NFL and NBA

I have written only one blog so far this month.  I will probably do one about Christmas celebrations but otherwise there has not been much I have wanted to write about.  

Jim suggested writing about watching TV sports because that is a big part of our lives.  In fact when I complain about seeing the same commercials over and over,  I need to remember that is a result of watching so much TV night after night. 

So what can I say about our TV habits?  I have admired the longevity of Tom Brady and the skill of Baker Mayfield as they have come through in the last few minutes of some exciting games to pull their NFL teams to victory.  I have not admired Aaron Rodgers even if he too has been able to play well for many years because I have resented his refusal to be vaccinated for Covid.  Jim always hopes the games will be played in snowy conditions and we have seen a few where the field is obliterated under a white blanket.  One of the funniest scenes the TV crews loved was of a very creative snowman sitting next to a fan in the bleachers.  

Jim comments on the games and I try to understand what he is saying but much of it is lost on me.  Jim often makes an observation and then the announcers will say the same thing.  I tell him he could have a second career as a sportscaster!  

I like to watch Notre Dame teams play because their players are somewhat familiar to me and their coaches certainly are.  Jim finds it more distressing because he is frustrated when they play poorly.  I try to reassure him that the reputation of the theology department at Notre Dame is not dependent on the football or basketball team's winning seasons but I am not sure he is convinced!  

Sometimes I wonder about the morality of watching such a brutal sport.   Jim said that the Pro Bowl this year is going to be flag football!  I wonder how that will work out but I understand the desire to minimize injuries when so much money depends on staying healthy.   

And that is just football.  We enjoyed watching the Mets in baseball but they are losing so many players that it won't be the same next year.  We haven't really chosen an NBA team.  Last year we were happy to cheer for a few college teams--Rutgers and St. Peter's--who were often on in this local market.  

And then there is golf which Jim enjoys watching--even if the match is over and it's a replay and he knows who won.  I find it pretty dull although it can be relaxing at least.  

I do ask at some point each day what will be on for our viewing pleasure in the evening.  There is always something unlike the early Covid days when there were no live sports.  In our retirement we have plenty of leisure time and it is something we can enjoy together.  

January 5 update:  On Monday night, January 2, Damar Hamlin fell backwards after tackling another player.  He needed CPR and it was administered on the field with the Buffalo Bills players standing around him.  An ambulance took him to a trauma center.  The game was suspended after just six minutes into the game. The crowds went home. Amazingly, three days later, he is "neurologically intact" but still on a ventilator.  He wrote asking if there was a win and was told Yes because his life was a win.  It was such a reminder of how dangerous football is.  

We are Outliving our Teeth

 My mouth has been too much on my mind in the last few weeks.  It started with an ache in the back bottom molar.  After three days of listening to my complaints, Jim encouraged me to call our dentist in the morning.  They had a cancellation and asked if I could be there within an hour.  That didn't give me any time to think about it.  Jim had a phone interview so I had to drive myself which is a rare thing for me.  

After an x-ray I could tell the dentist had bad news.  He said it was an abscess and  I needed a root canal.  I asked about just pulling it out and he said that was an option but then I would need to go to an oral surgeon.  I didn't think about it any further.  I was sitting in his chair and I told him to go for it and do the root canal.  An hour and a half later I paid a "down payment" of $733 and drove home.  We picked up an antiobiotic which I choked down for the next ten days.  The pain was gone. 

I had a followup appointment two weeks later but I got very stressed because I didn't know what was going to happen next.  I didn't want to commit to a crown if I was going to lose the tooth eventually--which he had said could happen.  However, he said that things looked good so we should proceed.  After another hour and $1142 later, I went home with an uncomfortable mouth but no need for more antibiotics.  That night I was emailed follow up instructions.   If the front office had sent such an email after my first appointment, it would have eased a lot of my stress.  Someone probably made a mistake.  Information is helpful! (later--it probably was overlooked because my appointment was an emergency one--the dentist and his assistant will look out for that for others--I was glad I said something)

We don't have dental insurance as such although the office will submit the bill to our  Medicare Advantage insurance and we might get some reimbursed.  I have an appointment for a temporary crown and then they will do a permanent crown.  

I asked what was the cause of the abscess and he said it was probably a crack in an old filling.  There is nothing one can do about that.  Jim has had more than one tooth crack in recent years. His last episode involved an oral surgeon and a bridge which cost well over $3000.   We are getting old and our teeth are not lasting as long as we are.  A positive way of looking at that is we have lived a long life.  But it is uncomfortable and expensive to be spending so much time in a dentist's chair.  

