Grandpa and Grandma VK

 

Heather Cox Richardson in her Memorial Day post pointed out that when a serviceman died, the potential for generations after him died with him.  It made me think about my dad's coming home after 1 1/2 years in Europe during WWII and my coming into this world 9-10 months later.  And because he came home safely, I was born, and then Jim and I had three children and those children brought eight grandchildren into the world.  Generations--and may there be more to come.  It would be a blessing and a joy to see great-grandchildren come into this world but I know we will have to wait for that!

We moved to the East coast to be able to participate more in the lives of our children and grandchildren.  Saturday Laura was coming to Princeton to do the P-rade of Princeton alumni.  She wanted to bring A and R with her and wondered if they could be with us for the afternoon.  Susan and Jeff invited all of us for a cookout lunch on their deck.  They drove Laura into town and we brought A and R home with us.  I had been a bit concerned about entertaining them for the afternoon and had asked Laura to bring along a deck of cards.  I researched how to play Spoons--and it came back to me easily enough. But we never got to Spoons.  That will be saved for another time. 

 A had plans of his own.  He entertained us with a card magic trick and then a mind-reading trick.  R followed with her version of the card trick.  I was amazed at their cleverness and confidence!  I asked R to play Scrabble with me.  We had a great game in which I was ahead at first and then it was a tie and Ruth pulled it out to win at the end!  R and I made brownies--she said that she loves to bake and we both loved to eat those treats! Jim got both children to take short walks with him to the recycling bin and the mail room--his usual jaunts.  A  child's perspective is always interesting.  A asked Jim how we can find our own apartment when they all look alike.  Apartment living is definitely not a part of his life!  His oldest brother, now 17, can remember apartment living in NYC--but that was far different than ours--on the 34th floor of a skyscraper.  

I was surprised when Laura called to say she was on her way to pick up her children and head for home. The afternoon had gone so quickly!

Tonight we hope to leave our place around 5 in order to get to Black Rock Middle School's spring band concert.  Both R and S will be in their grade level bands and both are in auditioned jazz bands.  It's an hour's drive from here if there was minimal traffic but we don't count on that. More to come on this post after we get home tonight.  

-----------May 31.  There was NOT minimal traffic and we barely made it in time to the school in order to make a quick bathroom stop and get into the seats Laura had saved before the concert started.  R played in the 6th grade band numbers and even introduced one of them.  S played in the 8th grade numbers.  They both played in the competition jazz band numbers.  It was a joy to hear the concert and to be able to support our grandchildren's musical talents and hard work. 

When we got into the car, I turned on my cell phone and checked my email and Facebook--and to my complete surprise and joy, Trump was found guilty on all 34 counts by the NY jury.  More on that later today because it is a historic moment and a very troubling one. We were home by 10 pm. 

A Visit to Stonebridge

 

I have not had much to write about lately.  However, yesterday could be a day on which we will look back as being very important.  We met with Elise Hug, a sales coordinator at Stonebridge, a senior living community.  She has had email contact with Jim for a few years but we had not met her.  Rather than going to another group information meeting, Jim asked her to meet individually with us to answer our questions.

She began our time together by showing us two apartments, the Pennington and the Somerset.  Both were what we would request--two bedrooms plus a nook or den so that Jim could have a study.  We were very impressed with how spacious and bright the apartments looked.  Yes, there was a washer and a dryer.  Yes, the kitchen appliances were full sized.  There was good closet space and even a little screened-in porch. 

 We had questions about medical concerns.  There is a nurse on the premises and options for urgent care.  There is security if one falls or needs help quickly.  Some doctors come to appointments on site.

Plus the meal plan is enticing! A point system enables you to choose when you want to use their meals.  I don't understand the cafe option or the dining hall option but that we could figure out when and if we sign up. 

Elise explained a bit more about the options of traditional and refundable fees and also the difference for Lifecare options in which your rates for the next level of care do not increase.  Making these financial decisions is a challenge and a gamble because of course one cannot predict what the next years will bring.  She stressed that even as one goes on the wait list, there would be at least a two month process to get in.  And that not that many units come up as available. 

 We know that we have to be in good health and "independent" to be accepted as well as to meet financial criteria.  So far we think we would be OK in both accounts.  

So how do we know what we should do? We really like our lovely apartment here at Barclay Square.  We learned that New Jersey law says that one can break a lease to move into senior continued care housing.  That was news to us and good to know as we have just signed a lease until July 2025.  It was also good to learn that as expensive as buying into Stonebridge would be, there are tax benefits with deductions one can take. 

