A Lady of Many Years Reminisces

 Lithub shows up in my email daily and I often enjoy reading about authors and books.  Yesterday's email featured Milman Parry and his original work about finding Homer's oral tradition.  I sent it on to our children because my Harvard job the first year of Jim's graduate work was in the Milman Parry collection at Widener Library.  I wrote to them of the difficulty of typing Serbo-Croatian manuscripts.  

Our son-in-law Michael wrote back about the tragic demise of Milman Parry at age 33 because of an accidental gunshot when he was unpacking a suitcase.  How could I not have known that?  In my vague recollection, I think I thought he was a much older man and don't remember anyone talking of that tragic death.   To me he was a mythical figure whose name was on the door.  I don't think his successors ever mentioned that sad ending to his life. 

Scott's Corner
Conservation
Area

But this brought back a flood of other memories that I will record.  I hesitated to write any more to our kids last night.   But maybe these memories are worth recording of a time when we were young and life was much different and certainly had different anxieties particularly of finances.

We arrived in Somerville, Massachusetts in the fall of 1972 for Jim's first year of graduate school at Harvard.   We had a six month old baby and some money in savings thanks to Jim's Fulbright year in Scotland and the fact that I unexpectedly worked that year as well--as a "assistant music mistress" at St. Leonard's School which sounds more important than it was.  I taught sixteen little girls to play the piano.

I needed a job that fall.  I remember applying at a convenience store down the road.  When I asked if they ever had robberies, they told me that it might not be the right job for me if I asked a question like that.  I agreed and did not apply further!  I think I remember being hired by Baskin-Robbins at a nearby shopping area but I know I was never trained or began work.   

My next move was to Harvard's employment office where I was told they had no part-time jobs available.   I still took a typing test and when I was finished, I had done well enough that suddently there were two jobs for which I could interview.  Should I credit my father for that skill?  I know he discouraged me from taking a second year of algebra in high school and encouraged a second year of typing "so that you could always get a job!"   I would not have become a mathematician but the feminist in me never quite got over that advice!

Professor Albert Lord (writer of the classic The Singer of Tales) hired me to work five afternoons a week in the office in Widener Library.  I answered the phone, typed manuscripts, and filled out forms.   One of my first days on the job, I dropped an IBM typewriter head and it broke!  (It might have been worth a week's wages) I was dismayed but no one got upset with me.  In fact, Professor Lord later told me that it was good to have someone with some intelligence working for them--even if no secretarial experience!  I used to have fantasies of going into the financial floors of Harvard with the forms which I struggled to complete and blowing a fan to scatter papers everywhere!

I lasted a year and then applied for a teaching position in the Newton Public Schools as a tutor of the "perceptually handicapped."  (what we now would call learning disabled or dyslexic)  I was accepted into the six week training program with no assurance of a job at the end. With great confidence and foolhardiness, I quit the Harvard job.  Much to my relief, the head of the Newton program told me after two weeks that he would hire me.  I had a good increase in my hourly wage and a job that I liked.  The training in that program was of value to me for the rest of my career when I tutored children privately and later taught many adults who had struggled in school.  

Strange how one notice can trigger so many memories!  I am indulging myself in recording them!

------------May 14 The biography of Milman Parry was reviewed today in the WSJ with more information about Albert Lord and his trip with Parry in Yugoslavia in the 1950s. I remember the names of the Slavic poets and seeing the metal discs with the tapes inside.

A Birthday Week

 Last week Wednesday was my birthday--and it was a "milestone" birthday.  When my grandparents were this age, I thought they were really, really old.  Sometimes I do feel pretty old but usually find it hard to believe that Jim and I are both so "full of years."

I posted and deleted one blog about my birthday.  It incorporated Jim's guest post on Laura's Facebook page.  He was so dear as to write a long (very long for social media!) piece and ask Laura to tag my friends so they could see it.  I don't put my birthday on Facebook but this way I was "outed."   I had copied and pasted it on this blog and then decided that having it on Facebook and on Laura's blog was enough.  I saved it however for my own private journal so I can look at it and feel affirmed any time!  It was a bit embarassing and humbling but it was a very original birthday idea and I appreciated his words immensely. 

Even though I deleted one blog post, I do want to remember the highlights of last week because it was an unusual one in this time of isolation.  The week began when our friends the Moorheads treated us for a birthday coffee at PJ's in Kingston on Monday morning.  We sat outside and it was a lovely visit.  The Moorheads were our friends from Raleigh days and it has been great to be reunited with them here in Princeton.