Thanksgiving 2022

 

Fourteen Vanderkam-Conways gathered around a table full of so much good food!   Michael was home from college and James was back from his apartment in Maryland and his first permanent job.  Katie lives in Princeton in graduate student housing so it was an easy trip for her. Laura and Michael were there with their busy family of seven.  Ruth read our traditional Psalm 100 and we all said "God is great" holding hands around the table.  We missed Dan and Alexandra who were flying home from their month in Columbia tonight. 

Ruth had asked if a bunny cake would be appropriate for Thanksgiving as it is has been for Easter.  I looked for a turkey cake idea instead and came up with one from Betty Crocker.   I baked the circle pan and cupcake at home and Ruth and I put them together with lots of frosting.  Henry helped put in the feathers (Pepperidge Farm pirouettes) and candy corn.  We were pleased with the result!   

My other contribution to the fun was the glowsticks which lit up the backyard when we took a break between dinner and dessert.  The kids threw them in the air and they really were magical in their neon colors.  

And now we are home in our apartment and thankful that it is just a ten minute drive away instead of the 13 hour trip it used to be to get together for a holiday.  

Four Days; 1,604 miles apart

I wrote part of a blog and decided it was too introspective to post.  So here is another record of my almost four days alone--a little more suitable for sharing with the few readers I have. 

I did not make a silent retreat.  I chatted with Jim several times.  That was sometimes frustrating especially when he could not hear me and I could hear him just fine.  (update--I suggested that the volume was down on the side of his phone--turning that up helped!) The two hour time difference was tricky. But it was good to be able to talk and even do spelling bee together.  We learned that you can look at the game and chat if you put your phone on speaker.  I can't get to "genius" without Jim! 

Using "divineoffice.org" I did the liturgy of the hours several times--not all day long but at least two or three times a day.  I found it comforting and good company.

Susan asked me if I would like to go out for dinner with both Jim and Jeff out of town.  Katie and I joined Susan at Brickhouse Tavern and Tap on Friday.    I posted a three generation photo on Facebook and it was fun to get the reaction of my Facebook friends.  All three of the men in our lives were on trips out of New Jersey. 

Susan also said they could go to Nassau Church with me on Sunday morning.  I suggested instead going to her church, St. Paul's, and that too was a great break in the solitude.  Jeff helped me with the liturgy and it was good to be there in a congregation packed with people of all ages and good to sing next to my son. 

 My sister was in touch with me a few times which I appreciated.  Every email that came in during these few days was important to me.  

When I was a young and very busy mother I said that the curse of my old age might be solitude because I craved time alone so much at that stage of life.  These four days have not been a curse but I have to admit to being lonely and bored.  I really miss my husband.  The other end of the couch is empty.  The other side of the bed is empty. No one is making comments on the sports I have been watching.  I hope and pray that we are reunited tonight and that we have many more years together. May my next post be one for Thanksgiving--with family and food to be thankful for! 

Going our Separate Ways for a Few Days

Jim is heading to Denver for his annual Society of Biblical Literature convention in a few days.  I have gone with him in recent years and he wanted me to go with him again this year.  I was very reluctant to go and have decided to stay home.  

Why do I not jump at the chance to go somewhere?  I don't want to fly unless it is for a very good reason.  I hope to fly to Florida in January although at times this year that was not a sure thing.  I don't like receptions standing with drinks in hand and trying to chat in noisy rooms. It's hard to find places to eat when there are literally thousands of conventioneers.  We went to Denver a few years ago for the convention and there was not much to do within walking distance there.  Maybe it's the Covid thing as well--having to wear masks and realizing that crowded places are super-spreader events. I'm thinking too that we are not spending the $600 plus for my plane ticket--but we spent more than that for my root canal deposit yesterday.  However, that was not an optional cost! 

If the weather Friday is terrible, who knows?  Jim may still stay home with me.    Travelling with a partner is always easier--with one more set of eyes to find things.  In that way, I feel badly not to help my husband out. 

Being home alone for a few nights and days?  I could get pretty lonely.  I am trying to make some plans.  Susan is on her own one of the days and asked if I wanted to join her for dinner out somewhere.  Absolutely!  I said if she drove, I would pay.  She said that sounded like a deal!  I was thinking of Alex's going on a silent retreat earlier this fall and thought these days could be my silent retreat.  Maybe I could make it a time of a spiritual discipline of reading or listening to the liturgy of the hours.  I found an app to use on my phone for that purpose.  I know I could do that at any time but I might be more motivated when I am alone. 