It is so much easier to stay right where we are and not face the stress of a move.  Fortunately we have downsized once five years ago.  Jim mentioned the challenge of getting to know another community which does not threaten me although I do wonder how you find dining partners night after night.  Jim did ask that if he moved to Stonebridge, would I join him and I heartily agreed.  So whatever we do, at this point we can do it together!  

In Praise of Facebook

 

Today is Mother's Day.  Jeff and Susan sent a beautiful bouquet a few days ago.  Laura sent greetings this morning with a text photo of her and R in Paris--with a group of other mothers and daughters; they plan to hear a Taylor Swift concert. Dan and Alexandra called this evening and did Facetime with us from their home in the Catskills.

 We didn't make it to church this morning because it was cold and rainy and easier to do Livestream when we have a several block walk from the municipal parking lot. So it is a bit of a melancholy day home alone with Jim--and grateful for his presence with me at least! 

On impulse when Facebook sent me a memory of a photo Susan posted in 2019 of Jim and me and baby Jeff, I shared it to my FB Feed with the caption "A long, long time ago I became a mother."  

That post has generated many likes and loves and so many comments that I added another comment saying "This is why I don't give up on Facebook.  On a rainy afternoon in Princeton, New Jersey, those comments bring me joy and connections!"

There is a comment from one of my 5th grade students (my first year of teaching) I had mentioned in an earlier blog, "That's my teacher!" There are several comments from high school friends and one from a Harvard student housing friend remembering how we hung out diapers together.  Neighbors from Raleigh remembered us.  A friend from our church in South Bend wondered when he first saw the photo if it was of "Weather Underground leaders re-emerging after years on the lam."  A couple of former Family LIteracy students commented.  Other friends from our South Bend church said they missed us!  Many wished me a Happy Mother's Day.

My heart is warmed to think of friends from each era in our lives--and the opportunity to keep up contacts with them that Facebook provides.  

Going to Church This Morning

 

I will praise you, Lord,  in the assembly of your people. Psalm 22: 26a

This was the phrase from the lectionary I chose this afternoon for my lectio divina.  It was especially appropriate for today and I will meditate on it again briefly before bedtime.

It is easier to stay home on Sunday mornings and do Livestream worship.  Last week we were on the road with Jeff and Susan heading to DC so we were not at Nassau Church.  But this week we needed to be back in the pews.

Jim dropped me off in front of church so I didn't have to make the trek from the municipal parking garage. I made the much shorter walk without my cane or Jim's arm.  I found a seat in the sanctuary and Jim was next to me before the service started.

I am always happy to sing with the congregation--not alone with the recorded service.  Our associate pastor Lauren McFeaters had a powerful sermon about God's love and our love.  It is clear that her week involves needy parishioners--and I too have asked her for counsel on occasion.

But it was after church that I was reminded that we have become a part of a fellowship.  We chatted with our long-time friends, the Moorheads.  Our lead pastor Dr. Davis came up to bring greetings from Neal Plantinga with whom he had spent time at a preaching conference at Calvin College.  He had a couple of stories to relate, one of which included my emailing Neal to suggest he listen to Dr. Davis's sermon when he had quoted Neal's book on Gratitude. He gave me credit for Neal's saying in the presence of other pastors that his were the podcasts he listened to--I know he felt affirmed and I felt I had a part in that!

And then there is little Kingsley whose toddler smiles welcome us each week--the smiles we would never enjoy via Livestream!  And pastor Lauren greeted me with a hug on our way out of church. 

We are no longer strangers in a big church.  Jim and I have put out an effort to meet people by joining small groups several times and even leading small groups twice.  I have tried to thank musicians and pastors by emails when something has particularly touched my heart and life. 

We miss our church in South Bend where we knew everyone and were very involved in worship and the lives of many there.  But we are thankful to be a part of the "assembly of your people" here too.   

The GW Jazz Band

 

It was an adventure for two 78 year olds and definitely outside our usual routines.  Yesterday Jeff and Susan dropped us off at an alley in Georgetown and we lined up outside the door of Blues Alley Jazz Cafe waiting for the doors to open at 6 pm.  By the time the doors were opened, there was a long line and we filled up the small venue completely.  The waiters did their best to take drink orders and then food orders.  We were not optimistic that they could feed all of us but they did amazingly well.  I enjoyed a spicy shrimp and grits and Jim had an even spicier Cajun chicken--New Orleans food for a blues venue.

The show began at 7.  We were told that they were a "listening" venue so to keep the conversation to a minimum during the performance.  Our grandson Michael played the trombone and we were so pleased to see that he was featured in several numbers --and he was terrific. The most memorable number for me was the familiar "Summertime" in which the soloist and Michael alternated lines.  

