My other contribution to the fun was the glowsticks which lit up the backyard when we took a break between dinner and dessert. The kids threw them in the air and they really were magical in their neon colors.
And now we are home in our apartment and thankful that it is just a ten minute drive away instead of the 13 hour trip it used to be to get together for a holiday.
I did not make a silent retreat. I chatted with Jim several times. That was sometimes frustrating especially when he could not hear me and I could hear him just fine. (update--I suggested that the volume was down on the side of his phone--turning that up helped!) The two hour time difference was tricky. But it was good to be able to talk and even do spelling bee together. We learned that you can look at the game and chat if you put your phone on speaker. I can't get to "genius" without Jim!
Using "divineoffice.org" I did the liturgy of the hours several times--not all day long but at least two or three times a day. I found it comforting and good company.
Susan asked me if I would like to go out for dinner with both Jim and Jeff out of town. Katie and I joined Susan at Brickhouse Tavern and Tap on Friday. I posted a three generation photo on Facebook and it was fun to get the reaction of my Facebook friends. All three of the men in our lives were on trips out of New Jersey.
Susan also said they could go to Nassau Church with me on Sunday morning. I suggested instead going to her church, St. Paul's, and that too was a great break in the solitude. Jeff helped me with the liturgy and it was good to be there in a congregation packed with people of all ages and good to sing next to my son.
My sister was in touch with me a few times which I appreciated. Every email that came in during these few days was important to me.
When I was a young and very busy mother I said that the curse of my old age might be solitude because I craved time alone so much at that stage of life. These four days have not been a curse but I have to admit to being lonely and bored. I really miss my husband. The other end of the couch is empty. The other side of the bed is empty. No one is making comments on the sports I have been watching. I hope and pray that we are reunited tonight and that we have many more years together. May my next post be one for Thanksgiving--with family and food to be thankful for!
Why do I not jump at the chance to go somewhere? I don't want to fly unless it is for a very good reason. I hope to fly to Florida in January although at times this year that was not a sure thing. I don't like receptions standing with drinks in hand and trying to chat in noisy rooms. It's hard to find places to eat when there are literally thousands of conventioneers. We went to Denver a few years ago for the convention and there was not much to do within walking distance there. Maybe it's the Covid thing as well--having to wear masks and realizing that crowded places are super-spreader events. I'm thinking too that we are not spending the $600 plus for my plane ticket--but we spent more than that for my root canal deposit yesterday. However, that was not an optional cost!
If the weather Friday is terrible, who knows? Jim may still stay home with me. Travelling with a partner is always easier--with one more set of eyes to find things. In that way, I feel badly not to help my husband out.
Being home alone for a few nights and days? I could get pretty lonely. I am trying to make some plans. Susan is on her own one of the days and asked if I wanted to join her for dinner out somewhere. Absolutely! I said if she drove, I would pay. She said that sounded like a deal! I was thinking of Alex's going on a silent retreat earlier this fall and thought these days could be my silent retreat. Maybe I could make it a time of a spiritual discipline of reading or listening to the liturgy of the hours. I found an app to use on my phone for that purpose. I know I could do that at any time but I might be more motivated when I am alone.
With Jim's help, I am making sure I know how to do the things he always does around here. I started the dishwasher yesterday. I turned the furnace off last night. Jim asked if my key opened the door without getting stuck and it did. He wondered if I had cash and we visited the PNC ATM. There is enough gas in the car. I had to drive on my own yesterday anyway and that was reassuring--because I rarely do so. Our newly leased car has its idiosyncrasies and its beeps are a bit unnerving. Plus it turns off when one brakes--to save gas. But that too is disconcerting when one thinks the engine has killed every time one comes to a stop.
I remember years ago being in New York City all alone for several days. Jim was in Japan as I recall so there was no contact between us. I felt a bit lost and lonely at first but then began to keep a running commentary in a journal and that made me feel as if there was someone to listen! I'm sure I'll be writing in my journals again. And I probably will do another blog to update this stay-at-home adventure.