With Jim's help, I am making sure I know how to do the things he always does around here.   I started the dishwasher yesterday.  I turned the furnace off last night.  Jim asked if my key opened the door without getting stuck and it did.  He wondered if I had cash and we visited the PNC ATM.  There is enough gas in the car.  I had to drive on my own yesterday anyway and that was reassuring--because I rarely do so.  Our newly leased car has its idiosyncrasies and its beeps are a bit unnerving.  Plus it turns off when one brakes--to save gas.  But that too is disconcerting when one thinks the engine has killed every time one comes to a stop.  

I remember years ago being in New York City all alone for several days.  Jim was in Japan as I recall so there was no contact between us.  I felt a bit lost and lonely at first but then began to keep a running commentary in a journal and that made me feel as if there was someone to listen!  I'm sure I'll be writing in my journals again.  And I probably will do another blog to update this stay-at-home adventure.

Jim and I can still chat and text and do Spelling Bee with our iphones even if we are miles apart.  We will be happy to see each other again next Monday.  I hope and pray we can be safely reunited then.

Hosting a Church Small Group

 We have appreciated being members of Lenten small groups at Nassau Church for the last three years.  I have written about that before.  A lasting benefit has been that when we have been worshipping at Nassau the last few weeks in person once again,   it has been good to get over the feeling of being a stranger.

So when Corrie Berg, an assistant pastor who is in charge of education, asked us to lead a group this fall, we thought about it--I prayed about it--and we decided to give it a try.  Our group has now met three times with two more sessions left.  We meet on Tuesday evenings from 7 pm to 8:30 pm.  This week there were eight of us with three missing and calling in their absences.  

Our topic is "The End of the Main Line?"  The question mark is important because not surprisingly, our main line church would like to think optimistically.  We read a Bible passage from Acts and study that briefly.  The following week the sermon is based on that passage.  The first week we studied a Pew research survey on church membership showing declines from 2007 to 2014.  Then we read Fosdick's famous sermon from the 1920s on "Shall the Fundamentalists Win?"  and Martin Luther King's "Letter from a Birmingham Jail."  Our adult education class led by Heath Carter of Princeton Seminary has been based on those readings. There are questions in a guide based on the readings as well as opening questions to help us get acquainted.

Our group includes one person who was christened in our church in the 1960s and one person who joined two weeks ago.  Most of the group are long term members but they don't know each other which is not surprising in such a large congregation.  There are no awkward silences in our discussion.  Everyone has contributions to make.  We have been thankful to have had this opportunity to do something for others in our church and once again, to get to know others better. 

Adventures with Technology

 I had been having issues with my laptop telling me that my connection to wifi was weak and even buffering at times once I was connected.  If I went into Jim's study, the problem was solved so clearly getting closer to the router was the answer.

But the problem was exasperated when we had continual buffering trying to watch NFL on Thursday evenings on Amazon Prime Video on our living room TV.

So we made an appointment using our xfinity app and met with a young man at the xfinity store at Mercer Mall last Friday.  He gave us a new router with more speed (and only $3 a month more) and a new box for the bedroom TV.  He sent us off with what we consider scary words, "It's very easy to hook them up."  

Jim began the process and almost immediately I lost all wifi connections.  The "vanderkam" option was gone. I felt lost without my connection to the world out there! It was almost a panicky feeling! 

 As it turned out, something got unplugged accidentally.  Jim patiently worked on setting up the new router.  When it asked for a cord that we didn't have, he boldly skipped that step.  And...amazingly the connection worked and my laptop is connecting far better even in the room far from the router.  Now the test will be Thursday evening.  Can we watch the big game without the buffering?

Jim also hooked up the new box and remote in the bedroom so we can get more channels there.  And that too is working just fine! 

I give my husband a great deal of credit for staying patient and following directions.  I give xfinity credit for good instructions for the most part.  

October 29:  Thursday night football was still buffering.  We watched on Jim's laptop instead of our large TV.  Susan suggested a firestick.  Maybe that will be our next step.  

Meanwhile Susan helped Jim set up Adobe Acrobat Reader because Oxford University Press said that is what he has to use to look at the page proofs of his R H Charles manuscript.  She skillfully downloaded it and gave him instructions in how to use it.  To be continued...!