Saturday night  knowing how much energy and concentration it takes to lead worship. I don't actually worship much on those Sundays when I play.   I know that it is important to lead congregational singing well.  So for now, I need to continue to serve in this way.  There are no other musicians standing in line to take my place!

So if I give up the docent work, what else should I do?  What would be good activities for Jim to do?   It would be nice to do something together.  At one point, we were both "readers" at a local elementary school.  That is an option.  Maybe delivering "Meals on Wheels" or library books to the Homebound.  We don't have handyman skills or much desire to travel for service projects.

Please suggest any ideas in the comments!

A Celebration of a Life of Almost 101 Years

I want to process my thoughts after my step-mother's funeral today.  My step-mother is known to me as Aunt Agnes.  After her husband, my Uncle Jack, died and my own mother died, both at an early age, my father and she married and were married for over 25 years.   In her long life, Aunt Agnes had lived as a child of missionaries among the Navajo Indians in New Mexico, and had worked as a public health and army nurse, a preschool teacher, and a social worker in an adoptive agency.  She had always been active in her churches and missionary organizations. 

Laura and Grandma October 2015

Although we mourned, it was a day of joy.  In fact, as I thought about what to wear, I decided to wear black but with a bright red sweater.  Aunt Agnes loved bright colors and she was dressed in red and black in her casket. I did choke up a bit when I noticed her nails--perfectly manicured and polished as always.

There were a few tears but it was truly a celebration of her life with four generations of descendants there.  With our very blended family we were quite a group, including Aunt Agnes's three biological children, two children from Uncle Jack's first marriage, one foster child, and then my sister and myself.  

Cathy, her second daughter,  gave a lovely tribute to her mother telling of her care and love for all of us.  She even mentioned her mom's praying for “Mary’s disadvantaged students” and I remember that she did.  She recalled her “witnessing” sometimes in ways that embarrassed her kids—a memory of tracts handed out at Tunnel Park (really?)—and her always asking the  manicurist at the beauty school, “Do you  know Jesus as your Savior?”  Cathy thanked Elaine for giving her mom the gift of being in the middle of a busy family for the last 9 1/2 years of her life.  Cathy said, 
  "She had room in her heart, and in her daily emails, for all of us. She prayed for us, and prayed very specifically for her grandchildren that they would find faith in God; that they would find a life's work that was a good fit for their unique gifting; and for them to find a life's partner, and be blessed in their sexual expression!" Cathy added, "Yes, she was frank."  

In his message, grandson and ordained pastor Ben mentioned that loneliness is the biggest problem Harvard researchers found in measuring the quality of life.  Aunt Agnes was not be lonely at Elaine’s.  Ben talked about the love found in families that comforts and the love of God that comforts. 

The funeral was planned by Aunt Agnes down to every detail.  She wanted a floral bouquet that had a Bible and sheaves of wheat and it was beautiful.  The songs were ones she chose; the passages were Psalm 121 and Philippians 4: 4-9.  "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice." Cathy said she chose those words " because it wasn't always easy to rejoice In The Lord, and I think we all know that in our own lives. Life is hard in this world, losses and regrets." Those were the words she wanted to leave with us.  She planned the food—ham on buns, jello squares, potato salad, potato chips, and cake--which we enjoyed in the church basement.

I was especially moved by the many songs we sang.   “10,000 Reasons” is one we sing at our church but when you sing at a funeral it is especially stirring.

And on that day when my strength is failing

The end draws near and my time has come;

Still my soul will sing Your praise unending;

Ten thousand years and then forevermore!

Bless the Lord oh my soul, oh my soul’

Worship His Holy name

Sing like never before, oh my soul

I’ll worship Your Holy name.

And I always treasure the line in “Great is Thy Faithfulness:”  “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.”

Aunt Agnes was an army nurse who enlisted at the end of World War II.  In the final ceremony of the church service, two soldiers in full uniform took the flag from the casket, folded it with great precision and presented it to Jim Stroo on behalf of The President of the United States. Taps were played.  It was very moving.

I felt so proud and honored that Jim was asked to do the committal service at the cemetery. He used suggestions that were made by Elaine’s pastor and the Book of Common Prayer: 

Into your hands, O most merciful Savior, we commend your servant, Agnes VanderMolen.  Ackhowledge, we pray, a sheep of your fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming.  Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints of light. 

And later, We have entrusted Agnes VanderMolen into the hands of God, and now we commit her body to this resting place, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, death to life in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Jim did the honors with great dignity and warmth--although standing in a strong wind blowing the pages of his Bible. 

Before leaving the cemetery, I put my hand on her casket and in that way said a final good-by. 

She is the last of our children's grandparents to die.   Our generation is next.  In fact with Hank’s passing, our generation has already begun to die.  Several of my cousins have lost spouses; two of them have spouses who are suffering from dementia or cancer.  It is sobering.

Funerals can leave me feeling cynical.  But not today.  I really felt a sense of God’s presence in music and word and family and the reality of an afterlife and the hope of the resurrection. 

Will you stay in South Bend?

The view from our three season room

With Jim's upcoming retirement, people are asking if we will stay in South Bend.  The answer is Yes, at least for now.  I wish we could participate more in the lives of our children and grandchildren--all of whom are on the east coast and within two hours of each other.  I think about renting a place there for a month over the holidays or the end of the school year so I could enjoy all the programs and festivities of those times.  At least we make the trip out there more often.  And we do think about a month in a sunny clime come next January.

However we have no plans to move.     Jim looks forward to continuing to have an office at Notre Dame and going into work there regularly.  He has graduate students finishing up and a project he wants to complete soon.  He could work from home more, but he envisions going in each day but without classes to teach and meetings to attend.  Last night he was at a colloquim from 4:30 to almost 7:00.  He might still attend those, but he is not be obligated to do so.

We like our church, the Church of the Savior Christian Reformed Church.    It is hard to imagine wanting to worship anywhere else.  We have always liked our churches but this one is really our family, a community of young and old--mostly young.  We participate in many ways although no longer as elders which is a relief to have others taking that responsibility (even if we are among the "elderly" in our congregation.)

And, this will sound like the old folks that we are getting to be, we like our doctors (Drs. Blechl, Blalog, Hauck, Imes, Rhodes) and our dentist, Daniel White.  A couple of them are getting to be retirement age too--or are at least cutting back on their hours.  But it is so good to have them know us well and to feel we can trust them with our care.  Although we hope we don't have to see the emergency room or patient rooms of St. Joseph Regional Medical Center again, we have had absolutely positive experiences there.

So for the time being, there will be no For Sale sign in front of our house.  In fact, we are working on  some small remodeling projects--an investment in the next few years we hope.