I

After an 8 am start to our day, we were home shortly after noon.  It took us well over a half hour just to get out of Washington DC with all the folks starting their work day.  It was great again to have Jeff and Susan in charge of the plans and the travel--especially navigating the crowded streets of DC.

Now it is back to our ordinary lives again after two adventures.  That is just fine.  We are thankful for our ordinary lives. 

A Birthday Celebration

 Last week was one of two important doctors' appointments for Jim.  Because this blog is primarily created for our own memories, I will mention our relief in that both went well and Jim got good news twice.  We are grateful and don't take such news for granted at our age! 

Yesterday was my birthday.  Laura and Michael sent a beautiful bouquet that arrived on Saturday in time for me to enjoy it for a day.  Jeff and Susan picked us up on Sunday morning and we headed to James' apartment near Baltimore, Maryland.  It was fun to see his studio apartment with a great view from the 9th floor.  We had a substantial brunch at a nearby hotel and then headed on to Washington DC.  Jeff and Susan warned us that the next few miles into the city were often congested with traffic and so they were--even on a Sunday afternoon.  

We checked into the Courtyard by Marriot Bonvoy hotel right next to the George Washington University campus. Around  4:30 we left for the Lisner  Auditorium where Michael was playing his trombone with the GW wind ensemble.  The concert was the final one for the graduating seniors so they were each mentioned by name with their majors and their plans.  Two more years and Michael should be one of them!  It was a lively concert with contemporary music.     

We drove into Arlington, Virginia--our fourth state for the day plus the District of Columbia.  We ate at an Outback Steakhouse and dined well.  Jim and I were thankful that Susan was driving and we did not have to negotiate traffic or routes.  

It was a typical restless first night in a motel for me but we were ready by 9 am to have Jeff drop Susan and Jim and me off at Founding Farmer's Restaurant for another brunch.  Jeff went on to work--a video conference at Fort Meade--in which he has to participate in person because of the security demanded in his work.  Afterwards. the three of us at my suggestion walked to the White House but we could not get much of a glimpse of it through the trees.  It was a good long walk for me with my cane but I made it with a couple of sit-downs.

A bit more about my birthday.  Jeff and Susan made a framed portrait commemorating the eclipse event of last weekend and gave it to me.  Dan and Alex called.  My sister and a few friends sent emails.  I felt celebrated!  Jim and I will celebrate together when we get home--an ice cream cake is a traditional treat. So it was an unusual birthday and a good one!

Solar Eclipse--Mirror Lake Inn, Lake Placid, NY

Susan, our daughter-in-law,  had asked if we would like to join them for a total eclipse experience.   She made all the arrangements and she and Jeff drove their van.   We had our own travel agent and guides!

We left around 11 am on Saturday and stopped briefly to visit with Dan and Alex at their home in the Catskills.  As we neared Lake Placid, the roads got narrow and twisty and there was snow everywhere on the ground.  It was like being in a totally different climate zone from our home in Princeton. 

Room 733 at the Inn was lovely with an amazing view of Mirror Lake and snow-capped hills.    Susan chose a location keeping in mind that if there was cloud cover or rain, we would still have a great destination. And she was right!

 After we arrived, Jeff and Susan picked up a pizza order  on Main Street and Jim got a few beers in the lounge downstairs.  We watched NCSU lose to Purdue and Connecticut beat Alabama. 

On Sunday morning Susan and I walked to St. Eustace Episcopal Church for the 10 am service.  It was quite a walk for me with my cane--the first time to use it in a public place.  I was not pleased to see that no one had cleared snow off the steps to the church.  We walked up the hill and found a side entrance.  The windows in the church were memorable.  It was a treat to worship with my daughter-in-law.

Sunday afternoon we watched USC beat Iowa in a great game with two stars-Caitlin Clark of Iowa and Camilla Cardoso of USC.  We walked to an Italian restaurant and enjoyed an excellent meal including tiramisu.  

Monday was the big day!   Jeff and Susan staked out a place on the beach and put up chairs and Susan's tripod and camera.  Jim and I went outside around 2:00.  There were many other hotel guests nearby but it wasn't crowded.  It was very dramatic as we followed the sequence of the moon passing over the sun.  The weather definitely got cooler. The moments of totality around 3:25 were so amazing that it brought tears to my eyes.  People cheered.  And then suddenly it was over and the light came back on! At totality the hills were black and people were shadows against the lake.  What a memorable experience! 

The moment of totality

Mirror Lake is aptly named.

from the Washington Post

Susan was the photographer.