Then on Tuesday we drove to Spring Lake, New Jersey where we spent the night at The Breakers, a resort hotel right on the ocean.  We walked around the town looking at the large and luxurious homes.   The best part of our stay was eating at the hotel restaurant, the first time we had eaten out since October. It was wonderful to be waited on and enjoy a meal with a view of the ocean.  As my birthday treat, I decided we did not need to share a dessert as we usually do and I indulged in a very chocolate molten cake with ice cream.  

After breakfast in the hotel dining room the next morning, we headed home--only a hour's trip.  We can make that trip to the shore more often! 

Jim's post on Facebook was the gift that kept on giving as many friends made comments and sent me birthday wishes.  

Laura and her family sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers and Dan and Alex called via Facetime.  On Saturday we went to Jeff and Susan's for a birthday cookout.  It is so nice that the weather is warm enough that we can do that again.  Katie and Eli gave me another bouquet of tulips and  had picked up some very decadent cupcakes for a birthday treat.  Susan gave us both memorable hugs--saying that we can do that again now that we are fully vaccinated.  

I can't help but wonder what the next year will bring.  I hope it will be healthy and happy.   We have greater optimism about being able to deal with the threat of Covid than we did a year ago. We were able to see family and to eat in a restaurant.  We continue to be careful about mask wearing and avoiding gatherings but hope we will be able to avoid serious infection.  

A Litany of Thanksgiving

Jim dropped me off at the entrance to Barclay Square so I had a head start on my walk to the "grotto" along the canal.  As I walked down the path, I found myself thanking God that I could put one foot in front of the other.  And then I thought about being thankful that I could take a shower this morning and wash my hair--a task I don't like but the day may come when others will have to do it for me.  And then I thought that I could shake my dark mood by writing a litany of thanksgiving.  So I sat on "my" bench at the grotto and enjoyed the quiet and lovely surroundings and was very thankful for a time of peace.

I was thankful for:

watching one skiff after another on Lake Carnegie.  I could feel the soreness in my muscles as the rowers pulled those oars. 

seeing five leaping fish in the canal or was it one fish leaping five times?

noticing the smoothness of the water contrasting with the ripples a few feet away

hearing birds chirping and work vehicles beeping in the distance

anticipating Jim's return after golf and drinking wine together for our happy hour

praying (listening) with Jim as he thanks God before our meal (even if it is just hotdogs tonight)

sleeping so well last night

losing maybe eight pounds since a high of a to be unnamed amount

 having a way to record my thoughts and preserve them

living in a lovely place inside and outside

being able to pay the rent (as our lease is ready to renew)  and pay the taxes that are due without great concern for our finances

using sacredspace.ie on my phone to help me give me some perspective ("Fill my spirit with your peace and joy.")

I will add a few photos and post my litany and be thankful that the sadness has lifted.

Relief and Rejoicing

Jim saw his urologist on Tuesday and had blood drawn for another PSA test. That was his 4th one since finishing radiation for prostate cancer. The previous ones were all good, low numbers. In January however, we struggled for days to get the results. They were not on his "portal" and the office aide gave him a number that didn't make sense. It took well over a week to get the information we wanted. This time however, the number was up on his portal within 48 hours and it was good! We were so relieved and thankful. 

 I had been waiting for some lab results as well--not as concerning as Jim's--but I too was relieved to hear they were "borderline" and I just need to keep avoiding carbs and sweets. I had lost five pounds and I can and should lose more.

 For both of us, we don't need to check in with more labs for six months instead of three or four months. I feel like we are given a reprieve. Who knows what else could happen in the next six months? Last year who would have known that we would be seeking out vaccines to prevent a terrible disease? Or at our age, what else could deteriorate in our bodies? But for now, we are so relieved. 

 I am going to plan a trip to the Jersey shore for a few days. We will be going to the Catskills for a wedding celebration for a friend in June and hope to see Dan and Alex then as well. Next fall we are planning to spend six weeks in South Bend when Jim has been recruited to teach a seminar at Notre Dame. We can see family and friends in the area. I am determined to see Lake Michigan again--maybe even a few days in South Haven. We can worship in "our church" in South Bend. We are not sorry we have made the big move to Princeton but there is much we have missed back in the Midwest. 

 With our vaccinations done and our labs coming back with good numbers, we can make plans. And part of the fun of traveling is making plans.

Henry is Baptized (one year later)

Henry was supposed to be baptized in March 2020 but the Covid pandemic cancelled all live church services.  One year later, today, Palm Sunday 2021, we celebrated Henry's baptism in a "Family Service" outdoors covered by a big white tent in front of Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church.  It was raining hard and it was not warm but it was a beautiful service anyway.   