Jim and I can still chat and text and do Spelling Bee with our iphones even if we are miles apart. We will be happy to see each other again next Monday. I hope and pray we can be safely reunited then.
We have appreciated being members of Lenten small groups at Nassau Church for the last three years. I have written about that before. A lasting benefit has been that when we have been worshipping at Nassau the last few weeks in person once again, it has been good to get over the feeling of being a stranger.
So when Corrie Berg, an assistant pastor who is in charge of education, asked us to lead a group this fall, we thought about it--I prayed about it--and we decided to give it a try. Our group has now met three times with two more sessions left. We meet on Tuesday evenings from 7 pm to 8:30 pm. This week there were eight of us with three missing and calling in their absences.
Our topic is "The End of the Main Line?" The question mark is important because not surprisingly, our main line church would like to think optimistically. We read a Bible passage from Acts and study that briefly. The following week the sermon is based on that passage. The first week we studied a Pew research survey on church membership showing declines from 2007 to 2014. Then we read Fosdick's famous sermon from the 1920s on "Shall the Fundamentalists Win?" and Martin Luther King's "Letter from a Birmingham Jail." Our adult education class led by Heath Carter of Princeton Seminary has been based on those readings. There are questions in a guide based on the readings as well as opening questions to help us get acquainted.
Our group includes one person who was christened in our church in the 1960s and one person who joined two weeks ago. Most of the group are long term members but they don't know each other which is not surprising in such a large congregation. There are no awkward silences in our discussion. Everyone has contributions to make. We have been thankful to have had this opportunity to do something for others in our church and once again, to get to know others better.
I had been having issues with my laptop telling me that my connection to wifi was weak and even buffering at times once I was connected. If I went into Jim's study, the problem was solved so clearly getting closer to the router was the answer.
But the problem was exasperated when we had continual buffering trying to watch NFL on Thursday evenings on Amazon Prime Video on our living room TV.
So we made an appointment using our xfinity app and met with a young man at the xfinity store at Mercer Mall last Friday. He gave us a new router with more speed (and only $3 a month more) and a new box for the bedroom TV. He sent us off with what we consider scary words, "It's very easy to hook them up."
Jim began the process and almost immediately I lost all wifi connections. The "vanderkam" option was gone. I felt lost without my connection to the world out there! It was almost a panicky feeling!
As it turned out, something got unplugged accidentally. Jim patiently worked on setting up the new router. When it asked for a cord that we didn't have, he boldly skipped that step. And...amazingly the connection worked and my laptop is connecting far better even in the room far from the router. Now the test will be Thursday evening. Can we watch the big game without the buffering?
Jim also hooked up the new box and remote in the bedroom so we can get more channels there. And that too is working just fine!
I give my husband a great deal of credit for staying patient and following directions. I give xfinity credit for good instructions for the most part.
October 29: Thursday night football was still buffering. We watched on Jim's laptop instead of our large TV. Susan suggested a firestick. Maybe that will be our next step.
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| View from our little balcony |
We both had another Covid booster on Monday at the CVS in Plainsboro. This was our 5th Covid shot. Unlike our first shots, scheduling was very easy on the CVS app on my iphone. Jim read me the various Medicare and prescription drug numbers as I filled out the required applications for each of us. We texted the pharmacy when we were in the parking lot and they let us know when we could come in to the store. There was a very short wait while the technician was helping someone else. She said she gave 200 shots in a day! Jim had no reaction to his booster. I felt chilled and a bit nauseous and tired all day on Tuesday but was just fine again on Wednesday.
Last Sunday our pastor was unable to worship at church because he got Covid--probably after a presbytery meeting in which one delegate let everyone know that he was positive afterwards. An associate pastor read his sermon. A good friend back in South Bend is isolating in her home and is frustrated by a continued positive home test. She is tired of isolating but doesn't want to expose her family. The days of worrying about ventilators and personal protective equipment and available hospital beds are gone but Covid is not. So we are still careful when we remember to be careful! May we be spared--we are thankful that we have been so far!