It was the first time in a year that we sang a hymn with other voices.  That in itself made it a beautiful service!   We had palm branches to wave and we sounded our "Hosannas!"  The liturgy and sermon were short with the baptism at the end of the service.   Uncle Jeff was there representing his family.  Henry, no longer a babe in arms, was happy throughout.  

Rachel Pedersen, the pastor in charge, gave J a part in saying the Apostles' Creed.  R poured the water from the pitcher into the font. The whole family gathered around.   Michael and Laura made their promises and as family members, we too were asked to promise to nurture Henry in faith. 

I am filled with thanksgiving to witness another baptism in our family and to know that Laura and her family are a part of a church community that will support their vows.  

We had lunch afterwards and then headed home for just an hours' ride instead of the 12 or 13 hour ride we would have had after previous baptisms. 

No Regrets (or Maybe Just a Few)

 

A path to the canal

Yesterday I was looking over one of my favorite NYT sections from the Sunday paper which arrives on Saturday here in Princeton--the Real Estate section.  I look at the pied a terre ads and think about how much I would enjoy a little place in the city from which to head out on my adventures walking in the neighborhoods or visiting the museums.  But that is a dream that will never take place.  Once the threat of Covid is over, I can still go into the city by train and stay in a hotel and do my big city wanderings.  I don't need to own a place.  Much simpler and cheaper to stay in a hotel! We have enjoyed being renters and not having the responsibilities of home ownership any more. 

But that made me think about other dreams I have had that probably or definitely will not take place.  Travel dreams come to mind in particular.   I actually once had a place reserved for a Greek island cruise that included Patmos but I backed out of it.  Later I was not sorry when I realized that seeing Patmos from a cruise ship would be an exercise in crowd control.  I think that if I ever got to see those white buildings on Corfu or the other islands,  I would feel as if I had been there before because of the many photos I have seen.  The same goes for Cinque Terre along the Italian coast--a place I have visited with Rick Steves more than once.

I don't know why I think I want to see the Grand Canyon.  I loved seeing Bryce Canyon but when I walked even a few steps down into the canyon, I thought I might have to crawl back up the path because my acrophobia kicked in hard!  

I asked Jim if there were any dreams he had that were unfulfilled and he mentioned dunking a basketball.  Well, that is a different kind of dream and he is right.  That will not happen in his lifetime.  He said he might like to spend enough time in Israel so that he could be able to speak Hebrew which he reads easily and does so daily.  But he is not seeking out such opportunities.

I hope I can take NJ Transit into NYC again--maybe even in the next several months.  I hope we can make another Florida trip or other warm weather destination next year.  Next November should be a trip to San Antonio for Jim's annual convention which we hope will not have to be virtual again.  On a more limited scale,  I will be happy to head to the Jersey shore for a few days in April and maybe another trip to the Catskills again for a friend's wedding celebration in June and to see Dan and Alex while we are in the area.  And they hope to have a celebration of their own wedding possibly next fall. 

 With our vaccines done, we can begin to hope to branch out a bit more.  I don't have big regrets about what is left undone.  We have done lots of travel and I have many memories of good times.  

A Year Later

 March 2020--the WHO labeled Covid 19 as a "pandemic." It's been more than a year now that we have been worshipping at home on Sunday mornings, doing choir "gatherings" on Zoom instead of rehearsals at church, wearing masks,  avoiding errands, and getting take-out meals instead of eating in restaurants. All of this seems somewhat normal for now.  I have a desire to summarize the year and I really do not know how to do so.  Maybe my desire is a wish for closure but there is no closure yet.

Instead I could record the new normal for this week--for the first few days gone by and what is to come.  

Sunday morning sitting on our sofa, we attended a wonderful adult church school class that had been videotaped earlier in the week.  Dr. Shane Berg, professor of New Testament at Princeton Seminary, sits across from Dr. Dave Davis, our pastor at Nassau Presbyterian Church and discusses the gospel lectionary for the week.  This Lenten season the gospel is from John with a theme of "Presence in Absence."  Dr. Berg presents the history of scholarship on the passage and the two of them talk about how to make that relevant for preaching.  It's a 20 minute glimpse into a process that follows up on our Lenten small group discussion earlier in the week and leads into better focused listening to the sermon that follows.

We worshipped via a livestreamed service from the Nassau Church sanctuary.  We followed the service via a pdf of the bulletin and sang along with the hired choir section leaders who lead us in the hymns.  Sometimes we have communion participating with our crackers and water.  This past week we had a congregational meeting after church via Zoom in which we voted "Yes" to a 2% bonus for the clergy by raising our hands--clearly shown on the screen.

At least live sports are back on TV unlike last spring so Jim watched the Players tournament recalling his memorable play one time on the Sawgrass course and then lots of NBA basketball.  The NCAA brackets were posted and for the first time in decades Duke is not in the tournament.  They missed the ACC tournament due to Covid issues as well. 

Most weekdays pass by with nothing to record.  I try to take a walk listening to "Pray as You Go" on my iphone app as part of my Lenten discipline.  We eat a light lunch as part of my efforts to lose weight.  Sometimes it is a yogurt smoothie. Jim has his work which this week involves reading a doctoral dissertation (one of his last ND students is defending in April) and starting research for his new project on the Second Temple.  I read lots and look for more to read.  

Tuesday is my day for Bible study Zoom meetings.  I meet with 6-8 women from our church in South Bend.  I  love seeing their faces and it is so good for me to think about other people's concerns as we share prayer requests.  Tuesday evening is our Lenten small group from Nassau Church.  We are about ten of us on the Zoom screen.  We are led by two young seminarians and we always begin with an "ice breaker" which can take quite a bit of time as each one tells his or her story.  

Wednesday has meant another Zoom meeting at one pm because I signed up for a ThinkND four week course on  sacred music led by J.J. Wright.  I remember J.J. as a conducting student when I sang in a rehearsal choir at ND several years ago and it is fun to see him taking charge of this course and leading the Folk Choir. There will be no Nassau Church "choir gathering" tonight because there is a church wide hymn sing on Zoom instead.  I don't know if we will participate.

Thursday is usually my day to practice the organ for an hour at the Kingston Presbyterian Church but tomorrow I will not practice because it will be a red-letter day for us, I hope!  We are scheduled for our second vaccine--me at 8 am, Jim at 9:45 am.  This will mean a very early start for our 56 mile trip to Rowan College in Gloucester County.  Getting this vaccine will not make a big difference in how we live at first at least but I will feel so relieved to have the process over.   As I have written more than once, there was a lot of stress in getting an appointment.  Jim emailed with someone in Ottawa, Canada this am who is having even more difficulty.  So we are thankful we were able to be this far along in the process.

Friday we have no plans.  We may have some side effects from the second dose.  Many people do have chills and fever and aches.  We shall see.  It is supposed to be a sign that the immune system is working the right way! 

Friday night we always watch Washington Week on PBS for a 30 minute talk show about the news of the week. 

 Saturday is our pancake, or for me, waffle day and then a grocery shop at McCaffrey's. We wear our masks and try to avoid being close to other customers.  The cashiers are behind plexiglass shields.  The shelves are full unlike some times last year when there were shortages.

 Saturday has also meant a curbside pickup of my requested books at the Princeton Public Library.  Jim parks the car in the alley and I go up to the doors where there is a librarian waiting to get my books.  What a great service!  

And that is a pandemic week.  I revel in any emails I receive or phone calls.  Sometimes it is a Facetime call which is how Dan and Alex keep in touch.  

We think about what we may do after we are vaccinated  but we will probably not fly anywhere distant.  I hope we can see more of our children and grandchildren.  I'd like to eat in a restaurant again.  I hope Jim can give his presidential address at the Society of Biblical Literature in San Antonio in November in person. We might go to the Jersey shore for a few days in April to see the ocean and the sand--a change of venue in a beautiful place would be lovely.  We both have bloodwork to be done in the next two weeks so I would like to be relieved about those results so we can go on a mini-vacation feeling more carefree. "Carefree" has not been the word that comes to mind to summarize the last year!  

--------------------It's Saturday afternoon and the first day of spring.  The huge pile of snow by our garage has melted.  I bought pansies today and put them in a larger pot on our deck.  We went for a walk through the fields to the canal. 

We have had no side effects from our vaccines other than a sore injection site.  We stayed "hydrated" as we were advised to do.  Maybe that helped.  Although this was our third trip to Rowan College, I put the wrong campus into my iphone and we were lost!  By asking a passer-by and putting Rowan College of South Jersey into my phone again, we got on the right track.  We were a bit late for my 8 am appointment--although early for Jim's 9:45 am appointment, but no one seemed to notice or care.  The process went smoothly again--maybe even better than our first vaccine.  We are very thankful to have the vaccinations done and are eager to have our children and grandchildren vaccinated as well.